Is it like this for you?

[Lucy_Bella]

For a long time I have always thought it was about the clothes, then I moved up to appearance. But now I am finding that it's not so much neither one and don't get me wrong I have my moments when I feel it is about those things.

What I have found is ,once I have found acceptance with myself and the ones closest to me. All I have been looking for was just that.

Acceptance!

I now understand that this part of me that has lived in denial, a dirty secret of a life style if you may. Was surpressed , it was a important part of me that was forced to be hidden and I still do for the most part. But the longer I shoved it under the rug the more it grew for attention,

I was so starved that I started to get over whelming urges to leave my safety nest of home and expose myself to strangers and take a risk of being seen by those who may know me.

Is this what drives us into doing things we would normally never do? Does it have us dress more than we have in the past or make it a game of trying to pass so we can go out without notice?

Feeding the urge to be accepted?

[kimdl93]

oh, I think you're onto something there. At least in that any behavior that feels forbidden or taboo can become something of a secret obsession. In that circumstance, being able to come out of the closet can take away some of the appeal of the forbidden.

On the other hand, if you really enjoy wearing feminine attire and reach a point where you can do so openly with your SO and/or friends & family, that level of acceptance takes off all the pressure.

[Karren H]

What drives me to do things I normal wouldn't... Most likely sheer stupidity!! As far as acceptance.. I don't really care if anyone accepts me or what I do... I'm still driven to do it no mater what they think.

[Lucy_Bella]

oh, I think you're onto something there. At least in that any behavior that feels forbidden or taboo can become something of a secret obsession. In that circumstance, being able to come out of the closet can take away some of the appeal of the forbidden.

On the other hand, if you really enjoy wearing feminine attire and reach a point where you can do so openly with your SO and/or friends & family, that level of acceptance takes off all the pressure.

Kim,

Well said and yes somewwhat true isn't it.. To take off some of the pressure!

I think that is why so many of us come here, it's like a tea pot on a stove we reach a boiling point to were we just need reach out. Try and gain some understanding .

[JustWendy]

When I was still living with my family, I used to leave for work very early in the morning. I'd make the 1.5 hour drive en femme (no make up or wig), cover up adequately in the parking garage when I got there, and then change in a bathroom once I got to work. It still makes me shake a bit when I think of the risk I took, but it was the only opportunity for me to dress. It wasn't my first choice to go out in the cold cruel world. Now that I'm living alone and dress most of the time that I'm home, I'd like to be able to just grab my purse and run an errand when I remember that I need something at the store, waving to my neighbors as I head to my car. Instead I change my outfit and remove my makeup, just so I can pick up some milk. I don't want to test limits or look for excitement. I just don't want to have to think twice about what I'm wearing or the color of my nails. I just want to be able to go (after a quick glance in the mirror to make sure my hair and makeup are ok).

Wendy

[suchacutie]

Ok, would it be neat for Tina to go wherever she liked and be assured that she was assumed to be "Tina" by everyone without any issue whatsoever? Of course. Is that what I need? Certainly not yet. I need to understand Tina. When I can say with surity that I know who she is and what she can/cannot do, then I might turn externally for those goals. Right now my goals and needs are very much internal.

tina