Why do so many people think we're psychos?

[lingerieluver]

What is wrong with men crossdressing? Women wear men's underwear, shirts etc. all the time? I don't get it and it's very frustrating!!!

[Bree-asaurus]

It's just another taboo that society isn't used to so they call us witches and come at us with pitchforks and torches. My shrink made a comment to me the other day: "40 years ago we were still lynching black people." Give it another 10 or 20 years and hopefully it will be completely normal and accepted to cross gender boundries in both directions.

[Emma Leigh]

We dare to be different, we dont fit the stereotype!

[VanessaVW]

What is wrong with men crossdressing? Women wear men's underwear, shirts etc. all the time? I don't get it and it's very frustrating!!!

And Shania Twain puts out a video a few years back and everyone thinks it's so great and wonderful. Yet if a guy did that (turnabout's fair play.) People would think that it was disgusting. Go figure.

[Wen4cd]

Because we remind them of their own internal fear, self-hate, self-iprisonment, denial, mundanity, and mortality. We can cast doubt into the heart about comfortable worldviews and black and white, even as we do to ourselves. It's not that we might be psycho that bothers people, it's that we might not be.

[sherri52]

We're also not supposed to cry

[Brandi Wyne]

It's a very trendy but not P.C. sort of topic for most people. It's like someone they knew previously who visits them and they now have a condition that makes them "different". Normal is what most folks think of themselves as either being or appearing to be. We are waay off that chart for most people. For so many, esp. family, we have changed from what they knew or saw as "normal", to someone or something else and that makes them very uncomfortable.:eek:

[Tanya83]

Maybe we're just funny looking. You know, like the "Bearded lady" attraction.

[Deborah Jane]

Do they?
I've never been called or thought of as a psycho for being a crossdresser to my certain knowledge
Although it is possible I've been thought of as psycho in the past for other things I've done :devil:

[Wen4cd]

Do they?
I've never been called or thought of as a psycho for being a crossdresser to my certain knowledge
Although it is possible I've been thought of as psycho in the past for other things I've done :devil:

This has truth. It's not that people think we're psycho, but that there is always a 'part' in people who will, including ourselves.

Some people just have that 'part' out of place on certain issues, or in reaction to certain truths. They suffer for it.

[Sheila]

What is wrong with men crossdressing? Women wear men's underwear, shirts etc. all the time? I don't get it and it's very frustrating!!!

Actually I don't think most people think CDERs are psychos, and there are F2M CDERs as well as M2F CDERs :D

Maybe some of the things some peeps do make others think they are psychos, they may think you are unusual, different and wonder why, but psychos is not a word I have heard bandied about CDERS, except within the community itself :confused: :strugglin

[kellycan27]

Hmmmm.. I don't think that there as many you some people might imagine. Just look at the number of positive... "I went out and nobody and nobody tried to lynch me" posts as compared to the number of negative ones.
I am curious as to just how many can site from personal experience as a way to justify their fear, as opposed to "I heard or read this or that"? Sure, there always going to be idiots, but I don't believe that they are even close to the majority. TBPH.... I think that a lot of that fear is in your head, and not actually because society is all that un-accepting. In other words... a lot of this fear comes from within people who are un-accepting of themselves, ashamed, or embarrassed about what they are doing. It's a lot easier to cower in the closet than to face your fears head on. Blaming society as a whole seems like an excellent way to rationalize this internal fear.... for many.
:2c:

Kel

[Fab Karen]

Hmmmm.. I don't think that there as many you some people might imagine. Just look at the number of positive... "I went out and nobody and nobody tried to lynch me" posts as compared to the number of negative ones.
I am curious as to just how many can site from personal experience as a way to justify their fear, as opposed to "I heard or read this or that"? Sure, there always going to be idiots, but I don't believe that they are even close to the majority. TBPH.... I think that a lot of that fear is in your head, and not actually because society is all that un-accepting. In other words... a lot of this fear comes from within people who are un-accepting of themselves, ashamed, or embarrassed about what they are doing. It's a lot easier to cower in the closet than to face your fears head on. Blaming society as a whole seems like an excellent way to rationalize this internal fear.... for many.
:2c:

Kel

Yep.:iagree:

[msniki48]

What is wrong with men crossdressing? Women wear men's underwear, shirts etc. all the time? I don't get it and it's very frustrating!!!

Society still says it's a man's world. [ but its changing] men are supposed to be at the top of the food chain...if a woman wears mens clothes or presents a strong image, she is more than a woman.... if a man wears womans clothes or shows feelings like a woman....society has knocked him down a peg...so he is considered less than a man...

This is changing slowly, but we are not there yet. i think our childrens children will have much less animosity.

just my :2c:

[Samantha_Smile]

I think a lot of the negative stereotyping comes in no small part, thanks to mass media.
You never hear good news in the news, except for on local station's "...and finally" section, so anything you do about crossdressers is gonna be bad, and it will stick in the minds of the masses (Crossdressers-Bad/immoral/sick/perverted).
Same with anything else that news and badly made TV.
Look at what the show Cops did for black people in the States.
Every scene is a black guy getting a beat down.
They dont show the white rapist, or the chinese murderer.
Just the black guy.
Even today it's happening... When was the last time you heard something good about the Muslim faith?
Bet a few of you can think of atleast ONE person you have spoken to that holds the ignorant view that all Muslims are terrorists/evil/alquayeda (not sure of the spelling).

Theres a reason that I don't just not read news papers or watch the news, but I ACTIVELY AVOID IT!!!
And this is the reason.

Tarring with the same brush in action.

The educated of the population, you will most likely find, do not hold objection to the subject of crossdressing, and infact, would probably enjoy a brief summary of it's reasons, background and more over a few coffees.
The uneducated remember what they read in the paper about 5 years ago, it's in there, somewhere in the back of their minds, but they remember it.

In the words of RATM,
... Take the power back...

Bit of a rant there... phew, sorry about that! lol

[Katesback]

I can say one thing. Working with CDs is by far more fruitful than TS girls. Why? Well CDs tend to have about 90% less mental issues. Also CDs tend to have ears where TS girls often are stuck boob deep in the Me Myself and I syndrome many go through.

KAtie

[PetiteDuality]

I can say one thing. Working with CDs is by far more fruitful than TS girls. Why? Well CDs tend to have about 90% less mental issues. Also CDs tend to have ears where TS girls often are stuck boob deep in the Me Myself and I syndrome many go through.

KAtie

One question honey: are you CD or TS?

Just wondering how to classify the mind of someone that:

1) is totally unknowing of the can of worms that has just opened with that comment

OR

2) or that opens the can of worms knowingly...

[Emma Leigh]

The uneducated remember what they read in the paper about 5 years ago, it's in there, somewhere in the back of their minds,

These are the ones that do not,and will never understand, because they just go with the flow, they do do not have the ability to reason/ think.They can only accept the stereotype, and fear anything/ anybody, that does not fit into their mindset conformist view!

[Ashley in Virginia]

Maybe because we are a bunch of psychos????

[suchacutie]

I've seen normally very liberal friends turn ugly (no other word for it) when, in New Orleans, of all places) two drag queens walked by on the street, bothering nobody, and these friends went ballistic. I was completely shocked! This crossing the gender boundry has a lot of baggage associated with it that will take us at least another generation to overcome.

tina

[JamieOH]

besides what I have seen from people I know... and the look of disgust on my wife's face... I can tell you that we are seen by many as freaks, as a disgusting, and foul part of society that many dont want any part of...it is sad... But until many of us can become more comfortable, with who we are, and what we are... we will never get past this in society... And we will never become more comfortable with it until society becomes more at ease with it..and that wont happen till the media portrays us in a better and more realistic light.. and that wont happen till we become more comfortable with ourselves... what a conundrum..

[PretzelGirl]

I feel a major part of this supposed disparity lies in the fact that when women wanted to wear something, they did! And it quickly was in large numbers. So now those things are women's wear. In other words, we can stop complaining about women wearing men's jeans. That is so 50's. They are women's jeans too.

An in my opinion paragragh. Part of the problem is women of the far distant past were trying to bust out of stereotypical roles. Men on the other hand, seem to want to stay in them. So that is certainly a deterrent to men accepting women's clothing for themselves.

Quick quiz, if 80% of women wore BVDs, would it still only be men's wear or would it also be women's wear?

Moral of the story: if enough men go out in skirts, it will also become men's wear.

[kellycan27]

besides what I have seen from people I know... and the look of disgust on my wife's face... I can tell you that we are seen by many as freaks, as a disgusting, and foul part of society that many dont want any part of...it is sad... But until many of us can become more comfortable, with who we are, and what we are... we will never get past this in society... And we will never become more comfortable with it until society becomes more at ease with it..and that wont happen till the media portrays us in a better and more realistic light.. and that wont happen till we become more comfortable with ourselves... what a conundrum..

Trust me.. you seem more less comfortable with society than society is with you. Society can't be more comfortable with us until we become more comfortable with us. How do we expect society to change any negative images if we hide from them? Kind of makes it look like we do in fact... have something to hide. Doesn't it?

[Stephenie S]

Kelly, and several others wrote:

Hmmmm.. I don't think that there as many you some people might imagine. Just look at the number of positive... "I went out and nobody and nobody tried to lynch me" posts as compared to the number of negative ones.
I am curious as to just how many can site from personal experience as a way to justify their fear, as opposed to "I heard or read this or that"? Sure, there always going to be idiots, but I don't believe that they are even close to the majority. TBPH.... I think that a lot of that fear is in your head, and not actually because society is all that un-accepting. In other words... a lot of this fear comes from within people who are un-accepting of themselves, ashamed, or embarrassed about what they are doing. It's a lot easier to cower in the closet than to face your fears head on. Blaming society as a whole seems like an excellent way to rationalize this internal fear.... for many.

I think Kelly is right on here. I have been trying to get this point across on this forum for several years now. 99.9% of the people out there just don't give one sweet flying patootie WHAT you wear. Other than your spouse, and perhaps other loved ones who feel you need to be protected, there is a great colective YAWN about your CDing. A huge nationwide "SO?" that I can hear all way up here in northern New England.

PLEASE guys, leave this fanatical guilt and fear under the bed where it belongs. It's not becoming.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Andy66]

Allright... which one of you has been behaving like a psycho and making us look bad?

[melissacd]

There is nothing wrong with it and actually people do not think that we are psychos. In fact the plain simple truth is that they do not think about is much at all. They have their own lives and problems to think of and the good news is that that means that they just ignore us :)

[Karren H]

Yeah!! Half the time I think I'm a psycho!!

[ArleneRaquel]

Psycho is my middle name. :) i P

[RhondaLynn]

This thing of ours is much more complex than simply being an analog of women wearing men's clothes. And, women have fought for over a century to have the right to do as they please.

The general public are, well, sheep. They have been conditioned by society to believe what the collective mindset dictates. They fear what they do not understand, and the collective has not given them the knowledge to understand things like this thing of ours, so they condemn & fear what they know not. Or, they actually are interested themselves, but from fear of the collective, are compelled to condemn something that causes their thoughts to deviate from the collective's norm.

Also, to some degree, women, at least some women, fear that by our indulging in this thing of ours, that they will lose some what they hold in high respect - their femininity. These are their clothes - the source of their power - their 'fire'. They want no man to steal, or even to discover the secrets of their power, or 'fire'. Therefore, they condemn us as perverts, as psychos, as mental cases who need to be studied. Sorry ladies, i've already studied you, and know the source of your powers. But worry not, your secrets are safe with me. Oh, by the way, do you have this in a 40C?

[JamieOH]

Trust me.. you seem more less comfortable with society than society is with you. Society can't be more comfortable with us until we become more comfortable with us. How do we expect society to change any negative images if we hide from them? Kind of makes it look like we do in fact... have something to hide. Doesn't it?

that was what I said... it's a cunundrum, because they wont feel comfortable till we feel comfortable.. but we wont feel comfortable till they feel comfortable.. get it?

[Alice Torn]

Well said, and interesting points Rhonda Lynne! I could not have said it better! Some women do feel that way, that we are in forbidden territory, stealing their secret, fire. Of course, they get a free pass, in stealing the masculine things.

[kellycan27]

that was what I said... it's a cunundrum, because they wont feel comfortable till we feel comfortable.. but we wont feel comfortable till they feel comfortable.. get it?


Well, they have nothing to lose.. so looks like the ball is in our court. What cha gonna do?

[Sheila]

Well said, and interesting points Rhonda Lynne! I could not have said it better! Some women do feel that way, that we are in forbidden territory, stealing their secret, fire. Of course, they get a free pass, in stealing the masculine things.

okay I will ignore the ref to women wearing masculine things except to point out we wear em out and about and don't give a flying rats azz who sees us wear em ............... so you see we ain't ashamed to borrow masculine things to wear, we don't hide it :D

[baby beluga]

because as a whole our sense of style and fashion is mind-bogglingly bad.

[Sheila]

because as a whole our sense of style and fashion is mind-bogglingly bad.

I don't think it is :) ........... many look terrific & I ain't no fashion model :D

[crusadergirl]

psychos i never knew ppl thought of us like that. Damn all that hiding was for nothing ppl never knew i was just your normal person that watches smallville and reads game informer.
This is bad

[girlalex]

Don't base it all of one bad experience. there are more than less people who accept us and many others don't even care. and if they look at you in amusement i bet they wish they had the same confidence as us. and why is that alcohol gives you more confidence lol:drink:

[Starfire Jade]

Well there is MANY reasons for this. And its a hard truth to accept.

First off. Go on myspace and look up differant Crossdressing groups. Do this and you will notice a pattern. What do you see? You see that 70% of the Crossdressers are faceless, they only upload pictures of their unattractive rear ends in panties or thongs. Some of the CDs I met are full blown perverts. So at the moment, we don't have a very flattering image.

Second, a good portion men will lie to their wives and significant others, some even more dishonest ones will go as far as to steal from their wives wardrobe without permission. Because of this, we are commonly viewed as dishonest.

Until the community in general gets its act together, there always will be intolerance.

[noeleena]

Hi.

I would have to say for acceptance you may need to look a ways out from the states .i did think that if the home town you lived in, to be out & about you would need to move away , not so unless its so redneck that nobody would wont to live there any way & yes in oz e there are a few place s like that tho i v not seen it so same detail i got on well with people there as well ,

we, Jos & i live in waimate in n z & i m well known . & in our two bigger towns & again well known . so what does it take for acceptance , for my acceptance i told people what i am who i am & why . simple really , it was not those people who needed to understand who i am .

It was i, who needed to accept that others would accept me, thats the problem , & yes we as kiwi s in the main accept difference more easyerly
,i m not saying every one , i dont get hassled , people look as most people look at any one to see how they are dressed . what they have thats different ,

Dont you do the same , you talk about others looking at you . so turn it around see it from there space then you might find the problems you think you have are really not there .
Do you smile at them when you pass even say hi . oh may be not . i do to many people . & again not every one as many are deep in thought or looking down , so what or how do you act or react in your daily lives , & what changes when you are dressed as female s ,

...noeleena...

[trisha254]

Well like most of the girls and I do mean girls ,There are alot goimg on in life that we feel needs to change and most will in time some of us would like that sooner so would I, but as was written the news is not helping any of us and this has to stop we all need to get back helping each other in all way , I feel that us gals have been blessed we can see and feel bolt sides and from this site I feel has help me become more lady like in all the niceer ways,P.S MY girlfriend and I were taking about the same thing the other day she also feel like I do , and has said to me many a times she love the bolts of us ,I also have not been outsude but someday that shopping door will open and then the world,

Trish

[Joanne f]

There is nothing wrong with it and it is our job to show society just that ,
( might be a good idea to keep me locked up though):bonk::eg::nailbiting::Pullhair:

[Jeanna]

Transvestites are portrayed as psychos in movies so maybe that's how people identify with us. As you know there are few people that doubt Hollywood or the great Dr.Phil. But in reality we are mostly hated by the male populous. They fear us and don't worry they fear the gay men too.
But sometimes when I get dressed up I ask myself if I'm losing it ? or have I totally lost it?

Jeanna

[green89]

Allright... which one of you has been behaving like a psycho and making us look bad?

guilty lol i think well be accepted in a few years and be portrayed as a person and not a weirdo

[Frédérique]

Why do so many people think we're psychos?
What is wrong with men crossdressing? Women wear men's underwear, shirts etc. all the time? I don't get it and it's very frustrating!!!

Psychos? You mean psychopaths? Like Norman Bates in Psycho? Mental illness? :eek:
I think it comes down to laziness, lack of interest, unwillingness to see the inherent variety in life (or purely the lack of inquisitiveness), etc, etc, etc. Some people do and think the way they are told or taught, while others make up their own rules for reasons of personal happiness. I fall into the latter category, and I don’t think of myself as a psychopath. I’m here, so I might as well look around and explore a bit while I can, trying everything available to me – not to do so would be criminally psychopathic, thinking in terms of psychological well-being…


We can cast doubt into the heart about comfortable worldviews and black and white, even as we do to ourselves. It's not that we might be psycho that bothers people, it's that we might not be.

Very well said. I’m not, therefore I am to others who are or may be themselves, if that makes any sense…:idontknow:

[Emma England]

The only psychos are those people who are close-minded.

[kimdl93]

Trust me.. you seem more less comfortable with society than society is with you.....

I think in the end Kelly hit the nail on the head. If you're uncomfortable with your own self image, you probably assume "society" is as well. Most likely society doesn't give a rip.

But from what I've learned about you so far, you're a young person just beginning dealing with a lot of issues that every human faces...in terms of their sexuality, social acceptance, etc. Its completely NORMAL to have doubts, to be curious, to be self conscious, to explore as we become ourselves...a process we all go through (I mean all in the most inclusive sense).

[victoriamwilliams1]

It's just another taboo that society isn't used to so they call us witches and come at us with pitchforks and torches. My shrink made a comment to me the other day: "40 years ago we were still lynching black people." Give it another 10 or 20 years and hopefully it will be completely normal and accepted to cross gender boundries in both directions.

I must agree with you here!

[Nicole Erin]

Allright... which one of you has been behaving like a psycho and making us look bad?

Sometimes I like to carry around an axe or chainsaw when I am en femme, laughing uncontrollably in falsetto.
(Notices the glare she is catching)
WHAT?!?! I didn't do nuthin! :Angry3:

I mean the cops find ONE body in your car trunk or blood stains in the closet with body parts and right away it is "Oh these TG's are psychos!"

[Lorileah]

Allright... which one of you has been behaving like a psycho and making us look bad?


um---that would be me:wave2:

The population is general has an agenda. If you don't interfere with said agenda, you don't get noticed. The media also has an agenda. To get attention. You don't get attention when you aren't noticed. Everyday people are not noticed. SO the media needs to get something noticed. Man in dress robs bank...that's news. Man is dress goes to grocery, not news. It has been that way forever. Do your job, do it well...not noticed. Go into post office with .357 noticed.

Until we make the media quit using us as pawns to get butts in seats (Psychos and clowns) and start portraying us as members of society, we get to wear those labels.

[JamieOH]

well,as for me, I am now wearing exclusively female jeans, I will not buy another pair of mens ever again.. and I am also wearing some women's shirts, though they are somewhat androgonous in their style.. But they have a shape to them, and are very comfy... I wear women's shoes, flats, look somewhat like a semi-casual men's shoes.. It's a start... I always underdress, and that includes bra.. my wife knows, and she doesn't like it much, but is being ok with it.. It's a far cry from a dress and heels, but it's a start none the less... And I must say my butt looks real cute in them jeans.. ;)

[nikkijo]

well,as for me, I am now wearing exclusively female jeans, I will not buy another pair of mens ever again.. and I am also wearing some women's shirts, though they are somewhat androgonous in their style.. But they have a shape to them, and are very comfy... I wear women's shoes, flats, look somewhat like a semi-casual men's shoes.. It's a start... I always underdress, and that includes bra.. my wife knows, and she doesn't like it much, but is being ok with it.. It's a far cry from a dress and heels, but it's a start none the less... And I must say my butt looks real cute in them jeans.. ;)


slowly my entire wardrobe is getting replaced by "womens things" to the point my "redneck" friends think my everyday clothes are still guy stuff.... ha ha NOT!!!

all my jeans are womens.. all my underwear.. all my socks, 4 of 6 pairs of shoes/boots..


litterally for me differences in my "drab" look and my "enfemme" look is hair and makeup, and bra style... and how i chose to put the outfit together... but if you saw me on the street in my normal day to day look even a trained eye would be hard pressed to know that every thing i was wearing was from a female section of a store

[crusadergirl]

Thanks to all that make us look like psychos how can we live like this.
Now i have to start over again this is a pain.

[Shelly67]

There is a stark reality to us all here - as a race of beings called humans we are all creatures of darkness . One mans reality and lifestyle will always be anothers jealousy or fear . We have tools of communication far , far greater than that of the basic telephone but still we do not communicate . Time has moved on , boundaries moved and dented but not broken . The ignorance of man will always be fuelled by desire turning into conflict .
I agree, there are some who walk amongst us adding to the label of pervert and perhaps even psycho through the way the live theyre lives and behave ...it's undeniable . It's too easy to label people , group them into a non society accepted collective . It'll never change .We question and never really listen - think about it we even do it with religion . One is always wrong . I also think that the act of secrecey and silence will do more harm than good enforcing old beliefs and fears , thus controlling the situation , resulting in denial and ignorance and generalised scorn.
The plain truth here as we look back at our being is that we still do not communicate . We are bathed and controlled by fear - rbuked and humoured by the media . And you know what the reality is - history will always repeat itself .




Goodness , I need a drink after that !

[EnglishRose]

psychos i never knew ppl thought of us like that. Damn all that hiding was for nothing ppl never knew i was just your normal person that watches smallville and reads game informer.
This is bad

Oh no! Instead of people thinking we're psychos, they will think we're console gamers :D

[Kate Simmons]

Who said that?Point 'em out. I'll show 'em who's a psycho.:)

[AnnaBMarie]

I remember a college thesis that examined the role of how the mind instantly categorizes new stimuli in order to make sense of all the data coming in.
A simple walk through the mall exposes a person to hundreds, perhaps thousands of sensory elements that the brain has to process to make life coherent. Among those elements encountered could be a CD that disrupts the coherency of the data. Only because it's somehow different than what the mind expects, the encounter triggers a more extensive evaluation. Most of the time this takes place without conscious thought. It's just the brain reacting to stimuli without any direct input.
Now that the observer is keyed into something in their environment that it doesn't expect and is re-evaluating, prior information and perceptual sets kick in and the observer is seeking to tie the new stimuli with something they know or think or feel.
If that connection is benign or positive, no harm is done and the observer can participate in a beneficial encounter or simply not react at all. If, however, the observer has a negative cognitive library from watching too many Jerry Springer episodes, the perceived CD may rigger inappropriate reactions ranging from hostile looks to outright aggression. These reactions, while frightening, are relatively rare.

The vast majority of people encountering us on the street are curious but don't have any good icebreakers to start a dialogue. We ourselves are often shy and don't make conversation easy for fear of our voices, posture, etc., making us readable.
I find myself constantly encouraged by the acceptance we are finding in stores and out in public. I wish we could be more overtly influencing ambassadors and advocates for ourselves, for it's this positive exposure to the public that changes their perceptions and ultimate acceptance of us.
AnnaB

[bron]

Well said Anna...the reality is....it will never happen. We, cd's in my case will always be a minority, and you know how minorities are treated. So....we {a lot of us} remain in the closet. Some of us happy to do so. In my case i am half out of the closet. No problems so far. Just frustrating. Bron

[Mirani]

Because it is very newsworthy - the knicker-nickers, those who commit offences whist dressed. The press cant get enough of that.

Like any community we have our "odd-balls" and offenders .. sadly we can be tarred with the same brush!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/02/03/cross-dresser-given-asbo-continues-to-wear-schoolgirl-uniform-at-school-gates-115875-22014979/

nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean?