Just came out to the wife

[JayUK]

I've been interested in girls clothing since before I knew what sex was. I was always slightly jealous at school of the girls wearing pretty (and as we got older, sexy) skirts when all i had to wear was boring grey shorts or long trousers. It fascinated me that they had to straighten the back of the skirt out as they sat down, then sit with their hands in their lap. I used to dream of being able to do the same thing.

Last week we were getting intimate. As is sometimes the fashion of bedroom talk (and we were both a bit drunk) she asked what fantasy I'd love to do right at that moment. Before i knew what I was saying I blurted out that I'd love to be dressed as a woman and treated as such. I then ended up confessing that I have clothes that I've bought hidden away from her that I would wear when she wasn't in the house.

I have no desire to become a woman and (at this stage) no desire to go out dressed up, but I've always dreamed of my wife knowing and accepting this part of my life.

Over the next few days we discussed it at length. As we talked she realised her fears were true, that it wasn't just a 'bedroom thing' and ultimately I wanted to be able to sit around the house dressed up.

There were a lot of tears and through this last week she's told me she's in complete turmoil and she can't sleep. She wants this whole thing to just go away but wisely she knows that it won't. Like most wives/SO's who hear this kind of thing she feels that she doesn't have anyone to talk to.

I'm personally overjoyed that I've told her as it's released this massive secret I've hidden from her for the last 11 years. Only problem is, she's now overweighed with this burden trying to understand something I've had 30 years to come to terms with.

I read all these stories about 'my wife fully supports me and even helps me choose clothes'. For me, that would be a dream come true. The amount of times I've supressed my thoughts that 'That's a pretty dress, I'd love to try that on' when we've been out shopping have been too many to mention.

I know you're supposed to give them time to come to terms with it in situations like this but I'm not sure if she will. And it upsets me to see her like this as I love her dearly.

To make matters worse, the urge to crossdress is at an all-time high as I haven't thought about anything else since we first discussed it last week.

I'm desperate to share this part of my life with her, talk to her openly and finally say what I'm thinking but I fear she may end up resenting me for it and eventually falling out of love with me.

She knows I won't (and can't) stop doing it, it's just all down to whether I include her in this part of my life. I'm praying that she comes around to it as it would literally be a dream come true and I would probably love her even more than I do already.

Alternatively if it goes completely the other way how can anyone possibly be expected to choose between their marriage and their intense urge to wear women's clothes?

[jenna_woods]

good luck to you, I an not sure how I would handel picking between my marriage and dressing, hope it never comes to that.for I know I can't give up dressing,

[lavistaa62]

Lots of people on the board have been able to segregate their dressing from their marriage as a somewhat closeted secret. Is it seeing you that disturbs her or the thought that you are doing it even when she's either not viewing or not aware of it? Compromise is the essence of happiness....

[Karren H]

Sometime sharing a secret like that with puts you SO in a mental prison that is so much worse than physical one... In my humble opinion. My wife felt the same way and has taken a "ignore it" posture. Which I'm happy for... Good luck.

[Lorileah]

I read all these stories about 'my wife fully supports me and even helps me choose clothes'. For me, that would be a dream come true.

I know you're supposed to give them time to come to terms with it in situations like this but I'm not sure if she will. And it upsets me to see her like this as I love her dearly.

To make matters worse, the urge to crossdress is at an all-time high as I haven't thought about anything else since we first discussed it last week.

I'm desperate to share this part of my life with her, talk to her openly and finally say what I'm thinking but I fear she may end up resenting me for it and eventually falling out of love with me.




Whoa, easy Trigger, easy. That's it, deep breath.

One of the cardinal rules in this is take it slow. Back down a bit. Let her assimilate the situation. Allay her fears. Understand that from her side you are not what she was brought up to expect from a partner. You are pumped now. You let out a secret and you are pumped up beyond what you expected. It has been building. No one likes to be bombarded with anything. So for now, back down a bit. Talk to her. Don't demand or push. Let her know that nothing on your side is different just now exposed. You are not any different that the person she enjoyed being with before. It is just a new facet that you wanted to share with her. Let her do some leading here. Maybe ask her to visit this forum and join the GG area where she can get some information from women who have been there,done that.

If you push, you will push her away. So go with the flow for now. If she can work through it in her mind, it will work out. If not then you know now that it wasn't what you thought it was. You then can make your decision to give it up or move on.

Your story isn't much different than mine was. I would whisper how I wanted to dress and act and be during "love making" she would giggle and tell me I was silly and then I would let it go only to find that she helped me buy my first heels, let me have skirts and dresses she no longer wanted, told me to wear pantyhose when I shoveled the walk or went skiing, gave me make-up she found didn't work for her, and told me my name should be Monique instead of Lori. I let her do it at her own pace. It worked for me.

[aggi123]

Jay, I'm sorry for your turmoil. I definitely agree that the best thing to do right now is to try to just turn that switch off for now and be patient with her. Maybe ask her to come to this forum?

[carolinoakland]

people choose to hide for many reasons, some good, some not so good. So, respect her boundries, do NOT push her limits or comfort zone. Let her come to you with questions. read the threads about coming out ( I know a little late for the telling, but you might find something that will help with the understanding part.) And it's good that A.) you recognize that part of her stuggle is that she is with out her usual support system of girl friends and family memebers. And that you have to keep that feeling of being free in check so that you don't suddenly go overboard and startd dressing all the time, and 'accidentally' let her see you. Don't. And realize that for her the single biggest issue is... The lie. How long did you keep this from her she's thinking,and how does she trust you now? So, slowly and respectfully. Carol

[nodaybuttoday]

Give her time, she has a lot to take in. When a wife finds out this kind of secret that has been hidden for many years, it's hard to take it all in. She is probably feeling confused, maybe even betrayed and lost. She definitely will need the time to think through this and take it all in. It's a lot to take in when you've been married to someone so long and think you knew everything about them.

She won't accept your CDing immediately and many GGs on here can tell you that for the most part, they didn't accept their SO's CDing immediately. It has taken me a few months and I am not even married to him. I was lucky to have found out within a year and a half of our relationship, I don't know how I would respond finding out 10 years later. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but if you love each other and you want to make it work, you can get through this together. Now is the time to be 100% open and honest, no more lying. She needs to know everything, she needs to know exactly what she's getting into. If you would EVER consider getting surgery or hormones, she needs to know, if you want to go out in public or anything of that sort, she needs to know. Get everything out on the table but also help her understand where you are coming from and educate her. Send her here and have her join the FAB forums, they are a lifesaver for someone who needs people to talk to. We totally understand what she is going through and I can tell you, those gals have helped me through a lot. Good luck and be positive, love always finds a way. :)

[Katesback]

Last Christmas I went home to Michigan for two weeks. It was the first time I have been home in three years and also the first time I was home as the person I am today. I went and visited some old friends and it was awesome, however I did realize something that I had not thought about. I am not the person they knew. They might have been nice and all but thier brains are programed for someone that does not exist anymore.

What I am getting at is the same thing happens with wives. They marry a man and have a program in thier mind that does not include a hobby being a cd. The point I am making is that for many it is wise to separate the CD stuff from your marriage. Perhaps do the CD talking in venues like this or with other CD friends. The fact is that for most wives they are not interesed in being part of the CD stuff just as if you might not be interested in some of the things she does.

Is it hard? Well perhaps but the fact is that people are what they are and most people are resistant to change!

Katie

[JayUK]

Thanks for all your responses. I read them all several times.

We had a pretty good chat last night and she didn't cry. She also looks a lot more refreshed this morning, although that could be coz she's got a day off work due to the snow :straightface:

I think she's realising that talking about it is helping rather than hindering.

I also think she's out of the denial stage and coming into the acceptance stage. She's coming around to the fact that the elephant is there to stay.

Certainly nowhere near the embracing part but I the atmosphere has definitely lifted a little.

There was one thing she mentioned that I read yesterday that she's concerned her 'rugged' man won't be there any more and I'm going to have to do feminine things like keep my legs closed when i'm sat rather than sprawling out like i normally do. I couldn't remember for the life of me where I read about it, but it was cracking advice!

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jay

I know you blurted it out so she knows but I would suggest you read the link in my signature on "how to tell your partner"

This has lots of good information on the questions she will likely ask as things move forward

Like the others have said go slow and take things along at her speed

[Tracey Corset]

Lots of good advice above Jay, as has been said, ask her if she would like to join this forum, she would get tons of advice from the other GGs, i know now that it's out all you want to do is dress but try to resist untill she feels more secure, take it slow it will pay off in the long run

[Joanne f]

It is always a difficult situation fore both to deal with and i am sure that you are worried if you have done the right thing by telling your wife as much as your wife will now have all the worries and concerns of the "what if " questions that she will be asking herself and no doubt will be asking you very soon , so just let her deal with this in her time but also be careful of who your wife turns to for advice .
I am sure you must know that there is a forum for wife's , SOs and GGs which they can chat with others in the same situation and it would be worthwhile for you to mention this to your wife .

[JayUK]

I've read the post on how to tell your partner. Unfortunately it was after I told her but it's still very informative.

I even looked through the geocities links, there's a good page where it asks a load of SO's the same questions. A great mix of opinions there (have to go through archive.org seeing as Geocities has now closed down):

http://web.archive.org/web/20041105042535/www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/wife_say.htm

Good for anyone else who wants to understand what their partner is having to go through.

I recommended she have a look through the forums and even put down a post or two. She's not really entertaining that idea. I think she just prefers reading other people's posts. Still, baby steps at the moment.

I have a bad tendency to rush into things but I'm determined I'm doing this at her pace for once.

[JayUK]

I asked her last night if she minded if I shaved my legs. At first she was silent and defensive, but I was wise enough to tell her 'No, it's far too soon, I'm sorry, I promise I won't mention it again'.

Later in the evening she said 'You know, if you want to shave your legs you can'.

I love my wife, she's been totally brilliant about this whole thing so far. And it's been a hell of a lot to take in. But she's been reading loads about it. She hasn't ignored it and she hasn't dismissed it. I really couldn't ask for more.

[JulieC]

I asked her last night if she minded if I shaved my legs. At first she was silent and defensive, but I was wise enough to tell her 'No, it's far too soon, I'm sorry, I promise I won't mention it again'.

Later in the evening she said 'You know, if you want to shave your legs you can'.

I love my wife, she's been totally brilliant about this whole thing so far. And it's been a hell of a lot to take in. But she's been reading loads about it. She hasn't ignored it and she hasn't dismissed it. I really couldn't ask for more.

No, you couldn't. I'd wait on shaving your legs. Six months from now, your legs will be just as shaved whether you shave them today through then or five months from now through then.

Remember always that you've had your whole life to come to terms with this. Your wife has had but a few days. Patience, grasshopper :)

It isn't enough that your wife is being so wonderful through this. You have to walk together in this, and keep those lines of communication completely open. Don't say things like "I won't mention it again" as you're slamming doors in her face.

Be completely open. No closed doors now. Empower her; make sure she understands she is 100% involved in you and you welcome that. No sense of control should be exerted by either of you towards the other. Instead, the sense of control should be from the two of you together. Figure out what works for both of you together. Figure out what the balance is. Find your equilibrium together. Allow for it to be flexible, so it can change with time.

And for <deity> sake buy the woman some flowers, take her out for a shopping spree, take her to dinner at her favorite restaurant, something...or MANythings...make sure she knows just how much you love and appreciate her.

[Vicki65]

Jay, well done so far. There's so many here better qualified than I to advise you. All I would say is take things slowly, at her pace. Dont force the issue, but dont hide from it either. When she wants to talk about it, talk and be honest. When she doesn't want to talk, dont.

I 'came out' to my wife a few years back now (I think) and it wasn't a pretty sight (like me! :heehee:) but following lots of talking, lots of tears, lots of hugs, we're at a much better place than I ever thought possible.

I dont dress around her, but thats fine by me, and is at least partly my choice because I make a pretty cr@p looking woman. She has said she probably would like to see me dressed sometime, and I said I'd rather she didn't yet.

I'm still her man, and I still do 'sprawl' on the couch etc. What did make her think was when I said I've been a crossdresser as long as I can remember (30 years plus), and she's only KNOWN for two years. I am the same person I've always been, I didn't magically change when I told her. We talk about it when shopping ('Do you like this skirt? These boots? etc) and we laugh about it etc. Its 'the norm'. She loves me clothes shopping with her too! I dont get bored of it like most blokes, I have a really good eye for what looks good on her, and I'm forever buying her clothes! (In fact, whilst I type, there are some 'just over the knee' suede boots I brought home from New Look tonight on the couch for her). Hopefully, your wife will grow to love the fact that you're in touch with your feminine side too.

Good luck!:hugs:

[Stephanie Miller]

Good Lord Jay.... I know "slow" is a relative term but I think you need to re-evaluate your own definition of it.
Let's see, it was 1/12 that you came on board with your first post. It wasn't 20 minutes later that .....
Lorileah came back with the first "take it slow" Minutes after that Aggi stated "turn that switch off".
NoDay "Give her time".
Then 48 hours later... " I asked her last night if she minded if I shaved my legs."
I guess the question here really is what size 2x4 do you need to come up along-side that thick skull of yours?
At this pace by next month you're going to ask her to accompany you to the nearest SRS doctor.
And you wonder why she's scared?
Follow your own advice " but I'm determined I'm doing this at her pace for once. "

[gemsay32]

I had this image in my head of someone struggling to keep their skirt down.

No! Bad skirt!

[NicoleScott]

Jay U Knucklehead. As Stephanie said, you got lots of advice to slow down, and you pushed on.
My wife knows and accepts, but doesn't participate. It would be nice iif she would, but she has no interest. So I dress alone - sometimes she knows and sometimes she doesn't. I accept (and am very grateful for) this level of acceptance. It works for us both.
In your original post you seemed to place a great deal of importance on sharing your crossdressing experiences with her, dressing at home in front of her, etc. You even said you were desperate to do so. This seems to be too much for her. Just accepting that you crossdress is difficult for her, but participating seems to be too much.
I'd be careful about thinking "it's too soon", as that implies that you expect her to come around eventually, which she may not.
I am happy to take what I can get (my wife's level of acceptance). Wanting more than she can give you may be a deal-breaker, and the marriage may not survive if you must have it that way.

[JayUK]

We made love on Saturday night with me fully dressed up. A lot of alcohol helped on both parts. It got the elephant firmly shifted from the room and what she's imagining wasn't as bad as what I looked like.

I can honestly say it was the best sex I've ever had in my life. She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed and she didn't find it awkward. Even in the morning it was all fine and she keeps calling me girls names a la Scrubs just to take the piss, but in a light, jokey way.

But we're now firmly past the uncomfortable stage. Not quite ready for the sitting around watching telly stage yet, but I'm as happy as larry.

Never in my wildest dreams thought it would ever get this far so quickly. We're now discussing the practicalities of what I would be wearing around the house. Short skirts look nice enough but aren't the warmest of clothing in the middle of January.

It's great that I can finally discuss this with her after 12 years of repression. She was going to buy me some tights (pantyhose) yesterday but admitted that she had a moment of clarity as to exactly what she was doing. But she then reassured me that she will come around to it, just give her a bit of time...

I'm in love all over again. :daydreaming:

[EnglishRose]

Sometimes the uncomfortable stage doesn't fully go away. When I am in a dressing mood (I can dress around her every evening for a week or so, and this happens about once a month) I will get dressed after our toddler son has gone to bed, and wear a nightie to bed. It's drab during the day.

However in the past she's told me that some of my nicer things make her feel a little jealous (I usually dress conservatively but occasionally not so much), and I didn't know she felt that way before. Also, my dressing is a bit of a turn off for her, so (and this is not a problem) we have completely separated my dressing and our sex life.

Even though you perceive how well things are going, please please don't assume that you can accelerate at will.

My wife's attitude is basically that she's fine with my dressing, I can do it whenever I need to, but I always get the impression that it's not her favorite thing, which why should it.

[KristinSkye]

First off as someone else who recently came out to their wife congratulations for finally doing it. And from the sound of it it seems that things are very quickly going in a positive direction :)

My advice: continue to listen to the advice of the awesome people on this board who have been through it before. Their advice has really helped me.

[DonnaT]

We made love on Saturday night with me fully dressed up. A lot of alcohol helped on both parts.
Who brought the idea up?

If your wife did, then that's cool. Let her work things out at her own pace.

Try it without the alcohol next time she offers, however.

Note that even if one's SO does set the pace, things can go wonkers on you where she'll decide it's not for her. Especially if it's too much too soon. Even if she is setting the pace.

So you may want to think about slowing down a bit, and talking more about her feelings, before proceeding with further dress-ups.

[JulieC]

It's great that I can finally discuss this with her after 12 years of repression. She was going to buy me some tights (pantyhose) yesterday but admitted that she had a moment of clarity as to exactly what she was doing. But she then reassured me that she will come around to it, just give her a bit of time...

I have to agree with DonnaT above.

Don't assume that everything's going to keep going smoothly. Don't assume that just because your wife has gone past one hurdle that the hurdle is in the past. She can just as well (and LEGITIMATELY!) hop right back over to the unaccepting of 'X" thing side.

For example, don't presume that since you've made love with your wife while dressed en femme, that she will be always accepting of it. Sometimes she might be in the mood, sometimes not. Don't push.

This effort on both of your parts does not subscribe to logical paradigms. It works on its own terms, its own sense of common sense. Make sure you are always walking WITH your wife, and keep those lines of communication WIDE open. Make sure that she has a voice, even when her opinions do not agree with yours.

[MarinaKirax]

As someone who 3 weeks ago was discovered by his lovely wife, and who was terrified of losing everything, I too am as lucky as you. My wife has accepted me as the man I AM, and my feminine 'desires'. We are men who enjoy dressing, or assuming a feminine persona. For some, it seems, this gives us sexual excitement, for some peace, and for some, an identification with the image they always had of themselves. I have had hours of talking with my wife since this came up unexpectedly three weeks ago. It was very important for her to understand where I fit on this continuum.

First, there were tears, but, as Robbie Burns said, disappearing like snowflakes on water. But I have understood the depth of hurt that the deception leaves - whether you feel you deceived her partly to protect her, or not. My wife was genuinely concerned that the MAN she married and had kids with would disappear, or that our sex life together would never return to the traditional, WASP missionary position that we had for years (not that there's anything wrong with that! ...;))

You have exacted grand concessions (and I use the verb exacted deliberately; she was in a way coerced; she had as much to lose by leaving you as you did if she left) and so now if I were in your position I would let her know how much you love her and thank her for her acceptance, and try to reassure her that this is but one aspect of you, one that has existed always, and you can still be her man. Thats what she signed up for. She has given you freedom to enjoy the woman in you, you owe her confirmation that the man in you hasn't left her forever. Just my thoughts. Marina

[sherri52]

Good luck with your wife. I have been there and like many others it didn't go well. Having a supportive So is the dream of most cd'ers and I hope you get what you wish.:thumbsup:

[NoraTV]

I just want to support the advice that others have given you. Give it time. Your SO is probably feeling very insecure right now. She probably isn't a person who likes big surprises.

I would remind her that it does not have to be a choice between your marriage and your fondness for high heels. The two do not have to be mutually exclusive. Be sure that she understands that's the way you feel about it. If she wants to set up that choice, that's her right. But if she is confident about the underlying love between you, in time she should come around to tolerate this "new" aspect of who you are and perhaps even to enjoy it.

If, however, that is what you think, that it is a choice, then you need to make the decisions, not her. Don't expect your SO to sit by quietly while you explore all of the aspects of your full personality without any responsibility to your relationship with her. It won't work. Don't exclude her from your feminine self, but don't try to drag her into it.

A lot of us have been through this. Just be cool. Trust us. It usually works out for what's best for the couple involved.

[carolyn todd]

hello jay
small steps, don't rush it take things at your wife pace
spoil her, cuddle her, make a fuss of her buy her flowers or chocolates
go to fast for her she might say hang on a minute what about me
what do i get.

good luck to both of you.

carolyn xx

[annsummers]

you cant choose and she shouldnt make you if she truely loves you

[kimdl93]

I guess you have to expect some hard times, but the one thing you can do, as many commenters have said, is to keep open to her. Don't force it, but do talk with her...as long and as patiently as you can and as often as she needs. It may be that she won't be able to accept it. then you have a choice that she seem to realize would be impossible for you too.

[SamanthaS]

Good luck with this hon. Every male on this forum knows how you feel. Personally I wish there was a pill I could take to make the urge to dress go away. I also don't understand why some women are so afraid of crossdressing. "We" will always be men. I still like manly things, lol. It's amazing how some articles of clothing can make people see you in a different light, or treat you differently based on how your dressed :(

[Navywife]

Hi Jay,
I am a GG and my husband is a CD. He told me about a year ago and I know what your wife is going through. she is scared that you will want to become a girl in all ways, that you will want to go outside in public dressed up, and that the man she married is gone and now she will only have a girlfriend or a Girly man. Not her Man that she married.

Give her time.. as I read more of your posts.. sounds like what happened to us. I was trying to go with the flow and ended up going way too fast for myself and had to back track since I was dying inside and trying to let him have a chance to dress... So with the pink fog attacking him... I asked him to slow down and let me wrap my head around what he has told me and to get some information on what this is and how to help and act with it.. He said that he has known this about himself for 30 years and I just found out weeks ago so he could want for me to work through it.. So I just started slowly and read a lot on the forum.. talked a lot to him and what he thought he wanted..

We made rules things I could accept now.. and things I can't yet..
as time went on we together changed the rules as I became more accepting and understanding of his needs and him of mine.

Now I buy things for him while I'm out shopping for me if I see something I think that (she) might like. Our kids don't know yet.. he dresses when they are not home.. he is their step-dad.. so when they go to see their dad every other weekend.. We go shopping together..I have helped him with his make-up.. Hair, and jewerly... I have fun helping..

But.. as for me I can't have it in the bedroom.. I tried and that isn't for me and he has accepted that is something I can't do.. Now I haven't ruled it out forever but right now ... that is one of our rules..

If you don't push her. I can't say that she will be fully accepting but with you letting her take the lead and you taking what you can get for awhile, while she learns about this and about herself and her ability to accept it.. You may be surprised...
My Husband is surprised everyday..at least that is what he tells me..

Good Luck and God Bless you and your wife..
:) :hugs:

[Shelly67]

Well ....things have certainly moved into a new venture and ground in both of your lives . Please , don't let it become obsessive on you're part - it's such an easy thing to do - and we've all done it , one way or another . There is an option here .... you've obviously realised through clear communication how things can progress . Perhaps the atmosphere ( although accepted , it may be " new " ) could be eased a little further . Why not gently ask her to help you make the most of it all - help you with make up , ect ect ? Go very slowly , listen , and be considerate .
I seriously think in the first few delicate day's and weeks of coming out ( hate that term ) one thing must have run through our partners mind - especially if sex has taken place whilst enfemme - alcohol or not in the equasion . "Will he ever want to make love to me again as the guy I fell in love with ?" My wife was seriously concerned on this . Now , when she first spoke of this , I made a pact with myself . Ok , all dressed up relaxed , feeling sexy , I wouldn't expect sex every time I was dressed . I'd certainly be warm , give cuddles and try to have fun , but abstain from it , let her do the running if the desire was there . Sometimes it is , sometimes it isn't . Also for some odd ( undiscussed ) reason ,things developed so that I'll not dress when she has her monthly cycle . She even thanked me for it once , realising i was desperate to dress .... weird but true . We seem to have met each other half way .
In short , after all the time thats now passed , we try to almost celebrate our life together , looking back I realise this has only been able through consideration , paitience , honesty and support . Believe me , it hasn't been easy at times the elephant we speak of went off in tantrums ....but theres truth in life - if somethings really worth it , then it's never easy . But a whole lot more attainable if done together .
Good luck to you both , now go woo the girl like a man , spoil her rotten ! Make her feel so secure and so very special .
:love:

[JayUK]

We've pulled it right back at the moment. I've promised her I will take it at her pace and she does keep surprising me every now and then.

In the supermarket the other day she asked me if I wanted to look at 'clothes' so she could get an idea of what kind of stuff I liked (annoyingly the most of the clothes in there were shit, but I was just happy to be able to speak my mind rather than biting my tongue), which I was very surprised and also rather excited about. On the way home, i thanked her for doing that. It was a little thing but it meant a lot.

I guess the worry is that if I don't mention it, it will just get brushed under the carpet and never mentioned again. But it's not. We're doing it exactly at her pace and every time the topic is brought up (by her), then she's that little bit more accepting

[kimdl93]

this really sounds promising. Although I've been out to my wife for 10 years, it was only a few months ago that my wife invited me to go shopping with her...it was like being given a free pass to the club! Little steps like that might seem minor, but are evidence of growing acceptance.

[carolyn todd]

hello jay
just to say GOOD LUCK to you girl.

don't forget to keep us in the loop.

carolyn xx

[natashab]

I am quite surprised that some of the GGs dont realy like their husbands dressed up in femme when going to bed with their wives. I did try it and ZI also did not realy like it but tryed to get used to it. Maybe even if she offers rather not, inspite it is a temptation for you. Maybe ata later stage check it out but like any of the other comments ...baby steps at the moment.

[JayUK]

Situation Update.

We're certainly not 'there' yet. Had a few tears the other night when we discussed it again. She's feeling very torn and everything she's read on the interweb suggests that 'if she doesn't let me express myself that I'll end up leaving her'.

I've tried to convince that that's not going to happen. I have no intention of leaving her in the slightest but we're both realists rather than dreamers and are very aware that we need to come to a decent compromise.

Her opinions are currently torn between 'They're only clothes' and 'I don't want that, that's not the man I married' but in general she's more accepting that I need to do it, whether she's there or not.

She's even washed some of my clothes and underwear over the weekend without batting an eyelid. She noticed last night that a pair of knickers was missing from the clothes rack where they were drying and she mentioned that I'd obviously taken them down to use them.

I told her I dressed on Monday while she was at work. She wasn't annoyed or upset about it in the slightest. She just shook her head and tutted coz I'd been caught out (in that same way they do when you buy a new gadget to replace a previous model).

I've a feeling she'll ask me about it at some point, what I was wearing, where I was, what I was doing when dressed, how long I dressed for, etc.

She has an excellent memory and a habit of suddenly carrying on conversations that were started days ago (don't all women?)

[carolyn todd]

She has an excellent memory and a habit of suddenly carrying conversations that were started days ago (don't all women?)

jay
i know that my SO can rememory things i said years ago or six months ago
how is that.
perhap you can ask her if you can dress up or does she mind if you
wear your other clothes while she at work or out NOT EVERY NIGHT i mean
your just getting started.
small steps
carolyn xx

[JayUK]

I would do but she's already came up with a proposal last night.

I'm allowed to wear underwear pretty much whenever I want now (barring a bra coz it's too obvious), but anything that isn't visible I can wear. As long as it's not ALL the time.

She's noted that this isn't the end of it, but if we can keep it there for just now, then she'll feel a lot more comfortable.

I, naturally, am overjoyed and spent most of yesterday evening in tights (pantyhose) and lace underwear underneath my normal clothing.

[Kerrie Sifton]

Good luck with this venture.
My spouse found a receipt from a corset shop which started the conversation rolling. She is split between accepting the fact and not wanting to meet Kerrie. She also did research on the web and is in a bit of turmoil about this news that had been kept from her for many many years.
We keep the dialogue going but it has its ups and downs. Moments of breakthrough and moments of distress.

Keep chatting and be aware that your pink fog does not overrun her needs. It can do that. You may be happy because you can dress, but whats in it for her?
Another site of interest is http://cdsecretgarden.femmegetaway.com/
All the best
Kerrie