Need some encouragement!!

[kelly1469]

Hey girls!!

I need some encouragement!!

Basically, a window of opportunity has opened up for me next week, to go shopping for the day - but i wanna really push the boundries out this time!!

The plan (in my head) is to get up early, drive about 45mins to my nearest train station - having to change in the car somewhere (altho should be ok as will still be dark), then get the train into London and spend the whole day shopping!! :daydreaming:

I have my outfit ready -and bought a lush coat so i can fit in as best as poss!
There is also a trans friendly shop in London i've been wanting to go to for ages (altho from the outside it apparently looks like a small adult shop - so am scared and nervous about even going in!!)

I am excited, as i have finalised the outfit and bought the train ticket..... but i am soooooo nervous and scared!!!!!

It keeps hitting me about what i am actually gonna do! (especially as i'm still in the closet!)

I am worried about being in public for so long (would be about 8 hours), the hour train journey there and back, what to do for lunch, getting funny looks when shopping!!

I need some words of encouragement as i'm starting to have feelings of guilt and wanting to chicken out! (the kinda feelings u get just before u purge!) :sad:

[carolinoakland]

well not to put any pressure on you buuuut. How are you going to feel all dressed up and chickening out? You don't want to regret not doing something and wondering...I shoulda.... Go, remember to breathe, and remember... girls don't rush! Poise and grace at all times! And remember to give yourself permission to be happy, only you can.. Carol

[StaceyJane]

If you don't do it you wil regret it for such a long time.
Do I need to go to the UK and toss you out the door?

[sallyjones]

if your in london no problems. if your worried about how you look just get ready at home. like you said it will be dark. and remember when you see people look at them and smile,that right smile. so go have a great time you dont need encouragment just be you.

[Brandi Wyne]

I know where you are, Hon. I've done similar things with great trepidation. I find that over so many hours a couple of things will raise the tension level. First and foremost is speaking. Unless you were blessed with a naturally femme speaking voice, it's always a challenge to plow ahead knowing you'll be "made". The other is the bathroom. Not using it but having the real confidence to just go in even if there are several GGs there.

My saving grace was having a daughter who knows and is supportive go with me and do most of the speaking, like restaurants, some stores and such.

Good luck and I hope you post your venture for all of us to see.
Hugs,

[aggi123]

You go, girl! If you chicken out now you're gonna have to give us that update now!! I can tell you that I certainly don't want to read about that. If you don't do it, I'm gonna be :sad:

[Karren H]

Personally I think it may be too much... Especially if you not used to be out and about. For me being "trapped" on a train with no exit stradegy if something goes very bad is an issue... I pick my venues carefully and though I've never had to use them, I always have multiple avenues of retreat... Safety first! Driving somewhere and doing a shorter excersion may be better, in my humble opinion

[LaceyMay]

I know how exciting it can be with the prospect of going out dressed the first times. I know for myself, that even with my experience, when traveling at night ,I still try to go out with someone else with me. It is simply easier to go with another person. Girls in general do not travel around at night alone, and neither should a Trans person. It is simply a matter of safety.

I truly hope that you have a wonderful experience, however when dressed as female, it puts us in the same position of vulnerability as a female. So we must take proper care to be safe.

Wishing you all the best.

LaceyMay

[Kathi Lake]

Kelly,

You can do it! Heck, if I can - in a state as conservative as Utah - then anyone can!

I only started going out about a year ago. I realized that if I wanted a chance at happiness, then I'd better get started. Yes, there's that moment of "puckering down south" when you get ready to step out the door fully-dressed, but it soon passes when you realize that no one is paying you undue attention. You're quite smart in dressing like the other women you've seen around you. Tat blendability is one thing that really helps. I've heard too many horror stories from my GG friends saying how they saw "this one guy" dressed in 5-inch heels, a miniskirt and a tube top or something equally wrong, and it really put a bad taste in their mouths.

Have fun!

Kathi

[Stephanie Miller]

A couple of the girls brought up a good point... safety first!
If you think you have that covered then... Have a great time. The only person that is going to let you chicken out ---- is you :doh:
The first time I went out I just pretended that if I accomplished my "task" I would win a $1million bet. That way if and/or when people laughed or teased it made it O.K. because I could take it. I knew I was going to be the big winner in the end. And heck, they didn't know me from Adam or ever see me again anyway. (Actually when I finished my journey the feelings I had were worth the $1mil).
So.... if someone bet you...... would you do it? :battingeyelashes:

[kelly1469]

I've been shopping about 5/6 times before - but only normally for about a few hours at a time (in a town i know) driving there and back (so fairly safe!)

I really wanna do it - just so scared, nervous and these huge feelings of guilt!!!!

[msniki48]

Kelly,

Enjoy yourself! but also be safe.


hugs


msniki48

[Samantha B L]

Kelly,I honestly beleive that TG/TS/CD runs in families and that it's hormonal and neurological in nature and it can't be cured. And of all the things you could inherit it seems to me being a "TV"/CD is a gift. So enjoy it. It won't go away and besides,it doesn't mean that you're crazy or that you're a child molester or any of that other stuff. But I can understand a little nervousity over excursions like this. You're always worried that someone in your family or on your job will see you and hassle you about dressing. I used to take the bus to a large city near where I lived so I could buy clothes and stuff and the first couple of times I was petrified. If I were you I'd go ahead and do it as long as all the angles are worked out on people finding out about you. You'll feel nervous and scared waiting for the train you can be sure but that 'll go away in like 10 minutes and I think you'll have a super great time. I was on vacation in England about 10 years ago and you do see crossdressers in London often and generally it's no big deal.


:hugs: :thumbsup: :love:

Samantha

[Karren H]

You probably don't want me to tell you about an online friend I have from london who ended up in the hospital, being beat unconsious and robbed... Not having enough for a cab so had to walk home in a torn up dress and one shoe missing!

[Kathi Lake]

. . . and these huge feelings of guilt!!!!Guilt? Whatever for!?


You probably don't want me to tell you about an online friend I have from london who ended up in the hospital, being beat unconsious and robbed... Not having enough for a cab so had to walk home in a torn up dress and one shoe missing!No, she probably doesn't. Thanks for telling her anyway.

Kathi

[Karren H]

London is not Salt Lake City, Kathi! Lol

[minalost]

well not to put any pressure on you buuuut. How are you going to feel all dressed up and chickening out? You don't want to regret not doing something and wondering...I shoulda.... Go, remember to breathe, and remember... girls don't rush! Poise and grace at all times! And remember to give yourself permission to be happy, only you can.. Carol


Personally I think it may be too much... Especially if you not used to be out and about. For me being "trapped" on a train with no exit stradegy if something goes very bad is an issue... I pick my venues carefully and though I've never had to use them, I always have multiple avenues of retreat... Safety first! Driving somewhere and doing a shorter excersion may be better, in my humble opinion

Ditto to both of the above. IF you are confident of your safety then GO GIRL! And SMILE :)!
:hugs:

[Stephanie Miller]

And this from Pennlive.com today....
"Nance, of Newport, said Greenwalt and 32-year-old Keith Hammaker led a group of five people who accused him of burglarizing Greenwalt and Hammaker's home. They tied him up, threatened to inject his body with nail polish remover from a syringe, beat him up, then dumped him naked alongside a road in Shermans Dale on Nov. 13"

Can't stay indoors and you can't stay out. So what's a girl to do and where do we live?

Gosh Karen...you're scaring the bejeebies out of her. She's probably won't be the first CD to make such a trip there ..... but she can be the most cautious and aware.
Be safe Kelly but have fun.

[Tamara Croft]

This is London UK and posting such stories about beatings in the states is hardly a good idea is it? Talk about unsupportive... not impressed at all. AFAIK, London is very trans friendly, you'll be fine, just take something you can change into if you get too stressed out.

[Rianna Humble]

Hey girls!!

I need some encouragement!!

Basically, a window of opportunity has opened up for me next week, to go shopping for the day - but i wanna really push the boundries out this time!!

Go for it hun - if not you'll regret it, maybe not today, but soon enough.


The plan (in my head) is to get up early, drive about 45mins to my nearest train station - having to change in the car somewhere (altho should be ok as will still be dark), then get the train into London and spend the whole day shopping!! :daydreaming:

If it's going to be dark, why not dress before you set out - it'll be much easier than changing en route


I have my outfit ready -and bought a lush coat so i can fit in as best as poss!

I bet you will be an absolute stunner, hope we'll get some pics!


I am excited, as i have finalised the outfit and bought the train ticket..... but i am soooooo nervous and scared!!!!!

It keeps hitting me about what i am actually gonna do! (especially as i'm still in the closet!)

Don't worry, take the time to enjoy yourself. I am still in the closet near my home, but now often travel dressed when I am setting out from home in the dark. You'd be amazed how many GGs actually talk to me when they see I'm dressed


I am worried about being in public for so long (would be about 8 hours), the hour train journey there and back, what to do for lunch, getting funny looks when shopping!!

At the end of the day, you'll wonder where the time went.

On the train journey, if you remember to adopt a decent pose, there is no reason why you shouldn't have a good experience and maybe even get to chat with some GGs who are on the same train.

I find the easiest when I'm out all day is to find somewhere to buy lunch around lunchtime, then just go for it. Last time I did this, I got called madam despite having a voice like a double bass.


I need some words of encouragement as i'm starting to have feelings of guilt and wanting to chicken out! (the kinda feelings u get just before u purge!) :sad:

Wrong time to purge :battingeyelashes:

It's too easy to feel guilty about wanting to be happy, much better to feel guilty (after the fact) about having contemplated chickening out. Best of all remember that there is no need for guilt at all.

I hope you have a wonderful day out and that you let us know how well everything went.

BTW, I often agree with what Karren writes, but IMNSHO she has let concerns for your safety outweigh her understanding of the benefit to you of experiencing this day out.

[Holly]

Hey girls!!

I need some encouragement...Consider yourself encouraged!!! :D Look Kelly, by your own admission, you have been oust before. You know what to expect. If you have been shopping before, then you have to have interacted with at the very least, shop staff. You seem to have survived that as you are still here :). When I go out, I don't take any boy clothes with me at all. If something happens (nothing has yet) I'm just going to have to deal with it as my girl-self. Actually I did have to deal with a small issue recently. You can read about it here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=123651). I survived just fine. My recommedations for you are as follows:

Be confident! This one thing is the biggest factor in fitting in and interacting with others. If you are scared and frightened, people will pick up on that and react accordingly. If you are poised and confident, they will also react to that as well. As a human being, you have as much right to your joy and happiness as ANYONE ELSE. Now specifically about the TG shop you want to visit, perhaps a phone call a few days before your visit would help settle your nervousness. Speak to them about your goals, what you are looking to purchase. Then when you get there, you'll have something concrete to start out with as far as looking for items.

Be aware of your surroundings. Women do this naturally. If someplace or someone gives you an uncomfortable feeling, then avoid it/them. Stay in public places and don't allow yourself to be isolated. Don't be fearful but be cautious. :)

Prepare yourself mentally. One issue you are likely going to have to face at least once during your outing is using the loo. What are you prepared to do? Me, if I am presenting as a lady, I use the Ladies. Do any of the places you are going to visit have unisex or family facilities? Can you call ahead to find out? One alternative would be to use the facilities at the trans friendly shop you are going to visit. You may come up with other solutions as well.

As part of your mental preparation, prepare yourself to have a good time. Be positive in your outlook. If you go into it worried and stress, it is all to easy to become worried and stressed during your outing. Adopt the Nike attitude..."Just do it." Oh, and be sure to let us know how it went!!! :D

[bethplays]

Good Luck Sweetie!!! As the previous posts say, just be calm, relaxed and take your time. Other people are more worried about their own actions and don't really notice others.
Enjoy your trip and the others have given really good suggestions. Safety, back up plans, maybe bring the back up clothes.
Good luck and have a great time.
Beth

[Stephanie Miller]

"Talk about unsupportive... not impressed at all. "

I think if you re-read my posts you will find quite a bit of encouragement :
Post #1 "A couple of the girls brought up a good point... safety first!
If you think you have that covered then... Have a great time.
Post #2 "Be safe Kelly but have fun."

My point Tamara was NOT to be unsupportive. My point was to show that no matter where you lived - stuff happens. Part of life.
In this case it was Karen pointing out London may be a harsh place, and I, in turn, was trying to demonstrate to Karen stuff happens everywhere ( even in Karens own "backyard" ) and it should stop us from going out - just make us aware.

[Tamara Croft]

Who said I was actually talking to you Stephanie? Did I actually quote names? NO... I was referring to ALL the posts in this thread.... :rolleyes:

[Kari Lynn Franks]

This is London UK and posting such stories about beatings in the states is hardly a good idea is it? Talk about unsupportive... not impressed at all. AFAIK, London is very trans friendly, you'll be fine, just take something you can change into if you get too stressed out.

Karren that wasn't nice she asked for encouragement not discouragement

[Samantha B L]

You probably don't want me to tell you about an online friend I have from london who ended up in the hospital, being beat unconsious and robbed... Not having enough for a cab so had to walk home in a torn up dress and one shoe missing!

Yes,Karen,you can get your ass kicked in London just like anywhere else. You have to be cautious about some of the street gang and skinhead types who are in some of the neighborhoods. But on the whole I can guarantee that London is like I said generally Trans freindly and there's a lot for CD's to do.

[kelly1469]

Bad News:

Just had my exam results - failed my resit exams, so will be kicked off my degree :sad:

Am gutted (prob failed cause my mind is so distracted with dressing)

...and sorta lost interest to go shopping now :sad:

[Rianna Humble]

Kelly, I'm gutted for you about the exams, but that only makes it more important for you to do this trip to London.

Don't give up on it now, go out there, show the world what you're made of, let it boost your confidence - and f course a little retail therapy can do a girl the world of good :winkp:

[kelly1469]

Well girls, i went shopping today, but in drab :(

i felt a bit too scared to jump into the unknown!!!

But, i will have another opportunities mid Feb, so today was a 'dry run' - check everything out, and i think i would have been ok!!

I did go shopping and get loads of stuff!! :daydreaming:

This is what i'm planning to wear when i defo do it next month - what u think? seems to be quite a common look!

http://images54.fotki.com/v554/photos/1/1619541/8368381/P1040609-vi.jpg

xxx

[KerryLynn]

Just remember to act like you should be there that you have every right to be where you are. And dont worry :D

[kelly1469]

I think the worst bit will be on the train (and London underground) where its crowded, and i'll prob have to sit/stand right next to someone!!

[Rianna Humble]

Lucky someone