Totally Busted ... in the worst way

[Dutchess]

My poor husband cd-er had a terrible experience this afternoon and is terribly embarrassed... we had a photoshoot today ,, we had been trying to get the kids OUT of the house .. when we were totally ready , I made sure the house was clear,, so I went out to check in the yard on our 8 yr old daughter playing with her female friend also her age .. we live on an island so is small and safe to do this with a pack of friends , however I went to find her and she was just gone so I thought... OMG !!!! I went nuts ,, husband in full femme, I went outside yelling for her ,,, husband now panics and goes to her room to look out her window across the street to her friends yard sure she just cannot hear me....

Then everyones worst nightmare happened, when he dashed into her room to find BOTH SHE AND HER LITTLE FRIEND Playing quietly .. both getting the full gander at husband in full femme regalia,, no one said anything lol and he turned around immediatly ,, marched to our room and slammed the door ,, terribly embarrassed ,, they still havent said anything , but I could hear his footsteps so loud and fast that I thought something even worse had gone on ,,still not knowing the girls were inside ... I told him to just forget it , our daughter knows anyway .. but he is just wigging. he calmed down eventually and we went on with our photo shoot ..he is just totally convinced the whole school will know , but I do not think so .. I was relieved she was in the house but he wanted to put a bag on his head ... I continued to check the girls as usual all afternoon and they acted normal , happy and friendly..... poor fella ,, it was my fault I got him so freaked out ...

[Miranda09]

To kids, the whole world is make believe. She probably didn't even blink an eye, tho I can imagine just how embarrased your husband was!!! Hope the photo shoot came out ok!! :) This'll make for a good laugh down the road...;)

[Dutchess]

Actually Miranda, I am glad you said it because when I realized what had happened, I did start laughing a mix of relief and wondering what my face looked like outside when I heard this frantic marching of heels across the floor headed to our room,, I thought what the heck ...actually I am alone writing this and our daughter just came in quietly and said ,, I think I caught dad in one of his dresses and she is laughing good naturedly not in a bad way ,, I asked what her friend said ,, and apparently she asked,"what was that ??" our daughter brushed it off some how ,, she is very cool,,, unconditional love there for sure ..... lol

[Miranda09]

She's a good kid...must have a pair of great parents! :)

[azcdinhose]

What a great story, 8 year olds will forget most anything anyhow. And if she went to school saying my daddy wears a dress who would believe her?? she's only 8!!! Several months ago my 15 year old son came home early to see me totally dressed too! Now that was a shock, but he seems cool with it. We talked about it and moved on.

Dutchess you are a wonderful lady for being so accepting. You're beauty is far deeper than your visual appearance!

[Samantha43]

I know how he feels. Something similar happened to me a few years ago. My wife and kids were at Grandma's house for the weekend. They did this several times a year and never came home til after 7:00 PM on Sunday. This was my time to crossdress. I would dress all weekend and take it all off at 4:00 or so in the afternoon. Well this particular Sunday I was sitting on the couch watching a movie. The next thing I know my daughter is standing next to me! It's only 1:00! OOPS!!!

She took it all in stride. My wife was mad as hell though. She forgot to call to tell me she would be early, and I forgot to tell her that I would be crossdressing. A communication breakdown. She is supportive of my hobby, but the kids were never supposed to find out.

It worked out fine though. It turns out my daughter likes my crossdressing. She's a teenager now and gives me all kinds of fashion and makeup advice. I do have to keep reminding her that I am in my 40's and not a teenager though. Junior clothes just don't work for me any more! My Son seems okay with it, but doesn't really say much about it.

[sandra-leigh]

our daughter just came in quietly and said ,, I think I caught dad in one of his dresses and she is laughing good naturedly not in a bad way

Dresses, plural?? Then she already knew about him having dresses and at least presumed that he wore them :o

[azcdinhose]

Samantha you look beautiful! Would you please ask your teenage daughter to help me too!!!!

I know how he feels. Something similar happened to me a few years ago. My wife and kids were at Grandma's house for the weekend. They did this several times a year and never came home til after 7:00 PM on Sunday. This was my time to crossdress. I would dress all weekend and take it all off at 4:00 or so in the afternoon. Well this particular Sunday I was sitting on the couch watching a movie. The next thing I know my daughter is standing next to me! It's only 1:00! OOPS!!!

She took it all in stride. My wife was mad as hell though. She forgot to call to tell me she would be early, and I forgot to tell her that I would be crossdressing. A communication breakdown. She is supportive of my hobby, but the kids were never supposed to find out.

It worked out fine though. It turns out my daughter likes my crossdressing. She's a teenager now and gives me all kinds of fashion and makeup advice. I do have to keep reminding her that I am in my 40's and not a teenager though. Junior clothes just don't work for me any more!

[sherri52]

I'm sure he'll get over it, but it is hard to think everyone on the island is going to know his secret.

[Samantha_Smile]

Poor guy.
I once got cought by my bro when I was about 15 (he would have been about 12 or 13. He had previously put one of my mum's bras on as a joke- He went downstairs and showed her... We all had a good laugh).
It was a saturday when mum n dad had gone shopping and my bruv had gone out playing with his friends, I waited untill he was well out of the street and onto the field to play some rugby.
I got FULLY dressed up, white satin bra (stuffed with my boxers), knickers and suspenders, tan stockings, my mum's LBD, some 4" heels, fancy dress blonde wig, some necklaces and bracelets, unused rings, clip on ear rings, perfume, mascara and lipstick.
I felt great, just walking round upstairs, the feeling of the hair, the hoisery and the taste of the lipstick, it was easily the sexiest Ive felt to this date. I posed infront of the mirror for a bit then
*slam*
The backdoor closed under a heavy pull.
I tore the wig, jewlery and shoes off, and heard him making a drink of cordial. I got out of the dress and hung it up neatly.

"*****, are you in???"

It was my bro, he was home. I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I'd had the foresight to close the door on my mum and dads room. He was half way up the stairs and Im in a blind panic to get the bra off. It wouldnt budge.
He looked in my room and closed the door, the bra still wasn't off.
I watched the doorknob turn...
(Now, under the pressure of the situation, I was stuck for ideas, I decided to ride it out in the onlly way I could think of. It probably wasnt the best idea but...)
... He steps into the room,

"Erm, what are you doing?" he asked

"Nothing you havent started before...", I stonefaced it looking him square in the eye.
"...Best not to tell mum n dad though eh mate?" I hoped to god I was convincing.

"So whats with the make-up then?" he had me there for a second.

"Well Ive just had mum's blonde wig on... it looked better then." This was balls on the table bravery on my part.

"Ah yeah, I see what you mean..."

Had he just said that?
I didnt care, I was going with it.

"Give me a minute to clean up and then we'll play street fighter?" I was deffinately running a long way with this.

"Yeah okay then, Im gonna get changed too, it's pissing it down outside"

Worst moment of my formative years.
We still havent spoke of it since, I reckon he thinks I have him over a barrell myself...
What he doesnt know wont hurt him :D

[Dutchess]

Thank you ladies all for those sweet compliments,, I really do appreciate them more than you would ever know .... and yes she does know he wears them but doesnt actually see them but sees his fem long bathrobes etc so thats when she asked for some info to explain that ... and the photo shoot went great ,, I posted some in the albums,, he looks like Betty Page in some of them ..

I agree Sheri,, he is just totally freaked right now , it will pass,, I dont think anyone will know really ,

Bobbie is right , they'll forget it shortly I think,, Daughter is right by us now playing a vid game before she goes to sleep,totally engrossed by her Hannah Montana fashion game.....

[giuseppina]

Children are very accepting -- until someone teaches them about prejudice and intolerance.

Don't be surprised if your daughter teases a bit. :devil:

[Andy66]

This is an 8 year old girl. She probably thinks it's fun that Daddy plays dress-up. :)

[Byanca]

My brothers kids act differently when I am at home. I dress neutral when around the grown up's. But in my room, where I spend most of my time while there, or I look after them. I dress as I please.

The oldest girl at about 7 keeps asking why I use women's clothes. And when playing she did something not decent. So I told her that this was over the limit and had to stop. Then she actually told me that I should not tell my mother, and she would not tell I dressed up. LOL, I have never told her to not say anything. But I'm slightly worried over her strong gender awareness. I dont think that's normal for kids at this age.

The boy 2 years younger have never said anything, does not seem to notice.

The girl at 4 is fascinated with my stockings, and keeps playing with my toes. Also compliment how I look. Like my shoes are very pretty. And have to hand them over, since she wants to wear them. Really sweet kid. I can sense no negative attitude. Compared to the older girl, that has usually show ridicule or negative reactions. Or just dont care, except initially, if she has not seen me for awhile.

But non of them really mind. Or have said anything evil, like I'm ugly.

No idea if they tell their parents or around at school, it's in the country. I would expect the older one to talk. But not so sure.

I've been at a loss when the older one ask why I have all these girly clothes. So I just say I need to have clothes on. She usually leaves it at that, but the question comes up regularly. Sometimes she throws a fit, and tries to pressure me if I don't want to play that she will tell grandma if I dont do as she say...this just make me smile, and I tell her to just go ahead. Has probably told her mother, and been told to keep quiet, or else how could she have come up this blackmailing.

It will be interesting to see if the younger one adapts the same judgemental attitude tendencies as the older one she grows older.

Enough babbling. But I can't see why your husband dont want to show his true self to the kids. Kids are usually prejudiced, and for me it's the most refreshing feedback I can get, if they accept me. That truly make me happy.

Besides it's good for them, to get some perspective and learn tolerance.

[Sally2005]

The only fear I would have is not so much about my own kid, but having the friend go home and say something to her parents who may not understand. I would have a story ready...like...he goofs around when its his turn to do laundry... or he was sorting out the attic and found all the old costumes...

...funny story though! I hope he's laughing with you about it now.

[vetobob9]

I recently found there is difference between a 5 year and a 15 year old. LOL.
Before I joined the military, I was experimenting with putting on women's clothing and then going for walks at night. My city was very safe back then because that was before the gangs moved in and began their attempt to seize control.
My sister sent my 6 year old neice into my room to look for a video game. Instead she found a bra and took it my sister thinking it was hers because she was the only GG in the house. When I came home, my sister asked me about it. I simply said I didn't want to talk about it and she didn't press it. (My other brother who did find a dress in my closet was not so quick to drop it though. It was like he was offended.)
I just came back from visiting at their place in Texas. My neice who is 15 did something to my thumbnail. Not sure what it is called but it made the nail shiny. She rubbed a sponge thing on it.
It turns out she's bi. But it turns out she and her has never heard of a guy wearing a dress. They were asking why guys would wear dresses or other women's clothes. She had forgotten about that incident years earlier which I think is good. Not knowing that I had restarted investing in women's clothing, she was asking if she could do my nails and eyes.

[Rogina B]

Afew weeks back I was dressing to go out.It was a combine evening as I was dropping my wife and 8 yr old daughter at the mall close to Rogina's meetup. Anyway,my daughter came into the bedroom to check my"look" and asked who I was going to be tonight..I was staring at my big tough unfeminine hands[seemed so bad at theat moment]and answered her "Shrek". She replied"you aren't green enough,better work on it" and left the room to wait impatiently elsewhere. She tells my wife"dad sure likes wearing a lot of different costumes". :)

[Dutchess]

Well it is morning and she did get up laughing ,, our older teen son has no idea what went on here yesterday lol ,, the rest of our children are wayy older both here and in the Netherlands and he is ADAMANT that his dutch children( with his previous wife )in their 20's never know about his dressing..if you knew them you would know why.no negotiations there... My husband is texting like mad from work asking what she said ,,lol then asked if i could PLEASE upload his photos to his ipod .....

She asked if he could PLEASE not dress up when her new friends were here ,, "they aren't used to it " lolol the next thing she said what that he needs to throw that blue dress in the trash - it's falling apart. I agree. She is 8 but has been all over the world due to her dual nationalities and is in those accelerated classes at school so she is a little "different" herself.she can be quite quirky and knows not to throw stones ...... Early on she told me she'd seen a program about people like dad on The Learning Channel and that she said it explained everything . I was surprised. This is also the child that will ask me if I have to help her bathe ," Exactly how long will this bath be ?? "

and yes ,, I do have an emergency story should the neighbors folks find out ,,,, we were rehearsing for a costume fundraiser at the theater on Friday.

[Nicole Erin]

She is 8 but has been all over the world due to her dual nationalities and is in those accelerated classes at school so she is a little "different" herself.she can be quite quirky and knows not to throw stones ...... Early on she told me she'd seen a program about people like dad on The Learning Channel and that she said it explained everything .

Off subject but it must be nice to have a kid who watches anything educational and the accelerated learning classes? Gyod I cant even get my kid to get off his lazy ass.

Not much makes me jealous on the forum but this kind of does.

Point is you have a good kid there. I think you all will do fine. :)

[Dutchess]

Off subject but it must be nice to have a kid who watches anything educational and the accelerated learning classes? Gyod I cant even get my kid to get off his lazy ass.

Not much makes me jealous on the forum but this kind of does.

Point is you have a good kid there. I think you all will do fine. :)

Thank you Nicole ,, I hear you :hugs::hugs: the rest of the kids had to be forced through school with a cattle prod ..... I don't know how she was born like this ...

[Jenny Beth]

Great kid there. But if she thinks the blue dress should be thrown in the trash this might be a great opportunity for her to help pick a new one. :D

[Dutchess]

LOL I never thought of that ,, but she IS Wednesday Adams in the flesh ... he'd look like Morticia with a Roxy backpack :cute: :laughing:

[Jenny Beth]

Nothing wrong with Morticia but on the other hand letting her pick the outfit she'd probably pick something Hanna Montanna would wear. :heehee: There's got to be middle ground.

[Lorileah]

Maybe I missed it, or maybe I just don't get this whole thing. The solution, plain and simple is...TELL HER. She's 8, she isn't an infant she isn't an arrogant teenager. It is the perfect time to bring this out in the open and quit making it a farce and reinforcing that it is wrong. Bite the bullet, come clean, discuss this with her before someone else tells her what a perversion it is and she thinks back to how daddy was all embarrassed and scared over it.

You teach your children to respect others, to not judge based in appearances but on actions. You teach them to accept what a person (evidently other than your family) is without deriding them or jumping to irrational conclusions. You teach your children everything they need to grow up to be responsible caring and open minded adults, then you sneak around and infer that what you are doing is wrong and a reason to keep a secret. No wonder children are confused.

You already KNOW she knows. It doesn't effect her as a child with her friends. I am sure at 8 she doesn't go around the school telling everyone her dad wears dresses. It isn't important to anyone but her and maybe her BEST friends.

Now I will get hammered by the 800 closeted parents here who say you can't tell your kids. You can. I understand wanting to protect them but what are you protecting them from? Is this such a sexual secret? If it is then dressing in the middle of the afternoon was a poor idea...just like not locking your door when you have a little afternoon delight. But if it is like so many say here "part of who you are" then you need to come out.

[Dutchess]

No ,,no ,,Lorileah ,,,it is a combination of being seen by a stranger in the house unexpectedly and him not wanting his daughter to see it .I WAS headed to lock the door ,, they must have come in very quietly while I was helping him with his make up and I just didnt hear them .

She does know and just simply does not care , someof the ladies here and I just talking about her worldy/old soul-ness at such a young age, thats all . She has been in many different places and knows people are very different everywhere .. I am with you all the way on this subject ..completely,,, some of my other kids know ,, the child we had together and my american kids I had before we met .... I say American because he does not ,, I mean FORBIDS his Dutch children with his first wife to know ..no one in that family knows at all ..

There are several Dutch ladies here as well who would agree with him .. That culture , away from the tourism part of it in Amsterdam , is not what people think it is , and it stays with him .conservative, shameing, cover it up, make fun of.Hide it ( whatever "IT" is )or lose your family and friends, completely,period , and there , that family/friend circle is everything,, hard to explain unless you know someone intimately from there. He didnt dress at all during his first 13 year marriage out of fear alone.. I am all for being himself around whoever , but he is the one not comfortable with it ,, not she and I ....

and , of course I know she isnt going to go around telling everyone at school ... thats what I was trying to tell him ..

just the whole scene played out like some sort of comedy ,,some of us inside , some of us outside ,each unaware of the other , a man in a dress , a woman in a nightgown running around the yard ,, and yet the last teen at home has no clue anything even went on around here lol .. it's all good .......

As far as dressing in the afternoon,, with his work schedule , sometimes that's all he can do.

Really Lorileah , you bring up what SHE herself brings up ,,why DOES he hide it like that , she has asked me that many times.. It is a cultural thing in our case,,I can't force him,, that's why I did take it upon myself to explain it to her and my other kids that he raised because I dont like hiding like that .. we all adore him ,, it doesnt matter ...... as for the neighbor kid ,, you know I can only do so much before I cross another parents boundaries....

[Lorileah]

Tell me Dutchess :). That danged conservative northern Europe attitude. Ya bin dere fer sure. :) But now you have ruined my fantasy of the lowlands :( Whats left now...the Riviera isn't open minded too? Drat....guess that leaves Britain, the people here from the Isles seem open minded :)

[carolinoakland]

Maybe I missed it, or maybe I just don't get this whole thing. The solution, plain and simple is...TELL HER. She's 8, she isn't an infant she isn't an arrogant teenager. It is the perfect time to bring this out in the open and quit making it a farce and reinforcing that it is wrong. Bite the bullet, come clean, discuss this with her before someone else tells her what a perversion it is and she thinks back to how daddy was all embarrassed and scared over it.

You teach your children to respect others, to not judge based in appearances but on actions. You teach them to accept what a person (evidently other than your family) is without deriding them or jumping to irrational conclusions. You teach your children everything they need to grow up to be responsible caring and open minded adults, then you sneak around and infer that what you are doing is wrong and a reason to keep a secret. No wonder children are confused.

You already KNOW she knows. It doesn't effect her as a child with her friends. I am sure at 8 she doesn't go around the school telling everyone her dad wears dresses. It isn't important to anyone but her and maybe her BEST friends.

Now I will get hammered by the 800 closeted parents here who say you can't tell your kids. You can. I understand wanting to protect them but what are you protecting them from? Is this such a sexual secret? If it is then dressing in the middle of the afternoon was a poor idea...just like not locking your door when you have a little afternoon delight. But if it is like so many say here "part of who you are" then you need to come out.

I agree here, but each person has to live with their choices. My daughter was told by her mom when she was six in an attempt to alienate me. Didn't work, but she DID out me to a friend trying to show off...But teen's are diferent, they are worried about being unique with out being diferent. And it's not what they think about this that matters, it's what they think they're friends will think about HER. I finally came out to my daughter as a TS and started to tell her and she said " But, I allready heard this..."

I said..."Yes, but you never heard it from ME. And you've never heard about it from a place of anger...." She does go hot and cold about me, but she love's me and I know it, and THAT is what will get us through it all... Carol

[Dutchess]

Tell me Dutchess :). That danged conservative northern Europe attitude. Ya bin dere fer sure. :) But now you have ruined my fantasy of the lowlands :( Whats left now...the Riviera isn't open minded too? Drat....guess that leaves Britain, the people here from the Isles seem open minded :)

:daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreaming:LOL No way ,, I'll meet you at the Riviera !! and be glad of it ...... :daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreamin g:France os one of the places Dutchie has a job he can go to that I would REALLY like to go to that is just right by that region ....

However,,, you are absolutely right about the UK'ers sure seem to be wayyyyy more relaxed about this than other places ,, I have an old friend in Cheltenham and Dutch an old rugby friend in Liverpool, neither of then know about this ,but are extremely cool folks..

[Lorileah]

she said " But, I allready heard this..."

I said..."Yes, but you never heard it from ME. And you've never heard about it from a place of anger...." She does go hot and cold about me, but she love's me and I know it, and THAT is what will get us through it all... Carol

Awesome Carol! And the point well made. All the whispers, innuendos and underhanded attempts against us holds nothing to the light we bring by saying it ourselves. It can't be a weapon if we don't allow it to be. What child doesn't run hot and cold on their parents? They never agree with everything you do :)

Dutchess the Riviera it is then. But let me get a base tan first don't want to blind everyone. :) Is your hubby an international spy? :) Don't answer that you would have to shoot me

[Nicole Erin]

Thank you Nicole ,, I hear you :hugs::hugs: the rest of the kids had to be forced through school with a cattle prod ..... I don't know how she was born like this ...

Cattle prod. And I just KNOW in Texas it would not be out of the question haha :devil:

Kidding aside, OK I dont feel so bad.

With your daughter and her friend seeing your husband dressed. Well just make sure she is raised without prejudice and such. It can be hard with outside influences, as we know, kids get harder to protect the older they get. I think I would be more concerned about the daughter's friend than your daughter having seen.

[Christina Horton]

Hay. I don't have kids or a wife or a girl friend at the moment. But I think you both should sit down with all your kids and have a chat and let them ask questions. But like I said I don't have kids. I would like to think that I would tell me kids very early cuz I would be dressing at home from the time they would be born. But I am out to everybody I care about so if my next door apt dwellers know (and they do if they see me in the hall(and they do) when I am dressed) then so what. I think the way she responds to this will show her that being "caught" by someone unexpectedly is not the worst thing in the world. I think the worst thing in the world is to NOT do what you want and need to do , Like being who we are inside. Going out dressed as women as we do is not JUST to go out and "play" dress up like some people think we do. We do it to BE the real person we are , even if it's only for a few hours a day week month year. If you just say "oh I have time" sooner rather then later you find that you missed your chance to be yourself.

You are a great , Wonderful wife to be so ok with her being herself , you little girl is a testament of what great parents you two are. Congrats hun.

Oh is your wife/hubby on this site too.If so whats her name here. Thanks for the story is was funny and scary too. Have fun and be safe .

[Rogina B]

I don't think it helps to have a big sitdown about the whys of dressing to young kids. You like to dressup and look pretty,mommy likes it too and you go out and have fun and enjoy it....enough said. And with most kids,if it is ok with Mom,it is ok with them! A sitdown talk might stick in their minds and become"news" to tell their friends and teachers.lol Last year when my then 7 yr old daughter was asked at school about family hobbies,she told them that her Dad collects tights and has lots and lots of them!! :D

[lavistaa62]

Dutchess, you are an amazing woman. Incidently the only time I have been "caught" was in my early teens and by a dutch (as in from there but expat) woman. She kind of put her fingers to her mouth and turned and left. That was that; still friends with the family 30 years later.

[Dutchess]

Cattle prod. And I just KNOW in Texas it would not be out of the question haha :devil:

Oh you know it !!:tongueout



You are a great , Wonderful wife to be so ok with her being herself , you little girl is a testament of what great parents you two are. Congrats hun.

Oh is your wife/hubby on this site too.If so whats her name here. Thanks for the story is was funny and scary too. Have fun and be safe .

I first told it to show Dutchie he was not alone in having a very awkward moment but these compliments really boost my self confidence too,, help me to help him ,,, but really they are so kind I dont know whether to blush ,cry or both lol ..... no he is only here thru me,, he is one of the shyest people I have ever known but I always encourage everyone to say hey to him so one day he may get brave ... thats the only reason why I don't join the FAB group because I respect the privacy rule there.


Last year when my then 7 yr old daughter was asked at school about family hobbies,she told them that her Dad collects tights and has lots and lots of them!! :D

This is just plain hilarious ,, I think she and our daughter must be related somehow .....


Dutchess, you are an amazing woman. Incidently the only time I have been "caught" was in my early teens and by a dutch (as in from there but expat) woman. She kind of put her fingers to her mouth and turned and left. That was that

Thank you Lavista ,, alot of you here know I have been really seriously ill for some years ..it will remain chronic , I can live with it but not without some difficulty so really ,,in the grand scheme of things ,, this is no big deal. There are so many other things that really could be bad .. he is my lover ,companion and friend and it is just who he is. You brought up something interesting there ,,, I personally think his mom knows and as being old school "Dutch" has simply made it go away like you are saying.. once he was almost caught as a child and hid her clothes under his bed .. when the coast was clear again to return them, they were gone .. neither of them has ever said a word to the other ..

[kimdl93]

probably not a big deal. I agree that most kids are living in their own world...dad in a dress might not register. You could ask about it later...in a very casual way. its possible she knows more than you realize!