Hey, What's Going On Here?

[JustWendy]

This place must have some kind of positive hypnotic effect. I've only been a member for a week, and this morning I did something that a week ago I wouldn't have dreamed of doing. Granted it was dark, but....

After dressng and applying my makeup, I grabbed my purse and left my condo as Wendy. First, a short walk around the building to drop off my recycling, then a walk back to my car and a short trip to a local strip mall to mail a letter. I didn't expect to encounter anyone, I mean, it was 5:00 in the morning, but, don't you know, as I'm deciding on the row and space to park in, another car enters the lot and parks right next to me. I just keep thinking, don't act guilty, you're doing nothing wrong. So I turn off my motor, get out of my car, and walk toward the mailbox. On the way back, we pass each other. We don't make eye contact, but there's no double take either. It's the woman who opens up the coffee shop. I get back in my car and decide to go to the drive up to use the ATM and then head home. I decide to take the long way back to my unit and stop to check my mailbox, even though I know there's nothing there. There's someone nearby warming up his car. I surprise even myself by continuing on my "errand" and do not alter my route, walking right passed his headlights. Through all of this I'm feeling amazingly calm, just trying to remember the great walking lessons I've learned here.

I don't know when I'll go out again, but maybe a similar extended excursion soon. I can't imagine myself going somewhere in the daylight, but then again a few days ago I wouldn't have imagined taking this step. It is all due to the encouragement and advice and encouragement and support and encouragement and love that flows through every thread on this site. Each and every one of you, from the shortest "Hi" to the great stories sharing experiences, have already had a major impact on my life and I thank you all so much.

Love, Wendy :love:

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Amazing story and so brave taking that step.

[JustWendy]

Thanks, Zoe. The biggest surprise to me was that I didn't feel brave. I just felt calm and natural. I felt like somehow I would find a way to handle anything that came along, and that, if someone, especially from my complex, recognized me, it would be OK, because Wendy is a pretty great girl. Now I'm not saying I'm ready to push the envelope any further than I did this morning, but I expected my heart to jump out of my chest, and it didn't. And I've got to say, it felt great to take my heels out on a spin and see how I would do on sidewalks and pavement. Up to now my shoes have been pampered on carpet and hardwood. OK, maybe my heart isn't jumping out of my chest, but I will admit to a gigantic smile on my face.

Wendy:)

[Mary Morgan]

This really is a wonderful place. I can only imagine who I'd be today if this resource had been around when I was a younger lady. So much encouragement, so much information, so much kindness. It doesn't get any better on the internet.

[JustWendy]

Mary - we're the same age, and I agree with you whole heartedly. I find myself sometimes cursing technology because it's made us to accessible - especially when it comes to work. But in this case, it would have been wonderful to have this type of resource growing up. I think we would have understood ourselves much earlier, accepted ourselves more quickly, and presented ourselves more confidently. But the good news is, we're here today.

Wendy

[bron]

I'm always so inspired when i read lovely stories such as yours Wendy......thank you

[JustWendy]

Bron -
For most of my life I've been the reader, the inspired, not the inspirer. So if I've managed to do that this morning, then you've helped make this an extra special day for me. Thank you.
Wendy

[Tricia Lee]

I can't imagine myself going somewhere in the daylight, but then again a few days ago I wouldn't have imagined taking this step.

Don't get hung up on thinking you can only go out at night. I finally figured out that it's much more fun going out in the day. Morning is best.

It seems that people are more relaxed and less suspicious of us when we are confident enough to go out in the sunlight. They are less comfortable if we are slinking around at night.

[jennyscott]

Wendy, your profile picture is beautiful. I can't even imagine the places I would have been had I looked like you! Feel confident that your appearance greatly exceeds your self-imposed limitations. -- Jen

[JustWendy]

Tricia Lee - I know you're right. People pick up on our confidence (or lack of) and form impressions. I knew that I would have called more attention to myself this morning if I had changed parking spaces, than if I just got out of my car and mailed my letter. I believe I'll get there. I just need a little more confidence and a better concealer. Plus, at that point I'll have to be comfortable being out to my neighbors, as there's no way I can reenter my unit without being in full view of everyone.

Wendy

[kimdl93]

I do think that reading about other peoples' positive experiences helps build our confidence level. I've only been here a short time and I find myself more interested in being able to go out as myself too!

[Bethany38]

Wendy,

What an awesome leap you have made. This place has been a huge confidence builder for me. When I first joined I would never have thought of being able to go out. Heck back then I would not even talk about my dressing. Now after being here a while I have grown so much as an individual, it shocks even me. I go out sometimes. I came out to all close to me. I have made new and wonder friends. This place has helped me to be me. That is what is great about the people here. Everyone is supportive and helpful.

[sherri]

Well the cat's out of the bag now! Can't wait to see what you choose for your next adventure.

[JustWendy]

Jenny - it's amazing what the combination of low lighting and resolution can do to help a girl out :), but thanks so much for the compliment.

Wendy

Hey Bethany, it's your membership 2 year anniversary - congratulations. I hope I'm as beautiful and confident as you when your celebrating your 4th and I hit my 2nd.

Wendy

Sherri - today's outfit (which I still have on, as I'm telecommuting today) I think is up in one of my profile albums. It's the yellow turtleneck, brown skirt, brown pumps. I'm also wearing earrngs (clip-ons), bracelet, watch, and a ring. And I agree, I don't think Wendy is going to by happy just sitting at home all the time anymore. We'll see.

Wendy

[Sandra]

Good for you hun, I'm sure in time you'll be going out during the day.

Just be yourself and enjoy :)

[PretzelGirl]

On the way back, we pass each other. We don't make eye contact, but there's no double take either.

I've only just started to go out, but I have realized what you are probably now realizing. If you are doing everyday things, people treat you like you are doing everyday things. Like you said, moving the car may have attracted attention. Just doing what you planned? Simple. And a real high too, isn't it?


I just felt calm and natural. I felt like somehow I would find a way to handle anything that came along, and that, if someone, especially from my complex, recognized me, it would be OK, because Wendy is a pretty great girl.

Wow, that is great that you feel that way out of the bat. That comfort zone will serve you well in my opinion.

I am glad you had a good and successful time out. Seems like the sky is the limit! Enjoy!

[lavistaa62]

It certainly is a wonderful place and positive posts about experiences like yours only make it better. Working together and supporting one another, even through the crude tool of non-interactive electronic bits works wonders. Imagine bring all of together from around the world! I feel closer to girls five time zones away than some of my neighbors.

[Cristi]

Congratulations on your first step of a LONG journey. I'm sure you you won't be able to resist doing this a few more times. Soon you'll realize that if you can do it late at night, why not someplace quiet during the day?

Then when you notice that the world failed to end, you'll start thinking about going where there are people... and perhaps even interacting with them!

It is a long trip with many steps (and plateaus) but once you start there really is no turning back.

[Gillian]

Well done you, I wish I were able to make such a bold move even at that early hour as I live in a proverbial Goldfish bowl with my neighbours!

Congratulations.

[sissystephanie]

Wendy, congratulations on your adventure! As Cristi said, the journey is long, but believe me going out in public during the day is not only possible but something you must do!!

I am 15 years older than you, and have been a CD longer than you have been alive! Although I now live in Georgia, I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and spent a good part of my life on the West Coast. There aren't many places there that I haven't seen as Stephanie. I do understand your concerns re: your neighbors. Maybe it is time to let them know you like to dress!!

Since my darling wife passed away I go out as a guy in skirt! She always fixed my wig and did my makeup, and I am a complete "klutz" when it come to that. So I don't even bother, just dress like a lady and go!! Shopping, eating, whatever! Nobody pays any attention! As good looking as you are, there should be no problems whatsoever! Have fun!!:hugs:

[Janet Bern]

I have found it very easy to go to a macys or other Dept store and go to the cosmetics counter and ask for help .. particularly choosing the foundation. The SA's seem like they help us all the time. Just have fun
Janet

[JustWendy]

Thanks, again, everyone for the very encouraging words. And thank you Sandra for fixing my post. BTW, I've changed my outfit to include some red - in support of the day - Picture is in the "Wear Red" thread.

Wendy

[charlie]

Hello Wendy!
Now that you are starting to get out of the house I do not think that it will stop. From your picture you look great and should be able to pass on the street with little problem. People tend to see what they expect on the street. You might try to take in a movie or go to a local gay bar dressed just to see how it goes. A positive experience will do lots for your confidence and start to move your male/female division closer together. Eventually, both (no matter how you are dressed) will be just you. If we can't stop CD, then we might as well feel comfortable with it.

[Jessica_M]

You go girl!!
Great post..
Thanks.... it reinforces all of us...
Jessica_M

[JustWendy]

Thanks Charlie and Jessica and I appreciate all suggestions of things to try and places to go to help me expand my universe. I honestly don't know what my next step is because I didn't plan this one. But when I was getting ready this morning, I wasn't scared at all - I believed that I could do it. And that's a result of all the collective good will that is shared among all the girls here (and maybe the hypnosis).

Wendy

[joandher]

WENDY WELL DONE this is just the start girl ,going out in the day is great, and you will before long joining us and then thinking what was all the fuss about
just remember head up, smile,chest out,and walk as if you own the place and everything will be just fine

GO GIRL GO

:hugs: J-JAY

[Char2233]

Wendy,
first of all you look fantastic.... I totally agree with you- with the encouagement of all the girls on this site I was able to get out for the first time recently... You never forget the rush of your first time out...congrats!

[sherri52]

Wendy: it's all over now. You have had a taste of freedom, there'll be no stopping now.
Next it will be a night trip and eventually daylight. You go girl; you rock

[JustWendy]

Well I decided I wasn't going to hide behind closed blinds and curtains any more. Working from home today because of the storm and dressed in my typical skirt and turtleneck, makeup, even did my nails :o. Not a lot of people out and about today, but there was the constant flow of guys clearing the walkways and moving past my windows. At one point this afternoon I was fixing my hair in a mirror in the dining room and turned around and saw one of my neighbors just outside my living room sliders putting seed out for the birds. Don't know if she saw me, but the whole point of leaving everything open is I almost hope they do. At the same time I noticed an evergreen tree bending over from the weight of the snow and into my porch area. So I put on my new coat and gloves and went out on my porch a did the best I could to knock the snow off the tree. Was only out there a short time, but in full view of everyone if they were looking out their windows. I think soon they'll be seeing Wendy leaving the apartment on a regular basis, so they might as well catch a glimpse of her now. I don't think I'm going to go out later and clear off my car as Wendy, so that's why I'm saying, just a tiny baby step. Anyway, just wanted to share :).

Wendy

[carolinoakland]

well if it made you happy then you should do it more often. You ARE the only person who can give you permission to enjoy you're life...Carol

[Evangeline]

The longest of journeys starts with the smallest of steps, well done!!

[Kaz]

Wendy, this is a fantastic post - many thanks.

For all of us who are still in that "worry zone" when we are out, this is a positive testament to the reality... act natural and confident, you are accepted. Though you have to "look" right... and that takes time and attention, just like GGs.

On the internet and this site... this site has changed my life, full stop (period).

Thank you everyone reading this... you have changed my life:hugs:

[JustWendy]

Kaz, i couldn't agree with you more. My attitude has changed so much - about myself and about the possibilities that the future might hold. And I owe it all to the companionship and encouragement of the wonderful girls on this site.

Wendy

[Kaz]

Just keep letting us know about your "excursions" - happy to be PM'd (others may not need this?) -I would welcome it - and of course :hugs:vice versa.

[Karren H]

Totally awesome!! God that brings back memories!!

[JustWendy]

Do they include a Zamboni? :D Thanks - just baby steps, but I'm moving in the right direction.

Wendy

[Laura Evans]

Be careful, Wendy, what you are doing is addictive and you will have to do it more and more to satisfy that craving:battingeyelashes:. It is amazing what support you will find here from all the girls. Keep us informed of your adventures.:hugs:

[Andy66]

Good for you, Wendy! :thumbsup:

[JustWendy]

Hi, Laura. It IS addictive. It's like the way most of us got started dressing - one article of clothing, and then adding another, and another, as we wanted to see more and more of the feminine image appear in the mirror. Soon we're completely dressed and we're like, :eek: when did this happen. Today I got bored while I was woriking and painted my fingernails. I haven't done that in I don't remember how long. I've always been too afraid I won't be able to get it all off. I also started thinking seriously of doing something I've never even considered before - getting my ears pierced. This is addictive, but fortunately there's an unending supply of support here and the only thing it costs you is your inhibitions.

[Karren H]

Do they include a Zamboni? :D

Wendy

Not yet but I have my eye on a pink one! :)

[tamarav]

Yes, this site is addictive, but it is very supportive.

Over time I believe you will find that going out in the daylight is just as much fun as the nights simply because you are where you should be. If you wnat to and have the time to be dressed in the daylight, then do, be careful and have fun.

Do your best not to appear to be the victim and you can go anywhere and do anything you like. Hold your head up and act like you are supposed to be there.

Great step forward, now keep moving.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Wendy it gets easier as time goes by before you hkow it you will be going out enfemme always.