Dilemma??

[SuzyZahn]

Well ladies,,,hmm I dont know if this has ever come to terms in your live before,,or yet to??,,But as a life long Girl(started about 9 or 10),,,now into my 50`s,,,,mature girl,,,lol,,,with a loving accepting wife I feel a bit confused,,,,the situation is ,,,currently wife allows Susan to around anytime kids are not home and has grown very comfortable with her GF,,,(that took awhile to get to this acceptance mind you),,,, so,,,as i`ve aged through the years,,ive found myself dressing more and more and being very comfortable with doing so,,,,I have no urge for SRS,,etc,,,and have re assured wife so,,,but im starting to feel abit guilty on maybe `missing out on life,,,which is sociaizing with male buddies,and activities,,,,since wife allows anytime nowdays,,,,it seems i prefer being Susan over socializing with friends aquaintanences and alot activities I used to do almost religously,,,,but,,,,this feeling and attraction of my femme side at this time of my life feels sooo intense and right to do,,,,My question I guess is,,,do any of you put your feminity formost in your lives when you have `free time``?? I hope i`ve made sense,,,thanks

[Danielle Gee]

Suzy:
I’m in almost the same situation as you …..50’s, free to dress whenever I want, no male friends (except work). I went thru the same period of questioning my life about 6 or 7 years ago. I came to the following conclusions……

1-I didn’t want any male friends because I found most men crude and boring.

2- My dressing wasn’t bothering anyone because my kids didn’t know and my wife seemed to enjoy it.

3- I was no different than some of my work-mates who spent evenings sitting around “animal” or “veterans” clubs smoking, drinking, and generally being men.

4- So, enjoy it when you’re able, refrain when you need to, and don’t feel guilty about it

:love:
Danielle

[PretzelGirl]

Most of my activities with friends/family are scheduled (i.e.: bowling leagues, BBQs, family get togethers). So this makes it pretty easy on the decision making. I do dress a lot when I am not doing any of these things.

But when someone wants to just hang out and I already have a dressing day planned, it can be difficult to sort it out. But I do preach balance in everything and I try to do that here. Sometimes I let the friends/family win because everything can't be scheduled (or everyone will start leaving you alone); and my friends and family mean a lot to me. But sometimes you already have plans and it is okay to tell someone that. Obviously, we aren't all waiting around for friends to call. I guess I am missing when we should be calling them and that is one way to get some time with your friends at a time that you prefer.

To roll it up, you have to find the right balance of dress time and friend time. I would say, if you are thinking about it and asking, then you might be a little off kilter. Swing it the other way some and see if you feel you are missing the dressing time. It'll work itself out.

[Jill]

I have to agree with Sue here, balance is very important. And I think that applies to anyone in any situation. If you really like video games, for example, you should play them in moderation. I try not to stay home and skip out on things to dress but instead I dress when I'm going to be home anyway doing other things. You seem to be noticing that other areas of your life are now suffering because of the frequent dressing. Maybe you should try and branch out a bit and see if you can create more balance. If you pass on opportunities to stay home and dress and decide to go out and do something else, the next time you dress will be that much more sweet.

[Jamie48]

I,m lucky I work from my home & dress quite often. Dressing doesn't interfear with my other activities. Usually things are prearranged in advance
so I can pretty much pick and choose when my dressing time will be.

Luv,

Jamie

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of it depends how open your guy friends are. I hang out with mine in either "mode" really and they are good with it.:)

[BethCD]

I found that when I had some elective surgery done back in June that, with the time off, I had the chance to be "me" and went crazy with it. Out of my nightgown and into skirts and bra and tops,etc. Even did some outings that normally would not have happened ordinarily. It was very fulfilling, very relaxing, something I had been yearning for for years.

Beth

[jenifer m.]

for the past 6 or so months i do find that i almost never wear my man clothes at home any more just jenifers wardrobe exclusively,unless im mowing the lawn or outside work,and yes as im getting older the urges are stronger.

[sissystephanie]

Suzy, I am in my 70's and have been dressing longer than you have been alive! I have no desire at all to actually become a woman and never have had. My late wife, who knew and supported my CD activities, knew that I was her man always. I have lots of male friends, and do things with them all the time! I may be wearing panties at the time, but otherwise I am all male. Having a "dual" life doesn't bother me in the least.

[Miranda09]

I know what you mean about the intensity of staying enfemme..it can be overwhelming. However, I try to balance things out and not neglect my male self and all the activities that go along with it...including socializing with my male friends. I believe a balance can be achieved, hard as it may be to achieve, but I think you'll be a better woman for it by not neglecting those times when you socialize in drab. :)

[Presh GG]

Hi,
I'm a GG and as such [non trans/ cis gender]I can't pretend to know in my heart how you feel.

But I do know one thing... True friends in real life are more precious than gold.

my :2c:

Presh GG

[docrobbysherry]

On the weekends I don't have my daughter, I turn down ALMOST ALL social opportunities! :sad:

So I can be Sherry and with u girls here!:)

[suchacutie]

I love my wife, and she is the company I prefer whether as my male self (husband) or as Tina (her girlfriend). So, since given a choice I will "hang" with my wife, and given the fact that I present in the feminine gender only with my wife, and given the fact that we both enjoy Tina...seems I'm in the same situation you are and I think it's terrific!

My only difference is that Tina has only existed for 5 years. You're way ahead of me, so maybe if I was as good at crossing the gender barrier as you clearly are, I might be looking elsewhere for experiences...

Then again, maybe not :)

tina

[sterling12]

Ah, but if you join a local support group, you get a "double-dose." You get to exercise your Femme Personality, and often people who join these groups find a lot of new friends to "Hang" with. These people will be simpatico with your femme self.

Extra Bonus, if it's a Group like a Tri-Ess Chapter; your spouse can also get involved, and you won't feel guilty about not including her in your activities.

Most of us have faced your dilemma. The "Twin-Persona's" usually don't have much to do with each other. Eventually, if you work at it, you can achieve some sort of rough balance. But, be aware that femme you will almost always win The Majority of The Time. A lot of us believe that is basically adjusting to reality. If your really transgendered, "The Girl Within" holds trumps on The Total Imprint of Your Life. It took a while for her to "come out," and now she wants to stay out.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[SuzyZahn]

Thanks for your replies ladies,,,its greatly appreciated,,,I guess the bottom line is at this time in my life,,,,I prefer whenever possible to present as Susan,,,vs. doing drab activities or hanging with friends,,,and I guess its the guilt feelings of am I missing out on other life experiences that gets to me,,,,my softer side has such an overwelming desire to be!!! Confusing!!!,,,,least its good to know i`m not alone,,,,,,hugz

[Alice B]

I'm pretty well balanced with my male and female sides and there have not been any major modifications in what I do. That said, it may be that your wife enjoys having more of your company that she used to get. The more time you are dressed the more time you spend with her because she is so accepting. Food for thought.

[sherri52]

Suzy I follow a similar path. I very rarely go out with the guys. Most of my free time is spent with GG friends and I'm dressed. Unfortunately they are either married or gay. I am divorced and currently looking for number 3, but I'm having fun with my friends and the looking has been very slow. I'd much rather be enfemme.

[kimdl93]

I don't spend a lot of time with guys or have a lot of guy friends. If I'm with guys, its my family. With them, I do the guy stuff...fishing, hunting, etc.

I spend the majority of my time en femme with my wife... I wouldn't have it any other way ;)

[TGMarla]

Like you, sometimes I have to put forth the effort to forego spending time en femme in order to spend time with friends. Always remember that both are important. One does not lead a full life when one neglects one's friends.

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me I have! I spend almost all my free time as Victoria and my family does not know or what to know her! What I am doing and I recommend it to you as well, I am starting to go back to the TG social groups which will allow you to meet other people and build relationships as a woman. However I am also re balancing myself to be with the fellas in guy mode which in itself is hard when I have free time:)

[DonnaT]

I reckon there have been quite a number of times I've got up in the morning and dressed, then not felt like changing just to go off and do something else.

As for socializing, never have done that much. I have club meetings once a week, and go to that, but other than that I'm usually a homebody anyway.

[Kimmy55]

I too dont have a lot of guy friends and the only time I am around any are my brothers.So needless to say I dress almost constantly but if we are going to do something together I do the drab thing.

[SherriePall]

I never have been one to go out with the boys. My wife didn't want me sitting around a bar drinking all night and it wasn't my style anyway. (So, can I blame her for making me the way I am today?)
Instead, I have worked a lot with many parttime jobs or second jobs.
Now, my free time is mine (underdressed mainly) and whenever possible fully dressed. If I have to choose between femme time and him time. Well, I'll let you guess....

[gigiluv]

I have never had a lot of guy friends. I have preferred the company of females since I was 5 or 6 years old, and that was a very long time ago since I am 61 now.

I play lead guitar in a blues/classic rock band. Two other members are guys. That is it for friends and THEY DO NOT KNOW. One of these days I am gonna walk out on that stage and wail Mustang Sally in full dress femme. Yeah right, I am a big chicken.

Girls make better friends anyway.

Gigi :daydreaming:

[Hope]

You know, this doesn't have to be one or the other.

You could do the unthinkable, and go out, dressed, and socialize. This is why being out of the closet is so important. Here is what I do know, friends and social interaction are invaluable, especially as we age. Other people keep us sharp and active, and you are making a huge mistake if you are passing up social activities.