What would you do?

[Nigella]

A bit of a rhetorical question here.

Quite often we have threads on the forum about the trouble some members are having with various aspects of their relationship. Sometimes it may just be a case of unburdening themselves, others it is a plea for advice/help.

So now the question. What would you do if this forum did not exist, how would you deal with the hiccup in your relationship. Would you not seek the advice of maybe a professional? Why rely on complete strangers, who have no idea of what YOU are going through?

[sherri52]

I don't believe in "the proffesionals". Why is it that marriage councilors always seem to be single. How is it that a councilor for dressing has never dressed as the other gender. Would you wear a raincoat in the shower? Without a forum like this I would still feel as if I were the only one. I would still be out and about as I did that in 1974. I would just be lonely in my quest and not have learned some of the things I have here to make me more presentable

[Deborah Jane]

So now the question. What would you do if this forum did not exist, how would you deal with the hiccup in your relationship.

Go out and drink a lot like I always used too
It may not solve the problem, but it helps you forget it exists :drink:

[mklinden2010]

It was a long time ago and I had no money for outside help anyway. I went to the library and found some books on the subject. I was not happy with a lot of what I found because that didn't seem to be my experience, my life, that they were talking about.

But, after I came across various studies that ranked things on a bell curve, I began to see that there was a place for me at or near some point on the curve. Not only was I not "alone" or "strange," I had some idea where I fit in the universe of people who crossdressed, were transgendered, bi-sexual, homosexual, etc.

Armed with that knowledge, I was able to come out to myself and others without it being "me against me, or, me against the world."

[Nigella]

Go out and drink a lot like I always used too
It may not solve the problem, but it helps you forget it exists :drink:

Yep I agree a couple of :drink: helps for a short while, but the problem is still there when it wears off, and sometimes even more so cos we had a :drink: or two. :straightface:

[Vieja]

Lucky me. I never thought I needed help so I just relaxed and enjoyed being who I am. Whoever that may be?


Vieja

[leslie ann]

i'de get alot more stuff done ! cause everytime i come on here i seem to spend hours here :drink: :drink: seriously though this place is like a little piece of heaven so VERY HELPFULL and interesting !I thank GOD we have this place, and I know its helped lots of people understand wtf is going on with us as I also thought that "am I the only one with this issue" :eek: so a very big thanks to everyone here!

[Kate Simmons]

Before this place I had been a member of a TG Org for support. As I progressed though, I went out on my own as the Org was moving too slow for me. Prior to that I had therapy, not for the CDing but how to deal with my family and friends who could not deal with it. Before the TG org I was mostly on my own and became a viable person in my own right. It really depends on who you are and what you are able to handle my friend.:)

[JenniferR771]

Library had zero information. Bigger library only slightly more. Adult bookstores slightly more, yet. Felt so alone. So glad I found the internet. Then met some local cds, and local groups--felt so much better.

[Nigella]

Sorry Peeps, bit of a clarification required here. This is not about what you would do about cding, it is about what you would do in your relationships, please read the OP, it does say a hiccup in your relationship

[abigailf]

I would be a member of another forum ... or I would be looking at porn.

[KimberlyJo]

A bit of a rhetorical question here.


I guess I'll just think about my answer instead of typing it out. :D:devil:


I would be a member of another forum ... or I would be looking at porn.

YAY PORN!!

[AllieSF]

Since I have been through a small few broken dating relationships, and a 20+ year marriage (none involving CDing. I am a late bloomer) and have done the therapy/counseling route more than once (and there are a lot of very qualified married couples counselors out there, as well as, trans-experienced non-dressing ones too), I probably would not post a thread here asking for assistance. I read this forum everyday (for 3 years now). I would use the search function here for whatever topic I may need to address in my relationship (if I had one, right now I am single and looking). There is so much information here and most of it is good, if only learning from the personal experience of others who may have a similar issue. If I could not resolve the "hiccup" with my partner, I would seek professional help and hope that she would join me. If she didn't then it would probably doom whatever we had and were trying to save. A relationship is always a two way street.

[Emma Leigh]

As my relationship irretrievably broke down prior to me even being aware of this forum, the question for me is somewhat hypethetical. We didnt seek any help from anyone, we just calmly came to a mutual conclusion.
Would I have asked for advise or unburdened myself to the forum, if I had been a member? Yes I am sure I would have, but I doubt it would have changed the outcome. But sometimes it helps to have that reassurance from others , a problem shared & all that!

[Karren H]

I really don't need any support... I just like to hear myself talk... So I'd go post more on makeuptalk.. I'm on there way more than I am on here... Nearing 15,000 posts there in just over 2 years... And I'd probably have some time left over to take hula lessons...

[geri-tg.]

I came out to my wife long before this forum. I knew I was ok and I also knew I would never change. Lots of long talks and now a life full of love and respect for one another.

[Tasha McIntyre]

If this forum did not exist I would be where I was 18 months ago, which compared to today was quite an ugly place.

I'd be secretly dressing, oblivious to the reasons why.
I wouldn't have summoned the courage to tell the wife.

Life is better thanks to this place.

Tash :)

[gabimartini]

I'd rather draw from peer experience, than pay for professional inexperience. End of story.

[Nigella]

OK more clarification needed I think.

Plain simple terms. Peeps post on here when they are having marital problems, not necessary about cding, asking for advice/sympathy. The question is why rely on this forum when there are professionals available to help. What would you do if this forum was not here, would you go to a professional or just struggle through?

[eileendover]

Nigella, when I ran into serious relationship problems in the past (not CD-related), I did seek out a professional.

I assumed that there was only so much advice that I could get from my peers (whether known in real-life or anonymously on the interwebs), and that a professional opinion would likely be more effective. Plus, I believed a professional would tend to focus on me, without attempting to interject examples from her own life (which peers tend to do a lot - I do it all the time).

It was the very best thing I've ever done in my life!
Like getting a 50,000 mile checkup.

[NathalieX66]

I'm on this forum because I want to hear peoples' collective experiences, & how it affects relationships & marriages, whether it be crossdressing or beyond, instead of the advice some supposed professional who needs to consult a book on what transgenderism really is.
There's enough of a pattern here amongst the thousands of members on this forum to get the general idea of what we're really about. That's enough for me. I'm sure there are a few exceptions.

[sissystephanie]

Many of us on this Forum do know what others have gone thru! Because the same thing has happened to them.

In my own case, I told my darling late wife before we married 55 years ago. She accepted me "as is" and we had almost 50 happy years together. I now have a GGF and she knows also. I have been a CD for 70 years and have never had a problem that couldn't be solved! Well maybe not having enough clothes in earlier years!!