Jazzyjen
02-20-2010, 11:59 AM
Ok, not really FML. I don't have it so bad. But I'm having one of those moments.
At this point, I crossdress sometimes by myself. I browse the web for that and more TG stuff. Where I'm headed in life with regard to those topics I have absolutely no idea. If you asked, my answer could vary insanely wildly from "Gonna have to get the change" to "I'm happy how I am, and while we're at it, let's stop doing this dressing thing. It's expensive and not that important to me."
I've only ever told one person, an ex-girlfriend for some dumb reason. Couldn't find a way to tell her while we were together. It made for an interesting discussion, for sure, and felt good since I'd never told anyone, but she's not brought it up in the two months since even though she's in my life frequently.
Anyway, since I broke up with that girl six months or so ago I've kind of drifted back into the CD stuff. More internet time. More buying stuff from stores (Hello Kohls and Walmart after 10 p.m.!). I'm on a business trip and considering where I'm at in my life in a long and a short-term sense, thought it'd be fun to shave my legs. I'm not in a place where I want to live with shaved legs. I want to date girls, not be a gender-bender in my day to day life at this point (or in a place where guys with shaved legs is a non-remarkable sight.) I'm happy as me, the regular, average male me, a lot of the time. But, I have no girlfriend and no prospects. I couldn't imagine a situation in which I'd need to show my legs for the next weeks or months. I thought it'd be fun so hell, I went for it.
Now, two days later, ugh. First, holy crap. My legs itch all the effing time. Or at least frequently. Yeah, moisturizer seems to help, but it's a little hard to have moisturizer on my at all times for the mid-day application that I seem to want. It really drives me nuts at certain times. It feels great at others, but man, goosebumps and stuff feel very uncomfortable. Yuck.
Then, holy crap, this girl I'm quasi in love with back home just broke up with her boyfriend last night. I'm perfectly positioned, having played the "good friend" character in her life for the last year. Realistically nothing will happen, but ya know, it could. Only now I don't want it to because damn it, I just shaved my legs. THEN, last night, sitting in an abandoned bar eating a really late dinner after I finished working, this smoking hot girl (very short black dress, nice tall red heels, because I know you were wondering) leans over and starting chatting me up about curling. Low and behold she lives about a block from my hotel, so she wants to share a cab. Then needs a walk home after we get out at my hotel. Now I'm supposed to call her tonight to meet up with her friends after I finish up with work. Obviously she's in love with me, will drag me drunkenly back to her apartment and want to do all kinds of fun things. But here I am, with shaved legs.
I'm not comfortable enough with my own issues to tell even this random girl why I shaved my legs and I can't think of any other reason I could tell her they're shaved. I'm not fat or scrawny, but I have pipecleaner arms and a beer gut. She'd sooner believe I was from the moon than she would that I'm a professional biker or swimmer and I'm not from a Utopia where I could just be like "Oh, I just thought it sounded fun" and have her not think I was insane.
Realistically, I'm sure nothing will happen. My friend won't be interested in me in that sense and there will be no reason to be pantless in front of her and this random girl won't have any idea who I am if I call tonight. But still, even though it's definitely been fun with the legs, I'm left standing here, my legs itching like crazy and wanting to thump myself in the head and go "Doh!"
FML
(Thanks for listening. Long time listener. First time caller. Just felt like writing for a bit and have absolutely nowhere else to share this somewhat hilarious situation. Thanks)
At this point, I crossdress sometimes by myself. I browse the web for that and more TG stuff. Where I'm headed in life with regard to those topics I have absolutely no idea. If you asked, my answer could vary insanely wildly from "Gonna have to get the change" to "I'm happy how I am, and while we're at it, let's stop doing this dressing thing. It's expensive and not that important to me."
I've only ever told one person, an ex-girlfriend for some dumb reason. Couldn't find a way to tell her while we were together. It made for an interesting discussion, for sure, and felt good since I'd never told anyone, but she's not brought it up in the two months since even though she's in my life frequently.
Anyway, since I broke up with that girl six months or so ago I've kind of drifted back into the CD stuff. More internet time. More buying stuff from stores (Hello Kohls and Walmart after 10 p.m.!). I'm on a business trip and considering where I'm at in my life in a long and a short-term sense, thought it'd be fun to shave my legs. I'm not in a place where I want to live with shaved legs. I want to date girls, not be a gender-bender in my day to day life at this point (or in a place where guys with shaved legs is a non-remarkable sight.) I'm happy as me, the regular, average male me, a lot of the time. But, I have no girlfriend and no prospects. I couldn't imagine a situation in which I'd need to show my legs for the next weeks or months. I thought it'd be fun so hell, I went for it.
Now, two days later, ugh. First, holy crap. My legs itch all the effing time. Or at least frequently. Yeah, moisturizer seems to help, but it's a little hard to have moisturizer on my at all times for the mid-day application that I seem to want. It really drives me nuts at certain times. It feels great at others, but man, goosebumps and stuff feel very uncomfortable. Yuck.
Then, holy crap, this girl I'm quasi in love with back home just broke up with her boyfriend last night. I'm perfectly positioned, having played the "good friend" character in her life for the last year. Realistically nothing will happen, but ya know, it could. Only now I don't want it to because damn it, I just shaved my legs. THEN, last night, sitting in an abandoned bar eating a really late dinner after I finished working, this smoking hot girl (very short black dress, nice tall red heels, because I know you were wondering) leans over and starting chatting me up about curling. Low and behold she lives about a block from my hotel, so she wants to share a cab. Then needs a walk home after we get out at my hotel. Now I'm supposed to call her tonight to meet up with her friends after I finish up with work. Obviously she's in love with me, will drag me drunkenly back to her apartment and want to do all kinds of fun things. But here I am, with shaved legs.
I'm not comfortable enough with my own issues to tell even this random girl why I shaved my legs and I can't think of any other reason I could tell her they're shaved. I'm not fat or scrawny, but I have pipecleaner arms and a beer gut. She'd sooner believe I was from the moon than she would that I'm a professional biker or swimmer and I'm not from a Utopia where I could just be like "Oh, I just thought it sounded fun" and have her not think I was insane.
Realistically, I'm sure nothing will happen. My friend won't be interested in me in that sense and there will be no reason to be pantless in front of her and this random girl won't have any idea who I am if I call tonight. But still, even though it's definitely been fun with the legs, I'm left standing here, my legs itching like crazy and wanting to thump myself in the head and go "Doh!"
FML
(Thanks for listening. Long time listener. First time caller. Just felt like writing for a bit and have absolutely nowhere else to share this somewhat hilarious situation. Thanks)