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View Full Version : The Good, the Funny, and the Bad



Maryanne_sa
02-24-2010, 05:33 PM
The good.

On Friday last week, I had my appointment, arranged by my doctor, with the Psychiatrist and Clinical Psychologist at Queen Mary's Hospital in Roehampton.

I had my eyebrows shaped in the morning, partly as I wanted them to look nice for the appointment, and partly because I was overdue for a salon visit. I had some other waxing done at the same time,

I dressed in my black skirt, a floral top, red jumper, black opaque tights, and black shoes, red coat, make-up & wig, and off I went. I caught the 493 from Southfields which stops right outside Queen Mary's. I was about 30 minutes early, so I had a coffee in the coffee bar downstairs to pass the time.

During the appointment, we covered my childhood, childhood friendships, (I had boy and girl friendships when I was young, which they thought was unusual as most children are friends mainly with the own sex at that age - they said!) relations with my parents? When did I started dressing, What was my relationship with my father, mother etc? Was my father the dominant figure in the household (No, he was not) Who was my female roll model. (my grandmother) She was the one who saw the female in me, and often said I should have been born a girl.

Had I had any homosexual experience? (No, I have not, and have never been attracted to males). Had i seriously contemplated suicide.?

What did I call my private parts? Nothing, I just want them gone!. The Pscyhologist said that I was embarrassed talking about my body. I agreed and said that's because it's the wrong body.

We then had a discussion on what I wanted doing. - hormones, surgery, laser hair removal, femininine facial surgery ( I said I realise that the NHS would not pay for this one.) My appointment lasted for about an hour and 20 minutes. Eventually, they said that they did not need to see me again and would refer me to The Charing Cross Gender Cllinic. There is probably quite a lot of stuff, I left out in the above synopsis, but this is the jist of the appointment.

Feeling really happy and relaxed after the appointment, I took the bus back and decided to go to the pub and have a half a laager as I did not feel like going home yet, but also due to my decision not to be scared to do and go everywhere in public as the women that I am.

I was quietly sitting in the corner, thinking about the appointment and other things I should have said, when a somewhat inebriated gentleman, on his way to the loo, stopped at my table and said 'Awright Girl?' 'Yes, I'm fine thank you', I said, and he trundled off up the stairs to the loo.

Abouth 15 minutes later, the same gentleman, on his way to the loo again, stopped at my table and said 'awright girl?' 'Yes, I'm fine thank you' I said. 'Are you alone girl?? 'No, I said, my friend will be here soon' I said.' Well, don't worry', he said, patting my arm.'I'll look after you'. and off he trundled up the stairs. It was difficult not to laugh. Anyway, I finished my half a laager, and decided at this point that discretion was the best option , so I left, before he came trundling down.

The Bad,


I have just read Carole Cross's post that says it has taken a year from her referral to Charing Cross, to get her first appointment. It's wonderful for her to have a date, but terrible news to read that it has taken a year!, and I am really down about this as I am of more advanced age, so, as the Psycholgist said, time is of the essence. I will have to find another way. I can wait for surgery, but I won't wait a year before I can go on hormones. I will have to look at the cost of going private, which I can ill afford, especially as my wife and I seperated in November and there are now two households to support. Oh dear! What to do? Ah well!!! Right now, the tears are welling in my eyes, and I could not feel more down.



Maryanne,

Loni
02-25-2010, 08:19 PM
i can help....a little.:heehee:
i need a house keeper, i can pay $100. a month to keep the house clean and me fed.

and you can sleep out side in the trailer.

or the commute would be a killer:eek:


this is said toung in cheep please.

hope you can work out the cash problem, the jolly green giant that keeps on taking more and more of our moneys make just living a problem.

heres something i hope helps your day:hugs::hugs:


loni

.

Carole Cross
02-26-2010, 03:21 PM
Maryanne I can undersfand how frustrated you must feel at this point. I often wish that I could start hormone treatment but I can't afford to go private and even if I could I may lose my funding because I will not be following the recommendations of my PCT, which is to follow the procedure set out by Charing Cross.

Although it seems a long way off, I know this is a cliche, the time really does pass quickly. I have used the time to have laser treatment and focus on that to help pass the time. I have also been going out more presenting as female and I am going full time in April.

If you are considering going private you should check with your doctor and make sure it will not affect your funding.

:hugs: Carole x

Maryanne_sa
02-28-2010, 09:29 AM
thanks for the offer Loni. Love your sense of humour. I think the commute to London, just might mean that I have to refuse your offer!

Maryanne

Maryanne_sa
02-28-2010, 09:34 AM
Hi Carole,

Thank you for your advise. I am going to make an appointment with my Doctor and talk to him about it. I will ask him to find out if my funding will be effected if I go private on the hormones.

In all probability, I wont be able to afford them anyway. I have no idea what they cost.

You are right, I will be getting on with laser treatment in the interim.

Who do you go to for treatment and which system to they use? IPL, seems to be the most common.

Take care,

Maryanne,

Gillian
02-28-2010, 09:42 AM
Well done you and congratulations on ytour wonderful news and new journey.

I have a daily interaction with the NHS and Primary care side especially and yes the waiting lists are far from as short as we are to believe, however be patient as a year is not as long as a lifetime in the wrong body. and you are now on your way to have that wrong firmly put to rights. I have watched from a third eye the disorganisation and chaos if not anarchy inside the NHS and feel so much for the thousands of truly good people and pateints that get snared in the red tape bureacracy of the many job's worth's, but, critically, this hurdle is all but passed.

Now, possibly and potentially,,,,,,,, maybe,,,,,,,,,,

I have known for people to contact the relevant departments after a few weeks have passed to enquire after their appointment dates, and I have even heard that in some cases that,,,, this may bring the patient in a little faster than the silence and wait and see routine, another little offering is that you could, when in the area, "drop in" and visit the unit and introduce yourself, as I have further heard this can also help.

This is only an observation based on experiences I have had observing the system.

Maryanne_sa
02-28-2010, 10:05 AM
[INow, possibly and potentially,,,,,,,, maybe,,,,,,,,,,

I have known for people to contact the relevant departments after a few weeks have passed to enquire after their appointment dates, and I have even heard that in some cases that,,,, this may bring the patient in a little faster than the silence and wait and see routine, another little offering is that you could, when in the area, "drop in" and visit the unit and introduce yourself, as I have further heard this can also help.

This is only an observation based on experiences I have had observing the system.[/QUOTE]

Wow, what a good idea. popping in. I would not have thought of that. I will definately try phoning and will also popp in and see how that goes.

Thanks so much,

Maryanne,

Gillian
02-28-2010, 10:10 AM
Its my pleasure, like I say this comes from watching the "system" in my area of work and have to say, it does seem to work, however from your perspective it will give you a foresight at least of the place the people and the feel.

Best wishes to you, I know Southfields well as for five years I used to stay at the Travelinn at Putney a couple of nights a week every week! I know Roehampton well too and that big ole Hospital at the top of the hill.