Is it a waste?

[Paige Milano]

My mam found I crossdress a while back and she said something that had me thinking for a long while now. She said is it not a waste buying all these clothes for nothing. Now I have bought lots and lots of clothes and shoes/boots and I havent gone out and am kinda confined to my room and so it gets to me me as I'm thinking why am I buying all these clothes if im not going out. I feel guilty spending all that money so what do you think,
is it a waste buying all these clothes just to stay in your room?

[kellycan27]

Some people collect electric electric trains and are perfectly happy playing with them by themselves.....If you enjoy it, why would it be a waste of money? Maybe one day you may just venture out so look at it this way....you will be prepared. :heehee:
Have fun!

Kel

[Loni]

sounds like it is time to have a adventure.:daydreaming:

get your face up and put on a dress and go for a walk.

first try a bit of the out of the way...but NOT were a lady would not go. danger there.

but to a mall when not many are there.work it up to full on shopping.

scarry... yes very, but you will find most others out there just do not care. heck might even make somones day...or find a gg you can like..and likes you:heehee:

.

[AllieSF]

I think that you are defining your current style and enjoying dressing up. Let's say you have a hobby like remote controlled cars. You will end up buying mod kits, replacement parts, larger motors, different gears and can end up spending quite a bit of time and money for a hobby and for personal satisfaction and enjoyment. The way I see it, that is just what you are doing with dressing up. It brings you satisfaction and enjoyment.

That being said, I think that your mother may have a valid point too. Maybe you could start going out to enjoy the real world dressed as a girl to further amortize your investment in clothes. I know that it takes courage, logistic coordination, and friends, but I think that it is very feasible for you and it would well be worth the extra effort. You would broaden your horizons, improve your experience base and have one great time doing it if you can get past the fear factor. If you are out of high school you could look at some local colleges where they most likely have some type of LGBT support groups where you could meet new friends and have some fun, as well as, get a lot of support from people around your own age. Good luck and enjoy.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Well I think when you are ready to venture out you will see the need. I tell everyone to take cautious baby steps before going out in the world.

[kimdl93]

I agree - your clothes are not any more of a waste than any other hobby. but maybe your mom has a point in that its a shame to have all those clothes and never be seen. From your picture, you look very attractive...when the time is right, why not get out into the world. Maybe take your mom shopping and out to lunch!!!!

[carhill2mn]

I think that if you enjoy your clothes, you have certainly not wasted your money. You may soon discover more ways to "get your money's worth" (grin).

[sherri]

I agree with the others, there's an easy solution here -- go out! But I wonder, was your mom's comment meant to encourage you to go out or to discourage your dressing?

[Paige Milano]

I agree with the others, there's an easy solution here -- go out! But I wonder, was your mom's comment meant to encourage you to go out or to discourage your dressing?

Yeah thats what I was trying to get at in my post but I couldn't really word it, i honestly don't know if thats what she meant and thats why I have been feeling guilty.

[Emma Leigh]

I feel guilty spending all that money so what do you think,
is it a waste buying all these clothes just to stay in your room?

Of course it is not a waste if you enjoy wearing them. It could only be considered a waste if they just sat neglected in a wardrobe. I am in a similar position to yourself, and I am not sure I want to go out!

[Babette]

A waste you say? I suppose that depends on a number of things. What did you buy them for? When I see something that I want, I buy it, wear, and enjoy. Regardless of where I wear that item, it's never a waste so long as I do wear it and do enjoy it. On the other hand, if I buy something and never take it out of the closet, then it was probably a waste.

Not everything has to be worn out of the house. I have some really cute nightgowns that will never see the sunlight. I don't think my neighbors would find me so darling in them anyway.

Go enjoy your clothes. Just remember that your mom was just providing a comment stemming from her perspective and maybe she doesn't fully understand your's.

Babette

[Lorileah]

so what do you think,
is it a waste buying all these clothes just to stay in your room?

yep.

[Stephanie Miller]

"i honestly don't know if thats what she meant and thats why I have been feeling guilty."

So instead of sitting at the computer questioning your moms reasoning... why don't you get dressed up, walk up to good ol' mom and say " I guess your right. It is a waste if they just sit in a closet. Let's you amd me go out for lunch?" :D
Be kind of hard for her to back down wouldn't it? She might even help you finish the look before going out. :daydreaming:

[Sandy Banks]

Saw your "passable" post, iy's probably time to think about going out.........take it slow.:2c:

[Persephone]

Not only are they collectables just like many other hobbies, but you are benefiting the folks who make them and who work in the stores where they sell them. Hundreds of working people depend upon us to purchase the items that they make, distribute, and sell.

[Kathi Lake]

As my wife put it so astutely the other night, "You have spent hundreds of dollars on girl stuff over the last year or so." I'm sure to her that it is a waste. Sure, I do go out on occasion, but for the most part, much of my wardrobe stays in either my closet or my Magic Suitcase. Is it a waste? My answer is two simple words; Hell and No.

Here's why. I can't possibly convey the amount of pure joy that each piece of clothing gives me no matter how many words I use - and in case you haven't noticed, I use quite a few! :)

By joy, I don't mean that kind of joy. I don't buy clothes to get me "in the mood" so to speak. Here's some examples of how clothes do make me happy:

I love the happiness that I get from shopping - the hunt for just the right piece of clothing, or at least the piece that's right now. The interaction with SAs and other customers. Although I'm sure that I'm not totally accepted as a woman into their group, I do get at the very least tolerant friendliness - and that's enough for me.

I love the happiness I get from trying things on and stepping out of the dressing room door to looks of incredulity, awe, and, well, . . . sometimes outright horror. :)

I love the way that girl's clothes feel on my body. The way they move, the snugness of a well-tailored piece that wraps itself around my curves, the feel of the fabrics, the pretty colors and designs. Women's clothing is art while men's clothing is just so much boring fiber.

I love the reactions I get when walking around. I don't care if they're positive or negative - art is supposed to provoke a reaction, right? Call me an exhibitionist. Call me a performance artist. Call me what you will, but I love giving people something to talk about.

Finally, I love how these clothes make me feel. When I dress up, I feel warm, soft, gentle, caressed. I luxuriate in the contented feeling of "rightness" that these clothes make me feel. Perhaps we crossdressers place more emotion on how clothes make us feel than GG's do - to them, they're only clothes, right? To us, they're a combination of forbidden fruit, the forwarding address of a possible final destination, and so much more.

A waste?! Not a chance. I get my money back and sooooooo much more!

Kathi

[Emma Leigh]

Extremely well put Kathi!

[SherriePall]

If you wear them, it's not a waste.

[kimdl93]

besides my wife and I can share a lot of my things :)

[Elle1946]

It is only a waste if you do not enjoy them.

[Karan]

I have the same argument with myself. I struggle with buying clothes that end up hanging in the closet. I think the money could be put to better use and it is a waste. On the other hand, I hear people spending a couple hundred dollars to go the a NFL game. What do they have to show for their money? If I spend money on something that brings me pleasure, is it any different then spending money on any form of hobby, entertainment that brings me enjoyment?

If I take care of my family, church and taxes, why do I feel guilty about buying myself a cute outfit? Ironically, my wife encourages me to treat myself.

Fianally, is it worse to waste your life or waste your money?

[sherri52]

Who are you dressing for? If your dressing for you, it is good to have changes, if you will eventually go out it is great to have changes.

[sandra-leigh]

It is only a waste if you do not enjoy them.

Even then...

My gender therapist has spoken to me about the importance of experimenting. She points out that you don't just decide that you don't like nylons: you try them out and see how you feel and decide for yourself. That's why teenage girls go through so many looks so quickly: they are experimenting, discovering what feels right to them. You don't choose an identity and then do things that match it: you experiment and build up your identity.

Thus, buying clothing is a waste only if you don't enjoy it and you don't learn anything from having tried it. Even if what you learned was just "I still don't like this style", then you have benefited -- your taste will change over time, your circumstances change, your destinations change: what was not right for you before may be right for you now.

On the other hand, of course if you are experimenting and don't know if you'll like something or not, then it makes sense to try the less expensive version of it rather than the designer version of it.