A little perspective

[AKAMichelle]

I met another crossdresser for lunch the other day and we talked about our journey to understand ourselves. Several things came up in the conversation which got me to thinking later that day.

Many of us who are in the closet or left to hide our crossdressing from our spouse, buy items and store them for later use. Whether is it some lingerie, clothes, makeup or jewelry we spend money without the others knowledge. So it got me thinking about how we handle finances with our SO. A recent article that I read about couple finances talked about how many couples deal with mad money or large purchases. Some couples depending upon their finances would put a $50 limit on a big purchase while others may adjust to $20. The article dealt with the fact that in order to be fair to the other partner in the relationship, each partner adhered to these rules.

So when you go out shopping for female side, do you go over that boundary you agreed to with your SO and just keep quiet or never spend above that level?

This area seems to be a big part of what causes a woman to get upset with us when they finally find out we crossdress. We never told our SO and then to add insult we spent all of this money without their knowledge. We even may have lied about our whereabouts to cover our shopping trips. I easily understand why women are so upset with us.

[Dee2U]

My SO is a big-time clothing shopper so I probably could never catch up. I just wish more of her stuff would fit me! That aside, I am in the closet with her and am discreet with my purchases and have not even passed the $75 mark with any one purchase...Dee

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I do the budgeting in our house & my SO sees it, but she would rather not HAVE to do it but she also understands that it helps keep us in line.

That being said, we don't have a preset limit, but we generally keep it to $30 or less unless we discuss it.

As for her being jealous of my spending. She knows what I spend. She isn't jealous. I have to take her shopping and make her pick out clothes for herself. Otherwise, she likes shopping for the kids. So i remind her that she needs to spend some money on herself.

[hotskirt]

No problem. She get so much a week to spend on her self anyway she pleases and so do I. When we go to town she goes by herself and I do also but not at same time. I'm not very patient when shopping with wife. Denise

[sherri52]

When I was married the first time, my wife didn't work. She never worked the entire time we were married. When spending money on Sheri, I didn't feel that I took from the family as I never bought anything else for myself. There was always new clothes for my wife and children, food on the table, more than enough toys, and a house to live in. I also spent many hrs each day with the children. No I did not feel guilty about spending the money.

[AllieSF]

During 20 plus years of marriage we never had a budget but always knew how to not over spend. She bought what she needed and wanted within reason and I did the same, buying a lot less than she ever did. I was never on a tight budget as I progressed though my career. Hopefully, when, and if, I ever get together with someone again, I hope that I can maintain that level of trust and self control as before.

[Jenny Beth]

Everything I make goes straight into my wife's hands, she's better at juggling the money than I am. So whenever I want to spend a little on my feminine side I simply bat my eyelashes and beg nicely. :battingeyelashes: If that doesn't work there's always pouting but I haven't had to resort to that yet. :heehee:

[docrobbysherry]

When we GOT married, we cut up all her credit cards, I paid them all off, and we agreed on a monthly budget.:)

When we got divorced, she admitted, " I can't budget"! And, she had 14 credit cards with $50,000+ on them!:eek:

Good thing I hadn't started shopping for Sherry back then!:brolleyes: