Can it be a phase?

[Paige Milano]

My desire to crossdressing is fading. Was it only a phase? well i havent figured that one out yet, i have only started when i was 20 and before that I hadnt been getting much luck with women but lately I have been having a lot of luck and my need to crossdress has diminished. Is this a normal situation for some people that do crossdress. I havent even felt like wanting to crossdress and when i look at a girl i see the girl first and not what she is wearing which hasn't happened in a long time. Now im wondering is it possible to let it out of my mind completely cause my brain really wants to stop crossdressing forever. I never really liked looking feminine but just prefered just wearing the clothes and that it is a fetish because i want to get out of womens clothes as soon as relieved myself from the unbelievable desire to crossdress at that moment. So i guess my question is, can crossdressing be a phase and in this situation can one stop?

[Samantha_Smile]

Ive never heard of it only being a phase.
I started 15 years ago, and at first, I thought it was just a phase.
It might only be out of your life for a day, might be years, but for me, it came back.
And it came back stronger.
Same as you will end up having strong urges to complete that new console game on the hardest level.
Same as after a while, you will need to orgasm, whether its you or someone else who gives it to you.
Same as smokers need a cig in the morning after 8 hours of nicotine starvation.
Same as anything that you enjoy.

[Paige Milano]

yeah i know that the desire probably will come back someday, if not tomorrow or even a year. But i have this real feeling of really wanting to stop even though I do accept that crossdressing is not wrong and is not abnormal

[elnkay]

Not sure if you should consider it as fading. Maybe it is just making some room for your new other interests. Many of the girls here have one through the "phase" where they don't dress,or dress much less, that doesn't mean yor are past the desire dress.You have probably read the purge posts, many have replaced the items sometime later.
Enjoy your new interest and see happens, Just don't toss out Paige's wardrobe!!!
She a very cute girl and may need to go out sometime too!
Hugs, Eln.

[AllieSF]

Well, it probably could be just a phase or a fetish for sexual relief. However, as everyone else, we have conscious and sub-conscious priorities that influence how we act and react to different situations. As you have said, you have moved from a "without" phase in personal female relationships to a "with" phase. So your current focus may be directed at that and not at your other priorities that have slipped in ranking. I think that only time will tell. You may go into a crossdressing hibernation and then all of sudden with no other changes in your life suddenly come out of it and really want to dress again. Don't worry about it and let nature and life take their courses. Good luck and enjoy your new friends.

[Paige Milano]

Not sure if you should consider it as fading. Maybe it is just making some room for your new other interests. Many of the girls here have one through the "phase" where they don't dress,or dress much less, that doesn't mean yor are past the desire dress.You have probably read the purge posts, many have replaced the items sometime later.
Enjoy your new interest and see happens, Just don't toss out Paige's wardrobe!!!
She a very cute girl and may need to go out sometime too!
Hugs, Eln.

I definately wont toss the clothes cause I have read the purge thread but the difference is im not trying to suppress it as i accept crossdressing. I also have no desire to go out anymore, i actually dont like the makeup part of crossdressing i have realised, i just like the feeling of the skirts and tights and shoes.

[sherri52]

In my earlier years crossdressing when I was with a girl and very active sexually my crossdressing was almost nil. When not active the dressing increased. Now I dress everyday and most of my friends (mostly GGs) are comfortable with that.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Over the years, I've experienced cycles of interest and disinterest, as have many of my friends. There have been times when I've been enthusiastically dressing at least once per week, then other things have been more important for a while and the crossdressing has tapered off, then stopped for months (I think that the longest in the past 10 years is about 9 months), then started up again.

I don't know anybody who has stopped permanently for any reason except death. I don't know anybody for whom it has been only a phase.

[docrobbysherry]

U said u started at age 20. But, don't say how old u r now!:eek:

I've always thot that if I hooked up with a steady woman, my CDing would drop off. Haven't tested that theory yet, tho!:brolleyes:

Fetishes DO CHANGE! At least, mine have!:D

DO expect to have the desire to dress appear again some time in your life. You're obviously quite young, and u can expect dramatic changes until you're 35, or 45 or so!:heehee:

[Kathi Lake]

Paige, it certainly could be a phase. Everyone is so different, and does what makes them feel right.

It sure sounds like you have the right attitude. Good luck, and keep in touch with us!\\Kathi

[Sheren Kelly]

If crossdressing is a fetish for you, then you may have found a substitute with your girlfriend. So long as things are new, you will probably be content, but don't be surprised to find the desire returns later in the relationship.

The things that ring our chimes seldom go away, but they can be displaced by new passions.

[jenifer m.]

good question.i thought for a long time that it all was just a phase that would eventually burn its self out,but as years passed by i found my self still attracted to womans clothes,even if it was only a little bit,but the phase never passed,and i finally allowed my self to really get involved in dressing up,and of course eventually i got gutsy enough to start going out in public fully dressed as a woman,since then i just dont fight the urges any more,its just too difficult to battle with it.besides personally my life has never been better since i came out.so i figure after another 6 monthes to a year you will know for sure if it was just a phase or not.

[ReineD]

Hi Paige, I can't imagine what it must be like to feel pulled apart inside between the two genders. But, if you can manage to overcome the dichotomy and achieve inner peace and balance, you will have been given a rare and precious gift that very few others in this world will ever be privileged to receive.
:love:

[eluuzion]

Yes, it is just a phase.

This phase is called the living phase.
The next phase is called the dead phase.:)

Anything is possible. It is individual propensity and probability that determines the outcome.

[gabimartini]

Paige, sorry to be so blunt, but there's no such thing as a phase. You are what you are, period. I assure you it will come back. I know somebody who shoved her CDing back in the closet for 15 years! Yep, that long, but ultimately it came back.

Last year, my urges completely vanished for 6 months, and like yourself, I wasn't repressing it. I was living in full acceptance, open for it to come and go, and it never did. But when it did, it did with a vengeance and I was dressing almost non-stop for almost a week.

I think that with time, things tend to level off, at least they sorta have for me.

[Susie]

I can only speak for myself, but the desire to dress does come and go... and I've long since learned that when it goes, it's going to come back at some point.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Paige,

this is totally anecdotal evidence from my own life, so take it with that grain of salt. I too when I was younger went through times when I didn't have any interest in crossdressing, and usually it did coincide with when I was dating someone new or dating a lot. I think what it is, is that our brains can only be excited about so much at one time, so because you're so happily getting somewhere with the ladies, you're more focused on that right now and your interest in crossdressing is fleeting. It likely will return once the dating stuff mellows out a bit for you mentally, to where it's just a common part of your life and not some new exciting development.

Like Gabi said, things tend to level off eventually. Since coming out last summer and starting to wear stuff more and more in public, I feel less and less like my dressing is a big deal, and more like it's just another thing I do. I don't feel as excited to be crossdressing as I used to. But to be clear, I like it better the way it is now. It used to be just the fact that I was wearing women's clothes was what I got excited about. Now, I'm excited and happy when I put together new and fun looks that I actually think are publicly presentable, because I like feeling like I look good, regardless of what store or department I got my clothes from.


i actually dont like the makeup part of crossdressing i have realised, i just like the feeling of the skirts and tights and shoes.

Well, keep in mind, you don't have to do the makeup stuff if you don't want to....

[kimdl93]

Another voice of experience. I won't claim to know what may happen in your life, but I relate my own. I started dressing in my teens, although my first recollection of interest in women's clothes was as a pre-schooler.

I do think that as a teen, the dressing was something of a fetish - since like most teen males, I perceived that I was getting less female attention than everyone else. the desire never went entirely away, but as a young adult, i really didn't pursue it. It came back during my first marriage - but was largely confined to the bedroom or underdressing. Oddly, after the divorce my interest was nil, along with most other things. However, when I got serious with my present wife, I admitted that I enjoyed cross dressing...she accepted and its been a routine part of my life ever since.

[mklinden2010]

Have to agree with some of the others; it's just a phase called life, your life.

Like the need for a sandwich, or, a coke, the interest will come and go, in various ways, but this will always be an option for YOU in some way.

This is part of you. Get used to it and find ways to make it a positive as you go along. It has some uses - like some you already mentioned - and it will turn out to have many more, many of them definite pluses to you and those around you.

I used to, for example, have a fairly "wolfish" view of "hot" looking women. That particular viewpoint kept me from understanding that much of what I was seeing was "just clothes" they put on. The women wearing the clothes, as they explained it when I would finally listen instead of just look, just wanted to be loved, understood, and cared for... The clothes were, in a way, a means to their ends, but their true ends were not simply sex or "partying," but a fuller life overall... In the end, they were just working with the tools current society and culture offered them to get on with the job of living. Having "walked a mile in their shoes" by crossdressing, I began to understand that there wasn't all that much that was "hot" or "sexy" about ill fitting and often uncomfortable clothes. What they were up to - it occurred to me - had to be something else, and it lead me to start asking better questions than, "Hey, baby, wanna do it?"

Have a long and happy life.

[Angie G]

Everyone is different. If it;s a phase I've been in one going on 50 years now.And it's as strong a ever maybe even stronger. Hope you get it worked out Paige.:hugs:
Angie

[LisaM]

Paige,

Like so many others have said I believe that crossdressing comes and goes in our lives. But how much it comes and goes depends on the individual. For some it is a permanent and lifelong desire. For others it can lay dormant for years or decades. My own belief is that it will always return at some point so with that in mind I would avoid purging and be mindful of it in any serious relationship.