Feminine or effeminate?

[Patti Remick]

Feminine or effeminate? I struggle with this.

How would you characterize yourself? Do you think there is a difference? How do you define each? All thought on this subject welcome.

Patti Remick

[Kate Simmons]

There can be a fine line here. Being feminine can be as natural as breathing, regardless of plumbing. Being effeminate may be close but to me it means puting on an "act" and/or not being totally convinced of who you are.:)

[Katesback]

LOL I am across the board in my presentation. Some days I am really femmy at work. Other days I toy with butch. Also I will mix it all up and confuse the hell out of my lesbian co-workers.

In any case for the most part I am just a biker babe.

[CharleneT]

Unless I'm messing up -- definitely feminine

[sherri52]

When I dress I am Feminine. If I understand the definitions correctly Feminine is acting the part of a woman or showing womanly traights. Effeminate is to actually have these traights as part of your personnallity even while in drab.

[Ruth]

I puzzle over these words too. They are only words, and are a blunt instrument when it comes to defining our position.
With the words at my disposal I'd say I was an effeminate man, but that is just not the whole story.

[Brandi Wyne]

Yes, it is a fine line. To me, being effeminite is a male in the male role exhibiting some feminine qualities such as gestures and mannerisms. Feminine, on the other hand, is actually behaving and appearing as female would in a given set of circumstances

That's my take on it anyway

[Joanne f]

I wish i could be feminine, now that would be a gift from the heavens as that would be permanent and you cannot fake that , so hopefully i pass as effeminate most of the time.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I am feminine when I am dressed and show no feminine traits while not dressed. Effeminate traits are not wrong in a male however in many cases a male who has these traits have been around girls more than boys and pick up the feminine mannerisms.

I think that the perception of men with those traits is wrong and I know some men how have the traits and are not interested in men.

[ArleneRaquel]

My mannerisms are somewhat effeminate - MsA is 100% feminine. :battingeyelashes: i i i o

[gabimartini]

This is such a good question!

I guess feminine is about how one feels and acts from within, whereas effeminate is just the act of mimicking and exaggerating female affectation.

My two cents. :2c:

[Nicole Erin]

To me -

Feminine means womanly.

Effeminate is more less gay, like flaming. Kind of like this guy I go to school with who prances around like his name should be tinkerbell. :heehee:

I mean here I am the school tranny and *I* get a kick and roll my eyes at how effeminate he acts.

[minalost]

Yes, it is a fine line. To me, being effeminite is a male in the male role exhibiting some feminine qualities such as gestures and mannerisms. Feminine, on the other hand, is actually behaving and appearing as female would in a given set of circumstances

That's my take on it anyway

I think this is correct.


I am feminine when I am dressed and show no feminine traits while not dressed. Effeminate traits are not wrong in a male however in many cases a male who has these traits have been around girls more than boys and pick up the feminine mannerisms.

I think that the perception of men with those traits is wrong and I know some men how have the traits and are not interested in men.

I've met at least a couple of men who appear effeminate and whom most would assume are gay and who are not. Also, most of the (admittedly few) gay men I've met arn't effeminate.

[suchacutie]

Tina attempts to be feminine, thus showing effeminant traits (after all, how does one act feminine without acting feminine?!)

As a male, there isn't a hint of either that I know of!

tina

[Kathi Lake]

I would say (hopefully) feminine. To me, the word "effeminate" brings to mind too many negative connotations of a lisping, mincing drag queen trying so hard to be over-the-top feminine that they are nothing but a caricature of a woman.

Kathi

[belindat]

I think 'Albert' in the movie 'Birdcage' is effeminate.

Lots of gray areas so who knows?

I like to think I'm a bit of both.

[ArleneRaquel]

As a male / MsA I talk with my hands. t

[Lorileah]

so a woman cannot be effeminate? One definition is adj 1: having unsuitable feminine qualities [syn: emasculate, epicene,
cissy, sissified, sissyish, sissy]
2: characterized by excessive softness or self-indulgence; "an
effeminate civilization" [syn: weak]


If that was true, then I know a lot of women who don't want to be effeminate and most here probably object to the emasculate part.

At least with this definition, it would be an undesirable thing no matter what gender

[Kathi Lake]

To me, definition number one is the one that I always seem to think of, which, as I mentioned, seems a bit negative.

Kathi

[kimdl93]

as Kathy L says, its hard to avoid the perjoratives associated with the word effeminate. Objectively, tho, I think the term relates to presenting feminine behavior or appearance, so any crossdressing male would hope to be effeminate.

[Wen4cd]

In my twisted perception:

"Feminine" is quiet and yielding.
"Effiminate" is loud and pressing.

[Nicole Erin]

In my twisted perception:

"Feminine" is quiet and yielding.
"Effiminate" is loud and pressing.

yeah that is about it.

So would a drag queen be considered effeminate?

[jennyscott]

Yes, it is a fine line. To me, being effeminite is a male in the male role exhibiting some feminine qualities such as gestures and mannerisms. Feminine, on the other hand, is actually behaving and appearing as female would in a given set of circumstances

Thanks Brandi. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Jen

[Dee2U]

To me -

Feminine means womanly.

Effeminate is more less gay, like flaming. Kind of like this guy I go to school with who prances around like his name should be tinkerbell. :heehee:

I mean here I am the school tranny and *I* get a kick and roll my eyes at how effeminate he acts.

I completely agree with this version of the difference between feminine and effeminate. One is a gay or drag queen thing (I hope I am not offending anyone with this)and the other more related to being a woman on the inside - which leads to feelings, thoughts and behaviour....Dee

[Kate17]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandi Wyne
Yes, it is a fine line. To me, being effeminite is a male in the male role exhibiting some feminine qualities such as gestures and mannerisms. Feminine, on the other hand, is actually behaving and appearing as female would in a given set of circumstances

Brandi seems to be on track. You very seldom here a woman described as effeminite so in todays world, that term pretty much describes a particular male. However, there are some effiminate men who are not gay. Occasionally, some men have a few effiminate characteristics - It would be a shame to characterize them as "flaming fags " or some other term of endearment because of a few flaws.

If i am in a dress and showing my feminine character - I would not want to be called effiminate. However, If I walked like I do when dressed - when in drab, then I guess I might deserve the term effiminate.

[Cheryl T]

Feminine for sure. I'm not at all effeminate, but certainly feminine when I'm dressed.

[Barbara Dugan]

I try to be feminine when I dress and I think I am fairly good at it, but even when I am not dress I don't change much so then for some people:gayflag: I can be consider effeminate.
I don't think there is nothing wrong to be either way even if you act flamboyant or over the top

[lavistaa62]

If there were a third party camera which followed us around during our day I'm sure each of us could figure it out for themselves. Having to judge our femininity or effeminateness from "inside" without the benefit of a dispassionate viewpoint is difficult. I've always thought saying a man is effeminate is more a synonym for "weak" normally physically.

[Frédérique]

Feminine or effeminate? I struggle with this. How would you characterize yourself? Do you think there is a difference? How do you define each?

I smile when I hear (or read) the word “effeminate.” It’s almost an obsolete term these days, nearly always associated with weakness in one form or another (i.e. weak, soft or unmanly). I characterize myself as feminine, according to my own definition of the word, based on my own chosen parameters for existence – your results, along with your whole take on the issue, may vary…

I’m OK with effeminacy and sissy-ness, in fact I’m not as effeminate as I’d like to be. My own effemination* is an ongoing process. I’d rather be living during a time when a male could be effeminate and manly at the same time, but those days are long gone, replaced by contemporary barriers of gender specificity, and the censure that ensues when you try to bridge the gap for reasons of personal happiness…:sad:

*Tell me – what’s wrong with gentleness and tenderness? :idontknow:

[sometimes_miss]

The feelings are feminine. The outward presentation to the world is purely masculine, to hide the truth. Effeminate wouldn't very well describe me in any situation.

[Patti Remick]

Wonderful replies from all! Id love to hear from more of you and your thoughts on this subject.

Thank you
Patti Remick

[AmandaM]

Effeminate is more like fluffy. A gay caricature. A man who limps his wrist a little too much, or talks in too much of a lisp. That sort of thing. I don't do those things even when in drag. But I do act more lithesome, demure, hold my arms and legs like women. That is feminine.