Confused

[lucy10]

Ok, heres the deal. i love to dress. but after i "yano". the feeling goes away, and i hate myself for doing it, however 10 minutes later i want to do it again. What am i supposed to do. how can i fight the urge as i love dressing and don't want to stop.
Thanks,
Lucy x

[Joanne f]

The funny answer (wear boxing gloves) , the serious answer, when a male has relieved themselves by what ever means their body go`s into a shutdown mode (unlike a female who stays in a high) so all excitement that you had before go`s for a short time .

[tinalynn]

What are you trying to stop, the 'yano' or the dressing? I'll assume the dressing, and we've all been through this and felt the same things. It's a struggle coming to terms with what we like to do. The only thing to say is that if you like dressing, keep doing it - it's nothing to be ashamed of. That said, you have to decide how family and friends would react if they found out and be able to deal accordingly.

As for the 'yano' (nice term!)... Ahh, to be young and full of 10 minute energy again... :)

[lucy10]

its actually the 'yano' i want to stop. i love dressing too much :). thank you for the input girls. very much appreciated x

[Cary]

I think it comes down to why and how often do you dress. I dress for a few reasons. Yano is still one. I found that the more I dressed the less yano was a factor in it. As a closet CDer it is like sneaking forbidden fruit. It's not suppose to be for us, so it that rush. When yano happens for me, it about sneaking into "her" clothes. When yano doesn't happen, I'm just me wearing "my" clothes.

[tinalynn]

Dressing can be a very sensual and sexy thing to do. When this was all new to me (my teen years) it was all about fantasy. Now its not so much fantasy as enjoyment. In any case, whenever you do something that's sexy, or sensual, or fantasy - whatever - the natural end result is what it is. That's the goal, and men are almost powerless to stop it or control it. Instead of hating yourself for it, set up a situation where that's the goal - to finish with that in mind. I think you'll find it a little more enjoyable. The end result will always be the same whether you're with yourself or someone else. Enjoying it will be much more fun than hating it...

[Jason+]

I've found that the less hidden and secretive I've had to be about the fact that I like to dress, and the more I've accepted it as a regular part of me the less it's led to "yano."

[Ashley S]

Once I accepted the fact that it's an urge that sort of ebbs and flows, the male-oriented shame after a session of dressing up slackened significantly.

I went through that exact thing for years, now I try to actively challenge those thoughts by asking myself thing's like "What is there to be upset about?" and "What's wrong with wanting to express different aspects of your personality?", and the one that really seems to bring me back to center is "What? Is there something WRONG with femininity?" (Get some attitude in there).

I think it's perfectly healthy to want to be more masculine at times and more feminine at others. You can read into the desire to crossdress as much as you want, to find perspective, but the fact remains that the clothes don't make the person. You are who you are. Always have been, always will be. Crossdressing doesn't change that, it just means you have a broader range of interests and skills, and are more self-aware than the quote/unquote "Normal" guys.

[kaitlin]

Hey Girl, I read about another girl that had a close to the same problem. She would get dressed and get so turned on that she would "yano" and lose the feeling for a while then have to start all over again later. The fix came from more fem clothes ie: a pull on heavy girdle! She would put it on first then panty hose, pants, dress or what ever else she as going to wear! This made getting to the yano part so much trouble she could enjoy being dressed longer without all the starts and stops! Just a thought!

[lacie]

Lucie, the exact thing happens to me. But if you think about it, that ten minutes of guilt is just ten minutes. The time spent dressed and doing the "yano"is the real quality time. Enjoy yourself and after the "yano" just hold your breathe:D

[Nina (uk)]

I've found that the less hidden and secretive I've had to be about the fact that I like to dress, and the more I've accepted it as a regular part of me the less it's led to "yano."

Same here and for many others i do beleve.

[carhill2mn]

Realistically, you cannot "fight the urges". They will keep on occuring. You can learn what you are going to do about these urges when they occur. You will feel better, ie.,
not so quilty, when you are able to accept that you are a crossdresser and that you cannot change that. You can then decide what you are going to do about that.
Good luck!

[Andria]

Wow. Nice info here. Especially Ashley's. :)

[sherri52]

Try getting someone to "yano" with so that when finnished you can cuddle, keeping your mind off of it for ten min. Then start all over again.

[Cassandra Lynn]

It was for me and i suspect lots more a natural progression, started in my teens wearing and masturbating and then ultimately after much time passed i enjoyed the wearing more. I do sometimes grab something satin for an aid to the act, but just for the feel, it has nothing to do with my femme self. Only when dressing does my true inner womaan come out, and the desire to self indulge happens very raely.

I like the above advice about burrying it until a later time, promise yourself that after an extended time you can enjoy the finish. Make it a date, as it were. :) mj :o

[celeste26]

There are chemicals that will cut out the "yano" part if they bother you so much, and we all can figure out what they are.

[kimdl93]

I think the "yano" part is more a matter of age. As a teen/young adult, the desire to yano seemed linked to dressing.... But over time, I found I enjoyed being dressed and under dressed ---and not just to yano. Honestly, at 16, the sight of a pair of panties might have been enough to stimulate yano...but really so does just about anything at that age. I almost think dressing gets associated with yano by coicedence at that time in life... not as cause & effect.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Much like an alcoholic drinks and then when they sober up feel remorse and depression for having drank in the first place. We dress and purge and dress and purge in a never ending cycle of self destruction until we finally either hit a balance within ourselves or seek out professional help.

I'm not calling us "alcoholics" so please do not be offended. I'm only using it as an example because many types of behavior share common aspects.

When any type of behavior becomes all consuming it signals a definite problem that needs to be taken seriously.


Be safe. Be smart

Dawn Marrie

[Paula Siemen]

I think it has to do with blood flow. You know, when you "yano"...the blood all goes there. You ain't thinking properly and you got only one thing on yer mind, yano? Then, suddenly, yano something's over and the blood all go away from there, you know. You get some blood back into you head (the one on your shoulders, you know) and then you start think'n about yano again. What's a girl to do?

[dawnmarrie1961]

You know, when you "yano"...the blood all goes there.

I've heard it called a thousand things but never "Yano"!:devil:

Be safe. Be smart. (And was your hands afterward with soap and water. Cuz Yano.)

Dawn Marrie

[Mackenzie]

I go through the same thing. I get all excited about dressing. Then I am only able to stay that way for a couple of hours because of our home life (with kiddos). Then I feel guilty about c-dressing after I take off everything. I have gone through these stages for 10 years, starting and stopping multiple times. I wish I had a good answer for you, for I deal with some of the same things.

Laced in St. Louis

[caguy1989]

I've had this problem too. I don't want to say it has burdened me, it's just something I had to get used to. I would get dressed up, put on some makeup, and then do the deed, and then I'd look at myself in the mirror in disgust. However, I realized that this is who I am and I can't change the fact that I want to do this so I can't get mad or angry at it. That's when I "got over it", it just comes in time. You'll be okay in the future I guarantee it! :) It happened to me and I got through it so you can too!

-Gina

[Kiera79]

Hi all I get a better "yano" when I'm dressed and more of them. Dressing for me is stemed from my personality not what I wear. But, I will say when I'm dressed (which seems like all the time now) I have a better deeper "yano" and it seems like a feeling I cannot get when not dressed.

[jennifer3169]

Girl I have the same problem and i kinda posted something simialr a week ago and the best aswer i got was just be your self and be proud of who you are and when you yano you want feel as bad about dressing i am still working on this so its not easy but i think that the yano is going to happen sometime or another so you must look past it to not feel bad once it happens I try to look at it as if I were a genetic woman which i am on the inside that if i had just had sex i would not feel ashamed that i was a woman at all and we shouldnt either i hope it helps
Jennifer

[Sophie]

Ok i have an opinion on the topic of this thread but i'm more interestern in the new Euphamism (sp?) created by out esteemed thread hostess!!!

"yano" ...!!!!

BRILLIANT!!!

Sophie

[Imogen_Mann]

You need to learn how to relax into the afterglow, not just crash onto the post orgasmic helter-skelter.

Try something like guided relaxation... Once you get it off, you can relax very easily, and in just a few seconds... And THAT really helps the afterglow to flow.

[Slim Jim]

I don't know if this applies to everyone, but I know for myself and some others, it does. As you grow older, you'll find you have less urge to "blow your cookies" when you dress. You can always work on it yourself, by forcing yourself to stay dressed after you do this even now. You will eventually get the urge less and less. Of course, if you're wearing something really wild like 5" heels, this is hard.

[Dee2U]

I think the "yano" part is more a matter of age. As a teen/young adult, the desire to yano seemed linked to dressing.... But over time, I found I enjoyed being dressed and under dressed ---and not just to yano. Honestly, at 16, the sight of a pair of panties might have been enough to stimulate yano...but really so does just about anything at that age. I almost think dressing gets associated with yano by coicedence at that time in life... not as cause & effect.

I think Kim may have hit the nail on the head. Teenagers are going to find most anything titilating enough for yano but perhaps (except for those who are true fetishists - on another thread) the desire to be feminine is seperate and only coincidental with yano. I know for me that dressing sometimes leads to it but often not - even when I am fully dressed for a day. But it was different in my youth as well.....Dee

[rentonsusanna]

Same experience for me for a long time: play with the girl clothes, have a great yano, and then pull off the clothes as fast as possible.

Then last year I had an accident that left me unable to yano all the way, although what I get still feels good; when that's over I'm perfectly happy staying dressed.

I think there's something about the completion that triggers a deeply rooted male instinct to get up and leave. We all knoiw it's a common sterotype in hetero lovemaking, so why wouldn't it affect us the same way when the woman we are loving is ourself?

If you don't want to try my "solution" (and I don't recommend it!), I guess my advice would be to practice holding your fire so you can enjoy the rest of the experience for longer periods of time. Maybe that will make it less about the yano.

[DonniDarkness]

Sometimes i just take care of it before i dress, so that way i dont have the urge hanging over my head the whole time im dressing. and i am able to enjoy myself better in non sexual activities

and the post about making it the end event is also a great idea as well. kinda of like taking yourself out on a date. you know like dress, sit down with a good girly movie and popcorn, maybe a glass or two of wine.

or try to make a activity during the dressing

things i like other then the yano
1. cleaning the house
2. organizing laundry/ closet
3. tailoring my own clothes to fit better (my fav)
4. scrapbooking (very fun and cool)

[NicoleScott]

Making up and dressing has always been, still is, and always will be about sexual excitement for me. I love to do the complete transformation, with makeup, painted nails, eyelashes, wig, jewelry, perfume, shapewear, pantyhose, skirt/top or dress, and high heels. I love watching the transformation in the mirror as it happens. When complete, I like to take photos, sometimes go out (but usually stay in), and just spend some time en femme. Every session always ends the same way: standing before a full-length mirror in my highest heels and applying deep red lipstick while pleasuring myself. After it's over, I clean up and put away my girl things, ready for the next session. No guilt, it's just the process. When it's over, it's over. Until next time.

[charlie]

Hello Lucy 10!
Everyone here has gone through what you are saying. We dress, get excited and undress and feel like crap because we dressed in the first place. Then we do it again. It goes on and on until we start dressing not for sexual reasons, but to be feminine. Then you start dressing to go out and be you, but as a woman. Still you cannot stop the dressing. I think I have hit a middle of the road part where either dressed or not I'm just me. I have accepted the dressing part as part of me. I still would like to stop, but will not and can not.

[suzy1]

I looked up "yano" on wikipedia and its some sort of pop group?


SUZY

[Abbey Lane]

I have never got to 'yano until last week. I been crossdressing for many years but finally decided to go the extra and final step to makeup. Well as soon as I applied my make up foundation I got aroused and by the time I put on my lipstick 'yano happened. It was incredible...Never happened like that before.
So tomorrow I hope I can 'yano when I dress in the morning.

[Jenny Doolittle]

It was a misspelling.... I think she meant YahOOOO.

[Lynneth Lee]

Apparently we girls have all had the same problem to one degree or another. I used to have a terrible guilt after "yano". I'm sure mine came from my mother telling me how SINFUL it was to masterbate, and that I surely was going to go to hell if I didn't stop!! You can imagine how that makes a young boy feel. Well, I haven't gone there yet, nor do I expect to. After 60+ years, I'm fine and I agee that as you age, the drive lessens. The dressing is still a glorious feeling and as I learned to accept that, I lost any guilt I had. So sit back and enjoy life to the fullest, because it is way too short to worry about it.(LIFE, THAT IS!) GO Girls !!! :)

NANETTE FAYE :love:

[Dragster]

I thought yano was supposed to make you go blind! Is that why I have to wear glasses now, at the ripe old age of 65?

Tony

[ReineD]

This has got to be one of the more entertaining threads I've read.

Yano?

:D

[Veronica Nowakowski]

Ok, heres the deal. i love to dress. but after i "yano". the feeling goes away, and i hate myself for doing it, however 10 minutes later i want to do it again. What am i supposed to do. how can i fight the urge as i love dressing and don't want to stop.
Thanks,
Lucy x

I used to have the same issue, but then it changed over time. I don't know if there's anything you can do about it. But the more comfortable I became en femme the less I wanted to switch back.

[Loni]

well i yanoed once or twice last year. :heehee:

just getting dressed up does it's own high, :daydreaming: no need for the other to feel good.:eek:

getting to be one the "other" side of age, but not dead yet. just need a yano partner. :o


Loni

.

[JessicaMiller]

Ok i have an opinion on the topic of this thread but i'm more interestern in the new Euphamism (sp?) created by out esteemed thread hostess!!!

"yano" ...!!!!

BRILLIANT!!!

Sophie

HAHA, i agree, i'm excited about the new word for it. Very catchy!

Back to the topic. I used to have the same problem when i was very new to CD'ing. Now that i've come to terms to accept everything that i'm going through, i have less guilt to deal with after a "yano".

[PretzelGirl]

Yano? Sounds like the name of a classical musician.

[Sophie Lynne]

I call it the "Pink hangover."

For whatever reason, we are destined to be who we are- lost in the limbo between genders until we sort out what and who we are. it's normal to have regrets.

That said- trying to stop is like trying to stop breathing. Be strong, be who you are.

[Alice Torn]

55, been on antidepressants, lithium. not much libido now, seldom yano when dressed now, but a few yrs ago, always ended it with yano. always felt guilty, freakish, but accept it better now. never had a mate.

[eluuzion]

Actually, we are overlooking another option here that was always picked from the “Georgie Bushes” growing in every public park a couple years ago…the “not my fault berries”. . Here is one of them, if you want to “pick it”.

The “guilt” is not “our” fault. It is due in part to a natural process.

This is a greatly simplified (and probably very boring) explanation of some of the “Biological Psychology” going on inside us…mainly during the last two phases of the sexual response cycle (orgasm and resolution).

Orgasm induces the release of hormones (oxytocin, vasopressin) and neurotransmitters (dopamine levels deplete/replenish). Some of the effects of the hormones and depletion of dopamine levels can be fatigue, disinterest, guilt, meloncholy, etc. The typical scenario is just a brief period of this, then a return to the cycle again
In men, part of the “resolution” phase (recovery after orgasm) includes a “refractory period”. This is a period where you are unable to achieve an immediate erection just after orgasm. (short period).

In short, the post-orgasm “guilt”, etc. is actually the body’s way (dopamine vs seritonin, etc.) of shutting things down for a bit so it can recover and be ready to do it again!! That’s the reason it is commonly described as a “temporary feeling”. When the body adjusts all the levels back to “normal”, the “feelings” dissipate (usually quickly) and you get “horny” again…lol

The second point in this last phase is the memory of the event. Our memories may include not only the physical act and resulting pleasure,but what happens afterward between the partners, particularly in long-term relationships. The experiences are retained and fed into
our desire for another encounter, which completes the circle in the sexual response cycle.

In our case, which is of course is socially considered “fetish”; we just tend to gravitate toward using this rest time to focus on the CD “guilty” feeling more than the rest of the feelings. So we are unconsciously “creating” and retaining a negative memory of the CD event by misguided thinking (i.e..“cause“ of the feeling = CD). This creates a negative memory of the event (yano) to be recalled and connected with our future desires for another encounter. In other words, we are unintentionally sabotaging ourselves.

In some cases, in the extreme form a condition called PCT (post-coital tristesse) develops. This is caused by the release of the hormone prolactin, which the body creates to counteract the release of dopamine (the sexual arousal hormone). PCT is the normal process taken to an extreme level producing the sadness, sorrow, anxiety etc, but it lasts for hours post-orgasm.

So, there ya’ go.
It is just like a ride at Disneyland…you have to endure the vertigo nausea part after the “ride” is over, and when you recover…you end up right back in line again…hehehehe.

Hey, this is a difficult job. If this CD experience was easy, they would have women and children doing it, right? It is a tough job, but somebody has got to do it! And that is why we CDs are all here, making the sacrifices we make, to keep the world safe…

So let’s get back out there and make everyone proud!! We have a job to do.

Somethin’ like dat’…

oxoxo

[Staci G]

Time will help you are still young I am sure and your hormones are still in full bloom. I on the other hand (no pun intended) am at a stage I would rather dress than YANO anyday.

[Neutral Fire]

eluuzion thanks for bring it up I was just thinking isn't there some sort of chemical reaction going on in there that could make us feel very differn't then 5 or 10 secounds before we yanoed? Anyway sounds like we are getting/giving a lot of the same advice which its good to know others have had to deal with it. One of things I am not sure if anyone touched on and something I am dealing with just as of last monday when my theripest brought it up is why are you suprized you get aroused when you get dressed aka me. If in fact my brain is x typed female then when I see feel or exspearance what my brain thinks it is then yeah its going to get excited now sometimes its not just yano sometimes I just feel great with out yanoing especily like when for the first time I dressed in normal cloths and not something super sexy like lingerie. Another thing is right after I dont know about the rest of you but I tend to feel vonrable <<< sp once again the cemical thing and that mixed with a little guilt can be a recipe for real bad things. So what to do well the best thing once again very new to it all but the best thing I have found for me is dont dress in your super sexyiest outfit and be careful of that suductrest satin lol like I say for me its a nice pair of girl jeans and a nice top and just do your dayly rutine watch a movie play a game do a puzzle what ever your fancy and just enjoy your time as a girl it can give you some great insight. Also yes it does go down with time aka age not the dressing but the wanting to yano thing good luck atleast for me I still have a long way to go.

[DeeArel]

You have trained Willie that he gets Yano every time you dress. You can retrain him by tucking and taping. He will fight you for awhile but he will learn.

[eluuzion]

eluuzion thanks for bring it up I was just thinking isn't there some sort of chemical reaction going on in there that could make us feel very differn't then 5 or 10 secounds before we yanoed? .

:heehee:
The info I posted is an extremely "simplified" version of a complex event(s) (and such stuff seems to bore most folks). All of these "chemical" processes are intertwined, varied and always dependent upon or influenced by individual circumstances present at the time. Actually, it is similar to the drug addiction process.

Anyway, rest assured that whether it be a biological, physical or cognitive event you are experiencing...you are not the first or the last to experience it, and will live to see it again.

We are all exactly alike, except for being totally different...

If you really want to worry about something important, worry about all of the honey bees that are dying. We need them to produce as much as one third of the total food supply for humans...yikes!

HaveFun/BeHappy:love: