Danielle76
02-07-2010, 03:42 AM
Hey all,
As I've said in many posts that I've left, I am strictly a fetishistic CD, I only do it for sexual pleasure. Having said that...
I have gone through phases in my life with CDing. I will do it for a year or so, then take a year or two off, then I'm all about it again. At one point, I took 3 or 4 years away from it without a glance back. Then one night, sometime in 2006, I decided that it would be cool to get a bustier, stockings, heels, the whole bit, just cause I haven't felt them against my skin in so long. So I went out and got some stuff. That was a good night indeed, coming home with some lingerie, a couple of dresses, very good night indeed. I was living with a roommate and her two kids at the time. I always fantasized about having my own apartment, getting dressed up and walking downstairs, walking through the complex and getting into my car and driving off. Going out in public while dressed up was extremely alluring to me, but scary as hell. I always thought I had to live by myself to do this, as I had no desire to come out to anyone about my crossdressing. Then one night, the desire to do it was strong enough that I said, screw it. Everyone was asleep by midnight or so, and the house lights were all turned off, giving me plenty of cover, but I was still a bit too scared to dress up and leave my bedroom, so I put on my lingerie, then put jeans and a t-shirt over it, and put my dress and heels in a bag to take with me. When I got in my car I got fully changed, then drove off. I remember my first time walking around outside in ladies clothing. I was wearing a sheer Ashley Escante Peignoir gown, a garter belt, stockings, and heels. I drove around for 30 minutes or so, looking for some deserted spot around town. I settled on the outskirts of a construction site that thankfully didn't have security or security cameras around. I remember the wind blowing my gown as I was walking the street. Holy shit it felt liberating. It added a whole new dimension to me for crossdressing. I was hooked, it became something I did every chance I got. I always just stayed indoors while dressed up, but that all changed.
At some point in 2007, I met the girl that eventually became my wife. I knew pretty soon that she was the one for me. Going through as many wrong chicks as I have, it really helped me to define the right one, when she came along. I still crossdressed while we dated, but I knew that I'd have to stop once we got married, or so I thought.
I remember my last time crossdressing before I got married. I totally thought that it would be my last time. I was okay with that, too. After 7 or 8 months of getting married, I was starting to get the bug again, or the "pink fog" as I've seen it referred to. My wife is very trusting of me. She doesn't snoop through my stuff, and she's EXTREMELY reliable to go to bed around 10 or 11 and never wakes up until morning. Knowing this, I was thinking that I could start up again, easily keep a stash without it being found, and have freedom to dress up and go out after she goes to sleep, as well as dress up during the day while she's at work as I work from home. It's been great. I've fulfilled a lot of fantasies I've always had since I picked it back up again, such as dressing as a hot maid, leaving the apartment dressed up, walked around in public (through a casino on Haloween), pumped gas...it's been great, really. I've also filmed many hours of myself modeling all these outfits that I've bought and grabbed stills from that so I've got a huge catalogue of pics, which I absolutely love. I've spent many, many hundreds of dollars on outfits, and usually take most, if not all of it back so I don't lose much money when it's all said and done. I have kept a handful of items of lingerie, dresses, 2 wigs, breastforms, boots and two pairs of heels. As far as crossdressing goes, I've been very happy with my arrangement. However...
Lately, meaning the last month or so, my interest has waned considerably. I still love satisfying myself sexually while looking at pics of myself dressed up, but actually dressing up...it's really a chore for me these days. I still do it when I get new outfits, but really more to get the pics of myself dressed up than for the actual enjoyment of being dressed up. Once I'm dressed up, I usually enjoy it, but not enough that I find myself doing it with outfits I don't already have pics of. It's just so much damn work. Maybe I'm just too lazy to be a good crossdresser anymore...
I can't be ignorant of the fact that this is at least the 3rd or 4th time that I've considered stopping my crossdressing. However, for the other times I stopped, now that I think about it, it was me trying to stop, as I would try to stop an addiction, it wasn't me stopping because I lost interest... It's weird to think that I just may be over it. I've still got some dresses on the way to me in the mail, so I'm at least going to cd a few more times to get pics of all that stuff, but after that....I don't know. I'll probably dress a few more times just to see how I feel about it, but I may be putting it all behind me. I figure I'll give it a good 6 to 8 months, and if I still have not had the slightest urge to dress at that point, then I may just sell all the dresses and what not on ebay. We'll see what happens... If I do, I'll be sure to come back and let you guys know so you can peruse my wardrobe. For those of you who like sexy dresses, you'd probably find some gems.
Sorry for the long post. Not really looking for advice or anything, though if you have any I'm definitely open to hear what you have to say. Just felt like talking about what's going on, I guess.
It's weird, even though I don't dress much anymore, I still love shopping for women's clothing...what's up with that?!?
Peace to all.
-Danielle
As I've said in many posts that I've left, I am strictly a fetishistic CD, I only do it for sexual pleasure. Having said that...
I have gone through phases in my life with CDing. I will do it for a year or so, then take a year or two off, then I'm all about it again. At one point, I took 3 or 4 years away from it without a glance back. Then one night, sometime in 2006, I decided that it would be cool to get a bustier, stockings, heels, the whole bit, just cause I haven't felt them against my skin in so long. So I went out and got some stuff. That was a good night indeed, coming home with some lingerie, a couple of dresses, very good night indeed. I was living with a roommate and her two kids at the time. I always fantasized about having my own apartment, getting dressed up and walking downstairs, walking through the complex and getting into my car and driving off. Going out in public while dressed up was extremely alluring to me, but scary as hell. I always thought I had to live by myself to do this, as I had no desire to come out to anyone about my crossdressing. Then one night, the desire to do it was strong enough that I said, screw it. Everyone was asleep by midnight or so, and the house lights were all turned off, giving me plenty of cover, but I was still a bit too scared to dress up and leave my bedroom, so I put on my lingerie, then put jeans and a t-shirt over it, and put my dress and heels in a bag to take with me. When I got in my car I got fully changed, then drove off. I remember my first time walking around outside in ladies clothing. I was wearing a sheer Ashley Escante Peignoir gown, a garter belt, stockings, and heels. I drove around for 30 minutes or so, looking for some deserted spot around town. I settled on the outskirts of a construction site that thankfully didn't have security or security cameras around. I remember the wind blowing my gown as I was walking the street. Holy shit it felt liberating. It added a whole new dimension to me for crossdressing. I was hooked, it became something I did every chance I got. I always just stayed indoors while dressed up, but that all changed.
At some point in 2007, I met the girl that eventually became my wife. I knew pretty soon that she was the one for me. Going through as many wrong chicks as I have, it really helped me to define the right one, when she came along. I still crossdressed while we dated, but I knew that I'd have to stop once we got married, or so I thought.
I remember my last time crossdressing before I got married. I totally thought that it would be my last time. I was okay with that, too. After 7 or 8 months of getting married, I was starting to get the bug again, or the "pink fog" as I've seen it referred to. My wife is very trusting of me. She doesn't snoop through my stuff, and she's EXTREMELY reliable to go to bed around 10 or 11 and never wakes up until morning. Knowing this, I was thinking that I could start up again, easily keep a stash without it being found, and have freedom to dress up and go out after she goes to sleep, as well as dress up during the day while she's at work as I work from home. It's been great. I've fulfilled a lot of fantasies I've always had since I picked it back up again, such as dressing as a hot maid, leaving the apartment dressed up, walked around in public (through a casino on Haloween), pumped gas...it's been great, really. I've also filmed many hours of myself modeling all these outfits that I've bought and grabbed stills from that so I've got a huge catalogue of pics, which I absolutely love. I've spent many, many hundreds of dollars on outfits, and usually take most, if not all of it back so I don't lose much money when it's all said and done. I have kept a handful of items of lingerie, dresses, 2 wigs, breastforms, boots and two pairs of heels. As far as crossdressing goes, I've been very happy with my arrangement. However...
Lately, meaning the last month or so, my interest has waned considerably. I still love satisfying myself sexually while looking at pics of myself dressed up, but actually dressing up...it's really a chore for me these days. I still do it when I get new outfits, but really more to get the pics of myself dressed up than for the actual enjoyment of being dressed up. Once I'm dressed up, I usually enjoy it, but not enough that I find myself doing it with outfits I don't already have pics of. It's just so much damn work. Maybe I'm just too lazy to be a good crossdresser anymore...
I can't be ignorant of the fact that this is at least the 3rd or 4th time that I've considered stopping my crossdressing. However, for the other times I stopped, now that I think about it, it was me trying to stop, as I would try to stop an addiction, it wasn't me stopping because I lost interest... It's weird to think that I just may be over it. I've still got some dresses on the way to me in the mail, so I'm at least going to cd a few more times to get pics of all that stuff, but after that....I don't know. I'll probably dress a few more times just to see how I feel about it, but I may be putting it all behind me. I figure I'll give it a good 6 to 8 months, and if I still have not had the slightest urge to dress at that point, then I may just sell all the dresses and what not on ebay. We'll see what happens... If I do, I'll be sure to come back and let you guys know so you can peruse my wardrobe. For those of you who like sexy dresses, you'd probably find some gems.
Sorry for the long post. Not really looking for advice or anything, though if you have any I'm definitely open to hear what you have to say. Just felt like talking about what's going on, I guess.
It's weird, even though I don't dress much anymore, I still love shopping for women's clothing...what's up with that?!?
Peace to all.
-Danielle