Gender Identity

[Lucy_Bella]

This is just all in fun and strickly my own thoughts,

I think a lot of not only about crossdressing but why I have the urge to dress as a female.

I think back to those early days as a young boy trying on my sisters panties and dresses. My brain wasn't aware of any sexual desires , so why was I doing this at such a young age? It wasn't a steady process as I grew older and sometimes the urge would disappear for months or even years , but the thought was always there. I would see a pretty girl in a dress and think " I want to wear that"

As I got older it aroused me , seeing the ladies wearing short skirts and nylons even getting a panty shot every now and then . I spent years with this on going battle between my two genders I was assigned or at least assigned in my mind.

It started to arouse me to wear womens clothing , starting out small with pantys and slips. But as the years went past my urge to dress and appear more like a lady grew and everytime I added things to feed my desires the more I feel in love with what I saw and how I felt.

I soon started to not only feel the part but look the part as well leaving the acting like a lady part aside or for at least know. Is this Gender Identity ?

Or is this behaviour common? Have others started this way? I don't feel the urge to act or move like women do , I enjoy being a man even dressed, is that odd?

I think from reading many threads here that these are normal behaviours , I feel or for at least right now, that I have peaked in my Gender Identity . I have found satisfaction with just dressing and no longer getting aroused while doing it.

How do you feel about your progress in dressing does it ever peak? Am I right in suggesting it does?

Thanks for reading.

[NathalieX66]

T'is the issue I've wrestled with for 38 of my 43 years. My inner psyche has won the battle.
All I do now is keep me whole..... The boat sails wherever the wind is most favorable.
I am happy, and at peace now.
:)

Anyone, please let me know if this is an obtuse & ambiguous answer. If so, I'll keep you guessing.:D

[Alice Green]

For me it feels like the other way around, I've felt one way, and started dressing to, really, just feel better about who i am and how I feel.

[SuzanneBender]

I always looked at the girl or woman and thought I want to be like her so I can be who I am. I really didn't care what clothes she was wearing.

[Byanca]

It's the same with every girl, only they start as kids and after 18 years or so, they start to become a woman. All these small things add a little here and there. And together it create an identity, I suppose. There is also the mysterious feeling where you belong and what you want to become and also is.

[Gillian]

I keep trying to figure this part out too. I ,,,,think,,,, I started to notice feminine things around 5 myself and only got the opportunity when in the house at around 12 or 13 and my mother had left a dress and jacket folded on the end of my bed that she had forgotten for taking from the airing cupboard (in my room) as this was no ploy on her part I add,,to the trash.

I had an overwhelming desire to try the dress on and it fit. I then had limited chances but it was always a turn-on of sorts but then immediately huge guilt as the testosterone belt hit after pleasuring myself.

Now however, and it only hit me yesterday in a snatched hour alone in the house, I do it as I adore the way I feel dressed the weight of the breasts the curves that the waist of the skirt create all be it small but if it were not for the face and neck (heavy and even when short dark! stubble) I would have no hesitation in going out. That I don't isn't now down to buying a good foundation but the fact I live in a goldfish bowl and have radar neighbours, It's hard enough to slip out the rear to the garden, but I digress.

I feel very feminine when fully dressed and adore the feeling of the wig falling over my face and on my chest as it brushes, the feeling of the skirt restraining my gait and the discomfort of a full day in heels.

[Tranny Tee]

Lucy Bella, I culd have written the same thread almost word for word. The more I learn about why we become crossdressers the less I know and the less I care. I don't know why I have been dressing for years but I have enjoyed the trip.

[gabimartini]

Hi Lucy,

I've recently posted a few things on this subject. Here are the links, if it interests you:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2036893#post2036893

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2037980#post2037980

Hope this helps a bit!

[kimdl93]

You've described a very normal journey for any young person in terms of reaching a comfortable gender identity. As you'll see from so many of us, cross dressing represents a diverse assemblage of interests, from simply enjoying the feel of the garments themselves, to the desire to feel, act and be accepted as female. I even think that defining ourselves somewhere between two gender poles is somewhat misleading. I think of a three dimensional model - with each individual's array of needs, experiences, biology, gender-expression represent a unique point in that universe.

[JustWendy]

Lucy Bella - don't limit yourself by imagining that there is a peak. I think how you feel, while it feels like a perfect fit for you today, is going to continue to evolve. In my 20's, my crossdressing definitely had a sexual overtone. In my 40's it was about the clothes - the look and feel. I didn't have a wig or any accessories, and I walked around like a man in a dress. Today it's about the appearance and having the opportunity to appear as feminine on the outside as I feel on the inside. I'm sure in my 20's and again in my 40's I thought, "It can't get better than this!" but I was wrong, at least about myself. This is so much better. And as good as this feels, it's exciting for me to know that I probably still haven't peaked..

Wendy

[sherri52]

I started out with a dress and later progressed. The under garments were the last to be added to my dressing. I even wore hair pieces before panties. Now I wear it all and want more of it. 50 years of dressing and I think I have finally peaked.

[minalost]

Hi Lucy,
I think that a lot of us started down this path the same way you did. I know that as I've gotten older the motivation or focus has changed somewhat. It's become a lot less sexually oriented and more gender roll oriented. I just enjoy being dressed enfemme.
:hugs:

[NicoleScott]

I'm a part-time dresser and happy to be a regular guy. When I was only about 4-5 years old, I had an interest in feminine things: looking at pretty models in catalogs, admiring women who wore high heels, pretty hair and dresses, and perfectly applied makeup including deep red lipstick. At this age, there certainly wasn't a sexual aspect to it. I didn't begin to dabble in wearing things until about age 10. Lipstick & high heels, mainly. Then into my teens I gradually added other things until I was dressing and making up fully in my twenties. From my teens up to now there was and is a definite sexual arousal aspect to crossdressing, and it is almost entirely for that reason. What I don't understand is what attracted me at such a young age, long before it could have been a sexual thing, but then it became a sexual thing and hasn't "matured" (as others like to put it) beyond that in the decades since. The things that attracted me then still do it for me now. Could I have had a fetish for lipstick and high heels (et al) even before I was able to be aroused?

[Nicola2876]

I had an interest in feminine things way before puberty but when puberty hit I got a real kick from wearing womens clothes especially tights. Then I would dress to just be me and still sometimes got aroused. Now it just makes me feel like me and that's how I like to dress. I feel I should be a woman as that's how I feel on the inside. Dressing gets me closer to matching my appearance with how I feel

[Lucy_Bella]

Thank you everyone for your replies:)

It is very interesting how some of us travel the same path , how we progressed in our gender's . It is amazing how so many ( I thought it was just me for a long time alone) have gone through simular phases through out our stages of life.

Very good stories thanks again all..

[jasmine57]

I agree with Suzanne. The clothes don't mean that much, it's being who I know I am.

[Frédérique]

I think back to those early days as a young boy trying on my sisters panties and dresses. My brain wasn't aware of any sexual desires , so why was I doing this at such a young age? It wasn't a steady process as I grew older and sometimes the urge would disappear for months or even years , but the thought was always there. I would see a pretty girl in a dress and think " I want to wear that" Is this Gender Identity ?

Is this gender identity? How about gender exploration? It can be sexual, tactile, or simply born of curiosity, but, at least at an early age, it’s innocent. Yes, look at that pretty dress –I want to wear that! Realizing you can wear it is the beginning of a lifelong journey into the interior…:)


Or is this behaviour common? Have others started this way? I don't feel the urge to act or move like women do , I enjoy being a man even dressed, is that odd?


It’s not odd to enjoy trying things, that’s for sure – do it more often, in fact do it as often as possible. You can always return to your “default” shape and appearance if need be, before venturing forth into the unknown once more. Freddy knows what she’s talking about…:heehee:

[sandra diaz]

Lucy, this is a subject that no one understands. About 20 years ago( when I didn’t have internet) I talk to a Psychology because it was hard to understand how I’m happy to be a man but I love to be a woman when I’m dress in Feme up to the point that act talk and behave just like one. He told me that it was perfectly normal to be that way, however nobody has an explanation. Don’t look for answer, just feel it and live to your fullest. Kiss Sandra

[Cathytg]

Does it ever peak? Good question.

I am 65 and I think I may have "peaked" at this point. I do not want SRS and I do not need to be 24/7. But I do want to dress often and I do want to do it completely with make-up, body shaping, etc.

[Ruth]

Sorry to pick around with your words but over the years it has been progress in the expression of my CDing rather than progress in my CDing, if you get my idea. I'm the same CDer I have always been, but as years go by, with practice and greater confidence and self-acceptance, I am able to CD more easily and effectively.
So I don't think one should expect to reach, or pass, a peak, but maybe reach a kind of plateau, where you mostly know what you want and can achieve it.