Looking for some advice....

[GeorgiaHall]

I'm trying to figure out a way to start the process of exposing Georgia to my wife. I'm hoping to find a way to get her to have me try on her things to see if I can slowely bring this to light. I'm looking for any ideas to expand the horizons at home (maybe some bedroom fun) and get her involved. If I could find a way to get her to have me try something on, I could say I like it and break the ice. I did put on a pair of her jeans once by accident and she thought it was funny and has told our friends the story and we all laugh. And I once bought her a present that required me to try them one based on the prior jeans thing and I told her about it. She laughed.

Any ideas or past experience would be much appreciated.

[sherri52]

That's a tough call. No one knows your wife like you do and here at the forum we could only tell of our own expierences. The results from one girl to another can be very different. You could try a friendly role change some night. You could each dress as the other and try to spend the night acting as the other as well. Only a thought. Coming from this girl that is divorce twice and neither one was accepting, I wouldn't put too much into my thinking. Good luck

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Georgia

I have to say hints dont normally work

I think you are going to have to sit down and tell her at some point

You should read the link in my signature it will give you some great information

[mklinden2010]

GH,

Please, just open your mouth and say:

"You know what? I've been thinking that this is pretty cool. I know everyone doesn't think so, but it just strikes me that I like this, maybe more than most people. The thing is..."

Sure, it would be great if you'd study all the literature and prepare for months and so forth, but, then again, if you just step into as something to talk about, you both might do better by figuring it out together.

You'll get a lot of advice to read all the advice at the top of the main CD page here, but you probably aren't asking for that kind of advice. You are asking,

"How do "I" just do it and get it out there?"

Try just talking to her about what you think and feel. If you offer it like, "You know, I just think this health care thing could be handled like..." then you have a good chance of having a conversation instead of a confrontation.

Women, like all people, usually just wish you'd communicate clearly instead of stalling around and messing things up with second-guessing, guilt, delay, and procrastination. No weak hints, no fake play-acting, no leaping-out-of-the-closet-fully dressed ***p.

Have an adult conversation about something important to you and get on with your day.

By the way...

The first sentence of the, "How to tell..." page on this site says:

"How do I introduce the woman in my life to the woman in me?"

As all women are different, you're probably different from all men, and all CDers - there may be "no woman" in you at all.

That's why I stress, "Tell her about you, not tell her about CDers, TG people, etc. She's interested mainly in you, keep the focus on you.

The rest of universe you can (both) work out later.

[kimdl93]

as others have said - we don't know your wife. I don't know if its really a good idea to try and lead her into a conversation about cross dressing or bedroom games that involve cross dressing unless she's given you some reason that she might enjoy this sort of thing.

I would certainly want to ask some of the GGs on this site how the subject came up,. But I wouldn't put it off indefinately, because its possible - quite likely in fact - that you may be found out unexpectedly. That surprise seems to harbor the most destructive potential for a relationship.

[Terri Andrews]

Every one is different ,I told mine that I was a crossdresser ,gave her some light books to read and ask her to give them some thought before we talked about it in depth . It worked for me ,but like others have said ,everyone is different .

[Kaitlyn Michele]

only you know...

thats just the honest truth///

in my mind there is approximately a ZERO percent chance that trying on clothes and saying you like it will improve your chances of being accepted or embraced in your dressing..

you may be able to use that or a trans themed movie to break the ice. its a difficult thing to just say (altho it shouldnt be...it just is) without an icebreaker...

i've told the story before that a friend of mine tried to introduce his wife to dressing through a halloween party...he went to great lengths to have a trans friend and accepting wife there as well for support...after the party, my friends wife said that she didnt like the other couple and "that guy seems to have a real gender problem"....so much for breaking the ice

[Ruth]

Georgia, you talk about doing this 'introduction' by trying on her clothes - you need to be clear in your mind what message you are giving. Do you want just to dress in her clothes or do you want to wear your own wardrobe of female clothes? Your wife may regard these two scenarios very differently.
I do too: my clothes are my own and I would not particularly wish to wear my wife's clothes even if they were the right size.

[GeorgiaHall]

Thanks all for the good input and ideas.

[AriannaVillota]

Not sure if I'm too late to comment, but I'll give it a go. :battingeyelashes:

I'm only 24, nowhere near being married, but I've come out to nearly all the people close to me. And the only way I was able to is to invite them over for dinner, and just talk about it.

Not knowing your wife, I can't know how she'll take it. But I can probably assume that since she's your wife, she loves you. So if you really want her to know, you should tell her.

[gabimartini]

Sorry, but I don't think trying on her stuff by "accident" will do the trick. That's the message you'll send, that it was nothing but an accident, whether you display enjoyment or not. I don't think there's an easy way out of this. Costume parties, role playing, movies with CDing themes, etc are not very good ways to approach the subject.

Only come out when you are ready to face the consequences. And when you do, do so by giving her the full story through a loving, respectful, honest and direct conversation. Put yourself in her shoes (I know you'd love that!), how would you like to be told of such a thing if the roles were reversed?