I got caught!

[Karen7cd]

My sister-inlaw has been great helping out with makeup and style.
Well she turned on me yesterday. I gave her a call to see if she wanted lunch. She said no, (turns out my wife was having lunch with her already).
I said ok I'm going to the Good Will catch up with you later. Went to GW, picked out a hot peach top and left. The GG there were great!
I went out and my car was gone. I looked around, and was getting ready to 911 when my cell phone rang, I took it out of my purse (was in full makeup tight jeans and sexy top showing lots of cleavage) and it was my wife. She asked so where are you? I said just leaving the GW (so glad I'm truthful) she said having trouble finding your car walking around like a DRAG QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She started yelling, screaming and drove off, ( I spotted her car 50 yards away). It took me about an hour to find my car, (Those 4 inch heels make it a little tough walking). Once in my car I stripped my top, bra, corset, and tape off, put on a tee shirt I happened to have, and used wet wipes to remove my makeup. With out nail polish remover I ripped off my glue-on-nails, (and they looked so pretty!!!) Nothing I could do about my heels and went home. I prayed she would not be there. In 10 minutes I gathered every bit of my girl stuff, bagged it , boxed it and got rid of it.
She did not come home till about 4 hours later, said nothing to me.
About 11:30 when I was sure she was a sleep I went to bed. She told me I have to talk to the head of my church, that she told him everything.
This is a guy I have known for 15 years, and play basketball with.

So now I sit all drabbed out. No more being pretty, no more feeling hair on my shoulders and neck, no more feeling and smelling the soft deep red lipstick on my lips. I am straight, I have never wanted a guy, I love women too much.
Since I started dressing my only interest in women other then my wife is to be friends, talk about outfit selection, how to get my makeup right, I just want to be a girl with them. I have found I am nicer then I use to be to woman. I'm not fresh, I don't make obscene comments anymore. I have become more sympathetic to women. I do not cheat on my wife. I only want to satisfy her any way she wants. This I have expressed to her.

Part of my reason for dressing is I look pretty good. My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible. For me to look upon another woman lustfully is sinful. So I'm a bit narcissistic.

Love and huggs to you all
Karen

[MJ]

Part of my reason for dressing is I look pretty good. My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible. For me to look upon another woman lustfully is sinful. So I'm a bit narcissistic.




Here we go again you say you look good but your wonderful wife's body looks terrible what a horrible thing to say about your wife....:Angry3:

how come you did not tell your wife about your dressing ? and what were you thinking asking your wife's sister to help you.

now your wife as all the ammo she need for a divorce. whats worse your church friend or friends know about you.

so what now are you going to be honest and tell the truth or find more lies to cover up your truth.. in turn will come back to bite you in the ass later ?

[Kimmy55]

Ouch,That hurts! I have no advice to offer other than maybe you should have come out to her years ago and not had someone else tell her about you.As far as talking to the head of your church,I see no reason for that to have been thrown at you.

[Being Paige]

OMG, not that it is funny but I'm LMAO! I can so totaly relate to this. My wife knows that I dress but she never knew that I went out in public. She said it would kill her if someone she knew saw me while out. Well I use to sneek out at night after she fell a sleep and go out and walk to the local g/l bar, have a few drinks, chat to the people there and then walk home. Everything was great, for months even longer, then one night I'm walking down the street and she is standing on the front porch. Long story short, she got over it, I was stuck in the house for like ever, now I go out during the day while she is at work! I'm a dead CD. LOL :devil:

Paige

[Andy66]

My point of view:
Dressing is not wrong.
Deceiving your wife is wrong, and it probably hurt her feelings.
She probably reacted that way partly because she doesn't understand crossdressing much.
Not your church leader's business, but there's a chance he might actually help you here. Depends how sympathetic he is.
Good luck with that.

[sherri52]

I'm sorry you got outed, but apparently you should have told your wife some time ago. It is always better, not good but better to tell early in a relationship. I wish you well with your cituation. I hope your wife is involved with some discussions.

[AllieSF]

Good comments Anne. I am not clear if your wife knew beforehand or not. I do understand that your sister-in-law did know. Did she out you to her sister? If she did, then she is definitely not trustworthy at all and she should know that from you. irregardless who she revealed it to. Trust is to be treasured not abused. You knew the risks before all this happened and made your decision how to proceed.

My only recommendation is to be very truthful to your wife and cautiously truthful to your minister until you get a much better read on how he will keep your secret and how understanding he is about this side of your life. I definitely would explain to your wife that crossdressing is not something that can be put back in a box and locked away. It will be there forever and the urge to dress will vary over time with some surges when least expected. So, whether she likes it or not, she needs to understand what you are dealing with and be ready to talk about it as a mature and reasonable adult. If she decides to put her head in the sand, that is an immature and non-supporting approach to resolving a very serious and important relationship issue that can be resolved. Good, direct, open and, most important of all, two-way communication over the long haul is the only way to move forward. I wish you the best of luck and maybe, if you can trust the minister, he can be a good intermediary for you.

[Natasha TG]

OMG, I am so sorry to hear your situation. The typical response to this would be "coulda-shoulda-woulda", but this is not going to help you now.

Definetly this was not a good idea to tell your wife's sister before your wife. I know you needed someone to come out to and someone to confide in, but this should have been your wife out of respect.

And the fact that you have actually been out enfemme is definetly raising the bar - now maybe you were planning to come out to your wife, but some serious damage control repair is in order now she knows the worse way.

Oh and I agree with MJ on this one, saying your wife has a bad looking body is really disrespectful to your wife.

I hope things go well for you and your wife:straightface:

[Loni]

hope things go good for you.
i told my wife early on and a devorce came about.

tried to even let her know before we got maried..but water down the river.

[victoriamwilliams1]

All I can say is WOW! The real wrong part was the moving of the car even though 2 wrongs do not make a right.

[msbrownskinned]

Here we go again you say you look good but your wonderful wife's body looks terrible what a horrible thing to say about your wife....:Angry3:

how come you did not tell your wife about your dressing ? and what were you thinking asking your wife's sister to help you.

now your wife as all the ammo she need for a divorce. whats worse your church friend or friends know about you.

so what now are you going to be honest and tell the truth or find more lies to cover up your truth.. in turn will come back to bite you in the ass later ?

Just because it's terrible doesnt mean it isnt true. Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they dont like it.

I agree with everything else you said though.

Honesty from the start is the best way to avoid these situations.

[MJ]

Just because it's terrible doesn't mean it isn't true. Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they don't like it.
I agree with everything else you said though.

Honesty from the start is the best way to avoid these situations.

A Fat Wife YOU say :straightface: time and body's change I'm sorry but to me it's the womans heart and mind and soul. beauty changes i would rather have someone who is a great conversationalist because when we grow old i can appreciate her.

[Lorileah]

Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they dont like it.



ohoh, shouldn't a said that. *hides from flying barbs that are sure to come*


Since I had to say that I'll finish.'

First I hope the GW got your stuff, after all they were awful nice to you.

Sorry that had to happen Karen. You have been admonished enough so will let that all go with, is better clear the brush than to fight the fire.

It was wrong to take the car. It really shows that both of you probably need to talk a bit. The screaming at you about looking like a drag queen was over the line also. Maybe with a little communication you can work it out and alleviate the misconceptions that come with dressing. Explaining this early is a lot easier than trying to break through the wall you now are encountering (see paragraph above).

You know the end of this story. It is most likely that you will start dressing again to some extent. You will go back to hiding and lying if you don't nip it in the bud right now. It isn't a bad thing and somehow you must convince your wife of that. It is only bad if you make it so. The blame game won't work. When you say I only did this because she was no longer attractive is a cop out.

So now is the time to try and talk it out. Hopefully with time and care you will both be happy

[angpai30]

I'm sorry to hear what happened and I hope that things go well for you. As of right now though you do have to start planning on how you are going to tell you're minister and maybe set up a couple, couples therapy sessions?

Hannah~~

[JamieOH]

noone wants a spouse with Congestive Heart Failure either.. or diabetes... or COPD.. My wife has gone through all that.. She is amazingly strong... She is a plus sized woman, wears a size 24.. She is my world... She is beautiful... She is not very approving of my dressing, though she is tolerant, and allows me to wear femme sleepwear to bed... Would I like for her to look like Jennifer Love Hewitt? naaa, I want her to look like her, though I wish I had a magic wand that could make ME look like Jennifer Love Hewitt(temporarily, when I want)... I couldn't say enough good about her.. I do not resent or regret any part of her or our relationship. She is everything, and the moon and stars..

[Sally2005]

Gee, I think an attitude adjustment is required...first you need to comfortable with who you are. Then your reasons for not telling her is just that you needed to try it on your own. You need to feel no shame and treat it like a minor thing. With the minister, I would just ask him what is bothering your wife and not admit you did anything wrong, because you didn't. She was in the wrong, so she needs to understand that...tell her she is the only one that has caused you a problem so far. Maybe too late, but the way you reacted with her should be to fill her in on the experience and just tell her sorry for surprise...and never trust a sister-in-law unless your wife already knows...all kinds of issues with that!

Keep in mind, I'm not out, but my wife has gone out with me on halloween so it wouldn't be too far of a stretch. I think she would laugh and then be concerned that it means more than it does. Mostly, I would be more concerned about other people knowing and being misunderstood. Goodluck.

[Holly]

I hope your wife is equally upset with her sister, as she helped you in the deception. As for your wife's reaction, seriously, what did you expect? A box of candy? I'd say the two of you have some serious communication issues to work out. Good luck.

[PetiteDuality]

I think it's not fair to judge the sister in law. She is between two persons she loves, and I think that maybe she felt guilty about hiding this from her sister. I thinks she owes more loyalty to the sister than to the brother in law.

Saying that you crossdress because your wife is fat is very immature. You crossdress because this is who you are. It's your decision, not your wife's fault. Do you know how could this make her feel if she ever reads, or how could it make feel some other GG reading this forum in search for support and understanding about her SO's crossdressing?

Lusting about yourself, watching porn or lusting about other women is about the same, if you are worried about sinning...

[Karen7cd]

She knew I dressed. I'm always watching her put on makeup and asking questions about it. When she caught me I was wearing all her clothes!
Therapy might be the best course of action. Thanks for the help and chastising
where I need it. For now anything I had is purged. I have dressed off and on for over 40 years. She has seen me dressed in the house before. Mostly she just said I don't like it. This time I decided to try and look good, never had a wig, or makeup on before the last few months.
Thanks again,
Karen

[lavistaa62]

Anger and surprise does not excuse or justify vengeful acts. You hid your behaviour from your wife but in my view she had no justification other than spite to strand you or out you to your church or anyone else. Standing behind the church is just as wrong in my eyes as wrapping yourself in the flag or any other social institution. I had an ex wife who acted like this and it manifested itself in many situations and is a situation I am VERY glad to be rid of. On the other hand, if you are going to dress, tell your SO. Sooner or later they'll find out and it will not be good even if they handle it with the maturity and discretion that loved ones deserve.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Just because it's terrible doesnt mean it isnt true. Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they dont like it.

I agree with everything else you said though.

Honesty from the start is the best way to avoid these situations.

Its a good thing you are not the representative that has been chosen to speak on everyone else's behalf.

I know several people who prefer heavier women over any other. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Think of how you might feel if i had come in here and said... "Everyone hates being seen with a girl who needs to eat a sandwich". Its simply not a true statement.

As for the OP, well you certainly have your work cut out for you here. I have always stated that being truthful upfront is a very good policy to uphold. Your experience is another reason why I keep saying it.

Good luck to you

Zarabeth

[linnea]

This seems to me to be a sad situation all the way around. You can do something about most of it, and others can too. So try to get some open communication going; don't dwell on the past and avoid the blame-game. I think that you best hope is to move ahead (accepting responsibility for what is yours) and trying to build a better relationship.

[bethany356]

:sb:
@Msbrownedskinned
As a "fat wife", I think your comment was very rude... We don't know her medical history, or how old she is... Or even if she would truely be considered fat... It's his perception of her...

Which leads me to another thing, if you think your wife is getting fat, why don't you offer to work out with her, or maybe offer to cook and make something healthier... and if it is a medical condition, then shame on you!

What she did was pretty messed up, but you prolly should have brought it up to her before hand. It sounds like you have other issues you need to work out... Good Luck!

**Gets off soapbox**

[Staci G]

I agree with some of the things being said here but, my question is what gave her the right to tell the preacher or anyone outside of the marriage about anything that goes on in their relationship without the consent of Karen? I am afraid I would have taken my girl things and packed up. I don't think, seeing as she already knew about the crossdressing she had the right to suddenly humiliate Karen like that. Everyone seems to be concerned about the feelings of the wife? Where were her concerns for Karen when she hid his car? Karen I am sorry you purged your things but if you can find them I would sure go looking.

[Dutchess]

All I can say is WOW! The real wrong part was the moving of the car even though 2 wrongs do not make a right.

This is true ,,nothing here went right on either end ,,like a domino effect ... Her actions begat your comments. Even though you ve been doing this for 40 years it seems like others have said that there isnt enough communication/closeness going on between you ,,and you know this lifestyle requires it if your SO is going to know about it ..

the Fat wife comment lol ,, that poster is only 21 ... ahh to be young and know everything once again .......:daydreaming::daydreaming:

[Tracii G]

First off you should have told her,you were bound to get caught sooner or later at least that part is over.
Educate her is the next step find all the info you can on GID.
The fat wife statement was very wrong.I'm sure she looks fine.
A womans body does change over the years and there are very beautiful large size women.
I'm sorry this happened and I hope you can work it all out.

[Renee2Fun]

Shoulda's-coulda's-woulda's all over the place in this posting be careful not to step in any of them!

If only we all knew what really goes on between two people. I've been married 3 times and the third time is and was the charm. It took me years of hiding who I was before I could begin a new way of being in a relationship by talking about my crossdressing. Even then it took several years (and $ debt) seeing a psychiatrist to insure my own personal sanity. Thank God I'm only a crossdresser! :battingeyelashes:

I did what I needed to do for ME to be able to find a loving supportive relationship. Had I not done the personal work of self analysis I would not have been able to love both me and another person at the same time. Gee! it only took 40+ years of life-lessons to get there!

Here is my psycho-babble... :bighug:

Our what-if's always rule our "monkey minds" so until you personally can calm those conversations down in your head it's challenging to follow your heart...

My only advice is to Talk, to Listen, to Ask for Clarity. Then ask if they have anything to say, Listen, Listen, Listen. Then ask yourself... How can I have compassion for their needs? Equally important is how can I ask for their compassion for my needs. Then wait, do nothing, sit with your "monkey minds" swinging from doubt to worry... then wait some more before you both make a kind and loving decision on how to move forward in life... together or individually ... just not in reverse.

Good Luck!
:love:

[Alice Torn]

I feel for you. Some ministers will be quite harsh on cding. Some, may be more liberal, and compassionate. I would be extremely humiliated if the church i have attended knew!!! Because cding is considered perversion. But "getting caught" cding, should not be more shameful, than getting "caught' stealing, adultery, porn, or other things.

[Vicki-Z]

I think I'm going to duck and sit this one out. :eek:

Vicki :hugs:

[Shelly67]

This not a scolding nor a guilt trip , it's all I can consider relative to what I've read so far .....
Seems theres an awful sense of anger in you . To be totally straight - what did you expect ? Both yourself and sister in law have been very deceitful after all . I bet you're wifes in bits . We all react when cornered , even if it's our own wrong doing .But in light of this maybe you should consider what you wish people to read in this time of hurt , before posting things on here in angst too ? It's not really dealing with the problem bringing up you're partners physical shape is it ? Spite and guilt is always a temptation to spread when we are hurting , our fight or flight reactions alerted but it's not productive is it ? I hope what you've read has'nt offended you ...but it is certainly the truth is'nt it ? We can certainly at times be rather blinkered and selfish as people , (and this'll prolly go down like a lead balloon -and I'm not directing this at you ) but SOME crossdressers are far more selfish and self centred than most sheltered by they're own sanctuary and ignorance of the enjoyment in the act of crossdressing . We all need to see that . Perhaps if you could put yourself in her shoes then things would be a little clearer , most people on here ( I don't mean to patronise I'm not in the delicate situation you are ) can see , or at least imagine both of you're situations and points of view. You both need help . Maybe the church in a moment of confession and compassionate councelling could help you . I am not religious , but we all need someone to talk to . Perhaps you should let the dust settle , if it were me I'd go see you're minister together , be totally honest ,ask for confidetiality then inform you're wife that you may wish to take a break from it all ? It's only my pennies worth , but perhaps you both need time out apart from each other alone to truely discover how you feel . I think you both must at least let things calm down , before moving on ?

Time to think of each other .
Good luck

[vetobob9]

Ouch,That hurts! I have no advice to offer other than maybe you should have come out to her years ago and not had someone else tell her about you.As far as talking to the head of your church,I see no reason for that to have been thrown at you.

I think I have an idea. She's using the church as a weapon. Something the church itself frowns upon.

But we really don't know what the pastor is going to say until you've seen him. After all, you've known him for a while.

[Honey]

I wasn't going to post for a number of reasons, I'm fairly new, and everyone else had said what I was going to say.

Having said that, the part that really upset was when you said your wife is fat!

I'm sorry, but even if she was a size 90 that's not something you should say about your wife. My wife is not a classic 16 or under, but you know what? I wouldn't trade her for all the girls in the world that are smaller than her, or even get my dream of waking up one morning myself and being a girl. I love my wife regardless of size, it wasn't an issue when we got together, nor now.

Your wife had already seen you dressed, so why didn't you sit her down and find out some boundaries that could of worked, like not in the same suburb, or whatever. Also I feel for your wife as she probably found out through her sister, imagine the betrayal that she's feeling if her own sister knows more than her.

I think some couples therapy is the way to go, I don't think purging will help, as eventually you will likely start getting more items, and because of this current experience you may try and hide it more..

I guess I'm really lucky that my wife supports me, even though I've only gone out once, it was with my wife's blessings.

Therapy, and really you shouldn't have to talk to the minister unless you want to, but if he's also a friend, then maybe it's a good place, especially if you are working towards keeping the relationship with your wife.

Either way, good luck, you've got nothing to lose by trying counselling with your wife.

[tinalynn]

I'd like to say I'm sorry and offer hope. They clearly don't communicate. I have to agree with Staci - Karen needs to start looking for the purged items. And when they're found, start looking for a good divorce lawyer. I bet wifey already is...

[Marcie4you]

Personally, when My ex left, it was the happiest day of my life! Now, I could be ME!

[Karen7cd]

Ok, My wife's weight has to with her eating way to much and improper foods. She has
had her weight down before, but now eats lots of comfort foods that are high in calories
but low in nutrition. I am deeply worried about her health, there is type 2 diabetes in her family. I offer to work with her, in very constructive ways. I have made a in home gym. I cook good well balanced meals, which she eats and then a bag of heath bars. She does workout, I offer to work with her, I already am working with my children,
teaching them correct techniques, I'm trying to make it a family thing we all do together.
thanks for all the comments,
Karen

[Charlena]

Eating comfort foods often could be a sign of depression? Please talk to each other. I have had the best luck with thinking about what is about to come out of my mouth, rather than reactionary comments. Good luck to both of you. I loved my wife at a size 7 (age 17) size 22 (after two beautiful babies), and at size 16 now. She is a beautiful woman and always has been.

[Crysten]

Well my original post was deleted from this thread - and for good reason. My apologies if any of you read it. This kind of thing makes me VERY upset - that people treat each other like this.

Best of luck and I hope you and your wife work things out.

[jaynee.dee]

My sister-inlaw has been great helping out with makeup and style.
Well she turned on me yesterday....

I'm sorry folks but I am having a very hard time taking this post seriously. With all due respect, if this did indeed happen and with all the other posts you have put up, I think you should start seeing a counselor ESPECIALLY if you have kids. If not...this forum is not a place for acting out fantasy scenarios. If I am offending you or anyone, I am sorry, but the post just doesn't ring true.

[Crysten]

I'm sorry folks but I am having a very hard time taking this post seriously. With all due respect, if this did indeed happen and with all the other posts you have put up, I think you should start seeing a counselor ESPECIALLY if you have kids. If not...this forum is not a place for acting out fantasy scenarios. If I am offending you or anyone, I am sorry, but the post just doesn't ring true.

Now that you mention it - it does sound kind of suspicious, doesn't it. Wife not in the know (or totally unsupportive) and yet, you find A LOT of time to spend with your sister-in-law (must be a lot of time if she's helping with makeup etc)? And are going out shopping fully dressed? There's a lot of holes in this story. Not sure I believe it either. If this is true, well, I guess you had it coming.

[Tamara Croft]

Part of my reason for dressing is I look pretty good.Bit of an ego there eh? I could be really nasty, but I won't, not like you are about your wife!


My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible. For me to look upon another woman lustfully is sinful. So I'm a bit narcissistic.I actually was feeling quite sorry you were going through all that until I read this :Angry3: Who the hell do you think you are coming here slamming your wife like that? Maybe she is sick and tired of being the way she is and maybe she doesn't want to do anything about it, because you make her feel like something you've scraped off your shoe!!! You aren't narcissistic, you're an ass, pure and simple. IMHO, what your wife did to do you, made you feel so low you threw all your stuff away, you've probably been doing to her for a long time about her weight

I've read some of your other 'stories'... (threads)... I'm calling :BS:


Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they dont like it.As for this comment, pretty sure you've made so many friends here now :Angry3: What a nasty thing to say. :thumbsdn:

[Ze]

Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of reading GF bashing. The icing on the cake is when it's topped with woe-is-me purposes.

"My wife is fat and disgusting. Nobody in their right mind would want her. I look way better than her en femme. Why oh why doesn't she accept me?"

:straightface:

[Jason+]

[B][I]Thank God I'm only a crossdresser! :battingeyelashes:

...you both make a kind and loving decision on how to move forward in life... together or individually ... just not in reverse.

Renee, thank you for two bright spots in an otherwise just hateful situation all around.

Karen, I hope you, your wife and the rest of your family can do just as Renee has suggested.

[Shelly67]

Bit of an ego there eh? I could be really nasty, but I won't, not like you are about your wife!

I actually was feeling quite sorry you were going through all that until I read this :Angry3: Who the hell do you think you are coming here slamming your wife like that? Maybe she is sick and tired of being the way she is and maybe she doesn't want to do anything about it, because you make her feel like something you've scraped off your shoe!!! You aren't narcissistic, you're an ass, pure and simple. IMHO, what your wife did to do you, made you feel so low you threw all your stuff away, you've probably been doing to her for a long time about her weight

I've read some of your other 'stories'... (threads)... I'm calling :BS:

As for this comment, pretty sure you've made so many friends here now :Angry3: What a nasty thing to say. :thumbsdn:

Go on girl - you say it like it is !!!

[Holly]

Love is not a measure of a person's size... it's a measure of their heart. The OP is measuring the wrong thing :sad:.

[SheriM]

Karen,
Today is the first time that I have read your post and all the responses. I am a little surprised at the admonishing and lack of compassion from this forum.
I feel for you. It is not our place to judge you. It is extremely unfortunate that your wife decided to embarrase you by moving the car as well as spilling the beans to the clergy. I'm sure that you are scared to death. Hopefully, the clergy will be professional and not broadcast your cding to the public.
Right now you have one primary subject to address - I'm assuming that you do not want to dissolve the marriage. Hopefully after your wife calms down a little, she will be ready to look at this with an open mind and forgive you and for you to forgive her for outing you. I'm not saying that what you did was wrong but in her mind, something is certainly wrong. All I can say is good luck and let us know how this all comes out.
SheriM

[danielle.cd]

the only thing im seeing wrong about all this, to my understanding u were already dressing and going out and about so that wasnt the big issue the big issue was that your wife didnt know, well when u were on the phone dont u think she saw u if u saw her, so why did u strip it all off and throw it away she already seen u, plus if she went to the church it would seem like shes playing tatletale instead of talking to u first, any how you made the mistake of not telling her first as to being rude about her weight well i think u got some butt kissin to do and suck it up its part of u just like her weight is part of her

[Tamara Croft]

I am a little surprised at the admonishing and lack of compassion from this forum.Really? He comes here calling his wife overweight and that he looks better than her... but you want some of us to show the :censor: some compassion? give me a freaking break :Angry3: You are only hearing one side of the argument and the wife 'does' know had you read any of the other posts, but doesn't like it. That doesn't give him the right to come here and slag off the wife... and yes I say 'him', because only a jerk like that would be so nasty about their wife!

[Nicole Erin]

If there are not kids involved and no property or huge bills to split, I say get out of the marriage while it will still be easiest. Someone said you are 21. I doubt you guys have anything you could really fight for in court so you can't lose much if anything. Even if it means having to cut some losses, get out now. If your wife is putting on weight, it probably won't stop at 15 extra pounds.
Plus, the bigger problem, if she is gonna act like this about you being TG, she isn't gonna start accepting, she will be wanting to put up boundries, and of course you will get insultedover it each time a fight starts.

And listen, for telling people you are TG, don't ever think people will not gossip. The only ones who would keep that a secret are other TGs and that is cause they are either in the closet or they are full time TS who have miraculously forgotten they are still genetically male and once lived as men.
Nether category of TG wants to be outed.


Karen,
Today is the first time that I have read your post and all the responses. I am a little surprised at the admonishing and lack of compassion from this forum.


Well, anytime on this forum that a GG gets bashed in any ways shape or form, people are gonna freak out.

See as a general rule, it is OK for a TG to be given a hard time but we are not suppose to do it back. :brolleyes:

People think I have it in for GG's, not the case. I will say this - I would trust a GG faster than some TG. You would not believe how often some of the TG here will pounce on their own TG sisters.

[SheriM]

Take it easy Tamera,
This gurl is in a world of hurt right now. His life could be turned upside down to the point he could have to move to another town/state. I really feel for his/her situation. Maybe a little more tact could have been used but I think that he was trying to be open, I think he was groping for answers while posting. If I read between the lines, he loves his wife.
Sheri

[Tamara Croft]

Take it easy Tamera,
This gurl is in a world of hurt right now. His life could be turned upside down to the point he could have to move to another town/state. I really feel for his/her situation. Maybe a little more tact could have been used but I think that he was trying to be open, I think he was groping for answers while posting. If I read between the lines, he loves his wife.
SheriI would have had all the sympathy in the world for this person had he not ended it with slagging off the wife and letting us know how much more beautiful as a woman he is than her... so bite me :thumbsdn:

[Rachel Morley]

My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible.


Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they don't like it.

:eek: WTF! ... I think you guys should concentrate on "the quality of the wine inside, not the shape of the bottle it comes in!" :thumbsdn:

[MJ]

:eek: WTF! ... I think you guys should concentrate on "the quality of the wine inside, not the shape of the bottle it comes in!" :thumbsdn:

well said

[Sandra]

If I read between the lines, he loves his wife.
Sheri

Really well it's a funny way of showing that by having a go at his wife's weight, and by saying he's a better looking woman than she is...yeah right we only have his opinion on that. :Angry3:


And some of you wonder why your SOs don't want anything to do with your cding, is there any wonder!!

[AmandaM]

so bite me :thumbsdn:

:rofl:

[Presh GG]

Nicole Erin,
Is you answer for Everything Divorce ??????????
Crazy !

Ladies , pick apart the posts , this isn't real.

Presh GG

[Sheila]

Just because it's terrible doesnt mean it isnt true. Nobody wants a fat wife. Maybe they'll tolerate it. But they dont like it.


Really then why did Debs marry me last Oct ............... grow up

To the op you are damn lucky your wife only hid the car ............. I wouldda had some one tow it home ...........

Some people need to remove the Rose colored glasses they wear when they look at themselves when dressed and use the same eyesight they do when looking at the partners in a negative light :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

[Being Paige]

wow , this kind of got carried away!

I was always told if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it.

always sounded like good advice to me! :2c:

[RADER]

People come in all sizes. Not every one can be a size 2. with that
said, I believe that beauty starts behind the eye balls. It is what
is her head, not on her shape that should attract you. An old saying
I have herd before; "You mary her Irish Temper, Not Her Red Hair"
Just my 2 cents worth. Rader

[Lorileah]

Well, anytime on this forum that a GG gets bashed in any ways shape or form, people are gonna freak out.

See as a general rule, it is OK for a TG to be given a hard time but we are not suppose to do it back. :brolleyes:



Hmm...seems I have missed all this. I seem to remember more posts that say something like "You should tell your wife to accept this or you are gone." or "Your wife should take you for what you are and suck it up" or "How could she even THINK to react that way (after she found your porn and the guy you hid under the bed while you were dressed up last time)"

I think the majority of time the CD gets the sympathy. But maybe I don't read all the posts?

Welcome Paige, but you will see that usually the way it works is in the sage wisdom of the movie Roadhouse "Be nice until it is time to not be nice"

[2b.Lauren]

Wow, lots of comments and information. Karen, I am wondering if you can imagine the betrayal your wife is feeling to find out that her own sister has been helping you keep this little secret. So what happened between you and the S-I-L to make her rat you out? You say she knew you dressed did she have some rules in place that you also might have abused, maybe like don't involve my sister? :eek: I guess my big question is what were you thinking to turn to her sister to help you dress, if she was cool with you dressing in the first place? Blood is very thick and that was a huge problem just waiting to unfold on you and catch you up. Not too smart on your end. The next big mistake you made was to bash your wife. You won't get any support or help on this forum taking that stance. The others that made the same critcal mistake to join you, also opened themselves up for whatever they got/get. You got caught and to minimize it with a negative comment about your wife is not going to change that. If you are all that concerned about her health issues I am sure you could show it in a better way. My wife is very thin and has made many negative comments about my own weight, but when she did/does it, I can assure you the affects of the comment never fostered a positive attitude about myself or my desire to become healthier/loosing weight! Weight or not there is no way in hell I can in my happiest dream ever think I would look better than her, if that is your thoughts then you have a great deal of delusional problems to work on. Yet slamming her in here or other places is just wrong. The whole post got deluded because you chose to deflect your own guilt, and take shots at her. We stopped being able to help you because another innocent GG has been slammed by her CD husband because he was just plain to much of a wuss to be honest! So what do you do now, speak to your friend the pastor, get her involved in the conversation? Why purge when she already knows what is going on? I mean she already knows! What is that going to fix. You can now openly have a dialogue with her about your dressing and maybe work towards some resolution. Yet the resentment and attitude that you have jumping to deflection towards her is more of a message that you are so far over your head now that you have little chance of fixing all of this mess.

[JamieOH]

If there are not kids involved and no property or huge bills to split, I say get out of the marriage while it will still be easiest. Someone said you are 21. I doubt you guys have anything you could really fight for in court so you can't lose much if anything. Even if it means having to cut some losses, get out now. If your wife is putting on weight, it probably won't stop at 15 extra pounds.
Plus, the bigger problem, if she is gonna act like this about you being TG, she isn't gonna start accepting, she will be wanting to put up boundries, and of course you will get insultedover it each time a fight starts.

And listen, for telling people you are TG, don't ever think people will not gossip. The only ones who would keep that a secret are other TGs and that is cause they are either in the closet or they are full time TS who have miraculously forgotten they are still genetically male and once lived as men.
Nether category of TG wants to be outed.



Well, anytime on this forum that a GG gets bashed in any ways shape or form, people are gonna freak out.

See as a general rule, it is OK for a TG to be given a hard time but we are not suppose to do it back. :brolleyes:

People think I have it in for GG's, not the case. I will say this - I would trust a GG faster than some TG. You would not believe how often some of the TG here will pounce on their own TG sisters.


You are the most ignorant self absorbed person I have had the displeasure to meet on a forum. To hear you, his wife is a fat pig bitch who will only get worse, and he should run for the hills. Forget about the fact that she was lied to and that he went out dressed after promising her that he was never going to do it again.. Regardless of what you think, the whole world doesnt understand this. I myself am just coming to terms with what I am.. Yes, WHAT, not WHO.. I know who I am.. But what that means as to the "Label driven society" is another ball game.. I can't expect my wife to understand this as much or more than I do, when I lied to her, and kept it secret for over 15 years.. think about it.. As far as his wife is concerned, this was some fetish that he supposedly stopped doing. Now, as to reality, I believe this is a trolling post. to get everyone riled up, but you did a much better job than the troll did.. so congrats..

[frederica13]

Pastors can be oddly sympathetic. However, I'd quit the church if it gets too awkward or if you'll never gain acceptance. As the member of a previously troubled marriage, divorce is not the end of the world. You probably won't ever be over this even with therapy. The best you'll ever get is control but you'll never enjoy anything else quite like this. If your wife can't accept it, I say move on to find someone who can. Just make sure to tell the next person you date before you get married. Having a fat wife doesn't excuse crossdressing but it does equate on some level. Your wife was displeased with your physical appearance as you are with hers. Obesity and crossdressing are a choice so I wouldn't feel too guilty there.

Karen I'd like to give you a kudos for keeping your cool despite all the mud slinging going on in here. No one here knows your wife so I don't really see why we should care if you're honest.

[ReineD]

Karen I'd like to give you a kudos for keeping your cool despite all the mud slinging going on in here. No one here knows your wife so I don't really see why we should care if you're honest.

Just to let you know, on most days there are more anonymous visitors to this site than there are members who are logged in. Some of them are wives who perhaps have just found out their husbands CD.

A post such as the OP's does not give a good first impression of what TGs are all about. But, the majority of responses in this thread will redress any potential misinterpretations. :)

[scarlet]

Better to be thought a fool,#@%^$, then to say something and remove all doubt. Wow I hope your wife finds this site so she realizes. She married a jerk who cross dresses. I honestly think you need to work on accepting your reality before you work on repairing the relationship with your wife. If she would even want to Once a person has been lied to by someone that claims to Love them things are never quite the same. Good luck.
Later Scarlet.

[nikkijo]

Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of reading GF bashing. The icing on the cake is when it's topped with woe-is-me purposes.

"My wife is fat and disgusting. Nobody in their right mind would want her. I look way better than her en femme. Why oh why doesn't she accept me?"

:straightface:



thats how I see it.... and he also broke rules 1 and 2..NEVER trust family with PERSONAL secrets
and 2: NEVER EVER GIVE A SPARE SET OF KEYS TO YOUR CAR TO ANYONE!!!! have a spare set for emergencys like when you cant find your masterset, but the emergency set is hidden on the vehicle somehwere only you can find... be that under a body panel like a fuel door, or attached to a frame rail ect...

so rather than continuing this lecture.... how about i sic my wife on you.... dood she would tear you apart... and she for the record is 5'5, 155lbs, but 46 days ago was 196 lbs... and if you were "enfemme" AKA probably looked like a TV.. and called her fat, you would be staring down the barrel of a .40 S&W... and she would have had 13 hollow points, 1 of which would be chambered and ready to fire.. and thats no lie... ive done less and gotten the same treatment...

as for your little purge.... your stupid... what a waist.. you said that they were her clothes from the get go... so she is now also out her clothes as well.... doubling her frustration

[DemonicDaughter]

Wow... what a thread! So to sum it all up, the OP obviously went out dressed despite knowing the wife might find out and would be upset. So you're purposefully deceiving your wife (why else have spare clothes, wipes, etc in your car) and are amazed she's upset? You're bitching about her telling the Pastor but you have no problems going to lunch and spending "girl time" with her sister? You don't think THAT might be an issue? No, of course not. Its ONLY about the dressing. It could never be about the lying, the humiliation or the fact that you seem to prefer her sister's time over hers. In case you didn't read that correctly, its called sarcasm.

And perhaps you don't look as good as you think you do if your wife feels you looked more like a drag queen than a woman. Just like you don't think she looks good because she's a WHOLE 15 lbs heavier. How sad that someone is so shallow as to publicly put down someone they claim to love.

But then there's this:

If there are not kids involved and no property or huge bills to split, I say get out of the marriage while it will still be easiest. ...

Nicole, I'm really disappointed with this post. You know, when I first started reading your comments, they were light hearted, sincere and funny. You were a very no-nonsense kind of person. But this post is just...depressing. Its obvious your general attitude lately has taken on a great deal of sadness and I feel for you.

Yet posting that everything is one sided on a forum like this is rather silly don't you think? I mean, first off, the majority of people on the forums are TG (TG being the encompassing TS and CD definition here). There's no way they are not going to get the majority of the bashing when they are the majority. Of those on here that are not TG, 99% are GGs (as such a small percentage are family and/or friends). The GGs on this forum are here to either understand their partner and/or support them. This already makes those of us here NOT YOUR FRIKKEN ENEMY! THAT'S why GG bashing in here gets pounced upon! Because WE are supporting this community and if you want to pick on a group of people how about it NOT be in front of those who are trying to HELP!

I'm sorry but its extremely hurtful that you have to say something like that and make it sound as if no one on here says anything bad about GGs. Obviously the OP did and damn right he should be pounced on. 15 frikken pounds. Oh boo frikken hoo! And to think there are some on here who cannot even find a partner much less bitch about their love handles. As if everyone on here has a perfect body and therefore has any right!

Sorry Nicole, I think that your comment of immediately seeking a divorce as oppose to attempting to work something out with someone you love is very cynical and reflects a lot of what you are personally experiencing. I also think that your comment regarding GGs only stands to prove that you are letting it make you very bitter in the world. And that is not good my friend. Not at all.

[TheGirlNextDoor]

I had a very similar thing happen to me with my ex. Her and a bunch of her friends got a hold of a picture CD that I had burned several years ago. There were 5 or 6 pictures of me in all out drag (makeup,heels,skinny jeans, bra, etc...). Apparently her sister was the first to see, and that stupid bitch decided not to tell anyone what she saw, and gathered her whole family around the 50" big screen in the living room. She then proceeded to insert the disk making several comments on how much I especially would like this video. 2 seconds later the slide show started and the laughter that followed went on forever. I was totally speechless, thoughtless, mindless, and paralyzed from my eyeballs down. Nevertheless, my point is that all of us are Crossdressers and we share that same feeling at one point or another in our lives. Use your humiliation to begin the long and hard process of comming out to your spouse. You never know, it could have been soo much worse. Cheer up you'll be fine.:love:

[Shelly67]

OFFS !!!
I'm begining to see red here ...and I won't apologise for my rant either . Firstly , whats all this chatter about divorce ? I find the whole issue a bloody insult . We all have problems , but surely the first instance in any relasionship in trouble is surrender , sit down and at least try to sort things out . Even if it means bringing in a third partie to mediate . If divorce is such an easy option , then why on earth get married in the first place - not as if the oaths could have been taken that seriously was it ? I'm fed up with reading time and time again how people take the pee out of matrimoney with insults and then divorce , but worst of all deception and lies . What on earth do trannies , tv's , call em what you like expect if the SO finds out about his little " hobby " in a horrific situation ? Can't it be seen it,s not the act of wearing femanine attire , but the deception and lies that cause all the trouble . I think in support of all the GG's on here trying to help real people over coming troubles and concerns , that there should be a little more respect for starters . Calling women names is an insult . The way I see it , IF youre man enough to wear a dress then bloody well own up to it to youre partner and not act like a squeeling child when it all goes belly up . If i get a ban then I get a ban ....but it's the truth isn't it ???

[Karen7cd]

Oh I am going to address one reoccuring comment. Where did I say my wife was fat. I never did. She is overweight, to the point that is is unhealthy, and painful to her joints.
She is working out and I do anything she will let me to help her. Like making good dinners, having healthy snacks, not ever saying anything to her about her weight.
I offer to workout with her. I have supplied her with a home gym, workout machines, a weight room. When I made the appearence comments, I was very hurt.
She is and I hope to always be the only and most beautiful woman in my life.

[Elsa von Spielburg]

Dammit, I had a reply written out and it was eaten by my fail-computer. It boiled down to:

You're arguing semantics with the "fat" comment. Nearly everyone here, as you may have noticed, lost sympathy with you because what you said was, in fact, f**kin' WORSE than a simple "fat" comment.

Let's see it again, just for kicks:


My wife is 15 lbs heaver and 4 inches shorter than I . Her body looks terrible.

How can you NOT think this is freakin' terrible? And then you try to justify your thoughts and words by telling us how good you (not her!) have been in trying to help her with her weight. Hysterical, you're a saint. I hope you can get some help with your relationship, but you got a long way to go with the ego you've shown here.

[Tamara Croft]

not ever saying anything to her about her weight.No? you just said it to 30 thousand members on this board instead... and maybe your wife will read it...


She is and I hope to always be the only and most beautiful woman in my life.Yeah right, if you thought that, you wouldn't have bitched about her body being terrible...

Keep digging that hole, you might get out of it one day, right now, you've made yourself look like an ass.

[TiffanyTgirl]

I guess she should have chosen her words better. I might hazard a guess that she was trying to say that she accepts her wife as she is, just wishes she would do better health wise. I am not trying to put words in any one's mouth. Just a perspective. I live with my own short comings first then everyone else's. Should she have taken his car? No I don't think so. This whole situation seems to be an out of control mess because no one is communicating on the same level.

[Nicole Erin]

thats how I see it.... and he also broke rules 1 and 2..NEVER trust family with PERSONAL secrets
and 2: NEVER EVER GIVE A SPARE SET OF KEYS TO YOUR CAR TO ANYONE!!!!
so rather than continuing this lecture.... how about i sic my wife on you.... dood she would tear you apart... and she for the record is 5'5, 155lbs, but 46 days ago was 196 lbs... and if you were "enfemme" AKA probably looked like a TV.. and called her fat, you would be staring down the barrel of a .40 S&W... and she would have had 13 hollow points, 1 of which would be chambered and ready to fire.. and thats no lie... ive done less and gotten the same treatment...

as for your little purge.... your stupid... what a waist.. you said that they were her clothes from the get go... so she is now also out her clothes as well.... doubling her frustration

The rules - true, those are good for anyone

And the gun talk - yeah I am sure killing someone over getting called fat is certainly worth going to prison. "Oh yeah well I have a big gun with hollow points blah blah..." Sounds like something my hick neighbors would threaten.
Gyod tough guy talk. :brolleyes:

For her purge, what was she suppose to do? Yeah it was a bad idea but in the heat of the moment, I mean who wouldn't freak? Then again, maybe KAren had some bad choice of clothes and can rebuild a wardrobe with better things.

Ya know, I think the comment that set fire in this thread was about the wife's weight. We know GG's are real sensitive about their weight and don't need to be reminded if they don't look like Barbie. In fact, a lot of TG are too, cause come on, we tend to have elements of a female mindset as well.
few years ago I posted photos of myself, I was at my heaviest at the time and later asked how I could improve my looks. Got a couple suggesting for outfits or changing hairstyle, that is fine. Thing is, what I heard more than anything was about losing weight. Several times in PM's.
So, doesn't that kind of show that people seem to have a preference for a thin woman? I mean my kind of lady actually is a bit more on the "woman's" size, but some don't feel that way.
KAren was just stating what most guys think but are afraid to say.

Also, Karen went out en femme, which is more than what a lot of members here will do. I go out en femme and live part time as a woman.
Those who don't have the gall to get out of the closet - you have no idea what those of us "out" go thru, if we don't pass well. Or the ones that do pass, they at one time had to deal with the BS at least til they were assimilated and passing well.

[kristinacd55]

wow , this kind of got carried away!

I was always told if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it.

always sounded like good advice to me! :2c:

Here, here Paige! :iagree: I think it got way more than kind of carried away.

[Crysten]

My last thought on this - this whole "story" is BS and the thread should be removed. I was so upset at this, I got a "talking to" by Holly and my post deleted (right quick too).

My questiion is -- if the story is "hot" enough to incite reactions like mine, why wouldn't the thread be taken down?

My initial reaction to this story was -- "this "lady" is AWFUL" -- and about 4 paragraphs of me being pissed off. With a little more perspective - this story has a million holes in it, and was just put on the forum to flame people up.

It should go.

[Tamara Croft]

The thread isn't going to be removed just because you think it's BS. I think it is too, but what would be the point of deleting it? People need to realise that sugar coating peoples lies by deleting them, isn't always the best policy. Showing people that we care enough to stand up for a person who can't defend themselves imho is better than shoving these threads under the carpet.

[msginaadoll]

I really like this forum, but some folks are scaring me. Cant we all just join hands and sing Kumbayah. Some times people say things that they wish they could take back. Sometimes they write things that they wish they hadnt. Sometimes I think in the safety and the anonaminity(I spelled it wrong) of this forum things are said that we would never say if we actually met or really new each other. And maybe some people I'm glad I dont know. True or false, this posting sure stirred up some angry feelings. I think I need a deep cleansing breath, and a little Sara McLachlan.

[melissacd]

If the story is true then the originator made a bunch of bad choices that have led her to where she is now, including making a poorly worded statement about her wife that she never have been posted at all.

Based on reading what she says, which of course is only a fraction of the real context of her situation, it sounds like she has some very serious relationship issues to deal with above and beyond the dressing.

She needs to do some serious soul searching and think about good choices that she can make to move her life and her relationship to a better place. None of us know enough about her or her situation to even assess what course of action to advise other than lots of open honest communication and formal counselling with someone who understands both relationship and transgender issues.

That being said, hopefully the replies to her post will help her on her journey and perhaps be of benefit to others as well.

[Nicole Erin]

My questiion is -- if the story is "hot" enough to incite reactions like mine, why wouldn't the thread be taken down?

My initial reaction to this story was -- "this "lady" is AWFUL" -- and about 4 paragraphs of me being pissed off. With a little more perspective - this story has a million holes in it, and was just put on the forum to flame people up.



I have had threads deleted, but not cause of something like this.
My experience is when threads are put in the wrong section and made totally in gest is when they get deleted.

I don't know where the holes are, I mean it sounds like something that could actually happen and is probably not the first time someone went thru something similar.

[lottarosie70]

i'd like to give my take on this, and i apologize in advance for the length of it. personally it appears to me that the outrage present (and certainly in my case this is true) is not because he said his wife is overweight (regardless of his intentions and/or actual verbiage) but because he seems to be saying that he was going out dressed because he looks better as a woman than she does, and that her body looks terrible. concern for her health is one thing, but let's face it, "...her body looks terrible" can not be construed in any way other than hurtful. furthermore, it is incredibly juvenile and inflammatory for a CD to attempt to blame their SO for what they have in most cases already been doing for a large portion of their life anyway.

and i do hear sentiments like this rather often from CDs, both in and out of relationships: i don't have, can't find, am not with, et cetera, a girl who looks the way i want one to look, so i make myself that girl, as much as i can. i KNOW that this is not why all of us are who we are and do what we do, but it is an underlying motivation for some. but to come right out and say something like that, especially in such a negative way, is counterproductive at best.

i'm not even going to mention the comment about "...when she caught me i was wearing her clothes!" another reason many SOs do not like our dressing is because so many of us use their things to do it. talk about an invasion of privacy! how would you expect a stereotypical guy to react if his wife took his power tools (without his permission) and used them to do her things, many of which said tools are simply NOT designed for? you think he will be cool with her using his 180 dollar dewalt cordless power drill to mix cake batter?!? oh, wait, i said i wasn't going to mention it, didn't i? oops

finally, even if the entire story is nothing more than a steaming bile of bovine excrement, the point remains that if someone is reading this forum hoping to gain an understanding of the CD/TG/TS world, the kind of negativity in the op and in any post bashing our SOs or GGs in general will. not. help. our cause.

[Sweet Jane]

My last thought on this - this whole "story" is BS and the thread should be removed...............

It should go.

I don't think any thread should be removed at the whim of the few.....I would subscribe to a system whereby we had the ability to 'vote' a thread off, but when threads are removed/locked because of one persons perceptions/prejudices, I get annoyed. However if the community disapproves, then I can accept that decision.

As for this thread, I've watched it for a while, and I agree that it sounds like a made up fantasy....thats why I've not commented on the subject, I couldn't be bothered


“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.....Evelyn Beatrice Hall

[Sandra]

Thankyou for this lottarosie, I just wished more would think like you do.

[EnglishRose]

i'm not even going to mention the comment about "...when she caught me i was wearing her clothes!" another reason many SOs do not like our dressing is because so many of us use their things to do it. talk about an invasion of privacy!

Absolutely. I have in the distant past borrowed some of my wife's clothes. However with it out in the open, I buy my own clothes and leave hers alone, and feel better for it. It's not fair to her. Of course, she does give me some cast-off bras and that's different :)

[natashab]

Some wives do not like the cding. I was one of them and probably would have reacted the same way. One boundry that I did set was that my CD hubby was not to be seen in public in the same town in full drag. In general society does not except this as norm for a guy to be dressed in drag and unfortunatly tounges will wag. OK we live in a very conservative country and this might not apply to some european countries. I think this was a cardinal rule that you unfortunatly broke. Maybe you can get away with it in a g/l bar dressed up but in broad daylight this could be a problem. She needs advice and unfortunatly has tried the church leader who possibly is going to be a bit bias and think that you mught be a bit gay(which is definitly not the case). Always remember that the CDing is not normal to most women and you need to compromise. Men that CD will never stop so she must never think that you will ever stop but rather get to accept it and you need agree to some rules and how, when and where you going to CD. Keep loving her and show her that you care...it might be easier said than done but if she is prepared to try and fix your marriage she will eventualy except the CDing. I am not a phycologist but this has been the solution for us. I think the weight issue was mentioned out of anger. I am a heavy person myself and it is not easy shedding the weight...rather incourage her.

[JulieK1980]

First, thats an absolutely horrible thing to say about your wife..:Angry3:

Second, she had no business telling your preacher about it. Its none of his business.

third, you shouldn't have lied all that time to begin with. You play with fire, and eventually you get burned.

I wish you luck, I hope you and your wife learn from this, but since you think so kindly about your wife and her looks, maybe she can find someone that treats her better.

And as a side note, this is a perfect example of why so many people claim we are self absorbed and selfish people.

Just my two cents.

[catriona36]

Keep digging that hole, you might get out of it one day, right now, you've made yourself look like an ass.

I have mining rights on that hole he is digging :lol2:

[charlie]

Hello Karen!
Boy did you get caught! I hope that things are starting to get better. Keep talking and telling her you love her and are not gay..etc. After about 6 months your life will start to return to normal. Good Luck!

[karennjcd]

Wow what an interesting thread! First time I've read it as I wasn't on here in a few days.

I have to agree that the bashing of a spouse, or any GG in one's life, was the incorrect thing to do, whether she's going to read this forum or not. You married her, Karen, hopefully for the reason that you love her and would stay with her through sickness and in health, and that includes a possible problem she might have had with her weight.

There are far more issues here than being caught CD'ing. It sounds like this marriage is in serious trouble, and that quickly purging wasn't going to save it. As for telling the clergyman/friend, it was probably her intent to tell him as your friend. As a non-religious person I see no benefit from telling a clergyman. Like finding or becoming more involved in religion is going to solve the "problem" that she feels CD'ing is. But telling him as your friend means you now have to be embarrased to see him when you hang out with him since he knows the personal secret that was divulged.

The sis in law you had to know was someday going to tell her sister (your wife) what was happening. Why wouldn't she? Their bond is thicker than the one you have with your wife.

If I were you I would find a way to end this marriage, but know too that as some said before, you've given her plenty to go on against you. It will take a very good and expensive attorney to give you any leverage in this case. The fact that you did bash her here, which can be viewed publicly by anyone, is another negative for you.

I haven't read through every single post in this thread carefully, so I can't tell whether kids are involved. It's going to be an uphill battle there too if you're ever to see them again if this marriage is dissolved given the comment you've made towards her, their mother.

As for retention of this thread, it would probably be in this original poster's best interest to have it deleted. However this can serve as a lesson to all to be more careful in what you say in a public forum, and how we should treat the ones we supposedly love. Unfortunately for you, Karen, you messed up big time, and now you can't be surprised when you have to pay the price for it. You already can't be happy with having purged (again not that it would help you) but consider that only the first of may punishments you will encounter. :(

Good luck to you, you'll need it!

Another Karen

[StaceyJane]

Here's a post the same person made back in October.
It doesn't match the new story at all.

I have been crossdressing off and on since I was about 12. I have a real busy life and stopped for a few years. Now I am unemployed and looking for a job. My wife has been able to get some work. So now I am doing the dishes, cleaning, even some cooking. Last week I was finding no joy in the many tasks before me. I decided to dress up. It made all the work fun. I kept talking to myself "Don't quit bitch get it done". And I did. My kitchen and bathroom are clean!
Well I found a wig and started using it. For the first time I put on makeup.
Lipstick really feels good! My makeup made me look like a drunk hooker....
Need to work on that.
Last night I told my wife. She knew I have dressed a "few" times in the past.
I asked for help with the makeup. At first she said ok, but has backed away now.
So what I was wondering if there are any cd's out there or girls that would like to help?

Thanks,
Karen