Are you likeable?

[Kate Simmons]

I'm wondering how many consider themself a likeable person en femme but not necessarily limited to that? This is directed mostly towards those who go out and interact with others en femme. How do people react to you? Are they comfortable around you and do you have a good interchange? CDing aside, I think this is the key to success in being a people person in either mode. The reason I say this is because most folks can detect a fake or put on personality a mile away and whether we may believe it or not they watch and listen to see if we are being genuinely ourselves, accouterments notwithstanding.

I never do anything special en femme and am just basically myself. This seems to put others more at ease in my estimation and demystifies what we do in the process making us more human and approachable. It would seem to me we would want to do all we can to make others comforable so they can be themselves as well and not try to pretend being something they are not to impress others.That is the real people skill here. Being easy going and approachable make things better all the way around, doncha think?:)

[linnea]

I believe that I'm a pleasant and likeable person in either mode because I'm inherently just a friendly, empathetic, positive sort of person. In some people's estimation, I don't have "attitude," but I pretty much get along with and like most the people I meet--and they tend to reciprocate. I'm basically just doing what my mom told me throughout my rearing, "Be nice, and if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."
She was a good mom.

[Karren H]

My cat likes me enfemme! Does that count?

[jenna_woods]

I like to think I am likeablr, I am always pleasant tp people and always chat with them, I want them to be nice to me so I should be nice to them, I am always smilling which helps.

[Kate Simmons]

My cat likes me enfemme! Does that count?That's cool Karr but cats can be pretty fickle sometimes ya know.:heehee:

[sandra-leigh]

Most people seem comfortable around me when I'm dressed or gender-bending... more so than when I'm in my usual stealth. But I'm not usually a "people person"... it is difficult to overcome decades of being a social misfit. Dressing seems to either "give me an excuse" or "unlock" more interaction with people, which is something that has become more important to me overall (though I've kind of retreated that way the last 5 or so months, not been very social.)

[Daintre]

Likable, well I think I might be, well maybe that is a was used to be. When I did go out dressed I tried to always be pleasant and people seemed to accept me just fine. Today though I dress less and I suppose through life's experiences I show the world a more jaded side of me, so likable.....probably not so much. I think I put more of myself out there on line these days rather than person to person due to certain limitations.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

No! Now go away and leave me alone.<lol>

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Kathi Lake]

That's not something that I can answer. How am I to know? Yes, people say that I am likable, and are comfortable around me whether I am dressed or not. One piece of that puzzle may be that I am me when I am dressed or not. When I am Kathi, I am not someone else. I am me. Kathi is just a name for the part of me that gets dressed from the left side of the closet, and not the right.

Kathi

[danielle swenson]

My cat likes me enfemme! Does that count?

After video review.. No it doesn't count cause you are bribing her with treats!

[Wen4cd]

I have no idea? Am I?

I like me, but that only counts for half. :D

[Toni_Lynn]

Well, I'm an extremely shy person and pretty much an oddball amongst even my crossdressing peers. To a certain extent, I tend to attract others like me who also live on the island of misfit toys. And that is one thing that constantly has my wife saying, "If only they cared to know the real you, the good person inside." She says that a lot about my parents.

I have a lot of walls of defense built around me. Yep -- likable once you get to me. Oh -- and I accidentally misspelled something as I was typing that last sentence, but I have to add it anyway -- lickable -- yep -- but only by my wife :)

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Mandy Burgundy]

I'm liked more, which makes me wonder if I should do it more often.

[JenniferR771]

Quiet, shy, no social skills to speak of. But...emm...yes, maybe I am slightly more approachable when well-dressed en-femme.

[dilane]

Don't know about likeable, but people seem to remember me. Maybe there's something different about me??

One embarassing side effect of this is that people I met once some time ago will approach me and say "Hi Diane!", and I have to confess that I don't remember their name.

Problems on the cat front, though: the last scratch from one of my wild outdoor kitties is still healing.

[Karren H]

After video review.. No it doesn't count cause you are bribing her with treats!

If I had a red flag I'd throw it. That ode-de-catnip perfume works great on the cat but women and the dog don't seem to be effected...

[Sally24]

I am a little more friendly and alot more smiley as Sally. I think a genuine smile and open honest eyes make a big difference in how people set their first impressions of you. I talk to many curious straight folk in my travels and rarely get any bad responses from the public.


My cat likes me enfemme!
My wife's dog also seems to like me a little better as a girl. lol

[Andy66]

Likeable? Not in the right way...
Do hotties and generous employers like me? Noooooo.
Do children, dogs and insane people like me? Of course they do.
*sigh*

[Lorileah]

Several dogs have "liked" me, that ruins stockings though.

Everyone likes me...what?...oh yeah some people here don't care for me much...oh and the "girls" at the bar...yeah...and some other people like relatives on my mother's side...of yeah, that's right he didn't like me either....

Aw face it no one likes me, I'm gonna eat a worm

[Fab Karen]

If I had a red flag I'd throw it. That ode-de-catnip perfume works great on the cat but women and the dog don't seem to be effected...
I thought it was because you wash your wigs in tuna juice:D


Several dogs have "liked" me, that ruins stockings though.

...Aw face it no one likes me, I'm gonna eat a worm
If you wear white ones the stains won't show(?)
Don't eat it- I like your humor, so I might like you if you give me a present ( no not a worm ). :)

[sherri52]

I would like to think I'm friendly either way. The people I talk with know that I'm a man and I'm not afraid to tell them and to talk about it. I don't hide my feelings and don't try to pull the wool over thier eyes. I dress for me and thier opinion wether for or against is something that I hope is positive but I'm also not concerned with if not, unless it is constructive.

[SuzanneBender]

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and dog gone it - people like me" :heehee:

It depends on who you talk to about me in guy mode. Those who know me from work or the military know my game face mode which I would hate to work for. Although, my goofy self that loves to laugh comes through every now and then.

En femme I think the fact that I like myself more in that mode comes shining through. I would have to say I am more approachable and fun to be around en femme, but hey just ask a friend.

Wait I don't have any friends.


Aw face it no one likes me, I'm gonna eat a worm

Lori save one of those worms for me. I will share with you. Ohhh wait then that would make you a friend and I wouldn't have to eat the worm. In which case we wouldn't met over a worm and become friends. Then I would need to eat worms again at the end of the sidewalk in which case.......

OUCH THIS JUST MADE MY HEAD HURT!


Likeable? Not in the right way...
Do hotties and generous employers like me? Noooooo.
Do children, dogs and insane people like me? Of course they do.
*sigh*

If you figure out how to get hotties that are also generous employers to like you than you have become a gigalo!

Anne this one made me laugh outloud in the middle of a meeting when I read it!:heehee: Children, dogs and insane people. Tee Hee.

[msniki48]

I find that i am likeable in guy mode, and definately approachable. i tend to loose the game face as soon as the girls are around. En femme, i feel no reason to have the game face, so i feel i am more animated.

my neighbor was over for dinner last nite...and she was surprised to see niki answer the door...but my wife, sharon an i had a great time chatting....of course there was the wine....when she left she said it was sooo good to see me [niki] again

ok ok ok so maybe i have no personality....its just the booze...lol


hugs

msniki48

[Kate Simmons]

I must be missing something. I'm trying to figure out what this "game face" is everyone is referring to. Unless you mean "poker face". Hell, and I'm not even a blonde today--go figure!:heehee:

[Teri Jean]

I have been told I'm a nice person and likeable in either mode. That is why a few people don't like me but then there is no way to have everyone like you. The nice thing is the cats and dogs love me without treats but with treats you need to run for the hills. Karren you are such a goof. Luv ya dear.

Teri

[Andy66]

Anne this one made me laugh outloud in the middle of a meeting when I read it!:heehee:Oops, sorry. ...Wait a minute, why are you reading CD.com in the middle of a meeting? Slacker. :tongueout: Nevermind me, I'm just jealous I can't do the same.

Children, dogs and insane people. Tee Hee.You have no idea what a weirdo magnet I am, girlie. Maybe I need to work on my game face.

[Rogina B]

Rogina is a lot nicer than Roger. My wife often tells me that!!!:D

[SuzanneBender]

I must be missing something. I'm trying to figure out what this "game face" is everyone is referring to. Unless you mean "poker face". Hell, and I'm not even a blonde today--go figure!:heehee:

My work or teaching game face is easy Denise. Stand in front of your mirror. Now put you top lip just a tad bit under your bottom. Furrow your brows and squint and look like you are contemplating picking a heavy object up and throwing it at someone. If you can't get that part of it just act like you have to poo really bad. There you got it.

The game face is the male ritual of trying to intimidate others by simply using a facial gesture. The game face can be modified to meet the need of the current situation. The game face one uses at work is not the same game face you dawn when you daughter comes home two hours after curfew and is never the same game face you wear when playing sports.

Warning: Studies have shown that use of any version of the game face with your wife will typical result in painful removal of said face or days of chastising by said wife.

The game face typically works. However, our mothers warned us "if you keep making that face its going to stick that way". Most of the time in male mode it does. In which case you need to work on your happy face due to the warning listed above.

These opinions in no way reflect the opinions of the host or Suzanne Bender Inc and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Rebroadcast of this opinion for any other purpose than the one expressed here is highly encouraged so I am not the only one that looks half baked.

[AllieSF]

Being from the upper mid-west (which is actually further east than west) and just like the rest of my family, I am extremely extroverted when out in public when dressed which I always am, maybe as a man or as a woman. Specifically, when dressed as a woman I am a regular old (the old part is factual) Chatty Kathy. I love to interface with whomever is close to me, at the next table, in line waiting for an opening at the ladies restroom, in a store, wherever and whenever. I consider myself to be acting like me in whatever mode. However, I think that I may be pushing the envelope more when in femme mode. Reactions have been 99.999999999% positive, with only an ocasional brush off or it being obvious that I was being ignored. I love that and am always looking for my next innocent victim to get to know and talk with.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've been advised by my attorney that I shouldn't answer this question on the grounds that my testimony may tend to incriminate me.

[Alice Torn]

I am bi-polar, friendly, yet loner. I have not been around enough people out dressed up, so don't really know, in lady mode. Karren, my cats like me in either mode. They may be bi-polar, too.

[Byanca]

People tend to either hate me or love me.

[crusadergirl]

not really most ppl don't like me they just like the act i put on

[WendyH]

I'm quiet, shy, and introverted in guy mode, and possibly even more so en femme. Partially by natural inclination, but it's partially the defense system I built around myself early on to prevent people from getting close enough to learn my secret. Around people I know well, I can actually be very gregarious in either mode. My therapist once told me I seemed more calm, centered, and happy as Wendy. I guess that would translate as potentially likable, at least.

[Frédérique]

Are you likeable?

I’m pretty much the same, drab or fabulous. :battingeyelashes: I suppose I’m likable. I can think of three people on this site you could ask, but I’m not telling…:naughty


…cats can be pretty fickle sometimes ya know.

No matter HOW I’m dressed, my three cats seem to be completely unperturbed -- as long as I’m about to feed them, that is…:doh:

[Wen4cd]

I like you Freddy *hugs*

I was thinking on this, and though self-thought is usually a no-no, and causes all sorts of ick, it's seductive, so here goes, since it relates to dressing, and what we do.

I have an affect-higher side of myself that people seem to like, which expresses as 'feminine.' Naturally, being affect-based, "she" is made to relate to others.

(Or 'he,' 'it,' etc..., I only apply a gender label onto it so that I can connect with the energy easier, because she 'feels' feminine.) She relates well, so well it amazes me. She is that which casn relate to others and their experiences.

She can be liked, and appreciates being liked, but she doesn't care as much. She likes others, and 'herself' isn't on her radar, as she's outwardly focused. Her duty is to love and relate to others

I also have an intellect-higher side that people respect, maybe even admire, but do not 'like' or want to be friends with. It's not a jerk, but it does not have a clue in social things, or in relating to other livign things. it's an abstract pile of thoughts, a mess of definitions and confusing meaning, and frustrated pain. Others sometimes see it as a complex tower, something to be in awe of, but it's nothing to be proud of, it's just a confusing structure, partly made of insanity and schizophrenia. I cannot make it serve me to any useful degree.

It is incapable of being liked, it just 'is.'

I also have a 'rejected child' in me that only wants to be loved, adored, paid attention to, etc.. It is needy, and unfulfilled. It lives in the shadow mostly, and in one way, directs many of my unconscious actions towards filling its need. All it wants is to be liked.

What dressing eventually did for me, on one level, was to help build a bridge between these sides, and to show me a center between the extremes. Not sure exactly how, hehe, but I can sort of see it now.

[tess graham]

I was married for 33 yrs to a woman who hated my fem side. The irony is that whenever I put my fem side "away" she always complained that I had changed and please go back to being "myself". I feel that the best part of me, that which people like to be around, is the woman in me. I understand now that while I doubt anyone will like 'how' I am, they will like 'who' I am. As I plan on transitioning fully, that is going to have to do.

[Andy66]

I also have a 'rejected child' in me that only wants to be loved, adored, paid attention to, etc.. It is needy, and unfulfilled. It lives in the shadow mostly, and in one way, directs many of my unconscious actions towards filling its need. All it wants is to be liked.
My 'child' sends a hug to your 'child.' :bh:
We're all in this together.

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me I have found like you that just being yourself and people will accept you or like you. I have noticed that in me in both modes that people just tend to like me and I am cool with that.

[Kate Simmons]

It takes a lot of hard work to be the architect of one's own recreation. I'm sure some folks here know what I'm talking about.:)

[t-girlxsophie]

treat others as you wish to be treated.Just be yourself and you should get on just fine
I worked in TG friendly clothes shop for a while.Whenever ppl came in and saw a t-girl was behind the counter,they were taken aback,but my pleasant manner put them at ease,and I think if ppl take the time to see beyond the outer image then us girls should be ok