I Use Deodorant and Don't Have Bad Breathe

[Sandy Banks]

I have yet to meet up with another crossdresser.....I've tried, in both places I live. After contacting each other through e-mails, they say they'd like to meet and then I never hear back from any of them. I know not being into the "bar scene" handicaps me. What gives???? Any suggestions???? I'm still waiting to find someone to tie the back of my unused corset...........

[Kate Simmons]

Welcome to the real world Hon. As much as they like to talk about it many of these gals are squeamish wall flowers. As the old saying goes:'Faint heart never won fair maiden" or in this case: "Faint heart never made new friends." The only real way to make friends is to get out there and mingle.:)

[Karren H]

I've met a few local girls to dress up and a few to have lunch with.... But I've been stood up too... I think a lot of people talk the talk but don't want to walk the walk! Lol. Or they chicken out.. Any way you go... missing an appointment is just rude...

[Sandy Banks]

I agree Karren! And Denise if there's no one out there to mingle with, how can you mingle???

[Nicole Erin]

It can be hard.

I think a lot of TG make plans to meet knowing quite well it isn't gonna actually happen. I have been guilty of it :o Not cause I am nervous but usually I am too lazy to get dressed up.

Just the best thing maybe find out if there are any TG groups in your area.

See thing is - it is cool to meet other TG's but then you find out they don't have that much more in common so you get bored.

With TG gatherings though, some are kind of an "all welcome" thing where you feel like you are part of the group. The group I visit now and then is like that - welcoming, fun, kicked back
But some groups are cliquish, and you might feel like an outsider. I did have that experience with some different group around here. I went one time and pretty much felt like an outsider. No one really talked to me except the creepy tranny chaser that runs the thing. Those B's can kiss my butt.

[Kate Simmons]

I agree Karren! And Denise if there's no one out there to mingle with, how can you mingle???I was mostly talking to those who stood you up Hon.:)

[Karren H]

Actually Dana Flemming stood me up in Evansville Ind.... Some lame excuse that Huricane Katrina was coming our way!! Hahaha. But I forgive her!!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

See thing is - it is cool to meet other TG's but then you find out they don't have that much more in common so you get bored.

With TG gatherings though, some are kind of an "all welcome" thing where you feel like you are part of the group. The group I visit now and then is like that - welcoming, fun, kicked back
But some groups are cliquish, and you might feel like an outsider. I did have that experience with some different group around here. I went one time and pretty much felt like an outsider. No one really talked to me except the creepy tranny chaser that runs the thing. Those B's can kiss my butt.

this was actually my big issue with the T*Party here in columbus hosted by urnotalone. It was cool to be out for the first time but eventually I got bored because I was much younger than everyone else and didn't have much in common with them except being dressed up. And even when I'd try to make some common ground I couldn't break into any conversations cause it was so cliquey. The only people who really talked to me were two girls also out for the first time.

I've been to two of them and left bored both times. Had much more fun going out with gg friends.

[Josie M]

Can you find a crossdresser support group in your area?

[Kathi Lake]

Sandy, what, exactly are you looking for? You say that you would like someone to "tie you into your corset." That's kind of an intimate activity, and if that's how you describe your encounters, that may be a reason. Just my opinion.

Kathi

[Brooke Smith]

Sandy, what, exactly are you looking for? You say that you would like someone to "tie you into your corset." That's kind of an intimate activity, and if that's how you describe your encounters, that may be a reason. Just my opinion.

Kathi

You could be right Kathi. On the other hand that lead-in might attract as many as it would scare off. It could be worse.

Try finding friends with similar interests beyond cross dressing when you don't do the bars and for reasons beyond your control (pick any number of reasons here;family,job,etc.)you have to remain closeted.

Then add to the mix you're honest about your age and your experience in public, and the friend pool shrinks dramatically.

Hang in there Sandy, I feel your pain.

[Rachael Ray]

Sandy, what, exactly are you looking for? You say that you would like someone to "tie you into your corset." That's kind of an intimate activity, and if that's how you describe your encounters, that may be a reason. Just my opinion.

Kathi

I agree......You might want to start with a local TG group in your area......

[Bowmanls2]

Next time you are in Indiana let me know and I can assure you that you will not be "Stood up".

[Crysten]

Congratulations!! I guess. And I just took my monthly shower. Well, "shower" is what I call it - I just roll around in the leaves in the yard for an hour or two.

:):):):):):):)


Welcome to the real world Hon. As much as they like to talk about it many of these gals are squeamish wall flowers. As the old saying goes:'Faint heart never won fair maiden" or in this case: "Faint heart never made new friends." The only real way to make friends is to get out there and mingle.:)

Yes I've been to Squeamish, it's a great town. Lotta wall flowers there. The town of Mingle, however......not so many wall flowers. :):):)

PS. Who puts flowers on walls, anyhow??? :daydreaming:

[JenniferR771]

North coast? Where is that? Scroll down a few inches Sandy. See where it says "Meeting Place" ? Drop by often and you will spot others from your state. And sometimes from your exact city. Enjoy

[holly42fl]

Hi Sandy
Don't give up. We have all been stood up for various reasons. Find girls and groups that that are what you want. First decide if you want an intimate friend or just a girl friend to share being a girl with. Then go for it.
holly

[sherri52]

Check for the local tri-ess meetings. They usually meet once a month and go out to eat, shop, or for coffee after the meets

[Karren H]

Check for the local tri-ess meetings. They usually meet once a month and go out to eat, shop, or for coffee after the meets

They probably wouldn't be into doing each others corsets... Wink wink! :D

[Nicole Erin]

Sandy I am guessing you are early 30's? Probably about mine and JiveTurkey's age?

That is one thing I forgot - often the girls that go to TG groups are older.
It is not a problem except anyone of any group relates best with their own peers.

If you did check out some of the GLBT clubs it would probably be a better bet for meeting girls our age. Only problem with the younger girl, I will say 30 and younger, is they don't usually have their heads on straight just yet.

When I was like 24 and trying to meet others like me, I certainly was able at the clubs but they kind of scared me.

[msniki48]

I agree Karren! And Denise if there's no one out there to mingle with, how can you mingle???


are there any support groups in your area? also i just got involved with meetup.com....all sorts of activities. i was looking for riders.[motorcycle] found several groups....there were also Transgendered , or Cd...etc. just hit the search with your Zip code...

might help

hugs


msniki48

[jenna_woods]

every thing you say is true, I have only met 5 in ten years,

[Sandy Banks]

I've looked into the support groups in my area and they all seem to be older couples and I go it alone too much already........:sad:

[linnea]

The world can be a lonely place, and people can be rude and inconsiderate about meeting. Keep trying.

[Jilmac]

Sandy, Perhaps a good place to find other TGs would be a local Tri Ess chapter, that is if you have one close to where you live. Another possibility would be through the LGBT community. There might be a local website for both in your area so give it a try. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Good luck girl, here's hoping you find a good TG friend.

[johnboy23]

Where are you located? I'll meet with you. Talk to me on aim or yahoo if you have it let me know and I'll send you my screen names so we can talk more.

[Tina L.]

i agree it's tough meeting other cd's. i am going to try to attend
a tri-ess meeting in the spring. i have been invited so i will see what happens.

[Shelby]

I have been asked by some of the girls on here that live nearby if I would like to meet up with them and to be honest I would, but for me it is the nerves and other issues.

First, our mental state. Some of us are just getting used to stepping out beyond our private doors. To go out amongest people is scary. I know there is strength in numbers but try telling that to the brain.

Second, our appearance. As long as we know who we are, we are convinced that what we see in the mirror is a guy in women's clothes and makeup. There are number of cder's here who clearly pass yet can't convince themselves that they do.

Third, and this may seem mean. But what if you do summon the courage to go out and meet another gal and lets just say she isn't passing and is drawing attention - to both of you. Again, this may sound mean, but we are trying blend in and what if someone's efforts aren't quite up to the same level. Worse yet, what if I'm the one not at the same level as the person I'm meeting. My worst fear would be to go out with Jillian, Monika or Julie Zenith. These gals all pass with flying colors and then there is me. The last thing I would want to do is draw attention and it spill over to them and people realize that I am a cder so they must also be cders right?

Stepping out to meet someone is my goal, and this is all very personal. In some ways I like that know one other then all of you know about Shelby, but I would love to visit a Tri-ess meeting, I would love to meet some of my Minnesota girls for a drink or shopping. But it still scares the crap out of me at this point.

So be patient and become friends with someone online first. When they are ready, they will tell you.

[Joanie_Shakti]

I have yet to meet up with another crossdresser.....I've tried, in both places I live. After contacting each other through e-mails, they say they'd like to meet and then I never hear back from any of them. I know not being into the "bar scene" handicaps me. What gives???? Any suggestions???? I'm still waiting to find someone to tie the back of my unused corset...........

I think that's just the way the online meeting scene goes. I just talked to a GG friend today that was telling me about her latest online dating experience. Most of the guys she rejects without corresponding with but she found a guy that looked interesting. She talked to him on the phone and a few days later, he emailed asking for her phone number, though he had already called her. After a couple attempts of trying to meet him in person but their schedules not working out and he not calling when he said he would, they were to meet today, with him calling Friday to finalize details. He didn't call until this afternoon. My friend had had enough and told him to forget it, "a gentleman calls when he says he will."

I have no interest in meeting other CDs and live in a small, Isolated community, so the online dating scene for meeting GGs is slim. My friend lives in the San Diego area, so there are plenty of wolves sniffing about there, but still can't meet quality guys. (Though I feel it's because I'm supposed to be the one :daydreaming:)

After being online for over 10 years, I have little trust in meeting people who I've known first in cyberspace.