Mr/Miss Shy shockingly went out suddenly

[Dutchess]

The shyest member of this board , went out today ,,,He just went suddenly ..it was misting and cold but he actually drove me to the store, the landlords house to pay rent and to the car wash and got out and vacuumed the car .. Now he didnt have his stripper clothes on but I suggested a way he could get this done.That you do NOT have to wear gentlemens club outfits to look fem . He wore my jeans, and one of MY H-D tops instead of one of his . Of course underneath he wore EXTREMELY frilly Panties, pantyhose , a green striped bra and his breast forms. And stilleto heels under his jeans . He wore his real hair but I made him keep it down and natural ,,it is to his waist anyway .. anyway aftewards he kept asking if I thought people could tell from far away , he seems to think the old tourist people here were looking at him .. I said no one could really tell if he were boy or girl , and you cant if he is fresh shaved ,, damn I didnt take any pics either , but he did wear a coat . Anyway we were out at least an hour ...... I think if he can realize that there is more to fem than gentlemans club/ steetwalker clothes , that it would open up his femme world alot more... not asking him to adopt my 1977 stevie Gypsy look but at the same time the street walker look would attract the wrong type of attention .

Sometimes it is hard to help yet stay out of the way while he finds his own groove,,,,you know ??

[harmony]

you must be an exceptionaly gifted lady to have him fess up to it altogether!!

[Dutchess]

LOL I saw it in him clear as day within 24 hous of meeting him , he only fesses up tp bits and pieces at a time , I just listen ... No one else in his circle of family and friends at least SEEMS to know . and he has said he hasnt told anyone at all ever, but I dont know how you could miss it... I have long history of , shall we say "Avant Gard " folks in my family, so maybe I had just been used to taking a walk on the wild side ... I dont know how I saw it .

Thank you though :love::love:
Dutchess

[Kerigirl2009]

That is wonderful of you to help out your husband. This would be a dream come true if I could be as open like that with my wife. She is really trying to be accepting to a certain point. However I will take what I can get. Way to go, For me I know it would give me confidence. :)

[Dutchess]

Well for yesterday it was clear that I should just dress him or encourage him to dress like himself ,, just in reverse. Keeping with our usual lifestyle . I really just had him dress like me using my clothes and his shoes ...( I have teeny feet for some one 5'6") which he did in the house first. He didnt look like he was ready for a dinner party at Bette Davis' house , which as I said ,is great for a photoshoot but not on an island in south Texas . I am lucky he has really long, thick ,PRETTY wavy hair( last pic in the album I think has his real hair ) so really no wig is needed unless he just wants a change of style .. so that was left natural and that helped.

Then I said ,, come on ,,lets go ,, I need to go to the store, the landlord , etc etc ,, just quick with no fanfare. Then I just treated everything as normal ,,and it was .

[kimdl93]

facinating! I do think that with a woman's touch - in picking clothes, hair styles and make up - we most can acheive something much more than passable in everyday life.

[Brandi Wyne]

Lovely story, Harmony. It sounds like you read him/her well and just took it and ran with it. I'm sure she loves you for it, too.

:hugs:

[Sally2005]

You are correct. I think being bottled up inside the house and keeping the secret for a long time tends to move the CDing in to a fantasy type event...inside I was feeling like, 'can I really look like a woman?' and what happens is the male side still shows through, so I would go heavy on the makeup and go for the sexier clothes just to look feminine. But, I always had this desire to go outside and when I really got serious about trying it, I took the advice of others who said to dress down and blend. I went to the thrift stores for a couple reasons, first the cost (you can experiement without spending a lot) and second the clothes are broken in already so you look more natural and comfortable, not all pressed and starched. It took some effort to get my mindset around looking like an average woman, because I had to face the fact that the CDing means a little more to me than just a fantasy. I tend to separate my male and female self and I can grow my hair out, the only thing is around my forehead I have some male pattern so it is hard to make it look good either male or female. So, I cut it and wear a wig (it also changes my appearance a lot). One thing I would want an accepting wife to do is encourage me, but to be 100% honest if something is not looking right. It would be really cool for her to come to me one day and say, 'hey I know you like dressing up, I'm cool with it....lets shave head to toe, do our nails, get our hair styled, and go be girls for the day...It would scare me to death if she did, but I would love her for accepting me and helping me push my limits. I would want my wife to listen and participate, but not dictate...more like lets do it and see what the result is. What brings me back in my shell is any hint of a joke about my CDing (especially around anyone else) or questions like...you didn't shave your arms did you?... I would love to go on some dates with my wife as female-female or a weekend away from home.

[Dutchess]

And that was what is was becoming ,, more and more a fantasy type event like you are saying... He is more on the gender fluid side ,,way more but is sexually attracted to females . He is always saying he wishes he could be my girlfriend. Our normal LONGTIME ( decades) life ,before we even knew each other have been with bikes and the horses,,so I kept the life theme going , I suggested several outfits my girlfriend would wear if I had one ( well I guess I do in a way ) we are still our biker selves , which seemed to help with the fear , he just switched gender , everything else stayed the same ... Oh I do sometimes have to tell him no gently when things are looking bad . I know he is just learning his way but ,, oh ,, .. and no ,, no joking about CD-ing ,,it would freak him out too ,, I hear you .. Our youngest daughter that some of you know about is the most honest to him,, he is so worried about what she is thinking but all she wishes is that he just throws that *&$^ blue dress in the trash because it looks like *%#& it is so worn out.

She is right.

Meanwhile I had a wonderful riding lesson today on a fabulous old show horse and my young horse is coming along well... in other words, life just goes on.. CD-ing is just a color on the big tapestry .

[msniki48]

Dutchess...you are a little saint!


my 1st time out shopping was an impromtu thing also....i had gone to a support meeting . the night before...and all the girls were talking about going here and there.... i got visibly upset.

Woke up the next day and said Karen....we are going shopping...she said ok?!?! no i mean niki is going shopping.. and off we went. i try my best to blend with my mode of dress.... but i made it thru the day.... ok a couple of little giggles...but i survived.

Keep doing what you are doing for the lovely sweetheart of yours.

PS: i am totally bummed about her hair to the waist.....jealous!!!!

wigs are hard for every day use.

[Abbyru1]

Way cool! Hair to the waist! Really glad you so supporting.

[Dutchess]

OOOHHHH I am jealous of that hair too ladies and I amthe one that takes care of it .. I have been so sick over the past 7 years I am lucky to have the hair you see in the avatar there , although I use extensions , Jessica Simpsons , full wigs ,, all sorts of hair all the time, I am never satisfied with my hair compared to that carpet he has . His brothers have the same kind of hair ..BUT he is also hairy like this everywhere so there is a down side to it .. we are always shaving and plucking ,, he is too chick for electrolysis(sp) yet... ahh but thanks for the other, it isnt so hard ,, for some reason , I just dont care . Even though I saw it before we married , he did not disclose anything at all , I know he thought he would hide it . I didnt dig it out of him until 3 years after we married when I caught him ,, I thought he was having an online affair....

I sometimes wish some SO's could see that in todays world , this isnt the worst thing that can happen in your marriage/relationship by far, I have had worse things happen ..I was near death one time with my illness so I see things differently.I am just glad I lived through today,everything else is just details.

He is not selfish and/or somewhat rude about it and I know we have all seen selfish/somewhat rude posts here before and you ladies usually take care of it pretty quickly without us GG's having to butt in at all.

[Debra Jane]

Thankyou Dutchess, you are a lot like my wife, so solid and wanting to share life. He must be really glad that the secret is out and you are so accepting and helpful.

Life is short and true love is long.

[Presh GG]

While you're at it ,...Starting a list here,

Gosh I would love to be tall like my husband.

Her look is more main street american women. Nothing screaming " Look at me!" And it works.

Presh GG

[sherri52]

What would he do without you. He might still be trying on your shoes in the closet

[jolanda_trav]

Hi Dutchess, what a wonderfull part you play in the life of your husband. I did say this before in PM's but I repeat it here for the whole forum.
I think only a few ones of us, have such a understanding and helpful wife.

And how brave to take this step for Dutchie, hopefully more trips will follow. Have fun you both.

Jolanda