Happened again

[crystal99]

Hi

Its been a while since i've been on here, thought i could leave this alone as it was getting quite serious and thought i'd best stop but after about 6 months a had an erge, so powerful you know and i had to dress again.

I really keep longing for some sort of magic potion, as stupid as that sounds, to put everything right. I need some sort of help. Are there any groups on this i can go and see?

Crys xx

[minalost]

I know of no groups or programs that will cure the urge to crossdress. The longest I have ever gone without crossdressing is 7 years, and durring that time the URGE never stopped; I was just in a possiton where crossdressing wasn't an option. Now I dress up whenever I can.

Good luck!
:hugs:

[Neutral Fire]

I have been where you are many times still do now depends on the day I have burned my brain out trying to figure out cross dressing. I have come up with 2 things

1) it might be a chemical imbalance and if so I know of no doctors trying to figure out how to fix that or why it happens so we are out of luck there.

2) it might be some deep rooted trauma but to me it would have to be serious aka rape being beat as a child and so on and regardless you would need some counseling over just that never mind the cross dressing thing which would benefit from so counseling anyway and you may come to find that cross dressing isn't such a bad thing if you do counseling.

Plainly I am just letting you know your not alone with the feelings of I just want it to go away cross dressing atleast for me has been one of the hardest things to live with. But I have tried to live with the secret and make the secret go away for atleast 20 years and it didn't go away not even marriage made it go away. So maybe and it would be great if I listened to myself here but maybe if we used just 10% of the energy we use to try to figure out why cross dressing happens and try to make it go away and used that energy to find the good things in cross dressing you might have a easier time then just hating it. Also and its up to you but if you have enough posts I believe 10 to msg people feel free to pm me I would have no problem talking to you about how cross dressing has made my life a little harder.

disclaimer- To the other ladies here I am not saying there is a cure or there should be I just totally understand why this person would want one so I shared what i came up with about it

[Karren H]

So you saying that by putting everything right that what we do is is all wrong?? :(

[Brandi Wyne]

It sounds like you are in the "seeking redemption" mode. By "right" do you mean the way they were before? You were sneaking around and trying on women's clothes, admiring your image in the mirror and then feeling repulsed or guilty after you had an orgasm. You mean "that"?

There are a lot of distractions that can occupy your mind and keep it off your desire to explore your feminity. Maybe it's just an abberation and not the real you. But, realistically, if you are like most of us, the sooner you accept that side of your being, too, the sooner you can make steps on your journey to be free of any personal or social recriminations and find a real peace of mind.

Well, that's my take on it as one who is just a step or two farther down the path.:love::2c:

[LisaAlexander]

Ok if you really feel that it's causing you problems, lets for a minute say it's an addiction. So first you have to ask yourself if you really feel its a mistake, is it too much conflict, you think about it but you dont want to. Most people here would say embrace it. And I truly agree that there is nothing wrong with it. So it totally depends on how you view yourself.

Next you should ask if you experience consequences because of it mostly if you are putting peoples lives at risk. I don't think it comes to such extremes right? The main problem here is that you yourself think its not right.

The obvious choices you have left is either live a normal life and crossdress whenever you feel like it or live that life without it. How? So if after thinking about it you still think it's not right you just need to define yourself, maybe talking to a psychologist. And if you want to attend some kind of group just go to any AA meating and treat your crossdressing as if it were your alcohol. The basis of the 12 step program can be used for any addiction. Just be aware that it's something that you can't be "cured" of, if you do get help maybe you'll live a life where you'll have those urges but you'll also have the tools to manage them. Who knows? Maybe you'll get on this quest only to find out it's not so bad after all :)

[kimdl93]

the collective experience of most cross dressers is that we go through periods of self hate, denial, abstinence...etc. But, the desire or need (depending on how you put it) doesnt go away. It seems we only know contentment/peace when we accept ourselves for what we are and learn to be happy with ourselves. And why not - it aint a crime (at least in the US), we are good people that contribute to our families, friends, and our communities. I personally feel I can be a better person in all those realms because of my acceptance of my own femininity. Why would I want to "cure" that?

[DonnaT]

I really keep longing for some sort of magic potion, as stupid as that sounds, to put everything right. I need some sort of help. Are there any groups on this i can go and see?
There is only one magic potion, and that is to accept it. CDing is right, for us.

You may need to see a therapist to find out what "it" actually is, i.e., CD or TS.

But if you can just accept it, the CDing that is, then a therapist may not be needed. Finding others you can talk/share with might be in order.

[Ruth]

Crystal, my dear, the fact is, as we see it here, some of us have the urge to crossdress, and by following that urge and exploring the feminine side of our nature, we reach a better state of mind than when we were trying to repress it. In general, we are happier, calmer, and more able to cope with everyday life. So how exactly is it wrong?
By all means seek help, but real help will consist in helping you to face up to your own nature without guilt.
Love,
Ruth

[helena.gcd]

There is only one magic potion, and that is to accept it. CDing is right, for us.

You may need to see a therapist to find out what "it" actually is, i.e., CD or TS.

But if you can just accept it, the CDing that is, then a therapist may not be needed. Finding others you can talk/share with might be in order.

i truly agree with Donna. Accepting myself as i am has been great for me. And being able to share my thoughts with people like me on this community is all the therapy that i need.
There is nothing wrong with crossdressing, it is just something different and when you accept it, it becomes fun indeed.

[Rianna Humble]

I spent best part of 45 years wishing "it" would go away and hating myself for needing to wear women's clothes.

I tried abstinence - no good.
I tried straightforward denial - no good.
I tried to shame myself out of it - no good.

I finally accepted who I am, that was good. I am still discovering myself, but I no longer need to feel ashamed of who I am or what I wear.

[danielle.cd]

sounds to me you just havent accepted who you are and are afraid that if u do something might happen, i found that i was alot happier when i made the desion to accept my crossdressing and it was like a wheight just lifted, not that i want everyone to know but i just comes to terms with it thats who i am and will always be so why fight it now i dont have to feel guilty to myself for leting myself down by dressing expecialy when it feels so good to get all dolled up.

[sherri52]

I'll fix your problem for you. Every time you get the urge to dress, go out and buy something feminine and send it to me. I'll dress in your place and you won't have any clothes. The one good thing, I will end up with a fantastic wardrobe.

[mklinden2010]

I can't speak for everyone, but I have been active with crossdressing for a long time and I spoken with a large number of people who crossdress. There are all sorts of reasons why they do so.

The happiest of these folks have DECIDED to be happy. To be happy, you have to find out about yourself and figure out who you really are. Once you get that figured out, well, "that's just the way it is" and you get on with life.

I don't think of this activity as a plus or minus when it comes to other people; it's really none of their business, for the most part. I have had to consider if it was a plus or minus to me, personally, and after a lot of thought (and experience) I decided that it is more good for me than bad - all things considered.

For whatever reason, this is something you do, and probably because it has a positive payoff for you. Good for you. Get used to it being in your life and find some good things to do with it and be happier for the self-knowledge and self-acceptance you have acquired.

We are not on this planet to figure out everything about everything. We are here to live for what time we have and we do best to make peace with ourselves, to love others, and to try to leave the world a better place that it was when we first noticed it wasn't perfect, but that might be...

Be yourself, be your happiest self, and make the most of what life has given you to work with.

[Loni]

if there is a magic "cure" to make me stop dressing...please keep it away from me....very far away.

i love to dressup as a lady. it is part of me, sure there are some problems, but why would i want to kill the better half of who i am??

send all your koolade to the demcons in dc, as this cd in ca wants no part of it.

if somehow i could just chuck the male half i would...but i like my extra bits. if possable i would live as a woman full time...but need a income.

.

[Cathytg]

Groups must be out there. But why try to fight it? This is just a natural part of you and, as the saying goes, God don't make no junk.

[jessie_cd]

Im not sure I can offer anything new that has not already been said. I know I went through all of the above. What really helped me the most was coming out to my girlfriend. She has been incredibly supportive and taught me that this is who I am. No need to be ashamed of it. There is no point in being ashamed. You are not hurting any one by crossdressing, it is alot of fun and can bring you alot of happiness if you just embrace it. My magic potions now are leg shaving gel, foundation and mascara. It sets things right and works every time.

[Tanya C]

Chances are this will be with you your entire life. I think the incidences of anybody permanantly quitting are so rare that they almost seem like urban legend. Rather than waste your life pursuing an elusive cure for CDing you would be better off developing ways to acommodate it.
Let yourself be who you are.

[crystal99]

Thanks for the advice, all of you.

I did go and see my doctor last year, i was dressing alot, and i mean alot!, so i went and told her i needed councelling as i think i may want to transition, she sent me to a mental health specialist.

This mental health specialist asked me all sorts of questions, i felt shy at first but eventually started to open up, we got onto the subject of family, especialy my dad then she started to delve and i felt uncomfortable. Somebody mentioned it before that CDing could be caused by past trauma, like beating (which i know did happen) or some other abuse (which honestley i think didnt happen but theres a tiny maybe)

I went to three sessions, after the third i was sent a letter, as always telling me when my next appointment was, because of the nature of my job i had to cancel a couple but when i rang up to arrange another i was told that i obviously dont want to sort this problem out and if i wanted another appointment i would need to go back to my doctor and get refferred again. I cannot go through that again.

So in my case therepy didn't work, especially NHS which is a pile of ..... and i dont have the cash to spend on anything, let alone a therepist.

I know im not as there are all of you here but i am so alone in my life even though im surrounded by people, i know my friends, i know my girlfriend, therefore i know i cant tell them. The magic potion i was refferring to was not to stop but to make everything right so i can be who i am

[eluuzion]

There are lots of respectable online resources available to help you , as well as offline. Many are listed in various threads on this forum and many other forums. If you are unable to find the help you desire that way, I would be glad to send you a lengthy list, just send me a pm.

FYI,
There are lots of "groups" looking for people in exactly your frame of mind, that are extremely eager to "help" you. They are technically called CULTS, and will gladly ruin your life if you allow them.

I would recommend reading this list of warning signs to protect yourself from becoming a victim of such predators...

http://www.rickross.com/warningsigns.html

Of course accepting yourself for what you are is the path to happiness.

[jenifer m.]

there are no cures that ive heard of.besides why would you want to stop dressing?its something to look forward to each day.i believe we all have a chemical imbalance somewhare in our brains that tells us we need to feel feminine through our dressing,thats my guess.dont repress it embrace it i do and never a regret so far.also since the day i came out fully to my wife my whole life in general has been 100% better in all aspects.i know ill be doing this till i die,i love it you should too.

[Michelle-Leigh]

Ditto, there is no way whatsoever to cease wanting to crossdress, and I find it highly unusual that anyone has successfully resisted it for a year or more. Even if you manage such a feat, the urge will become more powerful and eventually overcome you. As for groups, you'd be just wasting your time as they will never, ever be able to help you to stop. So just put your hangup about it out of your mind for good, and enjoy girling up to the max !