The feminization of my wife?

[AlsoSamantha]

I came out to my wife a couple of years ago, and although she hasn't totally accepted Samantha (a whole other story), but she is pretty tolerant now.

Here's the interesting part. She was never really what I'd call a "girly girl", preferring unisex clothes, mens t-shirts, etc. over more feminine styles. When I first showed her my wardrobe, she commented I had good fashion sense. Since then I notice she has been dressing much more stylishly and feminine. The men's t-shirts are pretty much all gone, the blue jeans are fitted, and I'm even seeing the occasional skirt and dress.

I'm sure my own dressing has affected the way she dresses now, and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar.

:confused:

[kimdl93]

interesting concept. not so much here, since my wife is pretty 'girly'. She does occassionally borrow a top or stockings, butost of my things are a little too big for her.

[Kathi Lake]

Samantha, I have seen mention of this in previous posts. I don't feel that it is a "competitiveness" on their part, or "trying to be a better woman" then you. Maybe we just remind them, when they see how much fun we have, the joys of being a woman. For my part, I could never outdo my wife in the girliness department. She is so very wonderfully feminine. When we were dating, she wore pearls with sweats. When we went camping, she brought her purse. :)

Kathi

[Jennifer in CO]

Two possibilities,
1 - she sees your style and trying to pick up on ideas.

2 - your more feminine than she is and she is feeling threatened thinking if she were more feminine you wouldn't be...

third possibility - my wife has never been 'girly'. She grew up on a ranch with horses, etc and no other siblings around to influence her style and upbringing. She is a 'wear what you need girl'. I only have 2 dresses and have worn both in the last year only once or twice. She has 4 dresses and I can't remember the last time I saw her in one...oh wait...our oldest daughters wedding 10 years ago maybe....

Jenn

[Andy66]

We can throw ideas around, but if you want to know what gives, ask your wife.

Back when I was dating a T-girl I would get dressed up because it made her happy.

[Jill]

Kathi said it really well but yes, I have had a similar experience. I used to have a friend who knew about my dressing. She was not that feminine with her dress style and had told me that she did not like dressing girly. After a few experiences with me, she started to change a little. And on one shopping trip at a thrift store, she bought a couple of cute feminine skirts. I think that Kathi is right, perhaps we remind them or show them in a way that they get to wear some very cute and very fun clothes. The sky is the limit for women, they should enjoy it and it's kind of cool that we get to show them that.

[Lorileah]

(just a thought based on hundreds of country music songs) Does she go out on the town more often now too?

[Kathi Lake]

We can throw ideas around, but if you want to know what gives, ask your wife.

Back when I was dating a T-girl I would get dressed up because it made her happy.Thanks for the "back-to-reality" nudge, Anne! Asking does indeed make sense. It's hard, sometimes. We are conditioned to be "manly" and not even think about stuff like this. It takes a lot of "gumption" to ask about things like these. Guys are like that. :)

Kathi

[AlsoSamantha]

(just a thought based on hundreds of country music songs) Does she go out on the town more often now too?

LOL!, no, but I see where you're coming from!

I don't believe it's about being in competition, or about feeling threatened or any of that. I think maybe my interest in women's fashion has sparked an interest in her, or maybe reminded her being a woman can be fun.

She has no problem out girling me any time she wants to.

[SherriePall]

No theories here. But I do know that after I told my wife about my dressing, she started to wear more make-up than just her usual lipstick.
Who knows, maybe it was just a cover in case anyone asked about the growing collection of make-up.

[DonnaT]

My wife hasn't changed her dress sense, but she has changed in wearing more and better makeup. She even takes me with her to get my input when she's trying things at the cosmetics counter.

[Teri Jean]

My sisters-in-law and a few of the ladies at work have started to kick it up some. What is neet is when they ask how you do your nails or makeup and of copurse where did you get that outfit, I got to get one.

Teri

[TNRobin]

I don't think that my dressing has changed my SO's style, but I think that she does feel less rushed now, since she's dating a guy/CD that actually understands all that it takes to get ready and the time involved.

[Madilyn A.]

I have found just the opposite, my wife wears less girly things, and less make up now than a few years ago. It would seem as I have dressed more often and paid more attention to detail, the less she has. The only comments she has made refer to my enjoying being girly enough for both of us. That's OK with me !

[janet p]

I've have seen this twice. One of the girls that comes to the parties at GB2,her wife didn't wear make-up until after she started dressing and SO saw how good she looked. My own daughter had stopped using make-up very much and after helping and hearing all the complements I got on the job she did she said she was going to start wearing it again regurally.:love:

[Madame George]

I'm just going to interject an idea. A wife or girlfriend's increased/decreased use of makeup or choice in attire might have more to do with how she thinks of herself, individually and in relation to her lover, and how she personally views and defines feminine and femininity. As well as how much stock she puts in how women of different age groups are portrayed and the expectations put on them by the media.

Jenn and I consider ourselves equally feminine. Since we define feminine as the characteristic of being female. That said, we express our femininity in different ways. Hers is more femme in style while mine leans more towards butch. My cargo pants aren't any less feminine than her pink jeans, they're just a different flavor. :)

[Shari]

I think you've awoken an awareness in her and she's starting to realize just how wonderful it is to feel like a feminine woman.
Kudos to you for showing her the light.
Far too many women want to be men anymore.
Good news for a change.

[GeorgiaHall]

Since I haven't come out to my wife yet, I can't give much... But I do go shopping with her and usually am the one to find nice clothes for so I tend to think it is the being around a positive girly influence.

[cdsara88]

We can throw ideas around, but if you want to know what gives, ask your wife.

can't say it any better than that. the fact is none of us know your wife and ..someone prove me wrong but I'm guessing most of us don't have psych degrees :) OP didn't ask for the *possible reasons* anyway.

[sherri52]

My wives were opposites. My first was overalls and "T' shirt and the second was all dresses. Neither accepted Sherri so I get no credit or blame.

[lacie]

My wife pretty much dresses for the occasion and can be very feminine when she wants to be. But at home and on weekends she is a t-shirt kinda girl. She is not a big fan of pantyhose at all and rarely wears them...Which is quite the opposite of me. When she does get fixed up she really enjoys feeling pretty and it's all about her. As well it should be. I don't think the thought every crosses her mind of how I look while en femme or how she compares.

[Froggy's Angel]

Just my personal experience.
When Nicole started dressing more and more in front of me, I had a "who am I" moment, or two...

I started to feel really plain and boring and less feminine next to Nicole.
I even got jealous of the clothes that she was buying and complained that I was feeling like the "man" in our relationship too much...

In a way it is good, it has forced me to start taking care of my self in a way that I haven't since we had a kid, but at the same time it is annoying and tiring.
I don't like feeling like I am competing with Nicole,
it is complicated, but just know, from my perspective that it sounds pretty on par to what I am/was feeling.

I used to dress in heels and do my makeup everytime I left the house, now I throw on sandals and only wear makeup if we are going on a "date".
But every time Nicole "comes out" I feel the need to do my makeup and make myself "pretty".
I don't know why, I just do. :heehee:

[bethany356]

I'm kinda going through this now w/ Ver... She dresses nice, and I don't want to look like a crumb bum next to her. I'm not trying to out feminize her (I prefer jeans and she likes dresses) I just don't want people to think "What's SHE going with that loser". So I've been going out and getting manicures, stopped biting my nails and have been going tanning, among other "girly" things. I think Froggy has it right when she said it's a "Who am I?" moment.

[ReineD]

In my case, I began paying much more attention to my style and presentation after having begun my relationship with my SO, because I realized just how attracted he was to other GG's feminine looks. I wanted to continue being appealing to him.

[Tamara Croft]

I'm sure my own dressing has affected the way she dresses now, and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar.Yes!! I even wrote about it here :D

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11824

[Holly]

I haven't had much influence on my wife's fashion sense but I think I have had an influence on how she takes care of herself now. We go to the nail salon together every two weeks manicures and monthly pedi's. She also is more detailed with her makeup, using brushes instead of the foam applicators that come with the products she buys. She also had her ears pierced a couple of years after I had mine done. I think she noticed there were a lot more choices. The biggest thing, though, is that it has given us something else in common to talk about, and we both have come to trust and value the opinion of the other. That's way cool!

[suchacutie]

When I was single I made my own decisions and held my own council.

From the moment I became engaged to be married (in 1972!) my life began to change as we began the process of "becoming one". The changes were monumental and covered the entire spectrum of existence.

Jump to 2005...we discover Tina one morning. Suddenly our discussions had a new perspective to consider. The process of becoming a girl, something I would bet a miniscule percentage of spouses discuss, was suddenly the hot topic of conversation. I wanted to know everything about becoming a girl and my new girlfriend (his wife) was eager to share this information as if it had been stored for years waiting for the dam to burst, everything from psychology, emotions, goals, disappointments, social gender issues, sibling gender issues, and, of course, skincare/makeup/clothes/shoes/fashions sense/stockings/pantyhose/breasts/ and just all the rest. We went to the closet and started to see what clothes we could share (in both directions!).

So, how could all aspects of life not change? Clothes? Hah...frankly she is wearing a whole bunch of my male clothes and they look great on her, and I have a bunch of stuff from her she doesn't wear anymore. Are we more body conscious? Sure we are! Does that change how we both dress (in whatever gender)? Of course it does!

If one's spouse is supportive, transgenderism is bound to generate years of intimate conversation and life-long changes across the spectrum of our lives!

IMHO :)

tina

[Blaire]

I have! Since my self acceptance, and actually saying, "I am a crossdresser," for the first time, she's been entertaining her femininity more and more.

I hope it's not because she's feeling threatened, since that can never happen, but I do know I appreciate it!

[Renee_E]

My wife remained the same, little sense of fashion and a canidate of what not to wear sometimes. I however have become more involveds in her clothes shopping and what she wears before she steps out the door.

[EnglishRose]

My wife has previously told me that she feels bad about her own wardrobe, when I've worn something I think is very pretty (satin blouse, gown etc), and I felt bad for her, too. I've reassured her though that she needs to do whatever makes her happiest and her clothing choices have never affected what I think of her, and how much I love her.

Coincidentally, I've been looking out for items which, while being feminine, aren't something you'd wear to a party or similar. I've never been one for short skirts etc but nonetheless I think my taste is maturing somewhat.

[Jenny Beth]

My dressing really never changed the way my wife dresses and it has never bothered me. While she rarely wears skirts or dresses and hasn't worn high heels in decades she does admire a well put together look on someone else. When we browse through catalogues she sometimes will spot an attractive outfit and comment on how she'd like to wear it but I know she's not serious.

[Lynn Marie]

Maybe she is inspired by you! Hell, if you can look that good with what you have to work with, what can she do?

[ReineD]

One thing I'd like to add to my post. In all fairness I am, after all these years, now single in my (insert decade here). So there is also an incentive to try to be pretty, much like there was way back when before marriage, mortgage, kids, etc. :p

[kimdl93]

One thing I'd like to add to my post. In all fairness I am, after all these years, now single in my (insert decade here). So there is also an incentive to try to be pretty, much like there was way back when before marriage, mortgage, kids, etc. :p

Reine, you're really looking great - whatever decade you may be in ;)

[funkybunny]

i can what your wife feels like i can say that his dressing makes me want to dress more sexy. it feels like a competition.of course his wardrobe is much smaller than mine but it defititely keeps things interesting.

[shayleetv]

My dressing has influence only in the bedroom. I once bought us the same pajama set so we could be twinners. Since then she has insisted that I buy her her nightgowns and and pajamas because she likes my taste, she also tells me that the sleep comfort is great. She has always been a clothes horse, someone with great taste and age appropriate unlike her sister who is almost 70 and still likes to look like a teenager. My wife is my inspiration!:love: