I am Rejecting Crossdressing

[Sheila]

GOTTCHA:D

actually it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right :straightface:

Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

For SO's F & M do you think using the term transgendered would make it easier to explain to others and lead to a more willingness to discuss our lifestyles without that initial judgment the term crossdressing appears to conjour up ?

[jenifer m.]

transgenderd is problably ok for those of us who dress up to pass all the time,but i myself am just basically a cross dresser as i wear mens and womans clothes at the same time.i enjoy both ways of dressing so i guess cross dress is the term i prefer for me.

[celeste26]

It's just a word, and it is a correct word for our mutual activity. Rather than using our activity as an identifier, you seem to prefer using a status word (transgendered) and it is just as correct. It doesn't bother me which ever floats your boat.

I feel free to use either of them in their proper place.:2c:

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes a spoonful of "sugar" helps the medicine go down, sometimes not. Simply calling it something else does not minimize or alter the activity in the minds of the general public.Some folks just do not see men dressing as woman as "normal". I use the term for convenience of reference myself but I know each and every person is an individual and cannot really be summed up in a word or a few words. I prefer to think of them as the person they are.:)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

When I used to post on a "Men in Skirts" forum, the guys there hated the word crossdresser with a passion and they would rail against it any time someone said it. But I still used it and still do use it because I find that the better thing to do is not get so hung up on what you call it, and just relax and dress the way you want to. I find that when you play musical chairs with terminology you give people the impression that you have this deep need to explain yourself, rather than just be comfortable in what you're doing.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I generally use the term crossdresser because it's what most people understand. I much prefer the word "femulator" (a contraction of female emulator) though.

[TG_Nicole]

For me anyway what i classify myself as to myself depends on where i'm at in life. Crossdressing really started as a fetish sex thing so i considered myself a crossdresser. I now consider myself transgendered because my goal when i dress is to be as passable as i can and feel as feminine as i can. It's no longer about sex for me its about how i feel comfortable gender wise. Not saying there are anything wrong with people who really are just there for a fetish sex reason. But for me i am transgendered.

[Tamara Croft]

I don't use the term crossdresser for Tammy, I feel that's more of a US term. She's my T-Girl or transgendered, or my lil' tranny :heehee: Look at all the websites you get when you do a search for crossdressers, it's completely different to when you search for the term transgendered. Good question Sheila :D

[Mirani]

Last weekend a well-meaning inquiring friend of a friend asked me if I was trans woman. I do get tired of having to label myself now. I know she was only asking, but really, what business is it of anyone but me and mine?
So I asked her why she was asking; would a label help anyone? She said that she was just interested and didnt mean to be rude. I told her I didnt see it as rude, just that not many other people there were being asked to justify themselves. I did talk in a non confrontational way.

So I asked "what do you see?"
She said " a woman"
I said, "so do I".
She gave me a hug, apologised and we chatted about the people we had in common.

I know labels can help people to get a grip on something. I just dont think I fit nicely into a category.
I am 24/7.
Not seeking any SRS.
I do not see myself as a "crossdresser" and don't describe myself as such, but dont feel insulted if someone else does.
Next time I am asked, I may feel less sensitive and simply say "I live as a woman" and leave it at that.

I agree tho with Sheila that "crossdresser" has a negative conotation owing to the sensationalisation of offenders who cross dress and the only news being negative or visual representation as ridiculous.

[Super Amanda]

It seems that some people are confusing "transgender" with "transsexual" and other "trans" words.

The word "trans" means "Across , on the other side or beyond" , that's why "transgender" covers the entire spectrum of gender identity variances.

The word "Transgendered" does not even imply anything specific, making it a "blanket" term, but "crossdresser" has a very specific meaning.

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

I hate labels, but we live in a world of labels, so I think everyone should try to at least get the terminology right.

The information is out there to anyone who is able to post on this site, via the magic of the Internet, so maybe take a few minutes from clothes shopping on eBay to do some research and see what we call ourselves these days. :)

The information out there for us TRANS people (see what I did, there?) is always changing and evolving, so I believe that we need to be at least aware of those changes to contribute to the greater understanding of trans folks in general.

The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Shelia,

I agree how words have pre-conceived notions. Personally I hate the term "She-Male" Recently I have heard a term that is better then either crossdresser or transgendered at describing how I feel about myself..... that is Bi-Gendered.

For me, I enjoy both sides of my personality, and bi-gendered seems to really hit the nail on the head.

Anyway, that is my :2c:

[KimberlyJo]

The word "Transgendered" does not even imply anything specific, making it a "blanket" term, but "crossdresser" has a very specific meaning.

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

True, a crossdresser is any person who enjoys (for WHATEVER reason) wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. This includes those who do it for purely visual and sexual reasons without any desire to feel feminine.

Transgender to me is a mental state. It is either moving fluidly along the gender spectrum or positioning somewhere closer to the opposite gender one was assigned at birth.

In this way, it is possible for a crossdresser to correctly not consider themself transgendered in any way; if they do it for purely visual purposes.



The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.

The problem is that the terminology changes, rapidly (as you pointed out). It can be difficult to keep up with, although we should all make an effort to try. Add to that the difference in common terminology in different countries and you're in for a tough time communicating. I live in the US but have had numerous debates on crossdresser vs. transvestite with people in the UK.

Me? I'm a genderfluid transgender non-fetishistic male-to-female crossdresser. Did I miss anything?
:hugs:

[Tamara Croft]

The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.But who's to say your terminology is correct anyway? There is so much information on the net about the term transgendered, that even transgendered (everyone) can't even agree on what it even means. What people need is to be educated, not spoken to like a 5 year old, which imho your post comes across as... don't tell people off for not understanding, try teaching them with a bit more decorum and less of a know it all attitude.

[Deborah Jane]

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

The information is out there to anyone who is able to post on this site, via the magic of the Internet, so maybe take a few minutes from clothes shopping on eBay to do some research and see what we call ourselves these days. :)



Just for your information.......Sheila is a GG.....My wife!!! She supports not only me, but also many members of our community

Do Your research on the OP before making an ass of yourself!!!!

[Engendered]

Transgendered is the term I most like. Crossdresser, for me, is misleading. It implies that the clothes are the important part, the driving force, whereas in reality, crossdressing is only a by-product, for me, of being transgendered. Crossdressing is a state of action. Transgenderism is a state of being.

So, from a psychological viewpoint, I do believe that certain words make things better for public consumption. A string-plucker might seem like an odd thing to be called. Why are you so obsessed with plucking strings? But you tell someone that you're a musician, and that you string pluck to experience the joy of the music, I think it makes more sense to people.

-Susan. (I crossdress for the joy of the music) :heehee:

[sonia_dargency]

.... I find that the better thing to do is not get so hung up on what you call it, and just relax and dress the way you want to. I find that when you play musical chairs with terminology you give people the impression that you have this deep need to explain yourself, rather than just be comfortable in what you're doing.

You said it

to make an analogy with a personal event, when I met my wife, she already had three teenage kids from a previous marriage (she is a bit older than I am)

although we got along very well and still do, I was not their buddy, I was not their dad or even step dad, no label could stick to me, I was just ... me.

[Sheila]

• CROSS-DRESSER (noun)

Meaning:

Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex

Synonyms:
cross-dresser; transvestite

Hypernyms ("cross-dresser" is a kind of...):

individual; mortal; person; somebody; someone; soul (a human being) ow I like that clarification :)

Transgender identities

While people self-identify as transgender, transgender identity includes many overlapping categories. These include cross-dresser (CD); transvestite (TV); androgynes; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings; and drag queens; and, frequently, transsexual (TS).[26] Usually not included are transvestic fetishists (because it is considered to be a paraphilia rather than gender identification).
The extent to which intersex people (those with ambiguous genitalia or other physical sexual characteristics) are transgender is debated, since not all intersex people disagree with their gender assigned at birth. The current definitions of transgender include all transsexual people, although this has been criticized. (See below.)

The term trans man refers to female-to-male (FtM or F2M) transgender people, and trans woman refers to male-to-female (MtF or M2F) transgender people, although some transgender people identify only slightly with the gender not assigned at birth. In the past, it was assumed that there were far more trans women than trans men, but a Swedish study estimated a ratio of 1.4:1 in favour of trans women for those requesting sex reassignment surgery and a ratio of 1:1 for those who proceeded.[28] There is a school of thought that says terms such as "FtM" and "MtF" are subjugating language that reinforces the binary gender stereotype.[29]

The term cisgender has been coined as an antonym referring to non-transgender people; i.e. those who identify with their gender assigned at birth.[30]

Perhaps that may help clarify to those who clearly do not understand where I come from :whistle: (or maybe confuse some others :heehee:)

[Sandra]

For me transgendered covers the whole community..and I have found myself using that term more not only here but when talking to friends etc.

This is not meant to offend anyone but....when the term crossdresser is used, joe public 9 times out of 10 automatically thinks of the way out dress sense, too much makeup and over the top hair dos... but use the term transgendered and some will say what do you mean and want to know more.

I have had this happen to me more than once and when I've said it covers cders/ts/ftm and explained that not all are OTT then they have seemed to understand more and wanted to chat more about the community, whether aferwards they understand a little more I can only hope so.

Because of the media/society the term crossdresser IMO has gotten a bad name, and until people get out there and show and educate that it's not bad then I don't think it will change.

[Kieron Andrew]

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered "

^^^ that's me that is!! i've never really liked the term crossdresser and much prefer to encompass everyone into the same spectrum....i like trans, transgender, tranny, in my mind crossdresser or transvestite conjures up some kind of sexual connotation in the eyes of the media and jo/joe public and not all of us are about that

[Mirani]

....when the term crossdresser is used, joe public 9 times out of 10 automatically thinks of the way out dress sense, too much makeup and over the top hair dos... but use the term transgendered and some will say what do you mean and want to know more..
Because of the media/society the term crossdresser IMO has gotten a bad name, and until people get out there and show and educate that it's not bad then I don't think it will change.

I SO agree :thumbsup:

[Sandra]

in my mind crossdresser or transvestite conjures up some kind of sexual connotation in the eyes of the media and jo/joe public and not all of us are about that

Yep agree with you on that Kieron. :)

[Tamara Croft]

I know we all like the term transgendered, so I decided to see what would come up when I typed in www.transgendered.com ... let's just say, it's not what I expected and pretty much a slap in the TG communities face... be warned, it's not for the squeemish...

I'm pretty disappointed that someone would take an umbrella term for all and turn it into that... it's wrong :\\

So to Amanda, thanks for that, I did what you said... and now I feel positively sick... maybe next time, you'll leave people to believe what they want about labels and meanings.

[EnglishRose]

I know we all like the term transgendered, so I decided to see what would come up when I typed in www.transgendered.com (http://www.transgendered.com) ... let's just say, it's not what I expected and pretty much a slap in the TG communities face... be warned, it's not for the squeemish...

I'm pretty disappointed that someone would take an umbrella term for all and turn it into that... it's wrong :\\

So to Amanda, thanks for that, I did what you said... and now I feel positively sick... maybe next time, you'll leave people to believe what they want about labels and meanings.

Why use terms correctly when there's capitalism to be done! :rolleyes:

[Tamara Croft]

Why use terms correctly when there's capitalism to be done! :rolleyes:How is that even relevant?

[MAJESTYK]

I hate labels........I am just who I am. I understand that there must be a definition of everything otherwise, we simply return to a time when there was not a "word" for anything. We would all simply just grunt and point.

The true meaning of all the words we are talking about has been convoluted since their inception. Originally, they were "clinical" words made by Docotrs to explain something as simply as they could. People have made them fit what they needed. The root of many of them being latin and simply meaning to "cross" either dressing or the clothes that we wear or the biggy, the "sex" that we were given.

If someone needs to have a word to understand who you are, they dont need to be explained to anyway. If we need a word to understand ourselves, we need someone to help us accept ourselves. If you or those that matter are comfortable with you, you dont need a word or an explaination.

[kimdl93]

I'm entirely ok with the term Transgendered. I know we each represent unique combinations of charcteristics representing some point in the spectrum of transgenderism. Cross dressing may be a bit more to one end, than the other.

But as MajestyK suggests, lables don't or shouldn't entirely define us either.

[Nigella]

IMHO it does not matter which term is used, Jo/Joe Public has a perception of this community, which we, as a community have to dispel.

There are many reasons why the image we have is a negative one, but I believe that the WWW is now both our biggest ally and biggest enemy.
The web has opened up the whole world to things which used to be hidden from most, but now, due to its non regulation, anything is fair game. This has meant that despite what the "real" definition of our "labels" are, as defined in any dictionary, what people see, when they type a "transgender label" into a search engine, really defines us to Jo/Joe Public.

[EnglishRose]

How is that even relevant?

Oh, I was only agreeing with your point, hence the "roll eyes" smiley, while taking a potshot at the domain admin who would use the URL in such a way.

[Alice Torn]

Of course, Jo/Joe Public, many, including friends i have, who don't know i dress, will ask, the question, "are you gay?". Some will say "pervert", "sick." Tell them, have a nice day! Or, I hope to say, "it is just one side of me." And the beat goes on.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have retired from being a cross-dresser about 2 years ago and if asked in public for an honest answer of what I am I would say a part Time Transgendered Woman or just a girl:)

I have been speaking on this on my sites for a few weeks and I feel as we grow and become focused on our styles we begin to see ourselves as women and yes cross dressing is used more to describe a M2F and not a F2M. I will not say using the term cross dresser is bad and it is not! I think for me I started as a CD and when I was in those early days I did not interact or go out of the house, those days dressing was about learning the craft which is what I call what I do. When I begin going out I found in the early days that I had no clue on how to be a woman in public and with my height plus my lack of knowing how to act in public I got the "Its a man" comment all the time. I get double takes today! however for the most part I do not look anything like I did in my early days because I decided to consider myself a woman or a trans-woman.

[Tamara Croft]

Oh, I was only agreeing with your point, hence the "roll eyes" smiley, while taking a potshot at the domain admin who would use the URL in such a way.Oh, I did wonder lol... glad you agree, it's a shame it's being used in such a negative way... I would have bought it had it not been in use :\\

One more thing though, labels are irrelevent to me personally, everyone here is just my family... girls, boys even the fresh water dolphins :D

[NicoleScott]

We have vastly different lifestyles and dressup drives, so one catch-all term (transgendered) doesn't do it for me. I am a part-time dress-for-pleasure crossdresser, and have not transitioned into a lifestyle beyond wearing things traditionally worn only by women. So for those who want to think of themselves as transgendered, fine. I'm a crossdresser.
Funny how those who make the case for the term transgendered do so on a site named crossdressers dot com. I hope you're not campaining for a site name change.
Also, the term crossdresser does include FTM folks. If women dress to present themselves as men, the term crossdresser is appropriate, as may be the term transgendered.

Marriage IS a noun. Marry (to marry) is the verb. I'm just saying...

[Deborah Jane]

even the fresh water dolphins :D

I wondered what had happened to them as you've not mentioned them for a while. Are they still ok, have they had babies yet?

[sherri52]

I don't call myself anything and my friends that know Sherri don't either. The world can call me whatever they want. If they want my respect they'll have to treat me the same way.

[Kerigirl2009]

I will accept Transgendered as a label for argument sake. As long as I can still wear the clothing of my choice when I choose too.

Or I will accept the term "normal human man" who sometimes enjoys dressing as a woman.

[divamissz]

I just tell people "I'm Zelda, that's all that matters." Whatever other labels you need, that's to help you figure things out. You're not going to ever figure me out :)

[ReineD]

I prefer the term 'transgender' as well, especially if talking to the uninitiated. It is a broader term and IMO it is easier to understand. But I do explain that TG is an umbrella term that covers CDs, TSs, and everyone else in between.

But in our own circles, for clarity's sake I do see the necessity for using more specific terms, since each different level within the TG umbrella carries with it its very own concerns and issues.

I know that some people hate the idea of labeling themselves, but if they are not sure where along the TG spectrum they fall, it is perfectly OK for them to say so rather than to discount other people's efforts at achieving clarity.

[AllieSF]

I started as a crossdresser and am satisfied with that terminology. Though I sometimes refer to myself as transgendered. The use of "tranny" to me brings too many negative connotations based on my previous experiences hearing people reference them, normally as the girls working the street corners. I do understand that terminology changes over time as more details are brought out, local practices in word usage and for a myriad of other reasons. that is good so that we do not get too stuck in the past. I believe that labels are good, but not perfect because there are so many variations as the colors in a true rainbow versus a simple one painted in a children's book. A label helps me position someone initially in my understanding of that label. I do not let the label rule my thought process nor acceptance of someone, but rather it gives me a starting point to understanding. Sometimes a label can be completely incorrect. However, I have found for me that the initial understanding has been closer to the true identification than without the label. I am with the others that we should not get so hung up on labels and their use. I prefer the "I am me" approach and let others worry about the correct usage or not of labels.

[Nigella23]

I'm a Cabbage White,others are Swallowtails, Monarchs, Gossamer wings and so on. But we're all still Butterflies.
Until words are used to diminish, belittle, bully, and persecute people, then they are still just words. I have not one care what I am referred as, by people here, in fact I think in some of my previous posts I say i'm a tranny or transvestite, I don't identify personally as being transgendered, but only because it's a term I haven't used regularly.
I think whatever term you use, the media and Jo/e Public, will use it as a stick to beat you with.

[Sheila]

I think whatever term you use, the media and Jo/e Public, will use it as a stick to beat you with.

I disagree, until we begin to present us in a a different light to what the public see when they hear/view the words then we all lose ............. by using words that Jo/e public is not sure of, t gives us a chance to enlighten and educate instead of turning them away in revulsion, so that has to be a better way surely ............ Words and how we use them are important in life, so we need to use them with care, especially in atmospheres where the wrong words ridicule and repulse us

[Kieron Andrew]

if by using words that Jo/e public is not sure of it gives us a chance to enlighten and educate instead of turning away in revulsion ............ Words and how we use them are important in life, so we need to use them with care, especially in atmospheres where the wrong words ridicule and repulse us
:yt:

[Nigella23]

It wasn't a statement to be agreed or disagreed with, I suppose I didn't make it clear enough. The ignorant, self obsessed, and narrow minded will always be that. Doesn't matter how much education, enlightenment or correct words you use. It would be naive to think anything else. There are kids in schools today who think homosexuality is sick and wrong, and who will beat people to death for it.
I do agree that it is up to 'us' as a community that needs to change peoples perceptions, for as is said their perception is their reality, whether you or I like it or not. I think our actions can change those perceptions far more than any words can. Imagine if as a community we were featured in the media for doing present drives for local childrens hospitals, fund raising for community projects etc etc, how much would it matter if the headline was, 'Trannys do good', as opposed to 'Transgenders do good'?

[trisha59]

I prefer crossdresser. Although I know the meaning of transgendered, in my head I feel it means that I am questioning my gender and of all the things I question my gender is not one of them. I also believe Tamara was right when she said it is more popular in the states. I think it is a state thing.

[msniki48]

Sheila, I love your topic of discussion.

I consider myself to be transgendered. I feel i have been conflicted my whole life. i cross dress because i am TG and i am presenting to the best of my ability as the woman i see as myself. there are so many different people here that dress for different reasons...you and i, and many others may do it because we are transgendered. [ we are somewhere in the middle of that continuum i guess.] don't necassarily need to transition, [ life or death], but need to be able to be that girl whenever possible.

[to answer your 2nd question]. Yes the term Transgendered helped me to explain to my wife and family and friends my need to express myself through crossdressing. before my wife and i saw a therapist she had no idea of what i was going through. this term worked for us..it' is not for everyone, but it worked for us. If it helps you to be in a better place, and it helps you to verbalize where you are in life...then by all means use it.:hugs:


just my:2c:

[Shelly Preston]

While I think the term Transgender sounds the most suitable even if you have to explain a little more

I think it was best summed up by a Lady who I met in a pub that came over for a chat

It's nice you can get out be yourself

[Rachel Morley]

I agree. I self identify as a CDer (as opposed to TS or anything else) but if I'm ever talking to others who are not in our community, I always say "I'm transgendered". :2c:

[Lucy_Bella]

It really doesn't matter Sheila, we can all try to go by our direct labels or group it into one. The end result will be the same , someone is gonna be hurt or will rejected . That is just people ..:D

Me ( for here only) I will only go under one label and thats the one I gave myself here Lucy_Bella call me what ever you want tho:love:

[Danielle76]

Me personally, I don't really care one way or another. If anything, I'm just a crossdresser. Ultimately, I don't really care because I don't let anyone in my life know my dirty little secret.

[Shelly Preston]

Me personally, I don't really care one way or another. If anything, I'm just a crossdresser. Ultimately, I don't really care because I don't let anyone in my life know my dirty little secret.

I am sorry but I don't think dressing is a "dirty little secret" :Angry3:

A secret maybe but there is nothing is dirty about it

[Electra]

GOTTCHA:D

actually it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........

I wear female clothes indoors, I am male, my gender is masculine, it will never be feminine, I am 100% heterosexual. I would feel terribly offended if someone who discovers that I wear fem clothes were to call me transgenedered. I love the phrase crossdressing because that's what I do.

[gabimartini]

I like the way you think!

This is how I see it, to keep it short: we are transgendered people and express ourselves through crossdressing. What I'm trying to say is that CDing is not the phenomenon itself, is an outlet for the transgenderism we carry inside.

My two cents.

[Starfire Jade]

I utterly HATE it when Cross-dressers call themselves "Trans-gendered" By NO MEANS am I trans-gendered and I DO pass. Why? Because we don't share no where NEAR the same level as pain as women who are unfortunate enough to be born with this defect.

We dress up part time to satisfy whatever void we have in our lives whether it be sexual, loneliness, etc. My best friend and MENTOR was unfortunate enough to be born in a guy's body. While she taught me how to pass we both share NOTHING in common. I and I utterly hate when people use the words "T-girl" and "Tranny" Its just as offensive as calling a black person the N-word. Why is it so derogatory? Because TRUE trans-gendered women want to be seen AS WOMEN, not some crazy inbetween. Most TRUE transgendered women don't identify as trans. And it Irks me when someone who just plays "dress up" such as I do refers to themselves as such.

[Sheila]

TRUE trans-gendered women want to be seen AS WOMEN, not some crazy inbetween. Most TRUE transgendered women don't identify as trans. And it Irks me when someone who just plays "dress up" such as I do refers to themselves as such.

firstly Transgendered is not exclusive to the use of trans women .......... Transgendered is also a related term for F2M as well :slap: :eek:


transgender - a term describing persons whose gender identities, expressions, or behaviors are not those traditionally associated with their birth gender ............... this word has recently come to be used as the 'general term' to encompass all cross dressers, transvestites and transsexuals


hope the above clears some things up

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I utterly HATE it when Cross-dressers call themselves "Trans-gendered" By NO MEANS am I trans-gendered and I DO pass. Why? Because we don't share no where NEAR the same level as pain as women who are unfortunate enough to be born with this defect... Because TRUE trans-gendered women want to be seen AS WOMEN, not some crazy inbetween. Most TRUE transgendered women don't identify as trans. And it Irks me when someone who just plays "dress up" such as I do refers to themselves as such.


As has been said many times on this thread, you are confusing the term "Transgendered" with "Transexual." A lot of people do, but they aren't the same thing. Since Transgendered is the "T" in LBGT, it really should be remembered that it is an inclusionary term, not an exclusionary one, because the struggles and battles for acceptance for the LBGT community benefit us all, and as such should also concern us all.

[Sandra]

I don't let anyone in my life know my dirty little secret.

Why do you say it is dirty?

IMO there is nothing dirty about being transgendered.

[Tina B.]

When I was young,(that was a long time ago). I had no name for what I did, and thought I was some sort of freak. Then I learned of a word that was for people like me, that word was Transvestite. I was so happy to find I was not the only one out there. Then I grew up and found others on the web, I was thrilled to find there was so many of us out here, but the word Transvestite was no longer the proper term, to many bad connotations. We call our selfs cross dressers now, it sounds so much better. Now I find many don't like that word, so many bad connotations, so we find a new word. How long before we need another new word, because so many people don't want to understand us. So call me what you want, but be sure to call me when the spring fashions arrive.
Tina

[Michelle-Leigh]

To me, cross-dresser should mean one who occasionally wears clothes of the opposite sex but deep down prefer to be of their birth sex, and those who only cross-dress because they have a fetish for it and nothing else. Transgendered should apply only to those who, deep down, want to be of the opposite sex (or have had SRS), adopt the mannerisms thereof, stay dressed and behave as such 24/7 or as much of their time as is possible. It should also include those wannabe males/males who would rather have been born of the opposite sex and do not want to have SRS. As time has passed, I have gone from occasional crossdressing (forced by my secrecy during those years) to being transgendered and practicing feminine mannerisms. And yes, I have always wanted to be female, either by birth or surgery !

[carrie-ann]

I use both tg/cd so i have no prob with either.

[Kieron Andrew]

Transgendered should apply only to those who, deep down, want to be of the opposite sex (or have had SRS), adopt the mannerisms thereof, stay dressed and behave as such 24/7 or as much of their time as is possible.

What you have just described is being Transsexual (TS)...transgender emcompasses the whole spectrum

[Samantha B L]

When I was first expirimenting with dressing "transvestite" was the term in use. People started to say "crossdresser" about 30 years ago. I always thought being a "transvestite" was individualistic,non-conformist and that it shocked conservative people. I have come to understand with a lot of help from this forum and with many of you that I have made freinds with that an expression like "transvestite" perhaps sounds too severe. Terms like "transgendered" or "crossdresser" either one are much better when it comes to things like politics and other serious business.

[Sheila]

Transgendered should apply only to those who, deep down, want to be of the opposite sex (or have had SRS),

:wtf::bonk:

Transgender identities

includes many overlapping categories.These include cross-dresser (CD); transvestite (TV); androgynes; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings; and drag queens; and, transsexuals(TS)
Transsexual people identify as, or desire to live and be accepted as, a member of the sex opposite to that assigned at birth.

Transsexualism is often included within the broader term transgender, which is generally considered an umbrella term for people who do not conform to typical accepted gender roles, for example cross-dressers, drag queens, and people who identify as genderqueer.

[Lorileah]

So let me get this straight, I can be more than one of the above, sort of like ordering from a take out menu? I can be a crossdresser/transgender/drag queen (on Saturday night)/genderqueer, closeted fetishish? Just wondering so I can fill out my census form correctly

[Sheila]

So let me get this straight, I can be more than one of the above, sort of like ordering from a take out menu? I can be a crossdresser/transgender/drag queen (on Saturday night)/genderqueer, closeted fetishish? Just wondering so I can fill out my census form correctly

I can be a crossdresser/drag queen (on Saturday night)/genderqueer, ............ all of those FALL UNDER THE transgender UMBERELLA Lori

fetishish? ............ now that comes under the Fetish umberella, whether you dress for fetish reasons as a woman or a garden gnome , or a pink flying pig :tongueout
Several definitions of fetishism can be found here FETISH (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetish)

[Lorileah]

fetishish? ............ now that comes under the Fetish umberella, whether you dress for fetish reasons as a woman or a garden gnome , or a pink flying pig :tongueout


good thing I used my number 2 pencil *quickly erases fetishist adds worlds ugliest woman (according to MIL)*

[docrobbysherry]

I never felt like one, tho. :brolleyes:

Sheila, and everyone here, can call me a CD, TG, drag queen, blo up doll, or whatever u like. Even tho I may not feel like that.:straightface:

As long as u say Sherry's pretty, it doesn't matter what u call us!:heehee:

[Stephanie Heplby]

"Crossdresser" is a term that implies practice; it is something you do. Hence, I also prefer "transgendered", since it describes something you are on the inside.

I am not my clothes, but I come to the clothes because of what is inside me.

[Abbyru1]

I too was a transvestite. Not any more. I am a crossdresser. Nothing more. I like women's clothing and that's why I wear it. I have no desire to be a women. I don't want to be stuck with a label anyway. Most of the people I know don't understand
cross-dressing--THAT is some kind of taboo that can't be brought up in a "civilized" society where I live. Then putting a label on something I do for me,would put me in a
group of misfits and weirdos. I choose not to share my crossdressing with anybody "out"
there.

[Starfire Jade]

Trans-gendered and Tran-sexual both mean the same thing to me. Point being, If you don't intend on taking hormones, or getting the surgery, don't refer to yourself as such. And seriously why does everything have to be a "life style?"

[Kieron Andrew]

Trans-gendered and Tran-sexual both mean the same thing to me

Thing is Jade, just because you see it as the same thing, doesn't make it so...

[Starfire Jade]

Thing is Jade, just because you see it as the same thing, doesn't make it so...

I don't see Cross dressers having to endure anywhere near the same thing as a Trans-women has to suffer. Thats the difference.

[Teri Jean]

Sleila, without reading the other 50 plus responses I would like to say transgendered is more a noun whereas crossdressing is a verb . Transgender is an umbrella term to encompass CD, TV, DQ, TS non-op, TS pre-op, TS post-op, etc. Most of the general public has no knowledge of any of them and if they do it is marginal.

The terms are not as important as the health of the individual both physically and emotionally. So to that end live long and prosper and "Have Fun".

Teri

[Sheila]

I don't see Cross dressers having to endure anywhere near the same thing as a Trans-women has to suffer. Thats the difference.

You don't do you not , well I do
Please go and read my original post and read it properly :straightface:

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I don't see Cross dressers having to endure anywhere near the same thing as a Trans-women has to suffer. Thats the difference.

That's not the point. No one is saying that they don't (or do). The issue is that while you are free to have whatever definitions you want for different terms, that doesn't mean the people who are using it for its other intentions are wrong for doing so.

[Tamara Croft]

Trans-gendered and Tran-sexual both mean the same thing to me. Point being, If you don't intend on taking hormones, or getting the surgery, don't refer to yourself as such. And seriously why does everything have to be a "life style?"They aren't the same thing. Transgendered is an umbrella term for all, transsexual is completely different. And I'll thank you not to tell me what I can and can't refer to my partner as. If I want to call my SO a T-Girl, I will and if you have a problem with that, that's your problem, not mine.

[ReineD]

The "male" and "female" identities I've placed in the CG circle are the binary gender definitions, indicating individuals who feel strictly one or the other.

Of course crossdressers may identify either/or as well, but this is implied in the term itself: "someone [independent of gender identification] who wears clothing his/her society considers only appropriate for a member of the opposite sex".

108127



EDIT

Trans-gendered and Tran-sexual both mean the same thing to me. Point being, If you don't intend on taking hormones, or getting the surgery, don't refer to yourself as such. And seriously why does everything have to be a "life style?"
Jade, with all due respect, if a person is color blind and sees no difference between green and blue, it doesn't mean that it is so.

[Mirani]

"Non Op Trans Woman" ... that'll do for me!

[EnglishRose]

There are so many terms one could use because there are so many states of being.

How about "non-op curious" for myself? :) No way I'd get SRS with my family commitments, probably female gender, but too scared to look like and live out in the open as one just yet?

I feel that I can't call myself female unless I've tried to live as one.

[Jill]

In my efforts to be more accepting of myself and having less shame about my CDing, I decided to tell a friend last night about this side of me. I've told people in the past and have gotten some mixed reactions. The friend I told last night was awesome about it, she may turn out to be the most supportive and accepting friend to date. She told me that she was glad that I told her and wants me to come shopping with her. I told her that I would love to go shopping but that warned her that we would have to get some things for me too.

When we were talking about it, I didn't use the word crossdresser at first. When I did, I told her that I didn't like that word, I felt that it had a lot of negative stigma's attached to it. She said that she agreed, the term crossdresser is a term that people automatically associate with a lot of negative stigma's. So I'm wondering what words can we use, if we feel so inclined, instead of the word crossdresser?

[rmills400]

i like to use 'i am into gender illusuion' - we are crossdressers, but you are right, the term when initially heard get a negitive reaction. i either day i am into DRAG or gender illusion

[Gillian]

I prefer it a million times over the term used here in the UK,,,,,,,Transvestite! Even typing it makes my flesh crawl,,,,,,

[jenifer m.]

crossdresser is fine with me.it explains what i am,and what i do perfectly.i crossdress between male,and female.

[lavistaa62]

I heard tomgirl but for me that doesn't quite capture the intent of the original portmanteau. Jerryboy doesn't seem quite right either.

[mklinden2010]

I don't use that word or any other.

I just tell them about me and what I do and life goes on.

People relate to me by my name and that's pretty much it.

[Lorileah]

I was going to say that I am a member of the transgendered community, but I don't like joining clubs. Besides the initiation was kind of freaky


i like to use 'i am into gender illusuion' - we are crossdressers, but you are right, the term when initially heard get a negitive reaction. i either day i am into DRAG or gender illusion

And saying you are DRAG doesn't get a negative reaction?

[Starfire Jade]

Sorry, but throwing a dictionary definition at me doesn't justify any of your arguments.

When you pass and can't hold a relationship with a man because you told him you were trans and he leaves you because its to much of a deal breaker and your honesty cost you. Then you can call yourself "Trans-gendered." And if you want to go as far as to lower your own self esteem and label yourself something as derogatory as a "T-girl" go ahead, I'm not stopping you. But you're still not above criticism.

I would love to see Cross-dressers have to go through the painful process of changing their names on their social security, drivers license.

Will you ever experience that? Nope, to you being a woman is nothing more than your bedtime sexual fantasy. I'm not mocking you cause thats all it is for me! Your urge to dress does not make you "Trans-gendered, Tgirls, Trannys" whatever. Unless you experience the actual pains of transitioning then don't even TALK to me about the definition of the word which you blindly apply to yourselves. You haven't suffered anywhere near the same level of pain my friend has. If you are a crossdresser, If you LIVE as a male. Then you are NOT the same as a Transgendered person, Im sorry.

[Sheila]

Sorry, but throwing a dictionary definition at me doesn't justify any of your arguments.

Sorry but you are wrong the word TRANSGENDERED encompasses the whole of the spectrum from occasional dressers right through to post op TS ............ I didn't make the rules sweetie


When you pass and can't hold a relationship with a man because you told him you were trans and he leaves you because its to much of a deal breaker and your honesty cost you. Then you can call yourself "Trans-gendered." And if you want to go as far as to lower your own self esteem and label yourself something as derogatory as a "T-girl" go ahead, I'm not stopping you. But you're still not above criticism.

Do you believe yourself to be above critisism, cos it sounds like your definition is the only one you consider right for all, if that is the case you are wrong :Angry3:


to you being a woman is nothing more than your bedtime sexual fantasy. I'm not mocking you cause thats all it is for me! Your urge to dress does not make you "Trans-gendered, Tgirls, Trannys" whatever.

Good god, how dare you insult the members here by calling them sexual fantasist's ........... that is appalling :eek::eek::eek:

My partner is TRANSGENDERED, like the majority of members hers including the F2M whom you seem to be completely ignoring, though in this case I am sure they are glad to be out of your line of anger and pain, I am sorry you are hurting, but please don't take it out on the rest of us.

Sending you :hugs: and hope they help somewhat :straightface:

[Starfire Jade]

Good god, how dare you insult the members here by calling them sexual fantasist's ........... that is appalling :eek::eek::eek:

If you live as a man, but choose to dress like a women on the side, then yes its a "SEXUAL FETISH." It started when I was 5, No explaination except it was a form of masturbation and it later evolved into what it is today. Face it, its what drives us, It technically IS a sexual fetish for non TGs. It is for me however I choose to be classy about it. But the ape men in dresses on myspace are proof.

My last LOVE was a MTF full time. I learned everything I know about passing from her. Including my viewpoints here. CDs share nothing in common. And if that IS the case, then its an umbrella term I dont want to be under.

[Kieron Andrew]

If you live as a man, but choose to dress like a women on the side, then yes its a "SEXUAL FETISH." It started when I was 5, No explaination except it was a form of masturbation and it later evolved into what it is today. Face it, its what drives us, It technically IS a sexual fetish for non TGs. It is for me however I choose to be classy about it. But the ape men in dresses on myspace are proof..
Thats YOU and only you! not every CD finds it a sexual fetish and gets off on the dressing....everyone is different

[Sheila]

If you live as a man, but choose to dress like a women on the side, then yes its a "SEXUAL FETISH." It started when I was 5, No explaination except it was a form of masturbation and it later evolved into what it is today. Face it, its what drives us, It technically IS a sexual fetish for non TGs. It is for me however I choose to be classy about it. But the ape men in dresses on myspace are proof.

My last LOVE was a MTF full time. I learned everything I know about passing from her. Including my viewpoints here. CDs share nothing in common. And if that IS the case, then its an umbrella term I dont want to be under.

Jade, Transgendered is a term for all those including CD's, and I am sorry but it is not a sexual fetish for all, if you dress for sexual reasons that does not come under the term Transgendered. My partner is Transgendered but for her it is not a sexual fetish and never ever has been

[Starfire Jade]

Jade, Transgendered is a term for all those including CD's, and I am sorry but it is not a sexual fetish for all, if you dress for sexual reasons that does not come under the term Transgendered. My partner is Transgendered but for her it is not a sexual fetish and never ever has been

Your partner is okay. But a hairy dude in a dress who lives as a man is not.

[Sheila]

Your partner is okay. But a hairy dude in a dress who lives as a man is not.

but they are and they are Transgendered Jade, please stop insulting our members :sad:

[Kieron Andrew]

Your partner is okay. But a hairy dude in a dress who lives as a man is not.

hang on a minute, did you not read what i said....not every part time dresser (hairy man in a dress is insulting IMO) whatever you want to call them, gets sexual kicks from dressing...but even if they do or dont they are still a CDer, therefore they are STILL under the transgender spectrum, no matter if you believe it to be true, it has been said for years....if you go around telling joe/jo public every CDer is into sexual kicks through dressing you are sending out the wrong message

Taken from Wikipedia

While people self-identify as transgender, transgender identity includes many overlapping categories. These include cross-dresser (CD); transvestite (TV); androgynes; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings; and drag queens; and, frequently, transsexual (TS).[26] Usually not included are transvestic fetishists

[mklinden2010]

>>If you live as a man, but choose to dress like a women on the side, then yes its a "SEXUAL FETISH." It started when I was 5, No explaination except it was a form of masturbation and it later evolved into what it is today. Face it, its what drives us, It technically IS a sexual fetish for non TGs.


I'm not offended by the thought and I think Jade's point is more often correct than most CDers will admit.

And, so, what? What isn't about sex? So, you like dressing in skirts and heals AND you get a bit of a sexual kick out of it too. Yippie!

I'll also grant that a guy who strips down and paints his chest with a big red letter and goes on to the stadium to yell at the game all afternoon does it - in part - because it's partly male sexual display, partly tribal bonding, and, partly blowing off extra energy (sexual too).

It's ALL about "the team"? Please. Don't insult my intelligence. Even the guys on the field are playing for a variety of reasons.

Fine. That's life. Go, play, have a nice time.

People chose their actions - sometimes by acting without full understanding of themselves - and behave differently from each other, but, down deep, we're all driven by the same sorts of needs, wants, and desires.

We're all people. Try to get along.

If you can't see that a person in the wrong body is having a harder time than someone in the wrong pants, then you're not paying enough attention to some important things in life.

[ReineD]

Sorry, but throwing a dictionary definition at me doesn't justify any of your arguments.


The key is in understanding the difference between cisgender and transgender. Anyone who at some level identifies as other than birth gender is transgendered.

Simple.

Granted, the pure transvestic fetishists who solidly identify as their birth gender (and who dress for no other reason than sexual gratification) may not belong under the TG umbrella any more than other people who are into different kinks (http://thefetishlist.com/definitions.htm), but to say that all crossdressers are pure fetishists is uneducated and further, it is extremely narrow-minded to refuse to consider the plethora of available information and resources that demonstrates otherwise.

And further, Jade, in case you missed it, read the bottom part of this post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2057172&postcount=75).

Let's be careful not to feed the trolls.

[NicoleScott]

GOTTCHA:D


So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?



This is the question in the original post. And it asks if we should use a term to BROADLY describe ourselves, or a term that more SPECIFICALLY describes ourselves. Some responders prefer broadly, and others specifically.

We can argue about definitions if we want to. I believe that a crossdresser is just one kind of transgendered person.

So to answer the question, no, I don't think that using the broad term transgendered helps others understand who I am. Quite the opposite. Here's an example of why: My wife sees a show on Oprah about a person born with male parts but a female brain, and is transitioning to be a full-time woman. She identifies herself as transgendered. My wife knows I crossdress, knows it's fetish-based, and knows I am happy to be a man who occasionally dresses up for pleasure. But if I say I'm transgendered rather than a crossdresser, she begins to wonder when I''ll drop the transitioning bomb on her. That won't help our relationship. Then she watches Jerry Springer and sees a drag queen or female impersonator (identified only as transgendered) prance around the stage and wonder if I'll want to do that too. Using words to better identify and narrow down what kind of transgendered person I am HELPS to be better understood.

So, I choose to describe myself in specific terms. If others want to describe themselves more broadly, that's fine with me. But I would not want to be described by someone else as simply "transgendered". Someone (like my wife, mom, or boss) might make false assumptions about me.

[Sheila]

My wife sees a show on Oprah about a person born with male parts but a female brain, and is transitioning to be a full-time woman. She identifies herself as transgendered.

Partly true hun ... she is Transgendered, but at the end of the transgendered scale she is further defined as TS, as opposed to being A CDER who is at the other end of the scale

[NicoleScott]

Partly true hun ... she is Transgendered, but at the end of the transgendered scale she is further defined as TS, as opposed to being A CDER who is at the other end of the scale

My point exactly. It's true that she's transgendered, but saying she's a transsexual more SPECIFICALLY describes who she is. Someone can say they're Asian, but saying they're Japanese, Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese tells you much more. That's why I favor more specific descriptions, rather than using the broad umbrella term "trangendered".

Maybe the problem is the prefix "trans". One definition is "across", such as transatlantic cable or transcontinental railroad. As a crossdresser, I choose to dress across traditional gender lines. But a second definition is "change", such as transform. I am not a transsexual; I have not changed into a female (inasmuch as it's possible for a person with male chromosomes to do so). So the differences expressed here may be a matter of how the "trans" in transgendered is said and heard. You say it one way, I may hear it the other way.

[Jason+]

:thumbsup: Jade, I'll give you hands down that I agree a Transsexual has a harder path to follow than an "insert accepted term here."

:thumbsdn:
Your partner is okay. But a hairy dude in a dress who lives as a man is not.

My first instinct was to snap back and harshly. I'll assume that's the man in me. Instead thank you for the drinks and the invite, my coat should cover my arm hairs and I'll show myself out of that argument. Cheers.

As for labels, Jason works pretty well. Eddie Izzard's Executive Transvestite works also. For those who just can't wrap their heads around a dude in a dress if it makes it that much easier I'll answer to Bronwynn.

[Pink Person]

I agree with Sheila. Transgender is a more precise and accurate term for transmasculine and transfeminine people. Transsexual is a more precise and accurate term for transmale and transfemale people. Everyone has a sex identity and a gender identity, and either one or both can be trans defined.

I agree totally that the term crossdresser and other terms like it have a negative meaning. They falsify, trivialize, and invalidate true, significant, and valid human forms and functions.

Sex and gender are both variable combinations of fixed and variable characteristics. We generalize the meanings of sex and gender for practical purposes, not because sex and gender have simple and uniform definitions. Trans definitions are practical because they define real groups of people better than cis definitions.

I chuckle but sometimes want to cry when people insist that their persistent, deliberate, and overt transgender behavior is not transgender. It’s an absurd claim. It implies that cisgender definitions are meaningless or don’t define different groups of other people.

[rmills400]

I was going to say that I am a member of the transgendered community, but I don't like joining clubs. Besides the initiation was kind of freaky



And saying you are DRAG doesn't get a negative reaction?



lol believe it or not, i say i am into DRAG 90% of the time and i have NEVER gotten a negitive reaction... i have tried all the terms... (lol i shop in drab alot)... when i say i am transgendered, they get freaked out because they dont understand the term, they ask when i am getting the opporation and assuming i am soon going to be a woman (clearly not the case)... and when i said i am a crossdresser, they roled their eyes as if i was now a nusence... this was many times, using these words alot... i truly find saying DRAG is the best. its known, but its known as a hobby. and i when they ask, i say yes, its a great hobby. oh and saying gender illusionist just confuses the hell out of them and you have to say, yeh, its crossdressing lol

do you get any negitive reactions from saying DRAG or however you word it Lorileah?

[Starling]

...Crossdressing is a state of action. Transgenderism is a state of being...A string-plucker might seem like an odd thing to be called... But you tell someone that you're a musician...(I crossdress for the joy of the music)...

That's awfully good, Susan. With your permission, I might use it when I come out to my tin-eared friends.

:heehee: Lallie

[Tonya Stolenski]

Shelia,

I agree how words have pre-conceived notions. Personally I hate the term "She-Male" Recently I have heard a term that is better then either crossdresser or transgendered at describing how I feel about myself..... that is Bi-Gendered.

For me, I enjoy both sides of my personality, and bi-gendered seems to really hit the nail on the head.

Anyway, that is my :2c:

i like your term bi gendered. i feel that you going in the right direction as far as trying to make it easy for people to understand but, that's the thing, most people outside of our community do not know the diference in all of those words...transsexual, transgender, trans vestite... most people think their all the same so in a way in trying to clairify you could confuse...

[Starling]

...Transvestite! Even typing it makes my flesh crawl...

Gillian, the French use the term travesti. In French it's pretty benign, but in English it sounds creepy to spare.

:straightface: Lallie

[Starling]

Jade,

You leave no room for the person who has the physical characteristics of one gender and the brain of another, who is currently unable to transition for reasons of health, expense or family. I correspond with several such people online, and believe me, when they dress to the limits of their circumstances they are not indulging in bedtime fantasies, but rather doing their best to carry on without crumbling under the weight of pretending to be male.

To publicly transition from one gender to another undeniably requires great courage and can entail great pain. But most who transition also gain immeasurably, and many find joy in the symbolism of changing their names on bank accounts, credit cards and government IDs.

There is nothing wrong with dressing purely for fun, and I don't look down on upon people who dress mainly for sexual stimulation. Sex is a good thing. But that there are many "crossdressers" who fit that description does not mean that all do. You're very young, Jade, and you don't know what lies ahead. You might be surprised by how you feel about this in fifteen or twenty years.

:) Lallie

[Danielle76]

I am sorry but I don't think dressing is a "dirty little secret" :Angry3:

A secret maybe but there is nothing is dirty about it

Come on, you know what I mean. To me, it's dirty in a sexy way. It's not something I'm at all proud of, but when I say "dirty" it's not in a judgmental way, I mean it in a naughty-arousing type of way.

[Imogen_Mann]

GOTTCHA:D

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

?

To me that's like saying "I'm human" and claiming it's a way of stopping racial hatred.... It is, yes, and in theory it might work, but I'm also English and proud of that so I say "I'm English" when people ask my race. Trans-gender covers what I do, but to be honest I think it will add confusion to the mix because people will then think... "what part of transgender ?" And will not know and may not ask... and could then make assumptions about me that are incorrect.

I prefer specifics. I am a cross-dresser, anyone that looks at me will know that it's MtF without needing to ask (:straightface:) and will know what I do... Just saying I'm transgender... Leaves too much to thier imagination and invites misconception.

The above is OPINION. My one.

[eluuzion]

I believe that most people are open to new ideas, as long as they are exactly like the old ones, or match their own beliefs. lol

Unfortunately, many people must experience a direct, positive personal benefit before changing a negative perception of something. It is not impossible to change opinion, it is just a challenge.

Watching the "social engineering" persuasion used by the television media. During the massive installation of surveillance ("traffic" cams) networks, there was a flurry of video reports showing bad guys being "caught" and arrested due to the video cams installed. That strategy of manipulation to change public opinion, or sell a new "idea", is very wrong, in my world. But sadly, it works. The "right" way is much more challenging and time consuming...piece by piece...

Anyway...regardless of the "terminology" we apply, aside from all of us dressing up as "ET" all the time, we have a long road to gaining widespread public acceptance. But, we should never give up.

[vetobob9]

GOTTCHA:D

actually it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right :straightface:

Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

For SO's F & M do you think using the term transgendered would make it easier to explain to others and lead to a more willingness to discuss our lifestyles without that initial judgment the term crossdressing appears to conjour up ?

That can’t but be based on the assumption that every guy who chooses to wear a dress does so because he believes himself to be a girl. What about the dress wearing guys who do not identify as women, and only like to wear dresses as a fashion statement, for example?


I generally use the term crossdresser because it's what most people understand. I much prefer the word "femulator" (a contraction of female emulator) though.

nice terminology. I'll have to remember that.

[Mandy]

I prefer the term crossdresser, as this is what I do, I dress as a woman Part time within my own little world. :hugs:

Transgendered, Transsexuals are mtf who wants to be a woman full time, had the counciling and are / have gone through the process to make them so.

Transvestite:eek:, makes me feel sick just typing the word, its a nasty horrid Slang term that gets blown out of all proportions.

If I may say so this is my personal view in "Lay Persons Terms" I will remove myself from the soap box :drink:

[Sheila]

What about the dress wearing guys who do not identify as women, and only like to wear dresses as a fashion statement, for example?


Transgender is a general term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies to deviate from the normative gender roles

NOW Transexualism is defined as

a condition in which an individual identifies with a physical sex that is different from their biological one.

so I guess A would apply in your question, or maybe not if the majority did that, in which case it would become the norm and therefore the Transgender definition of clothing for males would be then exempt from A ....... I think :doh::D

[Rianna Humble]

it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right :straightface:

I agree that cross-dressing is a fairly narrow term , although it encompasses a very wide range of motivations. Speaking only for myself, cross-dressing is something that I do.


Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

I have found that transgender requires more explanation but once that explanation is given, people accept it as the reason why I cross-dress.

Jade seems to think that her fetishistic motivation is the only possible reason why someone would cross-dress. In holding that opinion forth as if it were fact she demeans those of us for whom there is nothing sexual in our reasons for cross-dressing. In fact, for me, since I accepted myself as a cross-dresser, I have not had the need to seek sexual release, unlike when I was still fighting it.

I accept those who cross-dress for fetishistic reasons as being part of the broader cross-dressing community, but that does not make me a fetishist.

I also accept those who are cisgendered as part of the human race, but that does not mean that being human makes you cisgendered.


So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

It has definitely been my experience that explaining that I am transgendered has made it easier for people (including my father) to understand why I cross-dress. However, my own experience allows me to understand why a non-fetishistic cross-dresser might hesitate to call themselves transgendered.

If I can explain - as recently as a year ago, I had done such a good job of fighting who I am that I had convinced myself that I only wore "women's" clothes because I found them more comfortable not because I had any thoughts of being a woman. I also offered the rationale that as women were allowed to wear traditionally-male apparel it was hypocritically wrong to deny me the right to wear traditionally-female garb. In a nutshell, all I wanted at that point was to be a "bloke in a dress".

I firmly believe that there are some M2F cross-dressers for whom that would suffice. Although technically they might be transgendered, I think it is possible for them to be doing it purely as a sort of fashion statement in the same way that a GG wearing a man's suit might not necessarily be transgendered.

In my own experience, by the time I found crossdressers.com I had already begun to realise that I was probably not a "bloke in a skirt" but a woman in a man's body. I am saddened that there are some people in our community who cannot understand that cross-dressing encompases a broad range of actions and motivations.

Personally, I am happy for those who just want to be cross-dressers to be just that. I am also happy for those of us who realise that our anatomy does not match our "brain-gender" to call ouselves transgendered, or for those of us who live in the opposite gender to that assigned at birth to be transsexual.

I also, fully understand that someone who has completed transition, may no longer wish to use the "trans" label at all. I am also grateful that there are sufficient who have finished the journey and who are happy to stick around to help those of us who are still trying to find the way.

[Lynneth Lee]

Girls,:battingeyelashes:
I think what is going on here is a matter of semantics and most of you are saying what you personally want to be called and that's how it should be. May I offer another slant. To say, I'm transgendered sounds like "it is done" and that's the end of it. Why not say I (NOT I'M) transgender. That way it says what you do, not necessarily what you are. I don't know if this helps, but I hope so!

NANETTE FAYE :love:

I forgot to add yesterday that this old saying seems appropriate in this discussion: "A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet."
Nanette

[girlalex]

in my case im not just a corssdresser. i don't just like to put on female clothing because they look better on me and i enjoy the look. there is much more to that.
but i guess its how you look at the term. a crossdresser can be a term with one meaning which means someone who wears the clothes of the opposite sex without a significant motive behind the action of doing so. for instance an actor who plays a roll of the opposite sex would be a crossdresser actor for instance. where is being transgender gives you a concrete reason to why someone like me feels more like him self wearing female's clothing.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I usually describe myself as a "transvestite". They used that term almost exclusively when I was growing up and I knew that I was one from a young age. If one looks up the term (clinically) that is exactly what I am. It is the correct term to define what I am and I never felt a need to use a more "polite" or "politically correct" alternative.

[Rianna Humble]

May I offer another slant. To say, I'm transgendered sounds like "it is done" and that's the end of it. Why not say I (NOT I'M) transgender. That way it says what you do, not necessarily what you are. I don't know if this helps, but I hope so!

That is a nice suggestion, but does not fit me personally. I am transgendered - that is who I am. I cross-dress - that is what I do as a result of who I am.


being transgender gives you a concrete reason to why someone like me feels more like him self wearing female's clothing.

Isn't it great that we can have such a wide range of reasons and experiences with what unites us - we cross-dress.

In my case, I am not a person who feels more like himself when wearing women's clothing. I am someone who feels more like herself when wearing what society calls women's clothing (these days I only wear mine).

So let's celebrate unity in diversity!