Funny incident today

[Persephone]

I seldom spend a whole lot of time in "boy world," so I'm really not sure if what happened today is "normal." My suspicion is that it wasn't, but perhaps you can tell me if it was a "typical" interaction or not.

My spouse and I had a business meeting with a woman this morning, a person whom we know well and in whose mind I am "male." I was wearing Dockers, a male polo shirt, and a men's leather jacket.

As it turned out, the woman had lost a ton of weight since we saw her a few months ago, had really toned up, and was wearing clothes that really showed off her hard work.

One thing she was wearing was a striking pair of shoes, chunky 4½ heels with those little "biscuit" platforms under the sole (it looks a bit like you are standing on a hamburger). Not really my favorite style, but they were what she was wearing.

I said, "Wow! You look awesome! Cute shoes!"

She said, "Thanks! They're from Nine West. I love 'em 'cause they're so comfortable. I can wear them here at work, I can wear them to go to the mall, just about anywhere."

I don't know. Was that "ordinary?" Or a sudden bit of women-to-woman chit chat?

[Loni]

normal..
if you had contuned then it would have been woman to woman.:heehee:


.

[crossdrezzer1]

I am always saying,,, cute blouse or cute top to girls,, should I not?

[Maria in heels]

I think that telling her that her shoes are cute are just fine! Even if you don't want certain people to know that you dress, just pay attention to guys in general - as a woman or even one sister walks past in a pair of heels, their eyes will follow to your shoes immediately...then rise up! If you don't believe me, just watch now LOL. Sounds like you were commenting on clothing, which is a girl thing, but I have a couple of workers/friends that actually have a "foot fetish" and everyone knows because its very hard for them to "hide it"...

We all comment from time to time, but I have to say that it is easier as my wife for 20 years has worked in the NYC Fashion Center for manufacturers...we comment together all the time..

[marcigbg]

Its not that out of the ordinary, what you did. Now it would have been catty if you thought The following. 1) I can pull that look off better. 2) What in the world are you wearing.

I check out shoes myself. I think wow I'd look hot in that.

Hugs & Kisses
Marci

[Jamie48]

Commenting on a Womens appearance & what she is wearing is perfectly normal for me. Women love the attention & it shows you care how someone presents themselves.

[JustWendy]

I think guys might pass a comment like, "Gee, you look great" and if they even notice the shoes, maybe they say, "Great shoes" but I don't think they feel, much less use, the word "cute". We notice fashion more, wondering if that color would look good on us, or how we'd look in those shoes :daydreaming:. And we do think in terms of "cute" or "fun". I also think it's interesting that she shared details about the shoes. Whether either of you actually realized it at the time, I think you were sharing a girl moment, and very comfortable with it.

[JustAlex]

"Wow! You look awesome!"

This one is ambiguous, so you can hear it from a man meaning from "nice rack" to "nice outfit"



"Cute shoes!"

This one is the real problem!!! Either gay or a CDer

But seriously, it's normal for a 100% testosterone male to compliment a woman for what she wears. But it's an overall appreciation. What it's uncommon is a man going into the details. Part of it is gender orientation, men don't look those details, they just don't. The other part is cultural, it's hard to pay attention to the details when you have no knowledge about it. If you don't know mechanics, you can be impressed by the overall look of a car engine. When you know, you look at the details, whatever they are (bad example, I know nothing about car engines). When you look at a woman, you can tell what she's wearing, you can describe the outfit accurately because you know the words and that makes it easier to appreciate and remember it. A male with no experience in female clothing would say "a dress... I guess... probably shoes... most likely...".

[jenifer m.]

i use the term cute all the time in reference to all kinds of stuff,and my wife said one time that i sound gay sometimes but i guess its all in how you use the words.i think it was a girly moment for you both,and im sure she loved hearing such a complement from a man.

[sherri52]

That's normal. A man like a woman looks for something to compliment the other person on. A woman finds it easier to compliment a man by noticing his tie. Complimenting her on her makeup would have been over the edge.

[insearchofme]

Persephone

I think what you experienced was normal for a woman responding to a compliment. A few years ago I was going to a wedding rehersal dinner, walking with my nephew, neice and
step- neice. My nephew was a freshman in college and I was teasing him about dating. I said that if he needed any tips I'd be more than happy to help him.

He laughed and said something to the effect that i since i'd been married for over 30 years I probably didn't have any game at all. I told him to watch this. I said to my step-neice, "Hey Steph, nice shoes". she immediately turned and told me they were her favorite pair and just loved wearing them. She went on for a bit about where she got them, ect. I looked at my nephew and he just said "Wow".

I told him that all guys should compliment girls on their shoes, it's a great ice breaker. So I guess it's a typical reaction to a positive comment.

Hugs,

[eileendover]

Saying, "Wow! You look awesome! Cute shoes!" - Not a problem.

Saying, "Wow! I really like your peep-toe slingbacks!" - Perhaps TMI?

[Jenny Doolittle]

Your comments as long as they are complimentary are always welcome in my mind.

I personally think everyone loves to be complimented, we all work so hard to look good so why not tell someone.

Now if you would like the person you compliment to know you as your female self, continue with girl chat.

[Kathi Lake]

Well, to me, she was responding as a woman to a woman. Here's why I think that:

As said above, "You look awesome" is a very "guy" comment. A normal reciprocation to that would be a "Thanks!" The phrase, "Cute shoes!" with the amount of honest appreciation you no doubt put into it, crosses the line into "not very guy-ish." It is her response to that that tells me that, consciously or not, she was interacting with you woman to woman. A "normal" woman's response to you would likely have been a simple "Thanks." However, you got "the whole dance" - where she got them, how she felt about them and more. That tells me that you managed to penetrate the gender barrier with her.

. . . and yes, I may be overthinking this. It's my nature. :)

Kathi

[Gillian]

I'd say normal too, I have been known to say similar things and not be thought odd by those the comments were aimed at, just that I was interested.