Outing yourself to your S.O.

[Lucy_Bella]

How many have done this?

I am just curious to ask because after I did ( out myself )and of course she said she understands and has no problem with me doing this. I have new problems that now go with it.

Things like, now I am worried she wasn't honest with me and just said she understood but really deep inside it makes her sick. I find myself asking again and again " are you sure you are ok with this" ? The answer is always yes and why dear?

I fear that the bottled up burden of so many years of closet time has become my demise.. I let my mind work overtime worried that she isn't being honest with me and if we where to ever part ways ,she would out me.

I would like to think she wouldn't but I guess it's a chance we take when we get with anyone , you just never really know..

I don't over due it by flooding my desires on her and I always ask if she minds before , but sometimes I feel she distants herself with me when I do, even tho encouraged to follow through by her.. Maybe it's just me and I need to get use to having someone acceptable in my life, maybe in time I will find more comfort in her .

Thanks for reading.

[StaceyJane]

I feel the same way. After I came out my wife told me she was okay with it. I kept asking I she was sure she was okay. Finally she told me to stop asking.

[jennCD]

I'd stop worrying and accept what she's already at face value. If you have specific indications that she is having trouble understanding or accepting it, then ask her at that point in order to clarify your concerns...

:)
jenn

[Elsa von Spielburg]

What Jenn said, mostly.

My GF is very supportive, sure, but she made no guarantees that there would be no wierdness for her at times, and that's perfectly fine/expected. There's always going to be something, since our 'hobby' is such deviation from the norm. See if she can pin down a certian aspect about your dressing that makes her uncomfortable, instead of asking about the overarching crossdressing as a whole. It may help her pin things down.

[Sheila]

Hun how long is it since you told your wife ?

Even now Debs will still say, "think I might do Debs tonight" ....... we have been tog 14 months, married 4 months, and at times I get ticked when she says that and occasionally let her know that, if your wife says she is okay with it, and is now showing signs of being annoyed when you ask, it is probably that she is fed up answering the same question time and again :straightface:

If you are really concerned that she may not be as happy about it, then I suggest you sit down and explain why you keep asking her, .......... let her know you are worried that do you think she understood but really deep inside are worried that it makes her sick .. but also explain that those are your worries not that you are accusing her of deception, and that you are worried you may lose her over this.

good luck :hugs:

[mklinden2010]

The cards are on the table.

Just play the cards you have and see how it goes.

You can't control everything and worrying helps nothing.

Positive thinking, however... That can be useful.

[Renee_E]

I have and somedays my SO is okay with it but some days it annoys her. Since she is afraid of conflict I gave her an easy out. "If you rather have your husband around tell me and I promise I won't get upset."

[Sheila]

I have and somedays my SO is okay with it but some days it annoys her. Since she is afraid of conflict I gave her an easy out. "If you rather have your husband around tell me and I promise I won't get upset."

Actually that is not an easy out as you think ........... when given that, some of us do not use it, why because we care, we want you to be as happy as poss, and if we are just feeling out of sorts, we think why should you suffer ?just another of my:2c:

[kimdl93]

I think your wife has been forthright - people ordinarily say what they mean. Of course she may not always react the same way, her opinion may evolve with her experiences. So, its up to you to make this a positive for your relationship. Make it a shared, enjoyable experience, not just something you're relieved to have off your chest. There's lots of fun things you can do together, whether your dressed or not, that will help make CDing a positive force in your relationship.