A birthday wish

[SuzanneBender]

My oldest daughter turned 20 on Saturday. Her and I have always had a special bond and Saturday was just proof of it. We had a small birthday party at our house Saturday AM. I had to head to the Airport Saturday afternoon and she wanted to get back to school to celebrate with her sorority sisters. The party was small just a few friends of hers and family. She blew out the candles on her cake and one of her friends asked what she wished for.

She looked at me and my wife standing across the table from her and said her wish wasn't for her. It was for me and that it was very special, secret and would make all of us happy. She has known about my dressing for years and I was unaware that her and my wife have been sharing our discussions about possible transistion.

At first I really didn't understand. I thought she had wished that all of this would just go away. I was kind of really feeling down and guilty about it. I asked her about what she had wished for as we were loading up her car to head back to school. She turned hugged me and said I know what you need. You have spent your whole life sacrificing for others; me, Mom, the kids, your Mom and Dad, family, friends, church, work and even people you don't know. What you want really isn't that big of a deal. You will still be you. No matter what you will still be my Daddy.

I broke down. That amount of acceptance and unconditional love is special.

After I gathered myself back up I told her that I love her and that I have decided nothing at this point. If I did decide to transistion life would be completely different for us as a family. She just hugged me, kissed me and told me it was a small price to pay in order to have me in their lives. I was a hot mess the rest of the day. I am meeting with a new therapist when I get back home and this is the first topic I want to cover. Thats not going to be for a couple of weeks and I am hoping that sharing this and chatting about it will help me through until then.

[Michelle I]

What a great daughter you have raised, I still have tears in my eyes.

[StaceyJane]

Wow, that is so wonderful. A few weeks ago my daughter wrote me a letter which said much the same thing. It meant so much to me.
I'm so glad you have such a supporting family.

[Faith_G]

I'm crying too...

What a great daughter you raised!

[Teri Jean]

Suzanne you have a wonderful wife and daughter. Although my daughters have not given me that level of acceptance they do know about my transition. Congratulations.

Teri

[sherri52]

You are a lucky woman Suzanne. To ahve a daughter care for you that much is very rewarding. It may have been her birthday but the celebrating is yours.

[PretzelGirl]

I shouldnt' have read that as the last message before going out. I am not surprised that you raised a daughter like that!

[Zenith]

Wow that is something to make you...:cry:

It must really make you feel special to know that whichever path is right, your family will be your family...:)

Doc A. is gonna like this story...;)

[SuzanneBender]

Thanks for all of the sweet comments. She is a very special and wonderful young lady. She has always been one of those kids that makes being a parent easy. I think she gets it from her Mom because I made my parents life heck growing up and almost took pleasure in it.

I am feeling so torn right now because of all this. I should be happy about my daughters acceptance but actually it has me in a little bit of a funk. I want transistion so bad that its almost hard to even take a breath in male mode. I look at myself in the mirror and cringe anymore because I do not see me looking back. Then I reflect on my wonderful family and all of the gifts that I have been blessed with and guilt just washes over me for not being satisfied with a great life and the love of my family.

I would curse the fact that I was born female and not a woman, but that would mean that God wouldn't have blessed me with the loved ones that I have in my life.

Trying to find something cute and cuddly to say because I don't like to be a downer, but right now I can't find the inspiration.

[Zenith]

Talk to me sis...on right now...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I am very happy for you Suzanne...and i'm happy for your family too!

You are not likely to forget this

all the best
kate

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Thanks for all of the sweet comments. She is a very special and wonderful young lady. She has always been one of those kids that makes being a parent easy.

You're a great parent, and she is a wonderful daughter. That's one of the sweetest birthday wishes ever.



I would curse the fact that I was born female and not a woman,

But YOU are a woman, I want you to remember that.


Trying to find something cute and cuddly to say because I don't like to be a downer, but right now I can't find the inspiration.

Take care of yourself, lady.

Veronica Rogers

[Veronica_Jean]

Suzanne,

I thought exactly what you are thinking now for a very long time. Today I am moving toward going full time this summer and have been on hormones since August.

Things do change, but that is how life tends to be for everyone, not just us. So enjoy all the things you have because no one says they will go away. Had you not gone down this road, they would not be there.

You have a wonderful family, and you deserve them, just as they deserve you. It is clear you have been a very positive influence in their lives and they want you to have happiness too.

Hang in there sweetie. Sometimes the impossible is so easy you just cannot believe you would ever think it was so hard.

Veronica

[Rebecca Jackson]

What a wonderful and touching story; sounds like you have a very special daughter.

I'm in the same position as you, having put the needs of my family ahead of my own, and sometimes feeling guilty for thinking how things might have been different. But I feel that I needed to be a father in order to have reached the point where I feel I'm ready to transition. Life is a journey and this is the path that was best for me and which helped me to get to this point.

Hang in there.

Rebecca

[melimelo]

Oh Suzanne! I'm so glad for you to such an open young adult as daughter. As most of the other posters, it got my eyes all wet. But that's OK: I'm home, all by myself, and nobody will see me :cry:

The reluctance you mentioned reminds me of what I felt some time ago when the barriers preventing me to transition all fell one after the other. I was so used to push and struggle against them that when they were gone, I felt kind of lost and scared... But not for long, believe it!

Take care of yourself, Suzanne!

[Andy66]

:cry: :hugs:

[Byanca]

I'm crying too...

.



I wish I could have a family when I read things like this. But I'm to far away to make that happen.

:hugs:

[CharleneT]

Oh, that is soooo sweet !!!!

That is the sort of thing that makes parenting worth the effort ;)

It sounds like you have a solid family situation and with good support. Congrats !


:hugs:

[Melissa A.]

I would curse the fact that I was born female and not a woman, but that would mean that God wouldn't have blessed me with the loved ones that I have in my life.

It's because of who you are, in every way, that you were given such a precious and beautiful experience. We weren't given the choice when it came to being trans or not, and sometimes, in my darker moments, I do wish things had been different. But then I come to my senses and snap out of it, and I realise I wouldn't give up the lives I've touched and those who have touched mine, in exactly the way it's happened, for anything. I have a best friend I never would have met, had this not been my path, and I know I can count on her anytime, for anything. I'm thankful every day for that. And I feel priveledged to have met the caliber of people I've met along the way, like yourself. All the strength and luck in the world to you, Suzanne, whatever conclusion you reach.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Sharon]

You have a wonderful daughter, Suzanne, proof of your parenting skills. I understand your funk because of all the mixed emotions, but your primary job was to provide your family with shelter, sustenance, an opportunity for education, and your set of morals, not necessarily in that order. I would say that you have been exemplary in this regard and that they have decided that the care and love that you have so freely given over the years deserves some in return. :hugs:

[Lorileah]

:hugs: Suzanne. See what happens when you raise your kids to be caring open minded individuals who know they are loved?

[Rachael Ray]

My oldest daughter turned 20 on Saturday. Her and I have always had a special bond and Saturday was just proof of it. We had a small birthday party at our house Saturday AM. I had to head to the Airport Saturday afternoon and she wanted to get back to school to celebrate with her sorority sisters. The party was small just a few friends of hers and family. She blew out the candles on her cake and one of her friends asked what she wished for.

She looked at me and my wife standing across the table from her and said her wish wasn't for her. It was for me and that it was very special, secret and would make all of us happy. She has known about my dressing for years and I was unaware that her and my wife have been sharing our discussions about possible transistion.

At first I really didn't understand. I thought she had wished that all of this would just go away. I was kind of really feeling down and guilty about it. I asked her about what she had wished for as we were loading up her car to head back to school. She turned hugged me and said I know what you need. You have spent your whole life sacrificing for others; me, Mom, the kids, your Mom and Dad, family, friends, church, work and even people you don't know. What you want really isn't that big of a deal. You will still be you. No matter what you will still be my Daddy.

I broke down. That amount of acceptance and unconditional love is special.

After I gathered myself back up I told her that I love her and that I have decided nothing at this point. If I did decide to transistion life would be completely different for us as a family. She just hugged me, kissed me and told me it was a small price to pay in order to have me in their lives. I was a hot mess the rest of the day. I am meeting with a new therapist when I get back home and this is the first topic I want to cover. Thats not going to be for a couple of weeks and I am hoping that sharing this and chatting about it will help me through until then.

Her response to you signafies the great job that you and your wife did raising her. To not be judgemental and to see poeple from within. To see their hearts. I, like the others, still have tears of joy for you in my eyes:)!

[Katie Moore]

Everything everyone else said!

Now where are the kleenex?

:love:

Katie

[Rianna Humble]

Everything everyone else said!

Now where are the kleenex?

:yt: :cry: :iagree: