My Son, 'My Daughter', Advice?

[latitude45]

I've been a crossdresser for many years and I enjoy the lifestyle a lot. I dress as often as I can.

Recently I was gathering the laundry and found a couple pairs of my panties in my son's room. He's 22. I'm not sure if he knows about me - but the panties were definitely mine. He could have gotten them from the laundry room or hamper, but he may have gotten them from my drawer - not sure.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can approach the conversation with him? Or for that matter, to figure out if he is into the crossdressing scene or not.

I'd love to share this side of me with him, but I also don't want to freak him out if he's not into it, or not ready to admit it yet.

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[sherri52]

Start by asking where the panties came from. You found them in his laundry. Maybe he'll come straight with you, and maybe he did know about your dressing.

[Madilyn A.]

Jennifer, Being into CD for many years, I believe you are in the best position to discover signs of CD with your son. Leave an article of clothing somewhere it will be easily found, make sure to arrange it in such a way that if moved, you will know it was disturbed. At least this might give you a better indication of your son's proclivity towards women's garments. I might do this for a week or so and maybe better the bait.
I hope this works out for both of you as the pain associated with crossdressing can be so overshadowed by the rich rewards of being a GURL !! Hope this helps..... Madilyn

[Mary Morgan]

Ask him, but be prepared for denial as well as him knowing about you. Make it clear that you have no issue with it either way. if you project confidence, you win and he wins too.

[utah beauty]

does he know you are a CD?

[Malori Cross]

I recently discovered my teen-age son is an early-stage TG. I discovered this because we occasionally IM each other (sometimes even from the same room!) for laughs or just another way to stay in touch.

To make a long story short, he came out to me this way (we still don't discuss it face to face (I was going to say "Mano to Mano" but that doesn't really apply here, does it? :O)) but we've broken the ice, so to speak.

Anyway, my point is maybe you could try e-mailing or IM'ing him to draw it out in a discussion. If he's 22, this might be quite natural to him. You could even just come out and ask, in a lighthearted way "Hey--guess what I found in your room? Can we talk?"

And I'm now wondering how common this kind of thing is. Maybe it's genetic!

[Joanne f]

In my opinion it would be just best to leave it for two reasons , first he is 22 and he may not appreciate you knowing about it, secondly it may freak him out if he finds out that they are yours as opposed to being owned by a female but i am only guessing as i do not know your family setup there .

[MarciManseau]

Boys like panties for many reasons, and most don't entail wearing them. If I were you, I'd just put them back on his bed, maybe with a few more pairs, just to see what his reaction would be.

Is it just you and him there? Could he be thinking the panties belong to his mother or sister?

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[Tamara Croft]

How do you know he actually wore them? Maybe he found them in his clean washing and put them back in the laundry for you? I don't think you should jump to conclusions that someone might be a CD'er just because you found panties in his laundry, when it could be a simple mistake. I'd air on the side of caution...

[Karren H]

He's an adult and what he likes to wear is his own business, in my humble opinion.

[Samantha_Smile]

I'd leave well alone.
Theres every chance that you will sever all communication ties with him.
I'd just make it clear in day-to-day life that youre accepting of pretty much anything that doesnt cause harm to another person. Let him know in subtle, yet, obvious ways that its okay to do what makes you happy.

Youre (probably) not into scat porno.
A lot of people are. It doesnt hurt anyone, so let them eat cake (Probably should have chosen a better euphamism)
If your son liked poo (Im not saying he does, Im just using an example that strays from societies 'norms' between consenting adults) and you made off the cuff comments like
"Thats sick those people need help", youre son would be damaged.
If you said, "Well, it's not my cup of tea, but I guess it's whateveer floats your boat" then theres a degree of acceptance there isnt there?

Im not comparing CDing to scat, just saying that many would see us as sick and in need of help.

Wheres the harm?

Live and let live, don't knock it until youve tried it!
(Again, not suggesting that anyone tries scat, just saying...)

Right, I think I need to go to the little girl's room :o:D

[Rachael Ray]

How do you know he actually wore them? Maybe he found them in his clean washing and put them back in the laundry for you? I don't think you should jump to conclusions that someone might be a CD'er just because you found panties in his laundry, when it could be a simple mistake. I'd air on the side of caution...

Good advise Tamara

[kellycan27]

He's an adult and what he likes to wear is his own business, in my humble opinion.

I am with karren on this one.. mind your own business.

[NathalieX66]

He's an adult and what he likes to wear is his own business, in my humble opinion.

Yeah, but your (lattude45) panties?
Isn't some consent needed when sharing wardrobes, particularly when it comes to intimates?

I'm all for dogs chewing up things like socks, but my socks??!!

[carolinoakland]

My two cents on the 'mind your own business and respect their privacy' is this... after cd'ing for about 20 years I came out to my mom. And she already knew, since I was a teen. I was pissed! I had spent so many years living in terror of what would happen if she ever knew, and it was all for nothing. Carol

[Kerigirl2009]

I have worried about this too, (not that I have found anything to be suspicious about)
But that being said, If I did I would definetly strike up a conversation about it in a non- threatening way. Just to let my son know he is not alone and can talk to me about anything. No matter what. Love is love.

[lavistaa62]

What sort of relationship do you have with your son otherwise- I mean is a close, nurturing sort of thing where you often talk about sensitive and personal topics? This sort of thing has to I think, have been developed slowly and not sprung on him. If you're close, I would just say, in private, that you wonder if he has anything he'd like to talk with you about. He'll probably deny knowing what you are talking about so depending on how close you are you can just ask. I'm pretty sure a GG would maybe leave a few more things around for him and see if he reacts before having the conversation but once there was a little evidence she'd just ask in a non-confrontational way.

I would have been scared s**tless about my dad- if he'd gone out of his way to indicate he would be accepting/supporting it would have relieved a lot of stress. It's hard for boys/men to relate to their dads.

[AllieSF]

How about putting notes in some of the panties so that the next time he borrows some he will see the note and know that someone else knows. To make sure you do not prematurely out yourself to your son, you may want to have your wife write the note assuming that you are married. Write something nice like "If you want to talk about this let us know." Good luck.

[Shelly Preston]

I think you should proceed with caution

You can watch out for more clues but I would not apporach him just yet

Jumping to conclusions could lead to disaster

[vivian fair]

I think I would replace the panties as I put his other garments back also. That way he should realize he has been given permission. And that is the way my parents, and finally my spouse let me know they had no problem with my desires. :o