Update why are us olders, so interested in this

[Barb123]

So what is the deal with us older cross dressing folks? Are we really increasing our cross-dressing activity with age?
I want input on this. You gals on this site seem to be mostly older (45+) and have gotten more active with this lately.
A lot of us would be interested in this subject. Aren’t you?
Here are the ideas that I want some feedback on:
1. WE have more time on our hands and it is something to do
2. We now can afford to do it right and we didn’t years ago
3. We are going thru or have gone thru mid-life
4. We are thinking “screw it”; what am I waiting for?
5. Any illusion that we could be attractive woman is gone and we can settle for a pleasant looking middle age woman. A lot easier to achieve.
6. We talk about it more because of this web site.
7. Society is more tolerant
8. It is just more fun than it used to be when your older
I hope to get at least 100 responses and summarize the feedback at the end.
Any thoughts gals? Barb123

On Feb 24th, at 2:53 pm, I started a new thread and asked on this blog; So why are us olders, so interested in this. It seemed many of us “olders” got more interested in cross-dressing as we aged. Certainly, this poll was not a scientific survey, but it was nonetheless insightful to me and I wanted to understand what was going on here.

There were about 40 responses in just 24 hours in mid week which was a great response. But once the newness of the topic eroded by newer threads, I got no more responses.

The clear number one answer was “screw it, I am doing it’. This was on 71% of respondents!
The sentiment seems to have been. ‘I had been waiting until… whatever, (kid’s growing up, wife acceptance, maybe these thoughts will go away), but I can’t contain this any longer.’ I suspect the downside risks were overcome by the needs to meet whatever is met by the needs we have to cross-dress. In the insurance business we say: “The perfume of the premium exceeded the stink of the risk”

The second most common answer was “we now have more time” this was on 42% of the replies. I guess we were less distracted doing other stuff. What are me mo longer doing?

The close third answer on 37% was this website or more conversation with others. My guess is we hear about the exploits, gained more courage or felt challenged or we see the pictures and say to ourselves “that looks like fun or I need to do something like it.” I would be open to your spins on this, too.

In last place at 9% was “it is just more fun now”. I posed the question, to see if I was typical, because this is how I felt. It has been more fun for me but that may be because I am much more relaxed. Being a 50 something, sometimes passable woman is better than a bad looking guy trying to dress up. It may just mean that we weren’t all that involved when we were younger.

Well what is your spin on the question?

If you still want register your opinion on the survey, reply or drop me a note or you can refer to the thread. i will recalculate the results again on March 6and let you know if anything changed.
Barb123

[Kimmy55]

Actually only # 4 works for me.I hid it for the longest time,deligently raising a family,caring about what the neighbors might think,etc,etc.Now that I'm older I just say "Screw it It's my time".I aint getting any younger and I've done for others the last 30 yrs.

[Karren H]

You missed the biggie!!! Were running out of friggin time!!!!

[DonnaT]

It's taken this long (30 yrs) for my wife to be accepting enough.

As for looks, HA, I looked a lot more passable in my younger years.

[MonicaJean]

#4 = yes.

#9 - break from the stresses of life, no matter what those stresses are.

[DeSkirt]

I have more time by myself where I can dig deeper into why and how.
I also agree with #4

[TxKimberly]

I think that in many ways, by the time you hit your mid to late 30's, you start to loose that fear of being something other than what everyone else is. When young, you want to fit in, you fear what people will think if they know your different. When you get older you just reach the point where that is not as important as it once was to you.
I want to do this. It makes me happy. I no longer care if someone knows I'm different.

[5150 Girl]

Well,,, I think as we get older, we tent to not give a s**t waht others may think, anymore and just go for it.
I think it's a bigger deal to the older generation because it was more of a taboo in our day. This generation doesn't see it as beeing a big deal. I think because the GBLT movement has moved from hiding in the closet to beeing more out there. Today's generation has basicly grown up with such things.

[Sarah...]

Your testosterone naturally decreases after 40 or so?

[Stephanie Miller]

When I get to what you refer to as "older" I'll let you know! :heehee:
Until then I'm just a young person trapped inside an old persons body. ( The wrong body to boot!)

While you wait - I'll let the old biddies on the site answer! :tongueout

[Samantha B L]

It's all 8 for me plus what Kim says about worrying about fitting in when you're under 30. I'm 53 and I gave up on that ages ago. Oh and who could forget that time clock running out as Karen points out. Anyhow,count me down for all 8 of 'em.

[Joanne f]

You are missing one point, when we were young it was almost impossible to do it or at least be more open about it so it just seams like we are doing it more whereas the young ones of today can do it with more ease so they will not feel this in the same way .

[LisaM]

I don't think my feelings or dressing has changed as I got older. It has been the same all along---I have never been able to get it out of my head.

[Nina (uk)]

no3. Life is to short and you only realize that with age. Although i am mid life that seems the way for me. I wanna make the most of it.

Forgot no4.

[Kathi Lake]

I'm good with #'s 2, 4, and 6 - I have enough money to support Kathi (My, that girl can shop! :)), I'm getting older, and I will take every chance I can get for happiness, and this website really helps. I don't care about society, so #7 can take a flying leap! :) Although that could just be the old age talking. Darn kids today. Hey!! Get off my lawn!

:)

Kathi

[JustWendy]

It's definitely not #3 - I have less money now than at any other time in my adult life - separated and supporting 2 homes. I think it's a touch of each of the rest, with a large dose of #4 and, as Karren said, if not now, when? I also agree with what Kimberly said, the older you get, the less pressure you feel to fit in.

[bobi jean]

I understand that I am differant than some on here but still wish I could be more like some of the others.(full time is my goal). crossdressing is something I need to do, not like to do, not any more.
#1. no I don't have any more time on my hands now. I am still working and have my family, especially the grand daughters to spend time with. I am able to and do dress everyday at work now. I even drive to and from nearly every day.
#2. no more money to spend and it is not any cheaper now than any time before. I just keep using the same outfits to buy the new one is.
#3. went thru the mid life crisis and all that a long time ago but just recently decided to do it as close to 24/7 as possible.
#4. I totaly said screw it a few months ago.
#5. The illusion of passing went out the window a long time ago and being easier to pass as a middleaged lady is much easier. I have found that even shooting for an oler age yet isn't much fun but still easier yet.
#6. I have recently found that I LOVE talking about it. and yes it has helped considerably.
#7. social tolerance is changing but I don't think most of us live in total acceptance anywhere we go. Maybe at home with a totally accepting SO but that is about it. My need to live 24/7 is why I live alone now.
#8. More Fun? where would anyone get that IDEA from. For most of us the fun went out the window when we discovered it is a need rather than a choice. however, it is just as enjoyable now as it ever has been. At least since the sexual part isn't a factor anylonger. It is a need to dress, not so much a choice for most of us.. At least it is for me.

A great thread though. I can't wait to read more responses.

[Amanda Stubbs]

I can agree with 1,2,4,5,6 & 8 no3 if I had a midlife crisis ididnt notice! No 8 not so sure about tollerance especially where I live although I've noticed many more youngsters are much more open nowadays

[fetishtop]

Interesting questionnaire. I've never been dissatisfied with my situation, age, or self-image when it came to cross-dressing. Over the years I've been content to cd when it was convenient. I kept it to myself simply because it was easier in all ways. It's true that in retirement, I have more free, uninterrupted time (item #1). Cding being affordable or not never figured into my equation (item #2). Going through midlife has nothing whatever to do with me (item #3). I've always done what I wanted as long as it felt comfortable (item #4). I long ago accepted the fact that I do not have the right kind of physical presentation that would please me en femme so it's never happened, and won't. Not a problem (item #5). I only came across this website in the last few weeks, so it has had no effect on my cd nature. I am saddened that so many people seem to be having a terrible time dealing with their cd nature (item #6). Is society "more tolerant" these days? Perhaps. Depends upon where you live, I think (item #7). Cding has always been "fun" for me, although that word is inadequate to describe what I derive from crossdressing.

As for the "age factor," I'm sure that everyone has their own landscape of sexuality, whatever years they have. Some people shut down early, others never do. Learning what works with what you have seems important, i.e., listen to yourself carefully to determine what will work, what is appropriate to your inner being. Violate the needs of the latter and you will possibly betray yourself and become unhappy.

[Anna_S]

Hi Barb, I'm 51.... here are my thoughts on your most interesting post! Look forward to the summary...

1. WE have more time on our hands and it is something to do

I have a lot less time than I used to


2. We now can afford to do it right and we didn’t years ago
I have big debts and no spending money. I buy clothes on Ebay. Even my (spits) male clothes.

3. We are going thru or have gone thru mid-life
Probably :)

4. We are thinking “screw it”; what am I waiting for?
Yeah a bit of that

5. Any illusion that we could be attractive woman is gone and we can settle for a pleasant looking middle age woman. A lot easier to achieve.

I think I'm more attractive as a man.... ok not to 20 somethings. But I think I could find an attractive 40 something.... Just don't want to. I think I'm female.


6. We talk about it more because of this web site.
No

7. Society is more tolerant

I think it was far more tolerant in the early 80s when I was young.

8. It is just more fun than it used to be when your older

Maybe




Anyway.....look forward to reading all the replies


Anna

[tricia_uktv]

Maybe we have just grown up?

[sherri52]

I'm only 58 but if you want my opinion with the old girls here it's # 4 . We have given up on what people think. For years we went through the stages of fear hoping that no one will find out. Now we don't care who finds out, we don't want to hide anymore.

[kimdl93]

I certainly have more time on my hands now that the kids are all out of the house - and greater "security" knowing they won't often pop in un announced. Also, I made sure that my CDing was acceptable to my SO before we married, so it hasn't been at all difficult to incorporate into my daily routine. And finally, I do think we become more feminine as we age, especially in the hormonal sense. testosterone levels decline after late 30's...so there's less of that guy stuff fighting off the girl inside! My theory at least!

[Roberta Lynn]

"While you wait - I'll let the old biddies on the site answer!"
Hey I resemble that remark!!! Thanks a lot Stephanie M :D

# 1, 6 and 4 are probably most relevant to me.

#1: The last 10-12 years I worked I was putting in 60-70 hrs a week, not only did I not have the time I didn't have the energy to dress. Now that I'm retired and my children are out of the house I have the time, energy and the opportunity.

#6:Being on this site has made me become more accepting and comfortable with myself, so I probably do dress more often because of all the support here.

#4 I've reached the point where, except for my wife and children, I don't care what other people think of my cross- dressing, if they don't like it that's their problem. But I do agree with Karen's point of view. I ain't gettin any younger. :sad:

The rest of the points have some relevance, except for #5
I have never, at any age, thought I would make an attractive woman.

[Jamie48]

#1 Yes I have more time to indulge & it is great.
#2 Yes I can afford more now. So many beautiful things to buy & I,m not getting any younger.
#4 Yes I am to the point in life where I just don't care what others think I
am fully accepting of myself & am just going to enjoy. I am fully dressed right now & I feel great.

[JustWendy]

I'm good with #'s 2, 4, and 6 - I have enough money to support Kathi (My, that girl can shop! :)), I'm getting older, and I will take every chance I can get for happiness, and this website really helps. I don't care about society, so #7 can take a flying leap! :) Although that could just be the old age talking. Darn kids today. Hey!! Get off my lawn!

:)

Kathi

Kathi - be careful leaving out numbers 1, 3, 5, and 7 - they may try to get even. Ouch, sorry, I was a math major.

[Imogen_Mann]

I have more time, because I don't get distracted by trifles as I did in my 20's.

I have more money, and a level head helping me achieve financial freedom through delayed gratification.

I have fewer work worries, having settled into a job that suits both my personality and my pocket.

I have at least 10 years before mid life, assuming I live to 100... Which I intend to.

I have realised that I play the hand I am dealt, I'm not going to be a porn-star shaped trans-goddess, I'm going to be me... In a dress if I like.

I have realised that 99.9% of all the things I worried about even 10 years ago, are just so much old toss. Happiness is what matters... When I'm gone I'll be just as dead as a miserable millionaire.

When I lie on my death bed I'm damned if I'm going to be saying... "I wish I spent more time worrying about what people thought of me".

[minalost]

While you wait - I'll let the old biddies on the site answer! :tongueout

...but I'll bet you can out run me :tongueout! Young whipper-snapper...

As far as #2: I WISH!
After that I'll go with 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Karren makes a good point too: not much time left!
:hugs:

[msniki48]

Barb,

I really think that society is more tolerant today...or within this past 8 to 10 yrs. If i thought about walking into a store when i was in my 20's, i would have a headstone right now. i really think that. i believe we all dressed at a younger age but did our very best to hide it...even from each other...there was no internet to find people with like interests. So for me it is number 7#.

and i do think this sudden burst of middle aged dressers, is that we know much more about the psychology behind the dressing, and it is more acceptable to to society or at least they are tolerant and we've been dying to get out for the past 30+ yrs or more.

PS: i'm 58

just my :2c:

[TammyCA]

So many different reasons for each of us. For me..a divorce (reasons not related to dressing) gave me the freedom in my life..*finally*...just to be me. :)

[Terri D]

Has to be #4 for me. I know I certainly don't have the extra money. I just work some overtime and pay for shopping sprees that way.

[Madilyn A.]

For me, it's 1,4, and 8. Yes I have more time to spend dressed in my pretties, and yes there is less time left to spend in my pretties, and I enjoy dressing more each day. Simply put, girls have more fun ! I can only imagine how much fun my blonde sisters must be having. lol !

[Kerrylee61]

Ok, so I certainly qualify as "older" and have absolutely nothing holding me back. My wife is fully supportive, I'm retired, our children are totally accepting and I have no issues going out in public, shopping or anything else. Guess what....

I haven't been fully dressed in at least a year or more. Sure, I am always under dressed to some extent but the full meal deal just seems to not be worth the effort anymore. It hasn't been for at least 5 to 6 years.

It's mystifies me. Maybe there is the lack of the "thrill" or maybe given that I was diagnosed as gender disphoric years ago and I chose not to have the srs that I just sort of accepted things as they are?


Kerry

[Annaliese]

All of them, work for me.

[vivian fair]

While I have dressed all my life I do find I'm doing it more now. like everyday! I can afford the expense now, I have the time, I do it for myself, I no longer give a rats a-- who knows, I have a permit to carry and do,and I use transderm patchs to overcome the normal drop in testosterone. And I have retired from the military which did hold me back somewhat. My close family knows,and I live alone. So I dress as I feel. Vivian:love:

[Jodi M]

A lot of us are older girls because thats how long it took us to come to self acceptance and realize there is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed of what we do.and we have discovered there are so many others just like us. Also you get tired of living by every one elses rules and decide to go by your own rules. Numbers 1,4 and 7 I guess.

[AllieSummers]

I would say all of the above. I just think that most of us finally reached the age where we saw our youth slipping away and instead of fighting it, we finally gave into it while we had some youth left.

Like they say, "If you can't beat them, join them". :)

Kisses,

Allie

[Raychel]

We are thinking “screw it”; what am I waiting for?

[renee k]

2456, that my answer! I can afford it, and have had alot things done too prove it. And yes I can pull off a mature woman look. And since Al Gore invented the internet I can connect with others that share my feelings on this subject. And I don't give a rat's a$$ on what others think!

Renee

[JustAlex]

1. We have more time on our hands and it is something to do

I think this one applies to people way older than 45. I'm 50 and I'm busy as I was at 20, 30 or 40.

2. We now can afford to do it right and we didn’t years ago

This is definitely a factor but I don't think it's completely related to age but stands to reason to assume that you're more likely to have a better financial status at an older age.

3. We are going thru or have gone thru mid-life

Not sure about this one. Surely I got more confident about who I am and what I do.

4. We are thinking “screw it”; what am I waiting for?

I guess this one applies to me from the moment I started wearing my own stuff at my own place.

5. Any illusion that we could be attractive woman is gone and we can settle for a pleasant looking middle age woman. A lot easier to achieve.

Not my case.

6. We talk about it more because of this web site.

Absolutely. Maybe not just this site but the opportunity to talk about it with some privacy.

7. Society is more tolerant

No way

8. It is just more fun than it used to be when your older

I don't think so. It was a lot more fun when I was a kid because it was play. Now it's not. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy it but I enjoy it as much as wearing things that I like and look good on me gender aside. Only sometimes I wear for fun.

[Melinda G]

When I was younger, I was busy working, paying bills, raising kids, etc. I dressed when I could, but I surely didn't have several hours a day to play on a computer, or the internet.

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi - be careful leaving out numbers 1, 3, 5, and 7 - they may try to get even. Ouch, sorry, I was a math major.Ouch indeed! A math major, eh? Wow. I, on the other hand, am severely mathophobic. Why, even the thought of mixing numbers and letters together (it's just unnatural!) almost gives me vapor lock. You should use numbers for counting things, and letters for spelling things.

:)

Kathi

[kathie225]

CDiing is somewhat different from that stated in the various replies. None of the eight factors really apply to me although I experienced a mid-life crisis. That crisis however, was unrelated to my cding and did not influence it in any way. It was at that time (a little over forty years ago) that I said "screw it". Again it was unrelated to cding and was of no influence.
I enjoy cding to a far lesser degree than most. I do not seek to pass, but I do seek my feminine side. That however, is satisfied by weariing ladies undergarments and lounge wear. So if I need to vacumn and dust the house or cook meals or engage in other domesticate chores, I slip into panties, nice lounging wear and have at it pretending my gender miraculously changed.
Absent that I am always in panties at work or play and enjoy the ride.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Barb, I'm pretty sure I answered your survey. I can't remember exactly what I said. I'm 53 and I want to spend some of the time I've got left dressing. I dressed openly for about 6 months or so when I was like 19 or 20 but some family members of mine were so obstinate about it I had to stop doing it and act like I "quit" crossdressing. They acted like they were cool with it but they really thought it was ghoulish and freaky. I resumed dressing a few years later with my girlfreind as my mentor then she died five years ago, so really,I feel like "what have I got to lose". I have family in a town about 40 miles from here but I'm in my apartment living by myself so I figure "why not". I have middle aged health problems but my doctor says I could live another 40 years if I continue to take al my cholesteral and blood pressure meds and continue with not smoking. I quit smoking in 1995

[Loni]

yes the first responce is about right.:doh:

life is short, after 50 not much left to have fun with.

almost killed in a very bad auto crash last year... time to enjoy what is left of my time here.:heehee::D


.

[Shari]

Nice one Barb. You snuck a survey through even though we're not allowed to have them anymore.

As far as the what did I do before with the time I have now....
Does beating my children count?
It seemed it was a full time job keeping them on the straight and narrow.
Just kidding about the beatings.
Actually, I worked a lot trying to feed three kids and keep a roof over our heads.

[SweetCaroline]

I'm relatively young--37--so I don't know if I qualify as an "older", but I've been interested dressing since childhood, and actively crossdressing since I was a teenager, but I didn't start going out and about until about 3 years ago, so I consider that quite a long wait.

I would have loved to have gone out when I was much younger, and even dreamed of it, but it was mostly just a fantasy. Part of the reason was because I wouldn't have known where to go. I wouldn't have thought of going to a gay club, since I don't consider myself homosexual, and I didn't know of any Transgender groups at the time. (This was around the early nineties, before the internet was really big.)

But the other reason was because there was always a certain element of arousal associated with crossdressing as a teen/ young adult. I wouldn't have been able to dress in public because of that reason. As I got older, I was able to control the 'fetish' aspects of dressing a lot better. At least that's my take on why I waited until I was older to become more active.

[Claire Cook]

Maybe 5 and 7, but I'm not sure that any of them really work for me. The older I get, the less I worry about this uptight male persona I'm supposed to have and just let the real me that is inside express her/my self.

Oh -- and Karren as usual has it dead-on!!

[RADER]

I dont think I awnsered your survey. How ever being 63 now, and retired,
I have more time to undulge if it were. Since I do not have to go to work,
(construction) or have to worrie about being "Found Out".
Yes, I do under-dress 24/7, witch before almost never happened. All though I will never pass out side the house, I dress 2-3 times in the house each week. About the limit for my Wife. Rader:)

[Jenny Doolittle]

Barb,

Great question, sorry I missed answering earlier.

I am in mid 50's now and have been dressing since I was 6-7. In the early years there was no internet so I did feel all alone. Through late teens and 20's I would purge and make empty promises to stop because of religious teaching and society said it was wrong. Of course the pressures of make a living had to play a part of staying in the closet.

It was not until I grew older that I realized through the net that there were others like myself. Making friends with this common bond had to have impact on my decisions. I had rationalized that I am who I am, God made me that way and I should allow myself to enjoy that fact.

So, in a nut shell I think it was a combination of all the reasons you had suggested. The most important thing for me is accepting myself as a good person. If others can't deal with that, well that is their problem.

But, Like any girl, I sure wish I had this attitude when I could have really experianced what it was like to have been a hottie in my teens! :D

[Kristy 56]

I think Jenny hit the nail right on the head for me.At 57 my time left is limited,and I'm going to enjoy myself for a change.Changes in society,along with the internet has now made a lifestyle available that I never could've dreamed of.

[AlsoSamantha]

Jenny really said it all!

I've "dabbled" in cross dressing since I was about 5 years old (I'm 51 now), but repressed it until I was in my 40's.

For me, I think it was about achieving a level of maturity where I could finally accept and even embrace this side of myself, and finally give myself permission to express who I really am. The internet did a lot to show me I wasn't alone in this, and I was o.k, and not some kind of freak or pervert.

I only wish I could have come to this much earlier in my life. I wasted a lot of years trying to be what society expected of me, instead of just being who I am:fairy3:

[Tina B.]

Didn't see your survey, but for me it's simple. I have time (retired) I have gathered a large wardrobe over the years, and it would be a shame not to use it. And as I age, and hormones change, I feel more feminine than ever. On top of that I have an excepting wife that makes it easy for me to find the time to spend days on end dressed with full make up, wig and nails done.
But mostly I left guilt back in my forty's so I enjoy dressing so much more than I did when I was younger.
Tina B.

[jenifer m.]

well im only forty but thats kinda old im getting to the point that i just dont care what strangers say or do.im getting over my fear of them judging me,and im doing what feels right to me.

[Lucy_Bella]

I am not yet over 45 years old, but close enough... Reasons listed below.

1. Divorced/ Seperated

2. Living alone/ last year anyways (no longer true)

3. Mind Set / Doing things you never could before and always wanted to because you couldn't for reasons listed ( married to an un accepting S.O. , Kids and expense )..

4. Getting Older / Understanding and excepting yourself because you now know after spending half your life fighting it that it is never going to go away..So we learn to accept ,understand and embrass it.

[Frédérique]

Well, I've never heard the word "older" used as a noun, but here goes...

WE have more time on our hands and it is something to do.
I’ve always had plenty of time and space, and the DESIRE to crossdress…

We now can afford to do it right and we didn’t years ago.
Not applicable – my dressing is minimalistic and cost effective.

We are going thru or have gone thru mid-life.
I never grew up, darling…:heehee:

We are thinking “screw it”; what am I waiting for?
Yes, time is running out – why do you think I started dressing in the first place? As soon as you’re born the clock starts ticking…

Any illusion that we could be attractive woman is gone and we can settle for a pleasant looking middle age woman. A lot easier to achieve.
You use what you have and make the best of it. BTW, it has NEVER been easy…

We talk about it more because of this web site.
Definitely a plus – I get inspiration here on a daily basis.

Society is more tolerant.
Who cares? I do what I want to do…

It is just more fun than it used to be when you’re older.
It’s always been fun, which is why I do it and keep doing it. Analyzing why you do something is not fun – you should keep that in mind…:naughty