Being androgynous

[noeleena]

Hi..

Being one or the other .or .....

How you relate .or like me you never related to men , even though you were trained by them .
or you spent more time with women ,yet seemed to miss out on that as well,
So you are in the middle you look both ways & know you dont belong to the mens side or the womens side . , you are really in if you like in no mans land . yet very strongly you are both ,
you incampass both you have worn both sets of clothes & still theres that little bit of dought .
so you join the women . you are accepted you get on well . you know the rules . you are closer your distance is well with in the hugging range . you are happyer . its now your life . no ? s asked. you are just one of the girls / women .
you join thier groups
.
Yet you still missed that little some thing . & what do i see . you are just you . , you join both the male & female to gether .& thats how you are wired , & see your self as being different . not as a dresser or a t s .
Just you you can & do think both ways . knowing those differences having those feeling s. not some thing you dreamed up or made up just how you are . or how you were born ,

As you accept those differentces you get on with your life . so we accept our selfs as being different yet can never truly be part of the mans world or the womans world ,
As i look at both sides . can i take from both the best of the good i see . & apply that to my self & be better than i was before . & use what i have been given so others can see that we may be different, are really, yet are still human & part of the communitys we live in . is that acceptance that we can have .
People dont need to know all the details yet can accept us as we are . of cause we must accept our selfs first ,
That has happened to me . as i am accepted .

So those of us who are androgynous how do you get on . what is life like for you . are you happy . are you content . just a few ?? that you may like to talk about ,


...noeleena...

[GaleWarning]

I know I am androgynous in personality.
I can drink beer and talk bullsh*t with the boys round the barbie.
I can also drink latte and talk lingerie with the ladies in a cafe.

The greatest compliment I ever received was from a female colleague, whose lifestyle and political views are as different from mine as chalk is from cheese.
She said, "Clayfish, I would never have thought it possible that I would ever be able to like and admire someone who is so totally my antithesis."

I treasure her comment forever.

[kristyk]

I new at a very young age I was not male, I didn't know what I was I hoped it would work itself out.
I never had guys friends or girls friends I think in a weird way I kept the guy friends away or at a distance because I was so affraid of them finding out who I really was. On the other side I always wanted more girl friends, the thought of Kristy being just one of the girls would satisfy me and complete me.

I have learned to love both isdes of myself.

KK

[Empress Lainie]

I played with the girls and was accepted by them in elementary school until the 6th grade where they wouldn't let me any more.

I was always more comfortable with women and girls than men and boys, and never had more than ONE close male friend.

Yet in my teens I dated girls like any other guy, got married, had kids, and it took me 72 yrs to have someone show me that I was really female.

[gulliver]

I've always felt different but didn't really know why until a professional told me!
I've never really liked the male of the species, preferring girls :heehee:
And I've always preferred 'girls' clothes - but not 'pretty'!
More short(ish) skirts and big chunky boots - a sort of male tank girl, I sometimes think.
I have been wary of peoples' reactions in the past but these days I've realised that most don't really give a 4x !
Although occasionally someone'll get confused by the combination of shaved head, small beard and boobs! :eek:
People in the pub where I drink don't even notice most of the time now. :drink:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi Noleena!

I read your message many times...i found your thoughts very meaningful,
you are very pragmatic and wise about how you feel...

you asked how I feel about it?

I think your thoughts are an excellent way to think about it...
i feel very much that I am best off being "myself" and trying to just be me...this situation is not perfect, but the more i think about what I am, the less I can just be what i am...sounds easy to just say "I will be what I am"....but many of us have a very difficult time with this, and spend alot of time describing it.....and honestly, isnt describing it to someone VERY hard to do?

So be myself!!! Thats what i have tried to do, and so far, its going fairly well...

i especially enjoyed seeing how confident and accepted you are...i am hoping to move in that direction~!

thanks for sharing your thoughts :hugs: Kate

[Byanca]

I thought I was androgynious for a long time. But the last 10 years I think I'm more of a woman. Something I kind of got confirmed when a man, real gentleman treated me properly during the evening and took me with him home this weekend. I had a wonderful evening. Really nice.

My TS friend says I'm no man at all. And places me between androgynous and woman. Seems about right, since I got bodily issues that causes me depression and interferes with my life.


So dunno. I dont particularly like the situation. I cry almost every day because of this. And I feel paralysed. I wish I could just be 'me'. I'm seeing a doctor in a few weeks, for the first time. I'm looking forward to this, to hear the opinion of a professional.

[noeleena]

Hi ..

Thank you all for your replys thats so neat
& yes some of us do have issues both mind & body that we have to contend with
& that makes it so much harder to deal with & all so with fact of trying to be who we are .
I am very aware of many disabilties through out my life & with in our family,
& that makes life unberable at times .
Because we are so different as well its nice to hear & get to know others ,
That all so brings us closer together that means we are not alone no matter were we are around the world ,

Byanca
I can relate to you on both counts & im glad you will be getting help be nice to know how you get on with that ,

Kaitlyn
Thank you for your comments
I do still dought my self in many ways even at 62 even when i look back & see so many changes both in my self & others its how we deal with that so i m still learning plus all the mistakes a long the way . oh & being honist with your self

You are right to much thinking & not enough living & being happy with in our selfs
of cause thats self acceptance yes with all our faults & failures ,
Confidence oh dear that has to be one of the hardest things for this kid 40 out of the first 50 years not very confident i can tell you . well got by & then only just.

I wont bore you with the ups & downs out of that 11 years of hell we went through to be confident i am now of cause yet i had to grow & by doing so i saw that if i went down i was going to struggle to get back up yes i had a lot of low points i did have help even tho Jos was going through it with me in her own way we did help each other . doing this on your own that is so hard ,
You will get through just focus on the you can do this

Thank you all again .

...noeleena...

[morgan pure]

It's good to know that there are other's like me who are so dissociative.

I am a true androgyne-i love being both-although girl a little more, but i love being strong, for instance. I love being a man with breasts.

My closet is big.

[sherri52]

I always like to play sports and did very well at them. After the game I would rather talk with the girls. Anytime I go to where there are large numbers of people I tend to go where the women are. I like to play sports but I never watch them, and there is no way I could tell you who is on what team unless it is the 1967 Red Sox. Take me shopping or for a makeover and you'll keep me in my enviorment.

[Melissa Pink]

I've always considered myself to be androgynous. The difference now is that I'm not repressing my femininity. Yesterday I told my counselor that for years I always thought I had to prove something to people. Now I'm more self actualized and happy with who I am and where I'm going. As I have said on other posts I detest labels and if someone wants to call me a "tranny" or simply a person going the the transgendering process that it's up to them.

I think our goal should be to be at peace with our selves. I'm at peace with myself! I hope everyone has a terrific weekend!

Melissa

[Sheren Kelly]

I often feel at times that I am a being a bit of both genders, but not wholly either. I have strived to present to the world my "guy" face as best I can, but there is an inner part of me that says I am merely playing at being a male. The same holds for expressing my femininity, thougt that can be more fun for me. I seem to morph into whatever I need in orderto get affirmation from others. When I am alone, I am remarkably androgenous in thought. This makes relationships with the women I have been with somewhat problematic, for as I provide them the male companionship they seek, I find myself unable to maintain that fascade continually.

[Ingrid1999]

Kelly,I feel very much the same.

Usually, Im in the risky middle. Risky because as soon as I relax too much or become comfortable or emotionaly honest I risk sounding or acting like a girl. Among guys there is a breif moment of silence and everybody acts like it didnt happen. But I notice and I can feel it happening. I am far more at ease among women and always have been.

I loved Tilda Swinton in Orlando (I love her in everything but thats another story) as she coped with how Orlando's gender had more affect on how Orlando was treated then how Orlando felt personally.

I guess the hardest part is the feeling of not being seen as myself.

[PetiteDuality]

Actually, I think that if I could dress in public in a more androgynous fashion, maybe I wouldn't have the desire to crossdress. Actually this is the way I dress lately when I'm alone.

I would probably be labeled as gay. It's not that I care, but I have wife and kids, and I wouldn't like to affect them. I live in South America, and here this is a hotter topic than in other countries.

I recently saw a guy in the mall wearing capri pants (well, actually slim jeans rolled up), tight t-shirt, flip-flops (fashionable ones), and shaved legs. It was an european style. He was very thin, and got a lot of stares.

I wish I could dress something like that still appearing masculine but showing some sense of fashion beyond the plain male outfits. Why can't guys, for example, show more leg?. Just not fair...

[charla42]

I Have read all the post on this subject and everbody has almost the same thoughts on being Androgynous. After so many years of keeping my feelings under wraps and only after my Loving wife passed away did I come out so to speak. I joined a Support Group in St Louis, bought a lot of clothes and dressed every chance I got which was everyday. Started taking Hormones which I still do. However I finally came to the conclusion about 8 moths ago that I was never going to transition. So I have begun taking the approach of just appearing in the middle of both worlds. I underdress completely every day and started letting my hair grow longer after having a Flat-Top for over 60 Years. In this mode I seem to be very happy with myself and the forever internal conflict has appeared to have gone away. Have a good day and feel free to Email any time. Sincerely Charla

[Hali]

Right from childhood i never see much difference between male and female especially when it comes to dressing i always ask why cant i wear any cloth i want without restrictions or act female now and be masculine the next hour i found myself not wanting to be in one gender for long. With that "dilemma" i realize that pple especially men just dont particularly like/respect men that look/act like women so i had to give the expected picture of me (look masculine) thinking that with time i'll just become like the rest of "normal" men ...........alas! That never happened. Then, i realize that am just different i dont believe or recognize or pay much attention to gender differentiation simple !!!!!!!!!

[morgan pure]

I present at work as a male. But my femme side has always seeped out. My wife has even scolded me for occasional gay mannerisms. For several years I was hanging out with a lot of gay guys, very gay, and trannies. I noticed it too.

Well I asked a little girl I was friends with at the time (the daughter of a friend) if I was acting too femme. She looked me in the eyes and said simply, "Don't change."

People who truly love you love you for who you are.

I saw her recently. She's 25 and gorgeous and gay. And I'm very proud of her.

[noeleena]

Hi..Hali,
I dont think i looked masculine i spos i did in some ways just not that sort of big male trucker yet i did drive big trucks & heavy farm machines & do heavy building work strong enough yet not big weighing in at 11 stone & 5 . 9 & many of our women are the same as me so i would pass as a light weight well may be , , interesting you are very much the same as me in thinking .
I never tryed to fit in or be like men or be a man it just was not me . i looked at acceptance just did not really get it in the male doman & i dont really think i wonted or needed it . it was really just be who i was / am .
Now its i am accepted as a woman & for who i am . & even over the last 2 days it has been happening . & from people, who i have never met , one, more so who asked me to join there group ..... last night & to day to come to a race relations day & pot luck dinner , thats the changes im having
& the difference for me .

...noeleena...