What would you do if ???

[corynn]

As i sit here in my satin red nighty and read posts I wondered something

What would you do if you ever got an E-mail from a new member or a visitor that knows you and works with you :o

I would absolutely be mortified :doh::doh: because I was outed :Angry3:
if it was a member sure great thats fine but for example


I.E. 7 degrees of kevin bacon

What if this person knew this person that knew that person that knew you :eek::eek:

And wella you're now outed to someone at work,church,fishing team,ect..........

[TerryTerri]

Quote from a very wise book: " Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world - even if what is published is not true."

Another thought, sort of, is a blessing I have had come true: May your worst nightmare become a reality for you.

Although I am not 'out' to the majority that know me, I have been outed and several folks know that I didn't tell or wish them to know. I'm still sucking air, going to work, laughing at stupid jokes. It is not a fearful as you might think.

my 2 cents anyway.

[mylieanna]

ya know, i know exactly what you mean as i sit her in my waist high panty hose with my satin white thong, short skirt, bra, tee shirt and shoes that i have yet to kick off yet for the night. But really i have though about what you said here and at the same time as fearing it the most, i also have this urge to let it be found out so i can get on with my life. I am so scarred to have anyone i know find out about me, but inside i am begging for the oppertunity. its just me i guss.

[corynn]

I told my sister and I love her so much i wanted her to know my secret oops :doh::doh::doh::doh:

And of course her mouth is open 24/7 just like a 711 store
I told her and she told

my cousin
my half sister
one of her friends
oh and one of my male friends now :doh::doh::doh:

and that number will grow exponentially within a years time
before you know it pretty much everyone will probably find out and i will probably loose friends over it as well :cry::cry::cry::sad::sad:

[Sallee]

they weren't friends to begin with Real friends will remain friends you don't need the others

[corynn]

very true in deed how ever i still don't know if I am ready for that coming out yet

[boy2girl31]

Though at first it might be embarrassing over time you will only have those around who love you in spite of how "strange" they think you are and then you will be free to be yourself. Like they say a silver cloud has a silver lining.

[Josey]

If your outed, do those who now know say anything to you? If they do, how do you respond? I personally have enough self-esteem to counter with an appropriate remark that will set the record straight! Like me for who I am or take a hike!

[Elsa Larson]

It's called networking and is likely to happen, just as it could happen with any other interest group.

At a large support group just west of Philadelphia, I recall being aware of meetings of student-teacher, neighbor-neighbor, uncle-nephew.

When I came out to a co-worker, she told me that another person in our building had come out to her the week before.

It is all part of the process of emerging from the isolation of the closet.

[corynn]

I dont think they know how to approach me and trust me i have a lot of self esteem myself but with other venues in my life i just came out to my sister and now suddenly like 7 people know now it's kinda uncomfortable

[eluuzion]

Since I am in the "hide & seek" business in real life, I have quite a few layers of "invisibility" separating me from that becoming a reality.

But I am a firm believer in having an "escape" plan in place, prior to engaging in the adventure.

My business requires me to follow this strategy...

"Always make sure that the person your friends know as "you", is the person you would want your friends to profile, should they ever become your enemies."

If that occurred for example, on this forum...by default, that person would also be vulnerable to their presence on the forum, too...

Actually, I have always been uncomfortable with email, thinking that someday I might accidentally send my mom a picture....hehehe

[sherri]

It could be fun if the person wished to explore or exploit the situation -- in a good way, of course. :D The initial discomfiture could actually be part of the buzz.

But if he/she was a meanie, then you might have some tough choices to make.

[Lee51964]

I told my sister and I love her so much i wanted her to know my secret oops :doh::doh::doh::doh:

And of course her mouth is open 24/7 just like a 711 store
I told her and she told

my cousin
my half sister
one of her friends
oh and one of my male friends now :doh::doh::doh:

and that number will grow exponentially within a years time
before you know it pretty much everyone will probably find out and i will probably loose friends over it as well :cry::cry::cry::sad::sad:

a true friend accepts you for who you are

[kimdl93]

I was outted by my ex - and the story perculated out to counless people. Fortunately, she was so rabid with anger at the time that I think a fair percentage discounted her comments. On the other hand, I know that some people also kept that thought in the back of their minds.

Not sure what you can do once you've opened Pandora's box. Some people will be asses, some will be so uncomfortable with the new information that they'll avoid thinking about it...some might be curious and genuinely sympathetic. Who knows. A friend of mine used to say "other peoples opinion of me is none of my business"

[PretzelGirl]

I think it is a possibility, but it would be a somewhat rare thing given our numbers here. I read your message as this just being a co-worker. So if they send an email on this board, then they are just as busted. I seriously doubt the message would be hateful; it probably would be more one of extending a handshake and offering to have someone to talk to. I actually think it would be great.

But I can see that it depends on your attitude and comfort zone. I am all for meeting others and making new friends, so it would be right up my alley. Someone deeply closeted may not feel the same.

[Tina L.]

I would have to change my name, relocate and then become Tina L. full time maybe it wouldn't so bad.



Tina L.

[lingerieLiz]

Why would someone from work be on this site other than to find out about crossdressing?

[angpai30]

I went to an addictions recovery meeting last night and one of the quotes that was said that nobody knows the auther to was "True friends know everything about you and still love you" If they are true friends they will love you no matter what you do and treat you with respect for being you.

[noeleena]

Hi..
For me it was going to be all out . regardless so i knew it would be . the timing of was taken out of my hands any way . & really it had nothing to do with dressing . it was i m going to live as a woman . of cause Jos knew ,,s o ,,
once our daughter knew . it was then our two sons .i was unsure how it would effect them . at the time allmost 7 years ago .
Its going along nicely now , just one son is not accepting so time will tell .
Of cause every one knows about me so really its been good over all .
other than that i m just a woman & accepted ,

...noeleena...

[rachel_rachel]

Personally, i'm a bit more concerned with what i put on my facebook page.... I have recently posted a picture of a pair of shoes i bought, then a female friend of mine added her lot of photos from new year's eve and tagged me in them. Not to say that i'm worried by it, just if the wrong people saw the photos there might be some questions asked. Not that they wouldn't have already seem them too because i really couldn't care anyway.

[erickka]

If that happened to me, I would quickly realize who my REAL friends are.

[Daintre]

I was outed by my ex during our divorce, she used it as a sympathy chip to rally friends and family to her side. She made sure that I was painted as the bad guy. I lost some friends and life was tough for a while. The real killer was that a friend who I thought so highly of outed me to an organization which was dear to my heart and after 15 years with a youth group I was turfed because at the time dressing was viewed with scorn and it was only true friends that rallied around me, few they were but I love them all.

[Danielle76]

As i sit here in my satin red nighty and read posts I wondered something

What would you do if you ever got an E-mail from a new member or a visitor that knows you and works with you :o

I would absolutely be mortified :doh::doh: because I was outed :Angry3:
if it was a member sure great thats fine but for example


I.E. 7 degrees of kevin bacon

What if this person knew this person that knew that person that knew you :eek::eek:

And wella you're now outed to someone at work,church,fishing team,ect..........

This is why someone with this same fear, like myself, should NOT post pics including their face. Easy fix!

[Silvacd]

It is terrible to think of it...
Most likely it should to all to tell to this person..

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Well I personally have stated my CD status plenty of times on my facebook page and even into a microphone so this obviously isn't a fear for me. But even before I was out I never feared such an outing on this site because anyone who was far enough into crossdressers.con to find me here was probably not someone I'd have to worry about.

[corynn]

It is terrible to think of it...
Most likely it should to all to tell to this person..<-----

Huh ? :eek::eek::eek:
didn't quite understand that sentence sorry :doh:

[JenniferR771]

Coryann. It will work out OK in the end. A few uncomfortable moments--at worst.
I thought I was safe. My counselor got me into a 10 person support group for "Men's sexual problems". The first person in the group I met was a customer to my home-based business--whoops. No harm done. Next week one of the guys asked, "What is a crossdresser?" OMG!
The week after, I was paying my bill at the office and my diagnosis was printed on the bill for all the office girls to see "Transvestism".

[Loni]

as things are for me right now.if someone "outed" me at work, the person doing the deed...would be using there medical plan.:eek:

i know i know harsh words...just i would loose a good paying job, that has very good bennys.

but the next contract...mybe will lose all any how.

at some places and cond..anything that upsets the male "bond" is very bad.

.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I look very different as a guy so I would not have that problem online! now in person my height gives me away in some cases however again I look very different. My question is what if your family member was T and online as well?

[Rianna Humble]

a true friend accepts you for who you are

I have definitely proved that for myself in the last year. I now realise that I can count my true friends on the fingers of one hand, but it is such a joy to know who they are!

Incidentally, I am out to two of the three and I think the other suspects but hasn't asked me.

[Lorileah]

First I would say "hi". Then I would ask her how things are and if she would like to grab a beer or wine or something. I would bet someone on here knows me. :wave:

Doesn't life look just easier if you aren't hiding? If you try hard enough that seven degree thing works on almost everything.

[sonia_dargency]

"other people's opinion of me is none of my business"

I like that!

I trained my mind to being out lately, I was abroad, far away, went shopping in drab for female items. at first I pretented it was for my wife and then I just let it go: "do you have that one in my size?" - it felt great.

and then what? some did not even blink, the others took half a second to go back in sales mode.

I think if I came to be outed involuntarily, I would give them the "wadayougonnadoaboudit?" attitude and let them love it or leave it. They could always come back when they are ready.

As for the people on this site, I feel pretty safe.

Sonia

[sherri52]

My first wife outed me to everyone I knew. Most of them never brought up the subject and I never did either. Thirty years later I could care less, I'm still the same person and those that do know are true friends.

[kristinacd55]

I guess I'd get over it & become more of who I really am! The only one's I'm sorry don't know are my 2 daughters & I think they suspect anyway with the funny looking panties in the laundry every week! :)

[AmandaM]

Well, someone here and I used to work for the same company and know mutual co-workers! No biggie.

[NoraTV]

It seems to me that you are both outed to each other. That could actually be a lot of fun, if you think about it.

This actually happened to me once, with an old college friend. After the laughter died down, it was a very good experience and she is still one of my best friends; but our friendship has moved to a much better level.

[Krimson]

I told my sister and I love her so much i wanted her to know my secret oops :doh::doh::doh::doh:

And of course her mouth is open 24/7 just like a 711 store
I told her and she told

my cousin
my half sister
one of her friends
oh and one of my male friends now :doh::doh::doh:

and that number will grow exponentially within a years time
before you know it pretty much everyone will probably find out and i will probably loose friends over it as well :cry::cry::cry::sad::sad:

First of all I am not like 711 and not everyone knows. Secondly of all the people that know are people who will support you and love you for who you are and always will no matter what..

If you lose friends over this they were never your friends to begin with. I guess i am so proud of you for telling me and so excited for you that I want to tell everyone. I have been very picky as whom I have told. As for the male friend that knows he is very excited for you and supports anything you do. He is a good friend and loves you for you. Just like I love you for being you...

yes I should have been queiter about it but I am proud of you..

Love you
your sis..

[eluuzion]

What if this person knew this person that knew that person that knew you :eek::eek:
..........

That's one way to describe the "internet", is it not?

Anything you post on the internet is there "forever" and available for anyone to retrieve at any time after you post it. Any time you use any communication device that transfers information (landline phone, cell phone, fax, beeper, computer, two cans & a string, lol...etc), you are sharing it with some party that you are unaware of.

Posting on FaceBook is similar to writing it on a billboard and posting it in your front yard.

The only way to insure privacy is to have started years ago and stayed diligent in protecting your data (or providing disinformation).

If you need more info, just open//close your curtain 3 times, and I will call you...I live in the house behind you...
:eek:

hehehe...just kidding..:hugs:

[Rianna Humble]

As i sit here in my satin red nightie and read posts

Isn't red satin so nice :) Mine is a sort of burgundy red.


I wondered something

What would you do if you ever got an E-mail from a new member or a visitor that knows you and works with you :o

I'd think it was great! After all, if they are a member, we could try to help each other, and if they are a visitor it probably means they want to understand.

I doubt very much that it would be a spiteful email, but in that case I'd probably just ignore it.

I am already out at work thanks to the encouragement of a GG who works for the same manager but in a different team.

I don't think I would be "found out" since I have never posted my old identity publicly and it would be a millions to one chance of someone who didn't know accidentally happening across a photo of me and recognising "him".


I told my sister and I love her so much i wanted her to know my secret oops :doh::doh::doh::doh:

And of course her mouth is open 24/7 just like a 711 store

That's quite a mean thing to say. :sad:


First of all I am not like 711 and not everyone knows. Secondly of all the people that know are people who will support you and love you for who you are and always will no matter what..

If you lose friends over this they were never your friends to begin with. I guess I am so proud of you for telling me and so excited for you that I want to tell everyone. I have been very picky as whom I have told. As for the male friend that knows he is very excited for you and supports anything you do. He is a good friend and loves you for you. Just like I love you for being you...

yes I should have been quieter about it but I am proud of you..

Love you
your sis..

And this is just such a sweet response :hugs:

[Phyliss]

Haven't been outed on the internet , but .... in real life I've been given up. Made the error of telling my 39 yr old niece, and like the 7 11 comment about "open mouth" she's one of the main means of commnunication , telephone, telegraph, television, tell a niece. I knew she was a "talker" but I figured if I swore her to secrecy that might work, heh heh , wrong.

It seems that my hairdresser happens to also know a good friend and ... well I thought that hairdressers had some sort of "code of ethics" about some things, guess I was wrong there too. Turns out that this friend only wants to know "him" and not me. Still a friend but just doesn't want to get to know Phyliss. Guess that's OK.

As for getting an email from a co worker about having seen me, hasn't happened, probably little chance of that happening anyhow, I don't do face page, my book, or any of the social networking sites. Just doesn't intrest me.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My biggest concern is that someone would know what I look like without my make up.