Regrets?

[Tanya83]

For the ones that have decided to "Come out" about this secret side of your life. Have you felt that maybe it was just one of those things that are better left unknown? Or would you say that your life has not changed and the people that now know the real you, treat you no different and you are now happier than ever before?

[NathalieX66]

Wish'd I accepted being a cd'er 10 years ago instead of trying to be a know-it-all, and fighting it. I regret missing out on all the fun I could have had.
Life was good then, but it could have been better.
Had I been able to obtain the resources I have now, I may have approached life differently.

[jenifer m.]

hind sight is 20 20 now.i do wish id come out about 10 years ago my life would be so different now.since i came out the relationship between my wife,and has never been better.

[Cathytg]

I am 65 now and I do wish that I had come out years ago. I was thin and better looking then and would have enjoyed myself more.

Oh, well, being older and wiser will have to do.

[LisaAlexander]

Stealing clothes from my girlfriend... now I don't know how to put them back haha, (I dont know if I even want to! :daydreaming:)

[Rianna Humble]

I have come out at work as a cross-dresser and managers know I intend to go further. I have been pleasantly surprised by the tolerance shown by people who work with me. Some have actually encouraged me and others (who I believe are not too enthusiastic) just don't mention it even when I'm dressed.

Like a number of posters here, I wish I had stopped fighting who I am years ago. I am definitely happier than I was previously and don't have so many mood swings.

I have been out and about - mainly near work - and have had very few negative comments even though I am more at the stage of "man, that dude makes one ugly chick!" than "just look at that ugly woman"

[k lynn]

I tried to hide it for many years. But my ex wife started telling everyone from family members friends co-workers after the shock I found the thruth to be much better now I have been open for the last 5 years life is better. I owe thanks to the ex.

[gabimartini]

The only regret I have is not having come out sooner!

[Nadia-Maria]

That was better for me to let it unknown during my job career. When I retired it has been the right moment to come out.

[Bethany38]

I came out to my wife about seven years ago. I have to say that our relationship has never been stronger. The intimacy of sharing my soul with her, and her with me, has created a beautiful bond between us. I kicked the hinges off the closet door to the world about one year ago. O.K. Maybe seven months or so ago. Anyhoo most everyone accepted it with grace and the ones whom did not I never really needed in my life to begin with. I know this sounds harsh, and maybe it is, but I refuse to hide anymore. The ones whom are truly your friends will stick around. It's a rather good way of weeding the garden if you know what I mean:D...


Anyway thats my :2c: Bethany

[Daintre]

Regrets, yeah I have a lot of regrets, but what happened in the past can't be re written, all we can do is move forward and hope we are putting our best foot forward (even if it is in heels)

My ex and I split over the dressing, she did know before we were married but because we both were so shy and naive, we never openly talked. I have always wished the best for my ex, even though she put me through hell for a few years.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Interesting....

I heard a lot of comments about coming out..... Nearly all positive, No regrets.

I think there are a couple things that come into play in this discussion: 1) we were worried how we would be accepted before coming out. When we actually did, the stress from hiding was gone, a good thing. and 2) we were surprised how welcoming our friends and family were with the news. Lastly, we all wished we would have come out sooner because of being younger. Good thing a beautiful girl is mostly internal feelings!

Congrats to all and I hope this will encourage others that are on the fence to embrace life and be all they are inside instead of hiding in misery.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

The world did not come to a horrible fiery end as I used to scare myself into thinking if I ever told anyone. Granted I've told very few people and on a need to know basis. As others have said my regret is that I did not come out the closet sooner when I had a lot more to burn and to also see how I might have looked around age 21.

[StaceyJane]

I found out that while I was hiding almost my whole family had known for a year.

My regret is not coming out a lot sooner so I wouldn't have been hiding.

My youngest daughter has been especially accepting and I wish I had come out to her before she moved away.

[AKAMichelle]

I told my wife, to help repair a broken marriage. It didn't work. The marriage was limping along on crutches and now it has totally derailed.

What I learned from telling my wife:
1) She would tell her family, friends, and my children.
2) She attempted to drive my kids from me. She told them things to have a negative view of their father. Things that they had no busienss knowing.
3) She would never accept this about me. She has such a negative view of cd'ing that the only way to repair our marriage is if I 100% quit cd'ing. That can't be done forever.

The only regrets that I end up having about this is that I didn't confront this beast back in my teens. Then I have no idea how many things would be different. Then my regrets might be my boys. Sometimes you have to make mistakes for good things to happen. I love my boys and wouldn't give anything for them.

I know that the direction which I am now heading is to meet people who accept me for me. People who can see everything about myself. My business will prevent me from being 100% open, but that is what must happen for now.

[susie d]

With a new girlfriend and a commitment to honesty, I came out to her after a few dates and just basicly told her it was a part of me, it wasn't going away, and that I am not going to change. That sounds one sided which it wasn't as we discussed it plenty. I didn't throw it in her face and make demands. We agreed to take it slow and she admitted she may laugh at me and I said that was okay.

My point is that there is no fear of discovery, immediate rejection, hiding, sneaking around, etc. It is a wonderful, wonderful feeling to be in a relationship with total honesty which I believe was lacking in my previous relationships. Besides that, she is a wonderful person that puts a huge smile on my face, which was also lacking before.

I struggled for many years trying to accept myself and now much older I am finally there. I think that is a huge factor when dealing with others. If you have self acceptance, negative reactions roll off better and supportive reactions are wonderful.:love:

[melissacd]

Like the others, I regret that I did not do this sooner. But regrets are of no value as they change nothing about the past so I am learning to let go of those regrets.

I did come out, my old world did come crashing down, I survived and now I am a happier and more fulfilled person than I ever could have been in the closet. Coming out has a price and that price may be small or it may be big, but the price of not coming out, in my opinion, is much greater.

[victoriamwilliams1]

My regret is not being able to share this side of me with my family! The women can come out and be accepted however the men are basically put out! so I regret not being able to share this side of me and I do favor my mother and in some photos I can do some of her expressions and it is a surprise to me:) Also I favor one of my cousins and side by side we look like we could be sisters and yes she is a GG.

[Joanne f]

Regrets yes i have a few as it did not work out quite like i expected it to and this may sound a bit silly but coming out of the closet has in a way pushed me back in due to the fact of what coming out caused for me and my family and most of the time i feel like i am in an odd place.

[kimdl93]

I tried to hide it for many years. But my ex wife started telling everyone from family members friends co-workers after the shock I found the thruth to be much better now I have been open for the last 5 years life is better. I owe thanks to the ex.

I had a similar experience - and you know - the world didn't end. I did, however, make sure that I began my next relationship by disclosing my cross dressing - her acceptance has made all the difference.

[Frédérique]

For the ones that have decided to "Come out" about this secret side of your life. Have you felt that maybe it was just one of those things that are better left unknown?

As far as I’m concerned it’s better left unknown, and I enjoy being mysterious. Whenever I practice (or envision) trying to explain crossdressing to a non-believer, I don’t get very far. I mean, I can’t even talk to myself about it! I’m beginning to think this “thing*” we do is beyond words, and only crossdressers would understand it. In this case, something is better left unsaid…:hmph:

*I can’t say “compulsion,” because somebody here will chastise me…:heehee:

[DanielleLee]

Regrets? Yes. Namely that I ever told my wife.With as often as I am able to dress, I'd have been better off to keep my mouth shut and to have never, ever put her through the heartache of knowing about this other side of me. Would I have been keeping something from her? Does that offend or strike some folks in here as dishonest? I'm sure it does and everyone on here is entitled to their opinion, but at the end of the day... I only answer to God & my family. While I can't hide stuff from the guy upstairs, I sure as heck could have done a better job of protecting my wife and family from this secret. :sad:

[MJ]

Regrets, yeah I have a lot of regrets, but what happened in the past can't be re written, all we can do is move forward and hope we are putting our best foot forward (even if it is in heels)

My ex and I split over the dressing, she did know before we were married but because we both were so shy and naive, we never openly talked. I have always wished the best for my ex, even though she put me through hell for a few years.

i was in the same boat. all i can do now is wish everyone well and just move forward and make what life i have left a happy one

[KristinSkye]

Luckily considering how accepting my wife is/has been since I told her my only regret is not telling her earlier. I hated to hear stories about what seemed like solid relationships ending after the spouse found out which was one of the reasons I waited so long.

[JenniferRose]

I would say the only regret I have is not coming out sooner since all the people I told, it didn't seem to bother them at all

[sherri52]

I wish I came out 40 years ago. I may have 4 less children, but I'd still have 4 and a happy frame of mind.

[Tanya83]

Fascinating replies! I've been kinda "Pushing the envelope" lately. Wearing womens sneakers and flip flops also sometimes I wear capri pants in public too. It's partial yes but for the most part people don't even look twice. But, there will be a time when I run into someone I know and I'll have to explain my keds and capri outfit. lol
Maybe part of my subconscious mind is working to make me out. I don't know. I can't say that I am willing to just say "Hey everyone, I like to dress like a girl"
My feelings are mixed on this and it took me a lot to post the pictures of myself here. So who knows...One day I guess I'll be at that stage...

[Loni]

my only regret, is not know about all of this when i was much younger.
with the web and this site (along with some others) loni is such a joy.
would have been great to have been "out" back in my teens/20/30 something years.

all the younger girls coming of age now will have it much easer than us old gals,
only 1/2 way there and still counting.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Fascinating replies! I've been kinda "Pushing the envelope" lately. Wearing womens sneakers and flip flops also sometimes I wear capri pants in public too. It's partial yes but for the most part people don't even look twice. But, there will be a time when I run into someone I know and I'll have to explain my keds and capri outfit. lol
Maybe part of my subconscious mind is working to make me out. I don't know. I can't say that I am willing to just say "Hey everyone, I like to dress like a girl"
My feelings are mixed on this and it took me a lot to post the pictures of myself here. So who knows...One day I guess I'll be at that stage...


Tanya,

I know exactly what you are saying about kind of outing yourself. I am at the point that I want others to know the real me. I had been hiding who I really am for 45 years or more living a life others wanted me to be, I am now looking to be honest.

A little makeup, girls jeans, and what my son calls girls clothes are everyday wear. I sure like myself a lot more now.

Be brave and honest, you will not be sorry.

[bron]

I only came out to my partner officially last year...she knew i was a cd when we met, but never spoke of it. I also told my two closest friends where i live and a life long friend who lives far away. They couldn't care less about my cd life....that's what real friends are about. They look deeper and see the person they have always known.

[diannecourtney]

Well,I was found out when some of my stash was found.This past month it ended in divorce. Anyway As I sit here fully atired, I am so pink and the ex went off with me fully clothed in the things I have loved to have next to my fully shaved bod:):):)Oh good living.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I have only been on this wonderful site for a couple of weeks, and i see "being out" used in different contexts, after all this life of ours is mostly a POV thing.

I regret not coming out of the closet sooner, and i won't be fully out till after the 13th when Cassie is fully given life. That means when i do the full make-over and spend the night out at the clubs with my new friends....both GG and CD/TG. I wish i had gotten to this point sooner. I don't regret taking the chances of finding the right ppl to come out to, as i never would have been given this opportunity to have a GGfriend to help me in this journey.

I do regret coming out to my 1st wife as it was extremely painful. She was fully accepting at first and we had fun with it, till i thought, OK i can let myself go and be as femme as i want. That crossed her line that neither of realize existed. She told me it was to stop forever from that point on.

So to my way of thinking "out" can be as simple as dressing more often and sharing it with those that you know are accepting of it, or it can be admitting it to someone you hope to have a relationship with and taking a chance that can be painful, which i'm not ready for again. :2c: mj

[KandisTX]

My only regret was in not having come out to mom earlier than I did. I wasted so much time that could have better been shared with her about my dressing growing up. So much time wasted where she and I could/would have spent time and money shopping for MY stuff and sharing girlie experiences.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Rianna Humble]

Tanya,

I know exactly what you are saying about kind of outing yourself. I am at the point that I want others to know the real me. I had been hiding who I really am for 45 years or more living a life others wanted me to be, I am now looking to be honest.

A little makeup, girls jeans, and what my son calls girls clothes are everyday wear. I sure like myself a lot more now.

Be brave and honest, you will not be sorry.

I can definitely identify with this - I had been denying myself for the same amount of time. The need became so strong that I tried to "shame" myself out of it, but wearing femme clothing only confirmed what I had been trying to fight for all that time.

I still have to hide it in some places, but I am honest at work. The only thing is that the company has a dual policy for dress-code. Mon-Thurs I have to be in drab wearing something similar to a suit (but no tie) until I start my RLE. Fri-Sun, I am free to dress completely with the support of management.

Jenny is so right about the honesty part. It tears me up that I can't be honest near where I live until after the summer.