My shopping outing today

[Jodi]

I was in Pittsburgh for another function. Headed home about 1:00 PM. Decided this was a day for some serious shopping. So I stopped at Monroeville Mall. I was in drab.

My first stop was the Ninewest store. I was warmly greeted by the manager. I have shopped there many times before. She showed me what was on sale and what was new. I selected a pair of roundtoe black pumps and a pair of black strappy slings. They had my size. I was wearing loafers without socks. She didn't even ask and brought me the nylon footies for trying on. As I was putting on the footie, she nudged me and said "great toes", admiring my dark pink pedicure. Tried both pairs on, stood up, and walked several steps with each. There were others in the store. I don't think they even paid attention to me. Both pairs fit well and I got them both.

My next stop was Victorias Secret. I had been wanting to try the new Ipex bra. When the young lady approached to help, I asked for the Ipex. She took me to the cabinet to show me what they have. This is a sales associate that has never assisted me before. I told her I needed a 38B. She began to show me the construction and what colors they had. She handed me the bra to see how the material felt. I had not told her it was for me. She looked at me sweetly and asked, "Would you like to try it on?" I said "sure". I must have had it written on my forehead. She put me in a fitting room, brought me about 1/2 dozen other styles to try also. She checked on me several times. I bought the Ipex in both black and white. If you are wondering--the feel and fit on the Ipex is fantastic. It is seamless and gives a great lifting shape.

My last stop was B. Moss. I have shopped in this store before and knew the sales associate. I found a skirt for $10. She automatically set up a fitting room and brought me several tops to coordinate the skirt. To get the total look, I put on the bra and the strappy heels with the outfit. She and the other girl there had me come out into the fitting room alcove with the outfit. to check fit and style. As I was standing in front of the three way mirror, the SA said, "comeon give us that catwalk movement". So, I had to strut up and down the alcove. Positive comments on the fit of the skirt. I did not like the fit of the tops. Got the skirt.

As I always do, I enjoyed the afternoon of shopping greatly. Maybe, I've just become conditioned, but it does not phase me one bit to try on openly.

These girls also said that they wish that every cd would be as open and relaxed. They enjoy outfitting people, and an open approach lets them do their job. They said that they can easily spot a guy who is shopping for himself and just wish the guys would relax.

Jodi

[tifftg]

Thanks for sharing this, I too am finding more and more sales help comfortable with helping us girls. They love the commissions and we sure love the support. My experiences in Victoria Secret have always been professional and very helpful. Glad to hear the Ipex is so great, I have been thinking about getting one.

Hugs,

Tiffany

[Jesse69]

Wow, I've never ever shopped like that with sales ladies helping me and trying on stuff like that at those stores.

Since your so "out" with your shopping, do you generally have people gossip about you saying that you gay, a freak, or a crossdressor? This happens to me.

Did you ever have a bad experience at another store?

[Denise01]

I bet you enjoyed your day, and yo will also enjoy your new clothes.
While I have never been in Victorias Secret, last March i was in Layne Bryant in Virginia Beach, looking for a green skirt for a st patricks day party. I was wearing mostly femme clothing but male slacks, so you would probably say I was en drab. When I asked the sales girl if the skirts fit large or small for the size she said it could be returned if it did not fit my wife. I then told her it was for me, she said really and that I could try on anything i liked. It was only a couple of minuets later she came by the change room asked how it fit, i mentioned it was too large, she went and got the next smaller size, and i was treated real well. After all if they are on commission they need the sales. I also had good experience i Dress barn, as well, but i also understand that part of the state is very accepting of transgendered people

Denise

[Jodi]

Jesse, the answer to your question is totally "NO". I do not worry what people think. I am discreet enough that I do not flaunt my cd'ing around where I live. Keep in mind that my legs have been shaved for several years--yes, I wear shorts. My nails are manicured with clear lacquer applied all the time. I also wear discreet women's clothes most all of the time, ie, jeans, tops, womens loafers, etc. The fear is in your mind. My theory is--if anyone doesn't like me or wants to gossip, they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

As for experiences in stores, I have never had a bad experience, and I have been shopping openly and trying on for about 6 years. About 5 years ago, I did have an older SA frown when I asked to try on a sweater. I asked if it bothered her. She smirked and nodded her head. I just smiled, handed her the sweater, and informed her that I would spend my money elsewhere. The manager overheard my remark. She came over and asked if there was a problem, The SA sneered and said that "he wants to try this on". The manager looked at her and said, "why can't he try it on". As I walked out, I heard the manager sternly say to the woman, "Come in the back, you and I have to talk". I would not call that a bad experience. That was just a woman that got herself a good butt chewing from the manager.

If someone gives you any kind of negative reaction, just smile, be polite, and walk out. Spend your money where they appreciate it.

As FDR put it many years ago, the only thing you have to fear is fear itself. This is still applicable today.

Jodi

[Jesse69]

Jesse, the answer to your question is totally "NO". I do not worry what people think. I am discreet enough that I do not flaunt my cd'ing around where I live. Keep in mind that my legs have been shaved for several years--yes, I wear shorts. My nails are manicured with clear lacquer applied all the time. I also wear discreet women's clothes most all of the time, ie, jeans, tops, womens loafers, etc. The fear is in your mind. My theory is--if anyone doesn't like me or wants to gossip, they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine.


The fear is not in my mind. I've been shopping for womens clothes since 1990 and the gossip has ruined me at many jobs and I don't have many friends and people in Chicago hate me here for crossdressing. I suppose all you other crossdressors have a thick skin but what good is a thick skin when crossdressing ruins you at the workplace? I am a closet cdr and I have never gone out in drag ever.

How does your xdrssing affect you at work? Ever lost a job because of it?

[Ava Mouse]

I agree Jesse,

Not that I disagree with the other posts either... But yes, there is a risk to being too open about crossdressing. While I doubt any of us would loose our jobs over crossdressing, if a manager or coworker found out, the could make our lives miserable and find other ways of making us leave.

Best to be discrete, polite and professional.

While it's great to be an advocate for crossdressing, don't put your life/job/marriage/friendships at risk needlessly.



The fear is not in my mind. I've been shopping for womens clothes since 1990 and the gossip has ruined me at many jobs and I don't have many friends and people in Chicago hate me here for crossdressing. I suppose all you other crossdressors have a thick skin but what good is a thick skin when crossdressing ruins you at the workplace? I am a closet cdr and I have never gone out in drag ever.

How does your xdrssing affect you at work? Ever lost a job because of it?

[Robertacd]

My next stop was Victorias Secret. I bought the Ipex in both black and white.

:eek:What did that run you? About $100 I would guess:eek:

I am sorry, as much as I love lingerie I would never pay $50 for a bra. You are just paying for the VS name like a status symbol.

Seriously bras are my thing, I have been studying and compairing them for years and years. I look at them from an engineering stand point noting construction, asthetics, form, fit, and function. (my wife even has me pick out all her bras now because I am better at it than her) I have found VS's construction and durability are really quite low quality for such high priced items. In a couple months there will be identical items from the more mainstreem lables, just like the Wonderbra. In fact I am willing to bet there are less than 10 (maybe even <5) actual bra manufacturers in the world.

Besides my wife would kill me if I spent $50 for a bra, even if it was for her.:no:

[Lisa Marie]

Sounds fun glad you had a good time Jodi. Angie

[Marla GG]

Jodi,

I really admire you for being brave enough to shop openly for yourself in drab. Have you ever shopped and tried things on en femme? If so, do you think shopping in drab is easier or harder?

I appreciated all the details you included about where you shopped and what you tried on. It was so much fun to read! Hope you enjoy all your new purchases.

[paulaN]

I'd love to go shoping with you. That would be a real confidence booster for me. for that mater I would love to shop with another cd sometime. wife does not realy get into it. although I do remember the time at salvation army. I got lots of stuff that day. whooo hooo.

[Jodi]

For the question on the Ipex price--the price is $45 each. Pricey--maybe, but I'm worth it.

I have shopped enfemme many times. This shopping trip was an impulsive stop. I prefer to shop enfemme. When I have my padding in, I can really see how something will fit. I can also get a feeling of the true color hue of the outfit with makeup on. I have to be cautious on leaving my house during the day while dressed. I don't have a garage, and I must walk to my car--a distance of about 25' in clear view of either neighbor. They might know I do this cd thing. It is never brought up. I am very discreet around my hometown. Therefore, shopping trips en femme, must be well planned and executed to get out of my house and back in without being observed. I have shopped in my hometown, and there are several business owners that know I do this. They are equally discreet with the info. When I do the open shopping that I have described, I am at least 40 miles from my home, maybe more. As for my job, I am retired. For the last 5-6 years of my employment, I wore many femme items to work as boy clothes, ie sweaters, dress pants, socks, and casual shoes. The only comments that I got were compliments from the women on my choice of clothing. The men didn't have a clue. For over 20 years, I was very high level management at my worksite, and it never affected my job. Probably my height of gutsiness was giving a state level professional presentation to an audience of over 100 people while wearing a completely femme outfit. The outfit was a cream ribbed t-neck and man taylored khaki pants from the Limited, opague black knee hi's from VS and a pair of black Naturalizer shoes. Over the t-neck, I wore a black femme blazer.
I was told I looked great by several members of the audience.

I do not flaunt my cd'ing, but when shopping, I don't hide it either. As I have said, I come out to store personnel so they can do their job well. My pride in going out is that my clothing is always fashionable, it fits well, and is completely coordinated. This is accomplished through the expert help of store sales people. I have been told many times, "no" on an outfit by an SA. The fit or color was not just right.

Jessie--I have no idea of how or where you shop. But, if people are following you around just to see what you are doing, that is considered stalking, and it is a crime.

Jodi

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Jesse,

Discretion is the sometimes the better part of valour. While being open is the way we'll gain acceptance eventually, it's not something to do unless you've consciously chosen to accept the potential costs.

When I'm out I'm pretty open -- although still working up the courage to go shopping en femme -- but I also don't go out in my backyard, I go up to San Francisco and some other place that's a safe distance away. Likewise, I don't shop in my immediate area (which was really frustrating when MAC put on a four-evening make-up class for CDs at the nearby mall).

If you're really miserable, maybe it's worth changing jobs and/or relocating (at least to a different part of town), and starting over. I realize it's a drastic step, but....

:hugs:

[Clare]

After I joined this forum, i got the courage to try on some femme clothing in Target.

I chose a skirt and matching jacket, blouse, and a sweater to try on. Full of nerves, I went to the change room, but whilst in the cubicle, i overheard the two lady store members talking about 'did that man just take in some womens clothes?'. I tried them on, looked pretty good, then finished and put the clothes back on the rack.

Of course it helped that it was a large store and that i was leaving town in a few weeks anyway, so it had blown up in my face, it wouldn't have really mattered.

Oh, to do that again!

Christine

[Jesse69]

Jessie--I have no idea of how or where you shop. But, if people are following you around just to see what you are doing, that is considered stalking, and it is a crime.


Jodi, I am amazed you had a very good career and was a crossdressor. Sometimes I get to the point thinking God hates me because I never had a career though I studied hard for a top notch mechanical engineering degree from the Univ. of IL at Urbana Champaign (#3 to #6 in the nation for mechanical engineering). I graduated in Dec 92 and up to now I only have 3.6 years of experience. I don't know what to do and I've been unemployed since Jan 2001! Luckily, I live with my parents and I get $734 a month in SSDI payments. I'd really like to work and make a lot of money than live on SSDI.

I don't know, but many of the companies I worked for must have spied on me after work. Because sometimes later on at work they would call me gay or know that I bought womens clothes. I am not gay, I'm just a closet cdr.

Yeah, I was spied on by the last company that I worked for. They made me go paranoid and then I punched a senior citizen at McDonalds thinking he was spying and following me around. I could have gone to jail for 5 years but instead we paid a lawyer $10,000 to help me get out of this mess and get me probation. But now my career is ruined because companies keep rejecting me because of my felony. So now I don't know what to do except keep applying, get SSDI, Medicare, and maybe I should even apply for food stamps. I was about to sue the last company I worked for but instead had this felony problem.

Last of all Jodi - I don't like most of the stuff at VS. I rarely go to VS except to look at what they got sometimes. The Satin Caress bras and panties at Sears & JCPenny are what I like. And they're cheap.

[Jesse69]

Jesse,

If you're really miserable, maybe it's worth changing jobs and/or relocating (at least to a different part of town), and starting over. I realize it's a drastic step, but....



Yeah, I talked about relocating myself in another thread that I started. It's funny how I had problems at work with people knowing I crossdress even when the company was 45 miles away from home.

I'm thinking about moving to Atlanta, GA - but actually I love everything about Chicago except the people here. And living at home with my parents saves me rent.

I wonder if I can still have a professional career after being unemployed for 4.5 years by now.

I stocking up now on womens clothes cuz when I move to Atlanta I won't shop womens clothes in stores anymore like I did in Chicago. Only ebay will do then.

[HaleyPink2000]

Ok, had a TriEss meeting coming up. My first ever. I had to , just had to go dressed for some unknown reason. My other Me " Haley " wanted everything perfect. So, at Walmart I grab a cart and did go to the dress section. Just like I knew what I'm was doing. Got a few things I did feel would look nice, while grazing the clothing "as Women do". Going to the dressing rooms was no problem. Handed the girl the clothing to count and she showed me a room to use. Glad I did as I did not actually like a few of the things after I tried them on. I did leave there “ after two hours “ with 2 nice long skirts, 2 tops to go with them, and 3 nice dresses. Oh, and a wonderful Hand bag " small clutch type". The next evening my Wife & I did go out. We bought a nice white pair of 2" heels to wear to the TriEss meeting. I even did walk up and down a few isles with them on.
Again No Problems.

What made me just go do it so boldly. Talking to the local TriEss chapter, and hearing their stories on the phone about shopping. Even while in drab mode Their comment was “ No Body Really Cares”. That moved me and I had to see for myself. Being 54 I am sure of myself and only care what people at work might say or do. Shopping in a larger town did help and a half hour from my home. So I did feel quite secure
that I was safe.

What’s next. Chicago or St. Louis shopping while in Girl mode. Tee Hee

Love to you all!

Haley:)

[mchelle]

i dont have a regular store. have shopped a few times. the first few times i took a letter like from a mistress saying i had to buy things for myself, which i got help from the salesgirls with and got some laughs w that.
last few times i just went in and told them it was for me. i got to try on a skirt in a few stores, and nighties and bra in Victorias Secret. once w a lot of help from the saleslady finding me sizes and even coming in to help w a nightie.
bought a skirt once from Torrid nice pleated plaid. and a very short skirt from another store that i got to try on, w only the short door between me and other customers as i stood in bra and panties
and last time i went to dept store and had them apply makeup and left some of it on as i walked and got looks. did shop then in fredericks and got some help w nightie and salesgirl even saw me in it.
it would be nice to have a reg store or someone to help me shop