Big BooBoo

[Mya Summers]

Well here I go. New years eve my wife and I went out with some friends to celebrate, the evening and night were going well even after falling off of a stripper pole and breaking 2 bones in my back, but that didn't stop my fun. On the ride home I leaned over and told my wife's friend that I was a CD'er, and she didn't act weird about it, and I showed her picture's a few months prior and told her it was for Halloween. That went well actually, it wasn't till we dropped her and her daughter off till s^*t started to hit the fan. Me and my big mouth started something that shouldn't have been started. I in my drunken state of mind came out and told my wife that I wanted to be a woman :doh:. For 2-3 hours we talked and argued over this subject, needless to say in the end my wife won. It was so bad that she told me to get the hell out of the house, which did not happen cause we both calmed down and started talking as adults with out yelling at each other. It also put a damper on my dressing especially when she is at home. It's amazing at how stupid one can be when they have alcohol in their system. I look back at it and realize how close I really came at loosing my wife and kids, and home because of what I am and what I do. I truthfully think that this blow out my wife and I had has brought us closer together, but pushed Mya further away from me. I now walk on eggshells thanks to my stupidity and drunken state of mind that night. The one thing that get's me the most right now is that she is so intrigued about shows on TV now that has stories about CD'ers that are coming out of the closet and voicing their ways on national TV. Yes I sit and watch them with her and just watch how she reacts to it. I just so wish that she would understand more about it than what she does.

Sorry about venting like this girls but I had to get this off of my chest since I have been holding it in since the first of January, and no one else to talk to about it with.

[Mya Summers]

Ty Irene, I am trying to get that figure back, I put on about 15 pounds since then and trying so hard to get it back which is a pain, but I have the Wii Fit now, so it shouldn't be to much of a problem. You as well are looking good.

[Gillian]

Oh I know alcohol can do these things so easily and for that reason since Gillian came back to me, I am always very very careful of how much I drink as loose lips and all that.

I think you have to let the dust settle some on the situation and then very carefully gain back the situation. It will happen as your wife will feel hurt and upset but ultimately realise it is fuelled by the booze so patience should pay off.

I wish you very sincere good luck in the task and hope to hear about the positive from it soon.

[Mya Summers]

Thank You Gillian, I know that one day things will be the way they where but it's going to take patience. I just wish I would not have said a thing that night, but you can't take back what has all ready been done. I know in time things will get better.

[kimdl93]

Yeah, booze can get the best of anyone. I do think a little time to reconnect and relax would be a great thing. As for your daughter, I'd consult with some professional help before addressing the issue any further with her. I'm sure she has some concerns and probably needs to talk them out with you failry soon.

[melissacd]

Mya,

Unfortunately your desires won't go away and your wife's thinking about it won't go away either, so you need to get and keep a dialog going with her about all of this, your needs and her needs and how you can manage them and both be happy.

I pushed this aside for almost 10 years after I came out to my wife and it created awful side effects that eventually ended a 25 year relationship.

It is better to deal with it now and risk ending the relationship than to spend a long time with both of you being unhappy and possibly ending up ending the relationship anyway. If you talk about it now before it has a chance to fester then perhaps you can achieve what I did not.

Melissa

[gabimartini]

Mya, it was bound to happen as people can only keep secrets for so long. Despite your alcohol intoxication, I feel it was better for you to have told her, than she finding out about it on her own. Can you imagine her finding your frilly lace undies or femme pics on the computer? Or worse yet: your kids finding out first and then telling her?

I believe communication is the best remedy. It is not easy, it doesn't happen all at once. You need to establish the channel so that you guys can discuss it in a mature way. I just think that avoiding to talk about it won't make problems go away on their own. You should know by now that avoiding Mya won't work either. Can you fight the urge to pee? Only for so long...

Food for thought. Maybe you guys should seek counseling. Sometimes having a 3rd party mediator helps each spouse address their issues, needs, frustrations and expectations.

My two cents. Hope it turns out OK for you.

[dana 1]

darn booze, been there done that

[Lucy_Bella]

They don't nick name booze the truth juice for no reason..

Good luck hope all mends with the wife.

[Karren H]

Yeah... My wife won't even watch shows like that.. Click....

[Karan49]

Mya,

Did your wife know about your crossdressing before you shared this with your friend? If she did or did not know, what was her reaction to your sharing this information?

Do you want to become a woman? If you do, I think it would be wise to share this with your wife as she has a right to know what your needs really are. You wouldn't want her to hide this information from you. How would you feel if she were a FTM and was afraid to share that with you?

Good luck with this situation and I hope you keep the lines of communication open and honest and without manipulation.

Karan

[Fran Moore]

I'd just like to give you a hug.........:hugs:

Suzanne

[eluuzion]

I've been married/divorced 3 times. So I can suggest some different bottles of wine to try, or maybe a good orthopedic surgeon. But the rest...you are on your own...good luck. :hugs:

[bron]

I can relate so well to your issue about being wasted and telling your friends. I did the same thing late last year when i came out to my partner and a few friends. I told someone over the phone which i later found out was overheard by her daughter. they are both ok about it, so it worked out fine. They couldn't care less about my cd lifestyle. But i f i was not shitfaced at the time i probably would not have told anyone.