what way do i go!??

[stacypinks]

iv been dressing ever since i was young, first it was purley for sexual reasons but as iv grown older (in my md 30s) iv found myself doing it more and more..just because..i enjoy it.
i was single for a long time before i met my current partner & thought everything was going well, but im getting more and more urges to dress, not just dress, but wax, pluck, and powder everything!
Im due to marrie next year & buy a house, i know that when i do dressing will become difficult..i guess what im saying is...theres a big part of me that wants the stable "normal" life, but equally i just want to be fem...more and more, do i leave my "normal" life behind or try and stifle these urges?

[Karren H]

Either way you go there's going to be some part of you that isn't happy... Why not talk to your mate-to-be and see if you can possible blend both together. Better now than to try after your married.

[ReineD]

You can try to stifle the urges to dress, but they will come back even stronger than before.

Does your fiancee know about Stacy? If she doesn't it could account for your increased urges, if you feel you need to take advantage of moments when you are alone. If you go into the marriage without her knowing, it will only get worse. And eventually she will sense your secret, or that there is something between you, and she will imagine all sorts of scenarios that are not correct.

If your fiancee does not know, please tell her soon. I know that you risk losing her, but if she cannot come to terms with the CDing now, imagine how difficult it will be for the two of you to deal with this after your lives have become enmeshed. Chances are that she will be accepting, and if she becomes involved with the CDing it will be easier for you to achieve a level of balance with it (if you are not TS).

Please read these posts:

How To Tell Your Partner (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=205772&postcount=1)

Now I Like It, Now I Don't (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=191346&postcount=1)

[Stephanie Miller]

Like Karen said - talk to her. I'd do it BEFORE the marriage because if it's turns out to be a deal breaker when it arises after (and there's a huge chance it will come up later) your married and bought a house...... well let's just say you were very nice to buy your "ex" a new house! ( Think of all the shoes the down payment alone would have paid for :eek: )

If you talk now and she approves :dance: then your bride will have a better understanding of why the need for larger closets in the new house!

[nikki_cd05]

I was in the same situation as you are right now. Here is my advice to you. Tell her now. As you are figuring out, "it" does not go away. I got married and did not tell her. Keeping your clothes in a box in your office just does not cut it as you get older. I am 39 now and have finally realized that this is "who" I am and that I can ignore it and live a life of quiet desperation or embrace it and enjoy myself.
nikki

[sherri52]

Try instead to join the two. Tell you SO before you get married and see where it leads

[NatieBe]

B4!!! it well be alot easier now then later...Good Luck:D

[Ruth]

Stacy, unless you are very very unusual, these urges are with you for life, so you had better work out now how you want to spend the rest of your life. The urges will be there whether you indulge them or stifle them
I suggest you talk to your fiancee before you tie the knot.

[Kate Simmons]

You have to choose Hon. As Scotty used to say to Kirk: "Any way we look at it we're in for a mighty rough ride Cap'n.":)

[SuzanneBender]

Its like being bitten by a warewolf. Ok a well dressed warewolf with taste, but.....

You may be able to hid it for awhile, but the urge will hit and there is no fighting it. Too bad we don't get breasts and bigger hips when the moon is full!

Talk with her about it. This is a part of you. If you wan't the stable normal life you need to share it with someone that accepts this about you.

[Erica2Sweet]

There's lots of good advise here already. Talking to your SO now is surely wiser than waiting until later, or potentially worse yet, waiting until you get caught.

Should you decide to wait until after the wedding, don't be surprised when you do have the talk, the words "mistrust" and "betrayal" come up in the conversation.