Hesitant, chicken or just not a good idea

[StaceyJane]

I'm always so happy to hear from others when they talk about getting a letter for hormone treatment. Taking hormones is something that I have wanted to do since I first heard about it when I was a teenager 30 yrs ago.

Well earlier this year I tried taking hormones on my own. I know it wasn't a good idea and soon I stopped. i told my therapist about this and we had some long talks about hormones my life and where I'm at. Soon enough she said she would be happy to write me a letter for me to start hormone therapy.

That was four months ago and I still haven't gone to a doctor. At first I had excuses,ie. no one nearby, insurance..etc....

Now I find myself thinking that I wasn't truly ready to take this step even though inside I have wanted it. I know that I am a woman on the inside and I do truly want to be a woman on the outside to but I still have issue about coming out even though my wife and daughters know and their is my job. I know so many of you have faced these same issues but for me they are tough.

Should i put my fear behind and go ahead with hormones? I would really like that.

Should I wait until I'm ready to come out?

Should I just come out?

Is having hesitation a sign that I shouldn't be thinking about this at all?

????????????????????????

[Faith_G]

Is fear the only thing holding you back? What exactly are you afraid of?

[Super Amanda]

I think that only you can answer those questions for yourself. And hesitation is completely normal, I bet everyone of us had at least one moment of hesitation in transitioning. It's not an easy or small decision to make. I think you are entering a stage of personal growth.

[dilane]

I just thought I'd throw out some considerations when taking hormones. Some of this is based on my experience. I've been on and off a couple of times.

One of the biggest considerations is your reproductive status. Taking hormones can (not always) permanantly sterilize you. Most changes will revert, but not that one. One friend took hormones for a few years, then met the girl of his dreams, they married and tried to make a baby. Even though he went off E for a year, he was rendered permanently sterile.

If you're married, taking E will likely (not always) make you impotent. Is that ok with your wife?

If your breasts start growing, and you stop E, they will shrink some, but stay bigger than they were at the start, in my experience.

The best part, imo is the softening of the skin. That makes a difference in facial passability, as well as personal satisfaction.

The physical changes are slow, and the mental changes are nearly as significant as the physical, imo. Some people (heck, a lot of T-girls) become depressed on Estrogen.

-- Diane

[StaceyJane]

I'm not worried about being sterile. I my wife had her tubes tied years ago. I've got three stepdaughters and 5 soon to be six grandkids.

The lack of sexual funtion is more of an issue for her than me.

I have small boobs already from taking hormones on my own for two months a while ago. Not real noticable but enough for me to notice and I like them.

[Hope]

I think your concerns are natural. Good Lord knows I have them. I think it would be a bigger problem if you were considering something like this and you were not concerned about it.

Here is what my therapist has pointed out to me about hormones - it is going to be a while before any sort of results are irreversible. If you decide to take them for a while and you decide you don't like the effects - you can stop. At some point the effects become semi-permanent (sterility, ED, and boobs are going to be permanent... but you already know you like the boobs, and sterility isn't an issue for you) but you have time to decide. You can at least think of the first six months as a trial period. Interestingly it is some of the most significant of the perminent effects that you seem to be most comfortable with.

[morgan51]

It is nice to see the body emerging I always wanted and couldn't have ..The progress is very gradual and most satisfying. I too still have thoughts of" is this really me" and the longer I"m on them the more I know I've made the right choice.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

One of the hardest parts of all this is that you have to decide..

Not deciding is a decision. ....and hesitating and considering all factors before doing something that is so fundamentally life altering in so many ways is not just natural , its smart.

There are many girls that dropped everything and regretted it pretty quickly...you really do have to plan and think things out if you can

[Katesback]

All these issues we take into consideration. The interesting thing is that we dont even stop to think about the risks of far more dangerous things we do. Taking a shower (yes people die from this all to often), or driving a car!!!

There are a ton of things we do on a daily basis that pose far more risk to us than taking hormones. The fact is that the typical dosages have been published by medical doctors a number of times. If someone stays within those dosage ranges and the doctor is checking your levels on occasion. You are likely going to be in good shape. Also it is good to be active and athletic. That greatly reduced the chance of blood clots in your legs.

Katie