The big bad Closet and the REALISTICALLY Friendly real world!

[Katesback]

I have seen posts here that have inspired me to write this post. Often we transgender people tend to segregate ourselfs from the general public. We tend to focus on safe zones and maintain our little circle of friends (often just as scarred and segregated as we are).

What happens to many of us is stagnation, boredom, depression, and isolation. Every weekend going to the gay bar (even though most CDs are not gay). Every weekend driving around in the car seeing the world through the windshield. Sitting in the mall parking lot crying because we are too scarred to go shopping! You get the picture.

What if I told you that the big bad world REALLY could care less if you are trans or not? What if I told you that 99% of all the things that keep us from doing what we should be doing are self imposed isolation. The GLBT family often has a lot of internalized shame and poor self image!

What if I told you that where I live it is not uncommon to see transgender people in all sorts of settings that are not considered SAFE zones?

What if I told you that I belong to an all women's roller derby team (my derby name is SNIP-SNIP and my number is -2). This weekend we have a big game that will have at least 1000 people there to see? Of these people there will be a lot of bikers, lesbians, sports fans, casino patrons, and....... transgender people. After the game there is always a party at a straight bar and all these people will intermingle!

Perhaps part of the inspiration that these trans people have gathered is seeing a fellow sister so deeply involved in the general world! Perhaps all those inspirational talks and tough love I have given to the trans community have been worthwhile.

Since most of you have not met me and since I cannot be everywhere, I have decided to share what possibly might be an inspirational photo album. The first link below is my photo page. It covers the last 2.75 years of my life from the beginning of transition to today. The first page has post FFS pics and all the other pages are pre FFS. Some of them are even pre SRS! There is even one in there that is WIG and BREAST forms (standing in back of my truck). Please take note that many pics show me in the general world. Yes I survived!

The next link is my video page where I have created several videos about transition. If that is something you are considering I would encourage you to take a look.

After hearing the countless stories of people that never lived thier dreams I have become edgy. If I can prevent stories of people that at the age of 60+ telling me they are TS or CD and depressed because they didnt do what they should have done 40 years earlier then I have done something positive even if it takes me being a bitch at times.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/27063499@N04/
http://www.youtube.com/user/katesback


Katie

P.S. One little favor I ask of you. Please get HIV tested! HIV is a huge problem within the transgender community and sadly there is soo little data and programs that target transgender people. As a matter of fact my program and a small handful across the country are all that exist! Your getting tested helps to bring focus and funding for expansion of programs in the United States.

[StaceyJane]

Hey, I checked out your youtube videos. They're very good.

[sherri]

I totally respect, support and even envy the things you're saying and living, but unfortunately, not all of us are in a position to be that "out". That reality is as valid as the one you've chosen. There are trade-offs either way. It takes a lot of courage and creative thinking and dedication to make the choices you've made, but sometimes I think it's an even tougher puzzle to figure out the opportunities and possibilities for people who can't break the barrier but wish to push the envelope.

[Kate Simmons]

Well that is cool Katie but the bottom line is that we each have our own personal grid program to fulfill, which is as individual as fingerprints. In that respect, one size definately does not fit all.:)

[Sandra]

From an SO's perspective :)

Going out the first time with Nigella in the big wide world was the most frightening thing that I had done. But as time went on I soon realised that most of the time "joe public" just carried on with his own business, we didn't bother them and they didn't bother us.

We have only been to a couple of TG events and to be honest we much prefer to be out in the mainstream....Now I can completley understand the fear that people have, but until you try it then you'll never know will you :)

[Karren H]

Yeah. There is nothing more enjoyable than getting out and comunicating with the public... Imho. Even if they don't understand you... By talking and mingling and acting naturally you basically force your reality on them.. And no one really cares what you wear or who you are they have way too much going on in their lives to do that...

[Katesback]

I set the stopwatch and it took Karen my biggest fan three minutes to post her typical reply. Karen Karen, did you see Avatar yet. The movie itself illustrates in a way that I cannot put into words what has happened to people that were not understood.

Once again I shall mention the concept of self imposed isolation. Why do you suppose so often trans people complain that they are marginalized? COULD IT BE THEMSELVES THAT DO JUST THIS?