What are your expectations?

[Kate Simmons]

When you take the time to get all dolled up to the "nines" and go out in public, shopping, clubbing or whatever you like doing while dressed, just what are your expectations and what do you hope to accomplish by doing that? I know many will say they just do it but there has to be some motivator even if it's not readily apparent. This is mainly directed towards those who want to "pass" or "blend" but anyone is welcome to comment.:)

[Katesback]

When I began transition I knew on a deep level that I had to do all I could to integrate into the general world. I ended up stending as much time as I could in settings where I would have opportunites to talk to people. Books stores, coffee houses, clubs, events, anything where I would be talking.

Needless to say I found it was extremely beneficial. Sure there was some comfort zone sort of occurances (such as occasionally going to the gay bar) but for the most part the general world was the most bang for the buck.

[Stephanie Miller]

What do I expect?.. I expect the largest percentage of people I come in contact with will hide their reactions until they think I am out of hearing range before expressing their coy remarks to whomever will listen :blah:. I expect there will be people that must make a point of showing their displeasure with my appearance as will there be a few that go out of their way to show they are "hip" by being overly accepting. I also expect there will be those few that genuinely accept me for who I am. ( God love them :love:). It's harder for those like me that don't look good as a female than it is for those that look good because we stand out more, thereby drawing more attention :confused2:. So I guess my expectations will be different.
What do I hope to accomplish? .... I would have to say I'm not the world's best "gender activist". I'm not going with the point of twisting someone's arm to accept me. Nor do I go out of my way to verbally push the CD cause to those that don't want to hear it. I just mean to pursue that part of me that NEEDS to be me. I don't care if I'm on my own patio alone or in a nice dress clothes shopping. I'm still filling a void that is there when I'm not Stephanie.

[Karren H]

I expect to find some good sales... I expect to eat some good food. I expect to loose some money (casinos will take my money no mater how I'm dressed). And I expect to have fun...

[Lorileah]

What Karren said :)

I expect to have a good time and when I come home dance around the room like Natalie Wood in West Side Story and fall on the bed with a far away look in my eyes. I expect that to last several days until I can do it again.

I expect all eyes on me at the club and I expect that more than a few there will look like they just sucked a lemon. I am never disappointed in that.

[LisaKarenAZ]

I don't go out fully dressed enfemme, out of lack of courage and opportunities. But if I did, I would expect to be seen and treated as a women should be treated, regardless if I am read or not.

[docrobbysherry]

If I knew a group of local girls, and there was a proper venue!:)

I almost ALWAYS dress to the 10's! Because I LOVE to look hot, sexy, and/or stylish!:daydreaming:
The MORE complete the fem look, the BETTER I like it!:D
Half, or part way dressed, doesn't DO IT for me!:sad:

I'd love to be able to take Sherry out to a TG club to show her off! No thot to going anywhere else, tho! Sherry doesn't "blend" very well!:doh:

[Marcia Blue]

My goal is to blend in. I am not there yet but, working on it.

[Rogina B]

It has all been said recently...Get in character,perfect the illusion,and go blend.Like Stephanie alluded to..not really blending in and not really being accepted by everyone[especially when you turn your back].And some are quite cool and accepting..But what Karren said is most important..having fun doing whatever it is you like to do while enjoying your female side.You make your own enjoyment and you aren't here forever!:)

[melissacd]

My expectations are no different than if I do not do these things. I dress en femme because it is a natural expression of who I feel I am. I expect when I go out in public to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of what mode I am in. I expect to be able to go where I normally go and do what I normally do. I do not expect to pass but I do believe that I blend well enough.

Huggs
Melissa

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Since my typical mode of dressing is not to be fully "en femme" I'm sure my expectations are a bit skewed in comparison to some others on here. For me I hope that when I go out as a guy in a skirt that people will, even if they find my look to be unusual, at least feel that aesthetically I've put together a nice outfit, or at the very least find it to be a non-issue. I expect sales people in stores to treat me with the same respect they would if I was wearing pants.

and knowing that people will have negative thoughts and comments, I hope they will keep them to themselves or at least not feel they have a right to confront me with their dislike of my outfit. On the other hand, I want to be at a point too where I don't care what people are thinking about me and what I wear, because I'm comfortable with it on my own. I've gotten pretty good at that over the past few months of public outings but I still feel nervous on occasion.

[rocketscientist]

My expectations are to be treated like a princess, with men and women awestruck in my presence! Lol. Seriously, my expectations are to someday have the shopping prowess of Kathi Lake combined with the wit and cavalier attitude of SuzanneBender.Kind of a Super CD! No, seriously. Lol. All kidding aside, I want to treated like any other girl would. I expect to read sometime and I expect some to just see a beautiful 6ft. tall, amazon chick!

[Wen4cd]

I don't go out, since I live way up in the mountains, and it would be a bit fruitless to dress out for 'no one.' The birds and the deer don't care anyway.

But I fantasize going out sometimes. What I expect or dream, I related back in this (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1984028&postcount=36) post, in the first section. It's not passing or blending, more of the opposite.

[Kate Simmons]

My own expectations change as time goes on and as I develop as a person. This is never ending. At this point I have very few expectations of myself or others and am basically in helping and teaching mode. It won't surprise me if very soon Denise is absorbed into my overall self and someone entirely new appears, but as I have learned that is my way and the way of progression for me.:)

[msginaadoll]

Well I expect to add a little excite to my life. It still is a thrill to get out dressed. I expect that some people will look at me a little closely. I expect some will refer to me as sir and some as maam. I do expect to be treated with respect, though I do expect one day to get heckled or teased. I expect and am more comfortable going shopping.

[windycissy]

When I'm by myself, my expectation is to blend into the crowd, just another woman, so I'm usually not dressed to the nines, I wear what a typical woman would wear where I'm going

When I'm out with other CD'ers, I expect to be read, and although it was difficult at first I've grown comfortable with with it, we're smart about the places we go, act like ladies and are treated with respect - of course, it helps when you're in San Francisco, not sure how that would work in flyover country

When I'm with a guy, my expectations are high: having a man on your arm is like natural camoflage (I wear flats unless he's way taller than me) and I get to dress up, let him do all the talking to waitresses etc, so I just relax and be pretty, it's the best

[SuzanneBender]

Denise great thread because it really got me thinking. I spent some time writting in my journal today about this topic. What I discovered really rocked my world.

I expect the same thing that I do when I go out as my male self. The only exception is I want to do it as a woman and not as a man. I want to have fun, I want to complete whatever task it is that I set out to do (hopefully dining or shopping) and I want to meet others and build relationships. I know its boring, but its all I expect. Well I do expect world peace and an end to global hunger, but its going to take one hell of an outfit for me to bring all that about in one outing. :D




When I'm by myself, my expectation is to blend into the crowd, just another woman, so I'm usually not dressed to the nines, I wear what a typical woman would wear where I'm going Same here! I love just dressing down and fitting in. Don't get me wrong. I love my fashion, but it has its time and place. For me it has become much more fulfilling to just be a girl in the crowd.

[dilane]

When out in the daytime, I dress to the 6's and 7's, and just like to be out and about to see and be seen, do various errands, try on the latest fasions, and stop off for a coffee and read. On a few occasions, I've been the target of a pick up :).

Sometimes I go out with friends, and have even more fun. Lately, our own Persephone and I have pall'd around various musea in the LA area, and we probably spend a lot more time chatting than absorbing the culture.

At night, I dress to the 8's and 9's and like to go to clubs -- straight clubs are the most fun and scariest at the same time. There I like to make connections to people, male and female. Getting asked to dance is the highest compliment. Just short of that is making new friends.

I also go to some higher class (that is, expensive!) bars (on Sunset, Beverly Hills, and at the Grove); funny how people remember me -- maybe it's my green eyes?? It's embarassing sometimes when someone I met once a year ago and had a nice conversation with comes up and addresses me by name and I have to really search my memory to remember who this person is and what we talked about.