Why does this happen...

[switcheralso]

I enjoy the desire to crossdress and when I have a sexual encounter with a women I get acceptance to dress. I have chatted with males and when we meet and have an intimate encounter I'm not dressed. Yet I explain that in email exchanges that is a goal. The males just don't want to be a part of the C/D

The question I have is why do I get more acceptance from the female to allow me to crossdress then I do from the male friends I meet?

[Engendered]

Maybe it's easier for girls to get a male, so they're more willing to explore something different, whereas for guys seeking other guys, it's much more rare, and they're much less willing to compromise.

Random theory in the dark. :)

(Also, mad generalization, for men, a large part of attraction can be about the visual, whereas a woman can appreciate the person more, regardless of what they're wearing.) That's just wild speculation though.

[Nicola2876]

Maybe the guys want a guy and not a guy who looks like a girl. The girls may be more open to experiment.

[tinalynn]

I agree with Engendered's wild speculation - men are tuned for visual stimulation much more than women are. Men tend to like what they see in front of them before thinking about anything else. Women (and I know this from several girlfriends and my wife) look more at what's behind the scenes, the type of person you are, more so than looks. Yeah first impressions always include looks, but I think women are more likely to go beyond that than will a man.

[Kate Simmons]

Who knows really? People are unpredictable to say the least.:)

[Maria in heels]

Maybe it's easier for girls to get a male, so they're more willing to explore something different, whereas for guys seeking other guys, it's much more rare, and they're much less willing to compromise.

Random theory in the dark. :)

(Also, mad generalization, for men, a large part of attraction can be about the visual, whereas a woman can appreciate the person more, regardless of what they're wearing.) That's just wild speculation though.


I think that you nailed this one down for us. If I were looking to have a relationship with a male and I am not a crossdresser, I don't feel that the cd'er would have anything to offer me. Females do indeed tent to look deeper into the "soul" of a person, and can recognize that the feminine side of us is what they are after...

[kimdl93]

I agree with Engender, it seems that gay or bi guys interested in m/m - may find even fem attire contrary to thier desires.

[sterling12]

That's also my understanding. There are a lot of males in The Gay Community that are turned off by effeminate behavior, or anything that reminds them of a feminine persona. But, there are people within The Gay Community that have no problem with your lifestyle. But, as of yet; you just haven't found a person like that.

It's also worth noting, that because you found some females who accept your femme-self, doesn't mean you'll get acceptance from ALL women.

It seems obvious....Acceptance is an individual thing. I wouldn't expect uniform behavior from a particular sex or class of people. Maybe, your just hanging out with The Wrong Guys.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Lucy_Bella]

I'll take a stab at this... IMHO the males you attract are seeking your male features not your fem side because the are attracted to MEN.

While the females you attract IMHO are not shallow like most men and understand .

Just a guess

[LisaAlexander]

Yeah basically, allow me to generalize a little.. if a guy is gay, he likes men, so why would he want to be with someone who resembles a woman... and in my experience, there are so called hetero guys who like ts and cds because they dont resemble a guy, they think its some kind of loophole to get out of being called gay hehe, sometimes its just a sort of transition into their curiosit of being with a guy, sometimes theyre bi but they like the feminine, sexy touch a lot more (like me :)) the best of both world some say :p but of course, as always, there are always point in between... just like Sterling said not all women will accept it. Take my girlfriend for example, she's very openminded about people and their sexual preferences but she feels there's something wrong with the person if they want to be or dress like the opposite sex... but its basically lack of knowledge, she's one of those that thought that dressing up means you were gay from the get go... now she knows thats not the case :)

[Stitch]

While the females you attract IMHO are not shallow like most men and understand .



I think that's unfair to brand men as shallow for that. It's not shallow to have sexual preferences. If a man is gay then its understandable that he will be attracted to male characteristics rather than feminine ones. I love my Cding boyfriend to bits, but I'm heterosexual and so I'm not attracted to his "femme" side at all. His male side though, that's another thing all together. :heehee: I don't think its being shallow at all. It doesn't mean I'm any less accepting, just that I want a man in the bedroom.

[sherri52]

Women are always looking for a man with sensitivity. Dressed as a woman they may feel that they are getting someone with a little more than the average man. A man is most probably looking for masculinity and does not see that in a man in a dress. If he wanted a woman he would go after the real thing. This is only a guess

[Lucy_Bella]

I love my Cding boyfriend to bits, but I'm heterosexual and so I'm not attracted to his "femme" side at all. His male side though, that's another thing all together. :heehee: I don't think its being shallow at all. It doesn't mean I'm any less accepting, just that I want a man in the bedroom.

That is what I mean , by saying that and without knowing, you came accross as not being shallow.:D

Nothing was mentioned about sexual preferanceon my part tho.

[Frédérique]

The males just don't want to be a part of the C/D
The question I have is why do I get more acceptance from the female to allow me to crossdress then I do from the male friends I meet?

Huh? Would you expect otherwise? Males are programmed from birth to be male, meaning if you were born male, you are told (and taught) how to be male. That's when all the problems begin. It happened to me, but I was blessed with a sensitive and shy nature, so I just gravitated away from expectations. It’s the really special males who step out of their assigned roles and look around for alternatives. They are even more special if they explore this hidden path (crossdressing), meet others like themselves, and promote their chosen activity as beautiful and worthwhile to all who choose to hear it. How many males would have a noble, manly thought about crossdressing? Not many—they are told what to think about, how to behave and what is expected of them, even by their peers. Darned if most of them actually do what they’re told. I don’t get it, but I was excluded from this pack-mentality thinking ever since kindergarten. Call it self-control...:heehee:

Oh, I wanted to fit in somehow, bit I didn’t, so I went off by myself and found my own way. Guess what? You’re allowed to do that, but nobody tells you that you can or should. I’m guessing many females would accept this “different” kind of male, at least initially, with a certain sense of relief. Other females want what they've been told to want. It’s a good thing most males want nothing to do with crossdressing – it just gives me a more focused “group” to be in opposition with. Same as it ever was...:battingeyelashes: