tell me what you think

[melinda45]

have not dressed in AWHILE my so. says i dont mind but then ignores me if i do dress so i stoped . i even stoped wearing panties . our sex life is nill. even since not dressing . i am still wanting to dress and share a life with her but dont know what to do . i fell im being honest and i love her . i now fell im living alone ! your thoghts would be loved !!

[Holly]

In a word... COMMUNICATE. You clearly are not understading her position and she is not understanding where you are coming from. A relationship doesn't happen by chance; it takes a lot if work. Don't guess at what your wife wants and will accept, ask her. Same goes for you. Tell her what you need. Find out the areas on which you can agree and where compromise is needed. Relationships are dynamic meaning they are always changing so be prepared to revisit these things from time to time. Talk to her.

[melinda45]

I have tried to talk but she says that i can do whatever i want . then completely ignores me . im i being the one overly sensitive ? because of my own guilt maybe .

[Taylor186]

Ask her directly why she is ignoring you. Saying you can do whatever you want is not the same as accepting your dressing.

[gabimartini]

By the looks of it, seems like both of you need one of those heart-to-heart talks, you know? Honest, open, direct communication can do wonders. You need to tell her what your needs and expectations are, and listen to the same from her. What are you doing to each other that's causing so much distance and disagreement?

Once you figure that out, if there's still love and both of you are willing to make concessions, there may be a way to safe the relationship. It will take effort from both parties.

Good luck!

[Karren H]

Ask her directly why she is ignoring you. Saying you can do whatever you want is not the same as accepting your dressing.

Yeah!! She may have written the relationship off and is out looking for womeone else... But then again you won't know that unless you get her to open up..

[snowwoman]

time to have a hart to hart talk with therapist for both of you

[Renee_E]

Start with "I love you" and go from there the subject is your relationship. Ask her why she feels less affectionate. Get her to tell you her feelings and listen. Guessing the answer by your self can lead you done the wrong path. Communicate!!

[ggtracy]

yes, definately ask her what is going on. I know that in the beginning of my relationship, i would ignore more when dressed. it was a coping mechanism for me and it was easier for me to be sure not to say the wrong thing.

once we starting really talking about it, and i became more comfortable (that is was ok to feel some initial anxiety) things got better.

[corndog420]

I agree with the Heart-to-heart discussion, there is definately something not being said, I wouldn't do the therapist thing, not yet anyway, maybe if you are married, but in either case just have a long talk and get everything out, at least you wont be confused about it anymore

[minalost]

Don't let her say, "You can do anything you like..." and end the conversation. Probe deeper. There is something wrong and the only way to "fix" it, if a fix is possible, is to find out what is going on.
:hugs:

[DonnaT]

Does she ignore you totally, like you weren't around, or does she just ignore the fact that you are dressed?

If it's the first, then y'all need to talk about why.

If it's the second, I find nothing wrong with that. My wife will treat me the same way, whether dressed or not. Just like I wouldn't treat her differently if she were wearing a skirt instead of jeans.

I don't look for validation in how I am dressed.