What was the most important thing I did in transition?

[Katesback]

This question comes my way all too often from TS gals that are in or beginning transiton. They ask me what was the most significant thing I ever did in transition.

I usually like to throw the question back at them and ask what they think it is. Often SRS is the first choice, sometimes FFS, and then there are some other answers.

Are ya thinking? Well I can tell you that the most significant thing I ever did in transition (and also the best bang for the buck) was changing my name legally!

Yes changing my name was the most important thing I ever did! Why? Changing your name opens the door to opportunity. Getting a job is easier if the name matches the presentation, having changed your name sends the message to those that know your situation that you ARE serious.

Second to the name change is getting a job with the new presentation! Yes that in itself is VERY important. This might just mean transfering to a different location but the point is that if you start a job where nobody knew the person from before it is priceless. It does not really matter so much that they might know you are trans, just that they didnt know the person from before!

Third was being active in the community. Getting out and being active in the general world is the ONLY way to learn and develop as the person you are becomming (in the eyes of the world). Joining clubs, making friends, volunteering, ect. It all is VERY important. Note I did not mention hanging with other trans people. This is a very touchey subject but the truth is that if you get into a click of people that are just like you and at the same evolutionary level, you arent very likely to evolve much yourself. The old concept comes to mind that if you want to get good at a game or sporting event you have to play people that are far better than you. The general world, is where you should concentrate your time, trial by fire baby!!!

SRS and FFS fall in an order after these. If I had to choose one over the other I would say that FFS is the best big money most TS girls will ever spend!!!!!

Katie

[GypsyKaren]

I agree with you about the name change, it was actually a bigger moment for me than the SRS. It's hard to explain, but for me it really set everything in motion that led me to Thailand and where I am in life today, and it finally made me feel "real" after calling myself Karen since I was 14...hard to explain.

Karen :g2:

[SirTrey]

Yeah, the name change was huge for Me, too....I remember thinking to Myself how much it just solidified who I am....A lot of your identity IS tied up in your name...When I think, who am I? The answer is "I'm Trey"...therefore, it really IS a pivotal moment when you legally become who you already know you are...and it forces others to accept who you are, too....Just something about making it legal, you know? I do have to say, though, going on T was extremely pivotal, too...just in a different way....It released Me from the shell I was forced to live in for so long and let the real ME come to the forefront so that people could actually SEE Me....Two incredibly life affirming things, but very different...and both were extremely important to Me in My transition...:2c::drink:

[Katesback]

Crap I totally forgot hormones. Soo true. Somewhere in the list I would put the hormones. They would certainly be ahead in importance comparred to surgery but as stated the name change is the number one.

[SuzanneBender]

Give me three or four more years and hopefully I can let you know my most important. If I had to look in my crystal ball and venture a guess it will be my friendships with ladies that have gone before me.

[AllieSF]

Though I am not destined for transition, a very good TS friend of mine who was transitioning brought home to me how inportant that name change was for her. It was not for work, but rather the first legally documented milestone that would ger her a big and glorious "F" marked on her drivers license. It was legal recognition of her change.

[Frances]

I have not changed my name yet, but since I am transitionning on the job, it is not much of an issue.

Being a hairy beast much closer to my primate cousins than most, laser and electrolysis was a huge thing.

The other very important aspect for me was getting out and socializing as well. Basically existing as a female person in society, and well before being full-time. It readied me for the permanent social change. I have seen too many people doing all the preperation (SRS, hormones, etc.) without overcoming fears of being trans-identified in public. Some even got breast augmentation and SRS to find out they were too scared to go out of their apartment to get milk.

[Katesback]

The F on my birth certificate and license was nice but ya know it really didnt change my life in any great way. I now have two pasports, one from before SRS and the other after. The old one has holes punched in it to make it invalid but needless to say the picture looks about the same. The name is the same as the new one. Come to think about it the only difference is this very small F in place of an M.

[GypsyKaren]

I liked getting the "F" on my documents at first, but it stopped being such a deal after awhile, I got used to living as the real me real fast instead.

KS :g1:

[Teri Jean]

There are a lot of moments we each can say was our most important moment and for me was the moment when I sat in front of my family doctor and said I think I'm transgender and is there help I can get. Everything since has been milestones and bench marks but the first moment was the biggest step. JMO

Teri

[SirTrey]

I agree with everyone here about the document change thing....that was another milestone for Me, obviously....Getting that "M" on My driver's license was huge...It's almost ironic that the State of Ohio has just THIS YEAR changed our licenses to pink...and not just pink...pink on pink....The woman at the DMV told Me that almost every man asks if it's possible to get a different color (it's not), so I AM in good company...but, pink or not, it's says male...and that was also huge. SO many milestones. And I have another one coming up soon....not telling what, though.....:D

[pamela_a]

For me the most important thing I've ever done is to accept who I am and start the journey. Seeing a therapist for the first time was a real life changer.
Since that day less than a year ago I've passed many milestones but for me starting was the most difficult and important step

[Sharon]

The most important thing I did in transitioning is sticking with it in those first days and weeks; it would have been so easy a few times to just not continue. But in a more "un-obtuse" example, the legal name change and document updating was huge for me; it was suddenly very real that I was who I always knew I was in the heart.

[Nigella]

There has been no one thing that has been important to me during my journey. Each step taken has been in response to who I am and each step has been as important as the one before it and as important as the next step.

[Carole Cross]

The most important thing for me was coming out to my family early on in my transition, their support has made my transition so much easier. :)

[Georgia_Grayce]

Basically existing as a female person in society, and well before being full-time. It readied me for the permanent social change. I have seen too many people doing all the preperation (SRS, hormones, etc.) without overcoming fears of being trans-identified in public. Some even got breast augmentation and SRS to find out they were too scared to go out of their apartment to get milk.

I would think this might be the case said someone had not gone to therapy or lived as a woman before transitioning. I would assume (not having been through any transition yet myself) that living as any T socially would be very important to the emotional success of any said individual. I can hardly grip the fears those would have to endure and overcome...or transition back ughh.

The name and identity does seem like the most important IMO. I have lived as an alias most my life cause i'm third gen name, meaning, i am the 3rd George but go by Joshua all my life. When others even call me this name I get confused even though it is my birth name. I've thought for years to change this and even attempted once...although never did. After 9/11 identity identification became difficult in the state I was living after loosing my only ID. None the less that is over and I look forward to new changes.