Mixed up

[Jennifer N J]

Hello Ladies, I was just wondering, How many of you could put the girl behind you if you found the right Biological lady for you. I ask this question because I have found that when I am with a BF that I have feelings for and its sexual, I have less desire to dress. I dont know why but its true. Does anyone experience this too?

[Renee_E]

Yes Then I married her and was content for a while. Diidn't take long and the girl in me started to come back. It was like being glued to the candy store window looking at all those clothes and not touching.(I married the wrong size. lol).

[Genifer Teal]

It is not a matter of weather I could or not. I wouldn't want to so I won't.

[DiannaRose]

Back when I was young, I always had this idea in my mind that if I met the right girl, I wouldn't feel the need to wear the clothes. And yes, for a short while it worked. But the feelings never entirely went away.

The girl I met was not cool with my dressing, but I thought I could put it behind me and forget about it. That didn't happen, but because I knew she couldn't handle it, I kept it buried and hidden. I'm here to tell you that keeping something as big as this was to me buried or ignored or denied or otherwise hidden like that eats away at you over time. It kills me now to know that if I had been stronger and more sure of my own feelings back then, I wouldn't have had to life without half of me for 25 years.

My therapist says that often there are a lot of sexual feelings tied up into what we do. In my case, the sexual aspects are lesser now, but yes, they were stronger back as a teen and young adult (everything is sexual to a teen or young adult male :) ), though not the primary driving factor for me. It sounds like CDing is pretty sexual for you, so naturally if you find other ways to satisfy those feelings (which role a BF/GF will play), the "need" for dressing is diminished.

Those are my thoughts, anyway. The main point I guess I'm trying to make is to be sure of your feelings. Don't settle for a BF/GF who seems to replace the desire to dress, if they won't be cool with your dressing if those feelings come back later. Let him/her know all of you.

[monalisa]

You do find the desire to dress and the frequency is less when you are in a new relationship but it never totally goes away. I think it might be that your mind is on something or somebody else and you have less free time to dress. All girls are different and have different feelings and outlooks so it is what you feel or want to do that is important.

[Deidra Cowen]

Would not be fair to inflict myself on some poor GG. :heehee:

[AKAMichelle]

I too remember those days and they lasted for a long time, but they do end. As you get closer and closer to middle age, things will change. The first signs will probably come once you have children and you aren't the most important person in her life anymore. You then have to compete for attention, and then it hits you like a ton of bricks. The urge to CD is back and stronger than before.

You can't hide Cd'ing or deny Cd'ing. It will come back when you least expect it. Does it have to destroy you life when it comes back - NO. It all depends upon how you deal with it. Accepting yourself is the key.

AND NEVER AVOID TELLING YOUR SO BEFORE YOU MARRY HER THAT YOU ARE A CROSSDRESSER. THAT MISTAKE WILL COME BACK TO DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

Take it from many people on this forum that made the mistake of not telling their SO and how it destroyed their marriage. I hope you don't make the same mistake so many of us have made before you. Learn from our mistakes so your life will be better.

[Sexyalexis]

Yes I have gone through the same thing a couple of times. At first there really was not a want to dress but then after a while Alexis (my girl side) came back wanting to play. I dont know if the want was not there because i did not want to scare her off or i was just content in the relationship. That is why i really let this girl freind in. i told her that the want to dress may fade at rimes but itis a part of who I am. It working out ok she understands and likes when i dress in the bed room i am just trying to get her to let me out in public. Hope that helps.

XOXO
Aexis

[Karren H]

I'm confused.... so BF = Best Friend (aka bff or best girl friend) not Boy Friend??

[Laura Evans]

Back when I was young, I always had this idea in my mind that if I met the right girl, I wouldn't feel the need to wear the clothes. And yes, for a short while it worked. But the feelings never entirely went away.

The girl I met was not cool with my dressing, but I thought I could put it behind me and forget about it. That didn't happen, but because I knew she couldn't handle it, I kept it buried and hidden. I'm here to tell you that keeping something as big as this was to me buried or ignored or denied or otherwise hidden like that eats away at you over time. It kills me now to know that if I had been stronger and more sure of my own feelings back then, I wouldn't have had to life without half of me for 25 years.

My therapist says that often there are a lot of sexual feelings tied up into what we do. In my case, the sexual aspects are lesser now, but yes, they were stronger back as a teen and young adult (everything is sexual to a teen or young adult male :) ), though not the primary driving factor for me. It sounds like CDing is pretty sexual for you, so naturally if you find other ways to satisfy those feelings (which role a BF/GF will play), the "need" for dressing is diminished.

Those are my thoughts, anyway. The main point I guess I'm trying to make is to be sure of your feelings. Don't settle for a BF/GF who seems to replace the desire to dress, if they won't be cool with your dressing if those feelings come back later. Let him/her know all of you.


I too remember those days and they lasted for a long time, but they do end. As you get closer and closer to middle age, things will change. The first signs will probably come once you have children and you aren't the most important person in her life anymore. You then have to compete for attention, and then it hits you like a ton of bricks. The urge to CD is back and stronger than before.

You can't hide Cd'ing or deny Cd'ing. It will come back when you least expect it. Does it have to destroy you life when it comes back - NO. It all depends upon how you deal with it. Accepting yourself is the key.

AND NEVER AVOID TELLING YOUR SO BEFORE YOU MARRY HER THAT YOU ARE A CROSSDRESSER. THAT MISTAKE WILL COME BACK TO DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

Take it from many people on this forum that made the mistake of not telling their SO and how it destroyed their marriage. I hope you don't make the same mistake so many of us have made before you. Learn from our mistakes so your life will be better.

:iagree:
I am with both these girls response, been there done that, the feelings come back. It is better to open up to your SO or potential SO early on and be ready to accept what ever their response may be, even if it means to move on. It is much worse if you wait and the feelings return to open up to and for the SO to take in the revelation. What you are feeling is not something you alone feel we all have had them. Take care girl.

[Frédérique]

How many of you could put the girl behind you if you found the right Biological lady for you. I ask this question because I have found that when I am with a BF that I have feelings for and its sexual, I have less desire to dress. I dont know why but its true. Does anyone experience this too?

I did just that, a few years ago, when I dated an ultra-feminine lady in Massachusetts. She was nine years younger than me, but somewhat old-fashioned, so she dressed like women used to dress. She always wore dresses or skirts, knew how to coordinate outfits, was an expert with makeup, and she employed the handbags, jewelry, and fragrances that all MtF crossdressers can relate to (and envy). Pleasingly trapped in this whirlpool of femininity, I had nowhere to go with my own explorations – I put my femme self aside and enjoyed the show. I played the gentleman for her sake, thinking I might have seen the end of my own crossdressing, since I was able to live out my CD desire simply by looking at the vision before me. She couldn’t understand why I liked to go shopping for women’s clothes with her! I managed to keep my little secret intact throughout the relationship. I must say my impressive girlfriend was extremely biological, and somewhat zoological as well…:D

My own crossdressing emerges during times of isolation or loneliness. If there are no women around, or if the women who are around don’t dress up at all, crossdressing flourishes out of a desire to be near something more feminine, at least in my case. Right now I’m living with my sister, who is a very feminine lady, but she dresses like a sock puppet, so I become “me” to compensate…:battingeyelashes:

[linnea]

Back when I was young, I always had this idea in my mind that if I met the right girl, I wouldn't feel the need to wear the clothes. And yes, for a short while it worked. But the feelings never entirely went away.

I thought this too, but it has not had that effect except for a short time.