Careful ...

[Shelly67]

Lifes a funny old thing ..... you seem to believe because all's clear out in the open , cards on the table that you can see the road adhead .
Not this girl . Not anymore anyhow . I've lost everything . This ain't a thread for sympathy , perhaps a gentle warning to those living in a comfortable zone , be alert , you never know whats around the corner in life .

[bethany356]

Woah... What happened? Are you okay?:straightface:

[Persephone]

OMG! Shelly, what happened??? Whatever it is, our thoughts and our prayers are with you.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Gillian]

Shelly! come on share all this sounds serious,,

[Kathi Lake]

You may not want sympathy, but how about concern? I understand the whole "Life's good. Yup! Nothin' but smoooooth sailing" aspect of life - that can suddenly give way to a whirlpool of suffering and pain. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Shelly.

Kathi

[Shelly67]

Girls ...people , it's hard for me to type something of any sense right now .I know give it a few days I,ll look back on this prolly in regret . I suppose I should elaborate after posting the thread after all .I've tried to give a positive input to a few on here in trouble , praps theres even a few who can relate to what I've typed . In short , what I was trying to say for all of us , married , in a relationship , crossdresser or not , don't take things for granted especially that comfort zone we all reside in . As people we try .... but for me my most treasured part of my persona - honesty , has done me no good - it's been taken advantage of , so becareful . When things go seriously wrong , the wake up reality call is immense . I thought my marriage , my life set for a long future in matrimony , now it's time to go it alone eventually learning to be me again . I've sought help , and trying my hardest to pick up the pieces of a failed marriage , with a view to go it alone . Thank goodness for G.Ps.

[Gillian]

Shelly that is so sad to read, I know that as well as mine others will e thinking of you as you get things together in your head.
My sincerest best wishes for the future.

[tammy]

Shelly, my thoughts and prayers are also with you. :sad:

[mklinden2010]

Sorry to hear of your upset.

Life has it's ups and downs. It's always something.

"Up" will happen again.

You just have to get through the "down" to ride the "up" again.

Cding, by the way, may play a part in your current situation, but given the over-all divorce rate (now about 60%), it's not the only thing that causes problems.

Good luck.

[Joanne f]

I am sorry to hear that you are having problems, we can try to control are own emotions, feelings and desires in the hope that we can see are future as planed but we cannot control anyone else`s feelings and it is quite often other peoples feelings and actions that affect us the most .

[Daintre]

Shelly, you have my sympathy, I know the hurt of a failed marriage. My hope for you is that you are able to rebound from this and grow as a person. Hopefully you will recover quickly and re-enter the world with a positive attitude.

[eluuzion]

It's disconcerting to hear anyone express a feeling of complete "devastation". That is only possible when a primary cognitive foundation is dislodged. I hope you find the strength and time to repair a part of you which has obviously been heavily damaged. I understand your statements not are not a plea for sympathy.

Refusing to compromise my personal commitment to character and integrity has led me to suffer many devastating blows and disappointments regarding my faith in my interactions with fellow humans. I have tried to keep from letting it alter my overall faith in others’ intentions.

Not an easy task by any means, as you have noted.

After becoming a parent, I decided that I could no longer place total trust in another person, without placing my child at risk. While I still maintain consistency in my behavior toward others, I have sadly but realistically modified my interaction with others by following this “rule of engagement”…

“Never invest your personal beliefs, trust and character in another person to the extent where their betrayal would leave you physically and emotionally bankrupt.”

It simply reflects the difference between what I want to believe is true in life, and what is "reality".

good luck...

[Shelly67]

...........forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile; growing old is compulsory but growing up isnt my heart will be forever as warm as my smile xxx

thank you for the messages ...its now time for me to grieve .

[Jenny Doolittle]

Shelly,


You have my prayers.....

Just from reading your posts I somehow feel you are the type of person that will look forward to that door that is opening after the one you just walked through has closed....

Press on with your head held high.

Good Luck.

[Jamie48]

Remember we are always here to be your sounding board. Forge ahead & be positive.

[kimdl93]

I'm so sorry, Shelly. Having endured a devastating divorce myself, all I can offer is that deep wounds will heal with time, and you'll survive.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I'm sorry to read about the tragedy you are going through Shelly. My deepest sympathies go out to you.

[AllieSummers]

I've gone from a perfect life to close to the edge myself over the last few months. Right now I am hanging on. I told a therapist I visited for the first time yesterday that I was determined to be that one in a million that can have their cake and eat it too.

I'm hoping my termination isn't in vain. It can happen to all or any of us though and I understand that. But I have to be me and you have to be you.

I'm hoping that my wife will love me for that. I'm also hoping that you find that someone that will too.

Good luck and I'll keep you and everyone that is going through what we are in my prayers.

Kisses,

Allie

[sherri52]

Shelly many of us here on the forum have been through some of what you are going through. I have been through 2 divorces. We may not be experts but we have good ears and soft shoulders. PM if you want privacy

[Shelly67]

You are all so kind . Thank you . I knew a gal on here well , we chatted for hours on the similar situation she went thru . I never imagined it would happen to me .I pray to find the same strength she had and move on .
I thought my acceptance as a cd ,and my marriage would last ..... it was what I considered strong . I was wrong . But I stayed true .
Whats scarring me ridgid is not being given a real reason for it to end other than theres no trust due to past occurances , and evidence it has now repeated itself . I feel so alone , so inconsidered . All I craved was support after losing my career , carrying a nasty injury , and worried silly of losing my lovely home . It seems her attention was not on the same ball game .
So , we lived together since I was a boy - 19 yrs of age .... and now we part at 42 yrs old . The reality of life alone is scarey , but as this problem has repeated itself for the 3rd time I now need to live alone , but at least in peace .
Thank you for the comments , friendship and offers of support . Bless you all .
S xxxx

[Cathytg]

Of course we are all sympathetic with you. I have been there myself and I know that, in time, it gets better. But right now words cannot help much. Please hold on during the really tough part.

[eluuzion]

All I craved was support after losing my career , carrying a nasty injury , and worried silly of losing my lovely home . It seems her attention was not on the same ball game .
So , we lived together since I was a boy - 19 yrs of age .... and now we part at 42 yrs old . The reality of life alone is scarey , but as this problem has repeated itself for the 3rd time I now need to live alone , but at least in peace .
S xxxx

I have been divorced 3 times. The first time, the second time, and for the last time. lol. The one thing they all had in common was that the ex's all had affairs, they all ended up with my money and assets and I always ended up broke. :D Most importantly, in the end I always end up "better off" than the alternatives (staying in the marriages).

I have learned that the only place to find reliable support is in pantyhose. :)

Living alone and being "lonely" are two entirely different things. One does not necessarily coincide with the other.
I have lived alone for 14 years now. I have never had a single argument with my 11year old dog that I did not win. I am also perfectly comfortable talking outloud with myself, and my dog has never complained once. I have lots of friends. They just do not spend the night and spend my money like my ex's did. The only draw back I can see so far is there is nobody around to confirm it, if you ever think you smell smoke. And, of course, nobody to keep you from overindulging in having fun at home. lol:hugs:

[Stephanie Miller]

Rest assured all of us here give our prayers to you and our concern. But above all - you're wrong! No matter how bad things get, you are never alone. The good Lord is always walking the walk with us. He alone will help get you through it.
Our prayers to you,
Stephanie

[Amy Lynn3]

Shelly, if it means anything to you I am going through the same thing you are. Just want you to know we feel for you and we are here for you and hope you are for us too.

Like my GF and I said Saturday night.....life sucks at times, but not all the time. Hope you are feeling better soon.

[Lucy_Bella]

Shelly,

I to have been down that road, it took me a few years to understand it wasn't all me and it wasn't my dressing , although the finger was pointed toward that.

I never dressed in front of my wife , she never accepted or even met my counterpart to even judge.. It ended that way tho...It ended because of my desires ( so she said) ... But today I know it wasn't that and she used it as a crutch , Ilove that woman , my ex very much I still do .. But in the end she was the one who was lying.. Sorry to go on about me , If I can do anything to help please PM me..

[Nicole Erin]

I am going thru the same thing. Of course, I kind of saw mine coming a while ago.

I guess the best thing to do is start planning the single life. No one there to complain about things you do.

[Shelly67]

Thank you all so very very much . I feel almost as if a weight has now been lifted . It's gonna hurt like hell to part , but that'll pass in time. To behonest a life of no questions no lies or suspicions will be a peaceful existence rather than one of a doormat .
I thank you all once again ....... time to prepare xxxx

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Shelly

You aways know that you are amoung friends here.
Aways a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to you.

Orchid

[Loni]

yes "time" that all encompsing word.

i kinda know where you are, lost my love, family, money, home, outed in a bad light, lost most everything...
alone for years, before this web stuff and finding people who know and care.

the feelings never go away, one just learns to live with them by putting them away in a box someplace.

you will get better, yes you will have a hard time for a bit, but the sun always rises in the east.

we here are your friends and hope you will let us help you make it through.

loni

.

[lavistaa62]

A lot of us have been there- now we're here for you. Glad you reached out to us and that we may be some small comfort now and in the future.

[carolinoakland]

I strill strugle with those that betray me... and I beat myself up most for not seeing it. It's the lost of trust in your instincts that scares the most. This too will pass... Carol

[Shelly67]

That's what kill's me the most . The betrayal - the lies . I mean I'm an open book type person , pretty balanced in life ( others seem to tell me all theyre troubles in times of wanting advice and comfort ) but then the one person closest to me knew that turned it around and decieved me . I hate lies - it's an insult to a person and shows a weakness in character I think . Well , I contacted my G. P , he gave me a little something to help me rest , unwind and have just spent the last 20 odd hours floating in and out of deep sleep . I've awoke a little fuzzy , but my mind doesn't seem so clutered with questions and fraut .
It's now time to get the ball rolling so to speak on legal matters .
May I take this time , to personally thank you all for the wishe's of support . Never did I realise what was waiting for me around the corner , but in reflection if there's one thing I truely wish after this part of my life has become history it's to live in peace , not look over my shoulder , question , but more importantly learn to trust and love again .
God bless to you all .
Love Shelly xxx

[Presh GG]

Shelly,
You will love and trust again because that is your nature.
You are a wonderfull, careing kind person and I hurt to hear you hurt.

You will draw to you all the qualitys you have in abundance in someone new who will see you as we do.

All the best,
Peace,

Presh GG

[Andy66]

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. Making it on your own, at least for a while, is one of the best things you can do for your self-esteem and peace.

Look hard enough and eventually you will find that silver lining. Hang in there. :hugs:

[Starling]

Dear Shelly,

My heart goes out to you, and I'm sending you good thoughts...rest...revive...regroup...recover...reb ound...reinvent...

Love,
Lallie

[Marcia Blue]

Shelly, i must have missed this thread the first time around.
Iam so sorry and feel your pain.
My prayers and best wishes are with you.

Huggs