Counseling Advice

[Cheyenne Skye]

I recently got a referral for a counselor with experience in gender issues. Not trying to stereotype, but judging by the picture on the person's website, I would guess she has gone through all this herself. I went to couples therapy with my wife for a while a couple years ago. My cross dressing did come up but nothing ever came of it. So now I'm thinking of getting some counseling for myself to see how far across the gender spectrum I really am. I often think I would be best off if I could just present as the mood strikes me. If I wake up and want to go out in skirt and heels or just ripped jeans and a t-shirt, either would be acceptable to me. However, my wife doesn't believe this. She is supportive, however she thinks I should be all male or all female. She hates when I dress and don't shave (I have a beard). She thinks it should be all or nothing. I sometimes wish I didn't have to shave so I could easily slip into whichever role I chose for myself that day. This is the sort of thing I need to work out.
Oh yeah, there was a question in there somewhere.:doh: So when I call to try and make an appointment, is there anything I should ask them?

[Super Amanda]

Everyone's going to tell you that you're going to have to come up with your own questions....after all, who knows you better than, well, you!

Address any topics you think need exploring.

Unless you're asking how to go about getting a appointment to address your gender issues?

[Hope]

It sounds to me like you are in a great place to see a counselor, and ready to do the work... was there a question?

[AllieSF]

I agree with what has been said so far. I also have a recommendation regarding shaving. Why not do laser and/or electrolysis treatment? That way you can make your wife and yourself happy, and eliminate one of her issues regarding you dressing and not shaving. It is a win-win situation for both of you and will help you focus on your other issues with less distraction. Good luck.

[Stephenie S]

You want to know the secret transgender questions to ask on the phone? Do you have the secret decoder ring? Sorry, dear, if you had the decoder ring you wouldn't be asking this question. I could tell you, but then we'd have to eliminate you.

Seriously now, that was a silly answer, but you asked a silly question. Well, they say there are no silly questions, so I apologize. But here's the way it goes. Seriously. Really.

You look in the phone book, or talk to friends, or talk to your doctor, or just call a therapist cold. You will not talk to the therapist right away anyway. You will get his/her answering service or a recording. You give the answering service or the recorder your name and a good time to call, and that's it.

THEN, when the therapist does call you back, you broach the subject of your gender confusion. And that's just what you say. "I've been having confusing thoughts about my gender lately. Is that a subject you are comfortable with and is it within your scope of expertise?" That's all. The therapist will say yes or no. If he/she says yes, then you make an appointment. If he/she says no, then you ask if they have a suggestion as to who to call.

The first session will probably be kinda boring. Some paper work, and some questions to establish your background information. If you don't like the therapist don't go back. Find another one. Remember you are paying them. If you don't like them it's gonna be a waste of time. Also, don't lie and always tell the therapist EVERYTHING. It's only a waste of your money and their time if you don't.

I have seen four therapists over the last five years. I have a lot of experience. PM me if you have any questions.

Stephenie

[Cheyenne Skye]

Sorry if my post came off a little confusing. I've thought about doing this before, but couldn't bring myself to call. I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and do it this time. My feelings wax and wane from time to time and now they are at the front of my mind. So I should just do it while I'm obsessing about it.

[morgan51]

best money I've spent so far and going for over a year now. Try it