What is "Feminine" To You?

[Holly]

When you hear the word "feminine" what is the first trait or characteristic that comes to your mind? I encourage all to respond to this thread but I am particularly interested in what our GG's have to say about this. I'm thinking this might reveal some differences in the way males and females view things.

[Tamara Croft]

Feminine, that's a loaded question Holly ;) I haven't really thought about it to be honest.

[Holly]

It's not meant to be loaded... honest ;). Some might say a shaply form, others a nurturing attitute and still others breasts. I'm just trying to get a handle of how different groups precieve femininity. :)

[Tamara Croft]

Well, I've just got out the shower, stood in front of the mirror, dried and straightened my hair... and even though I have the 'feeling fat and frumpy' mood on, doing my hair, making it look perfect (you can ask Sharon how obsessive I am about my hair lol), makes me feel feminine ;)

[Crysten]

IMO - it is many things. Lots of women aren't feminine. Hell, I've stated before, I am more feminine than my wife. No question about it.

But what is it? Here's my thoughts:

1. Embracing and expressing your female characteristics (for us, that would be all the padding, forms, cinchers, wig, etc)
2. Chosing "girly" clothing - heels, dresses, skirts, instead of andro or other clothes (as most women do nowadays)
3. Female manerisms - body language says it all. Have you ever seen a woman from across the street and immediately knew she was a lesbian? BODY LANGUAGE!!!
4. Female accesories - including makeup. All the "stuff" that fills womens bathrooms.
5. Attitude - soft, caring, acceptiing, sympathetic, etc (esp with children - having my own has opened up my eyes on this issue)
6. Exploiting, as much as possible, all the choices females have. Many women don't do this NEARLY enough
7. And finally - I guess the number one most feminine thing possible is to enter a "hetero" relationship with a man, with you as the woman. This includes orgasming as a female. Personally, I'm not going there any time soon. But many of us have.

So - all of that put together - leads to an expression of yourself as a feminine person. I would call it a lifestyle choice more than anything else I guess, since many, many women choose not to express themselves as overtly feminine, and just choose to fall back to the sex act as their primary identification with femininity. Many of them (most?) will state that their bodies, and what their bodies can do (ie childbirth) is the root of their feminine feelings, which we will never feel, unfortunately.

[Nicole Erin]

Feminine -
That is an adjective that would describe Eminem on weekends when he secrety dresses really pretty and dances in front of the mirror.
Or maybe in a ball gown and calls himself "Cinderfella"

For real tho - feminine is something that is generally done ir used by women more than men.

"Pretty" is feminine, say like a purse or something curvy.

[Persephone]

To me, femininity is the strength of being gentle, power without force, personality without arrogance, the ability to make others feel important without diminishing yourself

[Joanne f]

Feminine to me is the way you move and your jesters, femininity to me is soft flowing moves and jesters like tall grass moving in a gentle breeze as opposed to masculine that would be tall and firm in its movements, a fluency that runs through you body.

[Carol123]

one way or two is cooking or cleaning while dressed enfemme.....always feels good to me.:heehee:

[SouthernBelle.GG]

When you hear the word "feminine" what is the first trait or characteristic that comes to your mind?

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word 'feminine' is

Soft...as in
*features
*voice
*mannerisms
*heart

[Dee2U]

I'm with Persephone on this one. It is a way of being - all the best characteristics of being human - caring, nurturing, grace,elegance, softness, warmth, gentle loving humour, a truthfulness mingled with kindness. But also an inner strength that finds a way when things look dark. Everything I want to be in my life...Dee

[Jonianne]

To me, femininity is the strength of being gentle, power without force, personality without arrogance, the ability to make others feel important without diminishing yourself

:iagree:

The first thought that came to my mind was gentleness and kindness, but Persephone said it elegantly.

[Nicola2876]

Gentle, soft, kind, loving, fragrant, pretty are a few words that spring to mind on the word feminine. Everything I feel I am or aspire to xx

[Holly]

Thanks for the responses so far. I'd really like a larger sampling... keep 'em coming :battingeyelashes:.

[Sandra]

Being able to nuture, softness and loving.

[Presh GG]

Careing more about the comfort of the family than yourself.

I think my husband has femme down to a science.

Presh GG

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

7. And finally - I guess the number one most feminine thing possible is to enter a "hetero" relationship with a man, with you as the woman. This includes orgasming as a female. Personally, I'm not going there any time soon. But many of us have.

am I the only one who finds this borderline insulting? I know some pretty femm lesbians who might have some objections to it.

[Frédérique]

When you hear the word "feminine" what is the first trait or characteristic that comes to your mind?

The word “feminine” conjures up a cornucopia of gentle sensibilities that have always been attractive to me. There are certain elements of posture, presentation, manner, and overall comportment that I choose to emulate, but it’s not easy! I also need to point out that communication, yielding, listening, and quiet strength can be seen as feminine sensibilities – I certainly don’t notice them in the “kit” of the normal male these days….:eek:

Of course, the outer containment vessel for feminine women is equally fascinating (and desirable). The fact that many GG’s don’t know (or don’t care to know) what we’re talking about, or what we are in pursuit of, means we have a DIY situation on our hands. Same as it ever was, but if a point of contention didn’t exist, there would be no basis for our explorations...:straightface:

[Emma Leigh]

To me, femininity is the strength of being gentle, power without force, personality without arrogance, the ability to make others feel important without diminishing yourself

What she said, plus great clothes! I would rather have said, elequently put, but I got beat to it, pity most women fail to be feminine, in every respect, maybe we do what we do because we are better at it than most of them!, :heehee:

[Tina L.]

any time that my gf hands me the latest issue of
victorias secrets catalog. i have to look at ever page.
does this count?

[windycissy]

am I the only one who finds this borderline insulting? I know some pretty femm lesbians who might have some objections to it.

I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way, but I've got Crysten's back on this one. A lot of us fantasize about what it's like to be taken out on a date as the girl, and if you truly want to experience what it's like to be romanced by a guy, sooner or later you're going to get there...as I said, not for everyone to be sure, but for those who dare, it can be wonderfully fulfilling when a man makes a woman out of you

[Lexi Cutie]

An adjective describing something girly, pretty, cute, soft, frilly, sweet, nurturing, etc.....

[Brandi Wyne]

:daydreaming: To my way of thinking, being feminine is a state of mind that controls actions and tastes. How much is genetic and how much is derived from outside influences varies a lot from person to person.

I have seen my own cute little girl go from being the soft and gentle image of femininity to being a bold, brash and physical person who borders on the masculine outlook within moments of each other.

We humans are natural imitators on many levels. Our society of mankind seems to demand it. Over time the imitating becomes the genuine, habitual thing that controls much of our way of thinking and acting.

Perhaps we put too much emphasis on gender to define self. If I feel feminine and imitate the actions required often enough, it stands to reason that I will become feminine within myself without changing gender. I'm sure the opposite is quite true, too.

To your point Holly, I also believe that we tend to look at a set of actions and reactions as being "feminine". We tend to think someone is feminine who is more of a feeling person. someone who can enjoy the softer side of life and find joy in little self-indulgences that present to others a refined and/or sensual look. There is a sense of self-depreciation and a willingness to listen without having to "fix" anythinng; allowing the other person to lead and being content to follow.

Well, that's my take on it anyway.:heehee:

[Jonianne]

To me, femininity is the strength of being gentle, power without force, personality without arrogance, the ability to make others feel important without diminishing yourself


What she said.......pity most women fail to be feminine, in every respect, maybe we do what we do because we are better at it than most of them!, :heehee:

Emma, do you see the contridiction in your own statement? The last part is not gentle toward women, neither does it make them feel important.

Talking about true feminity, like true humility, if we have to say we are, we ain't.

[Kathi Lake]

To me, femininity is the strength of being gentle, power without force, personality without arrogance, the ability to make others feel important without diminishing yourselfYup, this is in total agreement with my internal compass on what constitutes femininity.


Being able to nuture, softness and loving.This hits closer to home for me. the feeling of softness and gentleness that comes over me is in stark contrast with the way I usually feel in my testosterone-soaked life.


Caring more about the comfort of the family than yourself.

I think my husband has femme down to a science.

Presh GGPresh, this statement comes closest to home of all for me, and my wife has said almost that phrase to me - though at times in frustration (i.e. "You're a better woman/mother/wife than me. You're the feminine one in this marriage).

My family is everything to me. My wife, my kids, their hopes and dreams - it is why I live my life. It is why I sometimes willingly sacrifice my happiness to ensure that their needs are met. No, I'm not a doormat. I simply revel in the "little things" - doing my daughter's hair in the morning and helping her pick out outfits for school, or doing her makeup for ballet. Quizzing my son on his spelling words. Proofreading my wife's latest journal article. Laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, being a "room mom" at school - whatever it takes to ensure my family is taken care of.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these things are what I think women should do, and by doing them, I am suddenly closer to womanhood. I don't put on a maid outfit and get a thrill out of "playing house." I simply do it so that my family has time to do other things. My wife's job requires long and sometimes strange hours. My kid's lives are full of school, church and all the activities of a modern kid. My job is pretty 9 to 5, and therefore I seem to be the one who has time for these things. Still, I'm not totally altruistic - the satisfaction and contentment I get from being a part of my family's lives more than outweighs the effort it takes.

So, although I can never truly know what it is to be feminine, I do enjoy what I feel is the closest approximation, in my experience.

Kathi

[NathalieX66]

Ok....Okay.

I just have one observation on a lingusitic level: In the English language, I Iooooove how women emphasize the pronucation of vowels vs. how men emphaszie the pronuciation of consonants. That, to me, is a visilbe, or rather audble difference between feminine vs. masculine.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way, but I've got Crysten's back on this one. A lot of us fantasize about what it's like to be taken out on a date as the girl, and if you truly want to experience what it's like to be romanced by a guy, sooner or later you're going to get there...as I said, not for everyone to be sure, but for those who dare, it can be wonderfully fulfilling when a man makes a woman out of you

There's a big difference between saying that and saying that doing such is the ultimate expression of femininity. I occasionally see this sentiment that having sex with a man makes a woman out of you. It never sits right with me, and if I were a woman I think I'd find it downright chauvinistic.

[Gillian]

What is feminine to me?

Well I have spotted quite a few CD's out in the world as they still walk like a man despite varying degree's on convincing attire, one I spotted on the tube in London was dressed perfectly but the wig and body deportment was a 100% give away to me and the rest of the carriage.
I practice my walk and movement all the time though I am never able to go into the world as Gillian, and practice my moves based on watching similar style women in life and telly.

I hold my head, arms and legs in as delicate a way as I can, always, as part of my illusion, and use make up to hide my real self from just my own gaze and feel I could be fairly convincing if I ever had the chance, though I would need to go shopping and spend a fortune to make myself as good as I could.

Just my twopenny worth:)

[minalost]

I think there are two ways of defining feminine: biological and sociological.

Biologically there are some things women can do and men can’t (and visa-versa – although I do think men are more limited than women…).

The sociological definition is based on expectations of how women and men “should” behave or present themselves in society. With the possible exception of the transsexual trapped in a body of the wrong sex, I think most of us crossdress because our preference in “gender rolls” leads us to prefer the roll opposite that of our birth sex as defined by our society or by ourselves.

My point?

Speaking for myself as a MTF crossdresser I attempt to present or act “feminine” as I understand society’s definition of feminine. My understanding of this definition may be flawed or just different than yours. But that doesn’t make it wrong.

So here are some qualities I consider feminine:
• Pretty.
• Gentle.
• Calm.
• Nurturing.
• Patient.

:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

Being free and easy yet loving and firm.:)

[bron]

To me, feminine is being much more aware of ones emotions.....much more empathetic than men...soft and gentle, caring...compassionate...and able to talk a lot more.

[Crysten]

There's a big difference between saying that and saying that doing such is the ultimate expression of femininity. I occasionally see this sentiment that having sex with a man makes a woman out of you. It never sits right with me, and if I were a woman I think I'd find it downright chauvinistic.

Funny. The reason I put that in there is because I actually heard Barbara Walters say it one night during an interview she was conducting, and I thought "that makes sense to me". She said something like "Of course, the ultimate expression of femininity is accepting a man into your life and body".

Sorry you found it offensive.

[kimdl93]

Interesting question. I know as a male, I have a somewhat idealized view of what being feminine is. So I put that aside and try to think about what I can observe. Women I know are much more relationship oriented, better at listening. Maybe its that emotional IQ thing.

I do find myself attending to more of the household tasks, mainly because I am just better at them!

As for making me "feel" feminine...that's where the idealized view is expressed. I love wearing dresses, stockings and heels, and although I can't pass, I love wearing just a little make up when we go out. And oddly enough, I feel more feminine now that I have some realistic breast forms. padding up with paper or whatever just seemed so fake.

[Metoo]

i just want to add the definition of femininity as well as masculine are constantly changing. What was considered feminine years now might be put into another catagory. I would to agreed with most of the responses with their definition of feminine. It is also a state of mind as well as outward behaviors

[Samantha_Smile]

The word feminine, to me is
Pink
Sexy
Long painted nails
Long hair
Frills
Lace
Satin
Stockings and suspenders
Heels
Perfume
Dangly earrings
Relaxation
Grace
Kindness
Loving
Warm
Sexy

[Joanne f]

Although the two are related to each other i think that there is a difference in being female and being feminine, female is a gender while feminine is an essence of how something is , i see that a lot see feminine as something you can switch on and off depending on what you are doing or wearing .
A male could be feminine in everything they do as a female could be masculine in everything they do , but i would agree that certain things you do can make you believe that it has made you feminine so that is a positive thing .

[Cathytg]

First of all, I make a sharp distinction between "feminine" and "female". Feminine is all about attitudes, appearances, mannerisms, and style. Female is sexual in a physical sense.

Having said that, my first thoughts regarding feminine do tend toward the obvious visual things such as clothing and make up. In that regard, when I see a woman, I make a snap judgment about her femininity in accordance with her appearance. Not fair, but that's where I go.

Regarding myself, well, that's not so easy. I think that the same level I apply to women I also apply to myself. But now I wonder where the higher things are in my ladder of values; things such as sensitivity, "womanly arts" such as cooking, holding babies, etc.

Am I really seeing myself in the same way that I am seeing women? Thanks for the question - I think.