Bit of a moan over misunderstanding

[Samantha_Smile]

As some of you may or may not be aware, Emma is brilliantly accepting of my CDing, helping me along with it to boot.
The last few days though things have been testing.
Ive been trying extra hard to do nice stuff for her and make her feel appreciated, but my attempts to be nice have been misinterpreted as selfish acts. (I won't go into the nitty gritty. Me and Emma have discussed this part of the matter and we understand eachother's POV, but the fact remains that misunderstandings have taken place.)

Then last night as I was setting out for then night shift, she's really quiet with me before I leave.
When I get to work she texted me to say sorry, and that she feels inferior and not enough for me.
I text back to tell her it was nonsense, and that she is the best thing in my life, that she IS my life.

Our shift patterns this weekend mean I wont see her until sunday, and it's got us both really down.
Ive bought her some flowers this morning and arranged them (cack-handedly) in a vase for her for when she gets home and Im not there, also a little note telling her I love her.

Has anyone else had a GF/Wife/SO being jealous of the female alter-ego?
If so, how have you worked around it?

[Stephanie Miller]

Sure have. Best thing I found to help the first time, was to put Stephanie away. I let my wife tell me when she was O.K. for her to come back. In the back of my mind I knew there was a timeframe that was acceptable to wait, since it was a part of me and we would have to go our own ways if she wan't able to handle it. But it did turn out that she needed time to process the situation. In the first case it was about 3 months. This has turned up periodicly since, but not as a put Stephanie away for good but more of a my S.O. needed a rest from CD'ing.

[Tamara Croft]

Not jealous, but I guess you get fed up with it, especially if you're doing it a lot. How often are you dressing now? Maybe things are going too fast? I know you've not long told Emma and maybe she's about to hit one of those walls... where you're accepting one minute, then it all gets too much and you're not accepting anymore. What exactly are you doing for her to make her think that? And are you dressing after you've done it?

[Samantha_Smile]

This week Ive dressed twice.
Once with Emma (for the pics in the gallery) and once on wednesday night when I was staying up untill morning when I was setting my body clock for the night shifts (Emma knew I was doing this)
Emma was due awake at 9am, by which time I had planned to be undressed cleaned up and off to bed in time for cuddles when she woke up. She woke up early needing a wee at 8am.
And I was sat in the living room fully dressed when she was all bleary eyed.
At this point things had been okay, it was after this that she went quieter.

I know in hindsight that it may have been a shock, but I fail to understand how this would make her feel not good enough.

It's left me feeling pretty down. Guilty feelings have returned, but for different reasons than 4 weeks ago, and dressing en femme is the last thing on my mind right now.
The last thing I want is to hurt Emma or push her away from acceptance.

Thanks for listening

[Loni]

i have no so (wife or girl friend), so here is hoping things go good for you and emma,

loni

.

[KandisTX]

My third wife grew jealous of Kandis toward the end, she would become very upset when Kandis got more attention than she did.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Brandi Wyne]

Well, all the comments and your experiences don't bode well for my marriage and the future.

Perhaps, she feels that she's in a losing competition with someone who is also her S.O. Maybe jealous is a bit harsh but insecure? Most likely so. Solution? None that would satisfy everybody. Best of luck on your situation.:thumbsup:

[tinalynn]

I'll bet she's just a bit overwhelmed right now. Back off the dressing for a while... My wife sometimes says she's not enough for me because she doesn't accept/encourage my dressing as much as I would prefer. Its her way of saying its getting a bit much for her. There is no such thing as a 'perfect' relationship, so if she's worth keeping do what it takes to do so. That normally means stop dressing for a while - you'll just have to deal with it.

[Samantha_Smile]

I'll bet she's just a bit overwhelmed right now. Back off the dressing for a while... My wife sometimes says she's not enough for me because she doesn't accept/encourage my dressing as much as I would prefer. Its her way of saying its getting a bit much for her. There is no such thing as a 'perfect' relationship, so if she's worth keeping do what it takes to do so. That normally means stop dressing for a while - you'll just have to deal with it.


Heres the thing.
Backing off from dressing isn't a problem, that is untill I get a strong urge. But recently I guess the freedom to do it has caused me to dress just becuase I can (years of repression or whatever, I dont know really) but I wouldnt say its been excessive by any means.

The part I cant fully grasp is that Emma actively participates in me getting dressed. Infact on sunday, she suggested we both get dressed up to take pictures.
I know she's playing the supportive role which I think is amazing given the circumstances, and I couldn't love her any more for it, but Ive only looked as good as she has made me in a way. Maybe Im being a little harsh in my lack of understanding, but I can't work out why she got upset when she made me up.

Good news is, she loved the flowers, and she's missing me as much as Im missing her while were working oposite shift patterns at the moment, so all is not terrible.

Thanks for listening to me ponder and moan some more.
You guys are awesome
-x-

[Charlena]

Sometimes people just have moods (myself included) the flowers were a very good idea. Maybe something else is bothering her... sounds like you two love each other very much, best wishes to you both.

[Stephanie Miller]

" Maybe Im being a little harsh in my lack of understanding,"

I personally don't think you're being to harsh, per say... I just think you're trying to understand what even your wife DOESN'T understand. Her own feelings. She is trying in her own way to wrap her mind around this. And in doing so may take it where she thought would help, but evidentily doesn't. Kind of a trial by fire. My own wife does this, and on occasion, we start something where after getting into it that I sense is going the wrong way. So I elect to stop, where she would hesitate because of "guilty feeling" for starting it. Sometimes, like you, the urge is extremely strong but I still have to keep Stephanie away because it's for the better. "Excessive" doesn't come into play here. Dressing AT ALL does. Sounds to me like your trying to have your cake and eat it too. Keep it up and you'll end up with just crumbs in your life.
But then again, that's just how I see it.