I have a problem

[ChelseaChels]

I have a problem. I am very stress and am unable to do what is fun for me that is crossdressing. The biggest problem besides not having a clothes is the environment I live in. I still live at home until the end of the school year when I graduate. My three brothers are the worst when it comes to anything dealing with privacy and my problems. I really don't know what to do because I'm kinda trapped. I really don't have friends to go to about this kinda of problem and I have nowhere to go. If anyone has any idea it would really help.

[marcia pisch]

You have to be patient. This is not something you need to rush. When you get you own place then you are free to buy and wear whatever you want. Just hang in there, you have your whole life ahead of you.

[Alice Torn]

I know that must be hard, having to wait, when every fibre of your being, in a fog, wants to experiment!!! Sometimes, we just have to wait, and occupy ourselves, with different hobbies, pursuits, helping other persons, and animals. Think on this! I am 55, no girlfriend, have not dated in years, still a virgin!!!! Talk about having to wait, and being put on hold!!! 55 years! Crossdressing can be harmfully addictive, just like any other habit, if we don't keep things under control. I first dressed in my sisters and mom's things, about 14 yrs old, and had to really hide it. I think my parents were on to it, because they suggest i go to a psychiatrist. It is so very hard to be patient, and wait, but, you will have a future time, to do it. Just get into other stuff, in the meantime. There is a hell of a lot more, to life, than crossdressing! If i had to choose between my two cats, and all my women's things, it would be a little hard, but, i would keep my cats.

[AKAMichelle]

You will make it. Keep focusing on your graduation and that job that you will get. It may be tough for awhile, but eventually you will be free at last.

[sherri52]

Sorry Chelsea: Most of us here have been through similar circumstances. You'll have to wait for the right moments until you move out. If you have any secret getaway spots, you could leave some clothes there.

[Sally2005]

Many many many years ago when I was at home, it was the same. You just have to focus your energy on becoming self reliant and move out. Then you can have some privacy. If I were to do it over again, if possible I would makes friends with some accepting GGs and go over to their place to dress up...not sure how to do it though, maybe join a club or take up a traditional female hobbie to socialize.

[Julogden]

As others have said, patience is required in your current situation. I know how hard that can be, I've been there.

Hang in there!
Carol

[Sarah Doepner]

It's probably not in the cards to change the way your brothers behave so you may just need to be patient. Use your free time and the computer to try and find a local support group. That may be your ticket to a safe, supportive place. Your brothers may need to be a few years more mature before you can count on them to help with this kind of problem. Do what you can to let them know how you stand on showing respect for people who appear to be different. It may not change their minds, but it may plant a seed for the future.

In the meantime we will be here to talk to. Hang in there Sis, a lot of us have been in similar situations and here we are today.

[sterling12]

In The Meantime.....while your waiting to graduate, work on A Plan! If you really desire to experiment and explore your Trans Identity, you'll need to get things worked out.

So, your going to graduate? (OK, from what? University, High School, Barber College?) If you don't have a job, how are you going to move out? If your going to move out, how can you assure your privacy after you do? What are your goals? What do you need to do to get you to your goals, and what kind of time frame do you want to use? And, there are about a million more questions. It's called: "Becoming an adult, and dealing with life."

So, work on That Plan! The time will pass a lot quicker, and you will be focused enough to get where you want to go, in The Minimal Amount of time.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[DonnaT]

I had 4 brothers. We shared two rooms. There were no doors on the rooms. Yet I found time to dress. I kept my things under the mattress.

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with Donna. Where there is a will there is always a way.:)

[lavistaa62]

Number one way to do what you want is to be self-supporting and education == job or at least a better chance of one. So focusing on your studies is my recommendation. When you're out on your own, in your own room or apartment you can do whatever the hell you want. Have you seen if there are local CD groups or clubs? That might be a way to get some 'relief' and of course to network among understanding folks who may become good friends.

[Ericka2]

I guess by now, you know that what you going thru is part of what we are, until people become more open minded about our situation, in the meantime, hang in there, I remember when I was at home it was very difficult since my dad is the "macho" type and still is, I guess he is the reason I don't come out in the open, wait, I didn't know that! anyways,

Love Ericka

[Frédérique]

I have a problem. I am very stress and am unable to do what is fun for me that is crossdressing. The biggest problem besides not having a clothes is the environment I live in.

If you really want to do something, you will find the time and space to do it. A teacher told me that a long time ago. This gets me thinking, because I’m avoiding working on something I need to work on – you don’t suppose I’m not finding the time because I really don’t want to do this thing, do you? There may be something to that…:thinking:

Anyway, you need to be patient and think about what you will be doing in the future. As far as obtaining clothes is concerned, use your creativity and build yourself a little “collection” one piece at a time – you’ll look back on these things with fondness someday…

Welcome to the site, Chelsea. Stick around awhile – you’ll learn something about yourself…:hugs:

[Hope]

Yup, living at home SUCKS.

There is not a lot that can be done about that.

About the only thing you can do is find a means of protecting your privacy. Buy a metal tool box and put a lock on it. Sure, your parents will think that is where you are keeping your drugs, and it will become the focus of attention until your brothers get it open... but that will keep them from looking elsewhere for your stash - after all - whatever it is that you are hiding MUST be in the tool box right?

In any case, by fall when you head off to college, the living at home nightmare will be behind you.

In the mean time, some of the other suggestions you have received are really good - occupy your time and your thoughts on plans for the future.

[Danica_7]

I'm in a very similar situation.Although i've already got a diploma and im currently working in my field.

Its really,really hard. Its going to be more difficult depending on how deep your trans-identity is.
Today,i checked out the local LGBT center downtown and learned about one of the support groups. I plan on going.

There should be something similar in your neck of the woods, see if theres something around. But, if thats too much and your fine with waiting, then you may have to.

If you have a car, hide your clothes in there.Thats where i keep my things stashed, including everything ,purse,makeup,shoes and whatnot in a stash in my trunk. That way, nobody can find my things.

if your looking for a place to dress up and get out, if you pass, you can change somewhere in your car in a dark area. I've done this, its not impossible to explore while your living at home. IT just makes things WAY HARDER.

[giuseppina]

You could kick a doorstop under your bedroom door or ask for a lock on same. :devil:

[Katesback]

There are support groups in your area. There are also likely GSA (Gay straight alliance groups) at your school. You can choose to get involved and learn and grow. You actually can do things to evolve even though at the moment you might feel you cant.

I would link you to some local services but I dont know what city you live in so you are going to have to seek out these services.

One of the biggest problems within our community is dreaming but not doing.

See you can dream and think about things forever but the truth is that until you do it it never is going to happen. Sitting in your hourse you can dream about having friends or you can get out a do whatever it takes to make friends.

It is your choice.

Katie

[NicoleScott]

It's hard to be patient, but be patient. And don't do anything out of desperation to dress that might compromise your education/employment opportunities. Future freedoms may require current sacrifices, or at least patience. In the meantime, look for and take advantage of dressup opportunities.

[ChelseaChels]

It's great to see so many understanding people, thanks for the support and being kind to me. It is very helpful. As everyone said I just need to be patient and that I must work on. Thanks

[kimdl93]

I know we older members tend to counsel patience - but trust us - we've learned from experience. I would not want you to have a bad experience by keeping clothes stashed at home. its better to really be patient and enjoy the freedom of self expression when you have a place of your own. And, even better, when you have a relationship with someone who supports your self expression.