Attempting to limit and contain crossdressing

[flogo920]

Attempting to limit and Contain:thumbsup:

I have given up quitting- it is NOT going to happen.No point trying to fly or try to throw the car down the street. No amount of conscious effort will do it.

Next step- decide to live rest of life in closet because exposure would be catastrophic-OR

Find some nice local person(s) to occasionally dress with as a safe outlet.preferably a next door neighbor!):hugs:

Has anyone on this forum done this,( decided to live in a bigger closet, but with friends) and how does it work out in reality ??

Thanks in advance !

Flo

[ChanDelle]

No, but I think that's a great plan. Good luck!!!!

ChanDelle

[Katesback]

Exposure would be distroy you eaa?

Did you ever notice that a countless number of transsexual sisters went through transition and did not DIE??????????

Yes it does happen. It has happened. What the heck are you afraid of? Be who you are and be proud and stop being your own worse ememy.

[Emme]

Try to stop thinking we are doing something wrong!
Get educated and if "caught" educate.
Whhen I buy hair, I educate the girl who is helping me. In drab I am not femm and every encounter has been good. Except the shoe salesman...but he got fired!

[sterling12]

Gosh, I wouldn't count on that next door neighbor being transgendered, nor The Guy down The Block, or one of The Grease Monkey's at your local Jiffy-Lube. I think we are just a bit more rare than that! At least that's true for The One's willing to leave their bedrooms and befriend others.

Your in a good area to find a Support Group, why not start there? You can limit your amount of being "Out" within that relatively safe environment, and you will have The Luxury of Time to Explore whom and what you want to be.

There are degrees of "Outness." It's not an "all or nothing" kind of deal. You get to decide how much, and at what pace.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[SusanCACD]

I am sure you don't remember me but you came over to my apartment a few times. I kinda lost touch with you since I moved. I am Concord now, much better apartment, and I think I am progressing fairly well. I have grown my nails out and even had by brows waxed to a pretty shape. I understand how hard it is for you, maybe I can help sometime. Oh by the way, I think I still have one of your dresses.

Susan

[flogo920]

Hi Susan-

Too late to call- will call tomorrow if same #

Hugs,

Flo

[ReineD]

I agree with Joanie. Take your time with your outings and don't make yourself do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. You will find that your circle of experiences and the people who know you will widen gradually. Begin with TG support groups. When you feel comfortable with your presentation, go to LGBT clubs with a friend. Maybe you can meet someone here you can go with.

And then you'll be ready to go out in the mainstream ... cafes, restaurants, art galleries, shopping, etc. You will decide whether you want to do this in your own neighborhood, or go a bit further away.

The more comfortable you feel out and about with people, the easier it will be to begin to tell your friends. But do remember to always go at your own pace. This is everyone's privilege.

:love:

[Loni]

i to must limit and contain my whole life..(job), but it is hard as it keeps pushing the limit.

one day maybe...but not at this job.

as to the very nice people next door, not sure i have only lived here a short time..

but while talking with the daughter there (in her 20-30's) she said it was good to have me next door as the last the "lady" tried to "take" her husband..
-i toung in cheek- said not to worry i would never do that:heehee:

little does she know about my inside joke.

she blushed and said did not mean it that way...

life is good.:daydreaming:

.

[corynn]

Attempting to limit and Contain:thumbsup:

I have given up quitting- it is NOT going to happen.No point trying to fly or try to throw the car down the street. No amount of conscious effort will do it.

Next step- decide to live rest of life in closet because exposure would be catastrophic-OR

Find some nice local person(s) to occasionally dress with as a safe outlet.preferably a next door neighbor!):hugs:

Has anyone on this forum done this,( decided to live in a bigger closet, but with friends) and how does it work out in reality ??

Thanks in advance !

Flo


The worst thing you can do is hide yourself

and who in the hell wants to live in the closet anyway its dark in there get out enfeme and see the world as
A WOMAN the true way you feel and if no one like it tough chit

I myself have lost some friends over telling them
but the ones who stuck by me were the ones who i educated them on who and what I am

But DO NOT HIDE the people that do not understand nor do they try they themselfs are the weak ones because they're close minded and scared

pm me and i will tell you about a book that i had bought my S.O. to open her eyes to CD'S

Toodles :doll:

[Billie1]

If you must remain in the closet for whatever reason, only you can make that decision for yourself. That right should be understood and respected.

But instead of 'limiting' myself, I prefer to think that I 'maximize oppurtunities'. It's more fun that way.

Good luck and be well.

[Andy66]

Exposure would be distroy you eaa?

Did you ever notice that a countless number of transsexual sisters went through transition and did not DIE??????????

Yes it does happen. It has happened. What the heck are you afraid of? Be who you are and be proud and stop being your own worse ememy.
Yeah, what Kate said. Unless you live with your parents, or you're in the military on a submarine... I'm not sure I understand why you would need to go to a neighbor's house to dress.

[DaisyG]

Hi, Flo

That's great! You've passed a major milestone, admitting to yourself you cannot stop CD. Reaching that understanding has taken some of us decades, during which we tend to be quite hard on our emotional selves. :o

Finding a sister to dress with could turn into a real confidence-builder for you, and help you escape the solitary confinement of your closet. Perhaps you can connect with a similarly-inclined CD via a support group in your area. :)

Now, if only you had the good fortune - - - An understanding and participating wife or committed SO could be a real blessing. True, these GGs aren't very common, but they do exist. Believe that the right gal for you is out there somewhere. She could pull you out of that closet. :daydreaming:


Best wishes to you! :hugs:


Daisy

[Crysten]

Well, I'm in the closet too. Thankfully, it's a fairly good size closet. While I don't go out, I find other ways of coping.

Whatever you come up with for yourself, best of luck to you.

[Rachel Morley]

Find some nice local person(s) to occasionally dress with as a safe outlet.preferably a next door neighbor!):hugs:
Sounds like you should be hanging out with TG friends at a support group. Living in the East Bay area your nearest one (and a great one I might add - I'm a member too) is Diablo Valley Girls. Here's their Yahoo Group and website addresses. Donna and her wife Julie do a great job of running this group!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dvg/
http://www.diablovalleygirls.org/

[Karren H]

Marry someone like my wife and she will limit and contain your crossdressing plus some! Sigh...

[msginaadoll]

Well Flo, I have done what u have mentioned. It works out for me now. Telling my wife is not really an option so that gets thrown out. I know people will question that but only I know my life situation. Im a big boy and able to deal with the criticism that comes with that decision. I did find a friend that allows me to dress at their place. I have a key and am able to come and go within reason. I do get out and about to clubs, shopping, etc. I have built a small network of people that I associate with as Gina. Some I consider friends and some acquaintances. I try not to let my female side take over to much or neglect the time I spend with my wife. I am lucky that she has friends that she enjoys spending time with so we do have our alone time. Its not a perfect situation but life isnt always perfect it can be messy.

[Frédérique]

Has anyone on this forum done this,( decided to live in a bigger closet, but with friends) and how does it work out in reality ??

It would be nice to have crossdressing neighbors I could “hang out” with! There are so many little clubs in the town where I live (as reported weekly in the local paper), that it would be fantastic to have a gathering of gender-benders as well*. Just a cup of tea and some heartwarming, supportive conversation would be nice, along with a presentation of sorts. I’d like to suggest a little fashion show, or at least a comparison of outfits (or shopping stories), but I wouldn’t want to exclude any part of the transgendered spectrum. You are “out” to me in more ways than one, and I welcome you. I’ll bake a cake, put on my best apron, and wait on you all…:battingeyelashes:

*In reality, such a gathering would, by necessity, be extremely invisible. Consider where I live…:straightface:

[Bowmanls2]

Wish I was your neighbor! LOL:hugs:

[minalost]

We all have to decide how much CDing we need to stay sain, or as others put it, what size closet you need to be happy.