Marc
02-16-2010, 07:54 AM
So last night I asked NiCo to email my mum about myself and my hopes to transition, which he did accordingly. I was really nervous but it got to the stage where I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore and really needed to start doing something about it NOW. This is what he said:
Hi J*,
(old name) has requested that I email you this to tell you something that could potentially shock you. (old name) is trans-gendered just like I am and wishes to transition to male. He told me a long time ago, I have known since we were both children but of course it’s been kept quiet because he’s been scared how you would react. The thing is, he’s seen how loving my parents were towards me before I told them and they were open minded towards trans-gendered people [my mum had a trans-woman friend] and then when they discovered I was male, they disowned me…you’ve seen how my mum is acting about it all, refusing to accept Nicholas exists…well, he has the same concerns.
He feels like you will feel disappointed and angry with him, after all he is suppose to be your only “daughter” and felt for a long time that he had to live up to that. He can’t do it anymore. He’s told me to write this email because he can’t bring himself to do it and cracked today and told me to just get it over and done with because he can’t handle it anymore and wants to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.
He’s sorry if you do feel very upset and angry with him, he wanted to try his best and live how he was expected to, but he can’t go fooling anyone anymore nor lying to those he loves. He’s about to have a nervous breakdown.
Also to let you know, our relationship is not over, I always knew he was male and I always respected that, after all I know exactly how he feels =[ I have treated him like a man when we are in private because I didn’t want people to click on about him, exposing him to potential hate, or uncomfortable questioning.
I’m sorry if this seems sudden and shocking to you. I really am sorry but I know exactly how he has felt over these last few months watching me progressing in transition life, while he’s stood still looking on. It’s been hard. And I know it will be hard for you, and for his little brother C* and everyone else directly involved but know that I will stand by him no matter what he chooses. I love him.
He’s requested I mention that it would probably be good not to contact him for a few days, he’s scared of your reaction, and he’s really nervous about it all…but feel free to contact me, perhaps he might soften if he realises everything is okay with you?
Anyway, I’ll leave you to process this. Take care and I apologise if this has upset you, it was neither of our intentions. I promise.
Nic x
This morning I received a text message which went a little like this:
(old name) I wont pretend this is not a shock, I’m saddened you could not talk to me and a little hurt! But I love you very much and always will no matter what happens. P.s- I want my dress back x
I think this is a brilliant reply to the email that was sent.
I also called the Gender Dysphoria clinic today, the same one NiCo attends, and they have given me my first appointment for the 19th May. I’m so happy with the quick appointment time, I expected to wait way longer than 3 months! It’s all moving so quickly now but that is what I wanted, I have found my courage and I’m not holding back now. NiCo is very supportive.
Well that’s all I have to say, I’m very excited about what’s to come but also quite cautious as I’ve seen first hand how stressful and distressing it can be.
Hi J*,
(old name) has requested that I email you this to tell you something that could potentially shock you. (old name) is trans-gendered just like I am and wishes to transition to male. He told me a long time ago, I have known since we were both children but of course it’s been kept quiet because he’s been scared how you would react. The thing is, he’s seen how loving my parents were towards me before I told them and they were open minded towards trans-gendered people [my mum had a trans-woman friend] and then when they discovered I was male, they disowned me…you’ve seen how my mum is acting about it all, refusing to accept Nicholas exists…well, he has the same concerns.
He feels like you will feel disappointed and angry with him, after all he is suppose to be your only “daughter” and felt for a long time that he had to live up to that. He can’t do it anymore. He’s told me to write this email because he can’t bring himself to do it and cracked today and told me to just get it over and done with because he can’t handle it anymore and wants to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.
He’s sorry if you do feel very upset and angry with him, he wanted to try his best and live how he was expected to, but he can’t go fooling anyone anymore nor lying to those he loves. He’s about to have a nervous breakdown.
Also to let you know, our relationship is not over, I always knew he was male and I always respected that, after all I know exactly how he feels =[ I have treated him like a man when we are in private because I didn’t want people to click on about him, exposing him to potential hate, or uncomfortable questioning.
I’m sorry if this seems sudden and shocking to you. I really am sorry but I know exactly how he has felt over these last few months watching me progressing in transition life, while he’s stood still looking on. It’s been hard. And I know it will be hard for you, and for his little brother C* and everyone else directly involved but know that I will stand by him no matter what he chooses. I love him.
He’s requested I mention that it would probably be good not to contact him for a few days, he’s scared of your reaction, and he’s really nervous about it all…but feel free to contact me, perhaps he might soften if he realises everything is okay with you?
Anyway, I’ll leave you to process this. Take care and I apologise if this has upset you, it was neither of our intentions. I promise.
Nic x
This morning I received a text message which went a little like this:
(old name) I wont pretend this is not a shock, I’m saddened you could not talk to me and a little hurt! But I love you very much and always will no matter what happens. P.s- I want my dress back x
I think this is a brilliant reply to the email that was sent.
I also called the Gender Dysphoria clinic today, the same one NiCo attends, and they have given me my first appointment for the 19th May. I’m so happy with the quick appointment time, I expected to wait way longer than 3 months! It’s all moving so quickly now but that is what I wanted, I have found my courage and I’m not holding back now. NiCo is very supportive.
Well that’s all I have to say, I’m very excited about what’s to come but also quite cautious as I’ve seen first hand how stressful and distressing it can be.